The Road Taken
by Lady Dami
Summary: Elizabeth was married at 17, but widowed by 19. Her year of mourning is up and so much is expected of her. For her decisions now affect her son and she must protect his future. Will her desires to stay true to herself lead her down the right road? Or could a sacrificial road bring her more joy?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Elizabeth was considering again and yes, she knew to do so meant picking at an old wound but in defence of other considerations, she lamented her current state. How was it decided? When was it decided? But in reality, the how, when or why were insignificant. With her elevated position and all that she had accomplished, she was still dependent and to be a dependant was a pitiable state, and as she was being constantly reminded she was much to be pitied. But as the widow of a wealthy man, an Earl, and with her having shown the great sense in begetting an heir within the first year of her marriage, God forbid she should pity herself.

As she approached her parents' house, Longbourn, she marked off on her hands just who she was dependent on. Such unhappy thoughts were the root of her inner turmoil, but she had her son and his dependence on her was all that should matter now. Philip was a sweet boy and she was willing to be as dependent as was profitable to his interests. Her short time as a wife had left her unprepared. She had depended on Andrew and so naturally rejected a position of responsibility she did not search for. But with all she had gone through she had yet to curse the day she met him, and so found strength in this.

It would be useless to describe the start of that day and as the story was told countless times later, the start of the day was always removed out of the narration of events. The significant event of the hot day of the 5th of May 1806 was the meeting. Their meeting was all that was serendipitous and proper. He was impulsive so when his interest was kindled, as perhaps it had never truly been, he was willing to see it as fate and progress to the next stages. She was flattered enough and young enough to be foolishly in love quickly enough. It was a great match in both their eyes. In hers they were equals and she imagined she had enough bravery to weather any storm. He was happy enough to think himself as having found that everlasting love he never searched for. To the rest of the world she was reaching far above her station and of course, he was stooping so low, to the likes of which society was never to forgive him. Yes, she was a gentleman's daughter, and they cared little about her mother or her connections to acquaint themselves with just how far below his station he was marrying. The material point was; it wasn't one of their girls he chose. So each person with some imagined slight, looking to the support of their neighbours, made their spiteful opinions known. How lucky for the young people that love can be blind when it is convenient or necessary.

But of course, society forgave. They loved him and they could not snub her if she was not in their presence to feel the sting of their contempt. So everyone - at least those to whom it mattered - was willing to look at the situation as the foolishness which love can drive a man without any good sense to and of course, they waited patiently to enjoy the moment when he would come to regret his choice.

As it would happen, fate had the audacity to deny them that opportunity. The foolish young couple went on to be happy and she did not even seem to notice their snobbery, too much in awe of him as she was. She in short but appropriate timing proceeded to give him that much-needed heir and he then had the poor misfortune to die in an untimely fashion. It was an accident, a clear riding accident so they were once again deprived of the opportunity to point fingers. Some did of course. After all, finding fault is not as difficult as one would imagine but the majority of society was forced to give their false sympathies and condolences. She was to be pitied and the barely one-year-old son he left behind was titled unfortunate in place of his noble title.

As her sight neared Longbourn she made sure to point it out to Philip, so at least one of them could be excited, and he displayed enough excitement for the both of them that she spared herself the guilt for her lack of it. The truth was she went there each day for his and Jane's sake. Of course, her father would scold her that he was being deprived of his grandson and her mother would complain at her not being present to hear her lamentations and woes. As she ran her hands through curls that were so reminiscent of his father's the considerations she had fought mightily to keep at bay came rushing forward. It was wrong to be getting so emotional so close to Longbourn, especially if she was feeling anything other than angry. Anger, it seemed, was her best defence to ward off her mother.

Of course, she knew she had to remarry and now that the year of mourning was passed she must look to her prospects. Her greatest dependence. Of course, she must return to town and in so doing the station she held in her husband's life. In that, she did not want to imagine just how many she would be dependent on, but for Philip's sake, it must be done and so much more. She knew that more to the point she agreed with her mother in that. The material point they argued on was the whys. Why her mother belaboured that which they both knew she must do.

In the three years that her life had changed so drastically, her mother had not; at least not to the degree she would have wanted. There was no presentation at court because of her swift pregnancy, her mother was not present at the celebration of Philip's birth for she had fallen ill, and who could begrudge a protective father of the request that she stayed away. So apart from one quiet Christmas at the great estate, her mother had no opportunity to feel like the mother of a daughter who was also wife to an Earl. Indeed, she was much to be pitied, and even more so because her other daughters were not thrown in the path of other rich men. But why her mother's misfortunes were greater than hers, and indeed the rest of the world was the source of Elizabeth's justifiable anger. So yes, Elizabeth must do all she can to return to her former station in life, but she would not do it for her mother, it would be for Philip and her mother would have to be content with her misfortunes as her constant companion.

She tucked away the letter from Lady Julia as they arrived; this was really the reason for these renewed contemplations. The great lady had been happy to remain silent. She held her peace when Elizabeth removed from the estate and when she did not return to town but fled to the wilds of Hertfordshire there were no questions. But the year was up and the floodgates were opened; because it was really unimaginable that a wife would need more than a year to mourn the loss of her husband. No, she shook her head, that was uncharitable.

She was met by Lydia at the door with the news that Netherfield Park was let at last. She took Philip and returned upstairs to provide him ample source of amusement. Elizabeth knew that she did so not only for the love she had for the boy but no doubt the governess was around and she was a great force to be avoided. Plans were already being made for her presentation back into society and it was the shock of her mother's life, just seconded by the fact that a rich young Earl was interested in little Lizzy and not beautiful Jane, that her younger sisters would not be allowed to come. It was all Andrew's doing. Kitty and Lydia had returned to the school room and Mary was given proper tutors. Her father had little to say on the matter as the burden of cost would not be on his shoulders.

However, he did have the grace to look guilty that his son-in-law had commanded a greater presence in his home than he had. But the men bowed to each other's superior wisdom and were peaceable in life having had some fond affections for one another. To her mother, Andrew was high-handed but an Earl, so he was forgiven most sins. His choice of Elizabeth she had yet to be reconciled with and Elizabeth was sure that only Jane's marriage to a Duke would help along the process of reconciliation.

"Where is my nephew?" Jane's welcoming embrace met her.

"Lydia carried him off before we were barely out of the carriage, is Mrs Hopkins about?"

"Yes, but Lydia has such high spirits I am sure a break and Philip would do her some good," Jane replied affectionately.

"Netherfield Park is let I hear, has papa gone to pay them a visit?"

"Elizabeth – ah," Mrs Bennet proclaimed, "you must come and prevail upon your father. Why you both delight in ignoring the very sound advice I give is beyond me. It appears you are both content to have us all be destitute!"

"Good morning Mama, I am well thank-you. Philip is enjoying excellent health and is off playing with Lydia, I am sure I find you in good health." She said calmly as she watched her mother's ire increase. She did manage to resist the temptation of picking up the nearest needlework and giving that some attention before she replied, but that required some discipline.

"Oh, how you vex me! I am pleased that my grandson is in good health, I do dote on him, but we have more pressing matters at hand!"

"Matters Mama, concerning?"

"As I am sure you well know, Netherfield Park is let at last and you must come and prevail upon your father to call!"

"I am sure he intends to call; despite all he says." Jane ever the mediator, tried ensured that the conversation remained civil. But Elizabeth was beginning to see herself being disobliging in this conversation, so she got up to go to the window.

Everyone knew her father would pay a call to Netherfield Park's residents, no matter who they may be. Since her marriage and more importantly, since Philip was born, her father's interest in his estate and standing had increased. As things stood, Philip was third in line for Longbourn and it seemed enough of a motivation to make some improvements. It was too late for it to benefit his daughters, but not for Mr Collins and certainly not for Philip if he should later on inherit. So her father would call and she was sure even the chambermaids knew of this fact, yet her mother's ignorance at this point was an annoyance, to say the least. She was once again called upon to wonder at such an odd pairing. After her own marriage, she wondered that her mother was still wanting in her understanding of the man who should be her partner in life.

"… if you but do your duty then such a match would do nicely for Mary; I am sure Jane can expect better prospects. But the both of you seem content to waste away Jane's youth and beauty. I am much put upon as you may know. It is such a shame that your dear husband departed, although I am sure the matter could have been helped, whatever you say…"

"Mama!" Jane exclaimed.

"Oh dear! You never listen. I am sure it was an accident, my dear. But there are matters of great importance that must be dealt with! One cannot be expected to grieve forever." Executing a curtsey that was all that was proper, Elizabeth left the room.

She would not go to her father, even his consolation would not do. Why he must persist in tormenting his wife she did not want to fathom. Pulling on the bonnet she had just been freed of and collecting her son, she went on a much-needed walk. She would not return to Purvis Lodge, she had come to see her sisters and she needed to speak to her father. There were parts of Lady Julia's letter she would share with him, though she questioned the sense behind that. Dependence - her life was now revolving around that word - she was depending on him to provide some support.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It was a while before they returned to the house. She was sure she would be met with her mother's contrived contrition and her father's admonitions for not seeking him out. In truth, she only returned because her son was hungry and it was too cold to picnic out. She hugged him tighter as she prayed that his health wasn't affected by their extended stay in the cold air. His cheeks were pink and as she stared at him she was amazed as each day proved that the only thing by way of physical attributes she had given her son were his eyes. But his eyes were big and innocent and all the more cherished because of that.

They were greeted properly upon their second entrance, but this time she would relinquish her son to no one and was happy when he protested the separation to even her father whom he had of late mimicked in calling 'Papa'. There were days when that brought joy to her heart and days when she wished he could be scolded for it.

As expected, her mother apologised with a perfect justification of her statement and adequate pressing of her material point, that Elizabeth should do her duty. As was equally appropriate, her words fell on deaf ears. She had hoped that her relationship with her mother would improve once she had Philip, but she found Andrew so set in his ideas of how children should be raised and with her own ideas to contend with there was very little room for anyone else.

No sooner had the servants left the room than Mrs Bennet felt it necessary to share more unheeded parenting advice. "You do spoil that boy Lizzy. His dining with us is most undignified and when you remarry this will of course not continue and the poor boy will feel deprived of something."

"Philip and I do just fine mama." Interestingly it was Andrew who insisted on Philip joining them during intimate meals as soon as he was weaned off the milk. With his passing, she saw no reason to change this or act in another way in her father's home if it was a family meal.

"If I am to be heeded, it is my view that he should take his meal in the nursery until he can learn perfect manners." She saw her father's eyebrows raise at that statement and still he said nothing.

"I am sure I shall be quite happy to meet Mr Bingley at the assembly," Lydia said, hoping to win more support in her early presentation into society.

"You shall do no such thing, as you will not attend." Elizabeth was grateful that her father's voice was stern enough to carry some weight.

She turned her attention to Mary and Philip and watched as her sister attempted to help him along with his meal. Of all the transformations in the house, Mary's was the greatest. A small smile graced her face as she thought of her dear Andrew, who saw worth and beauty, not only in herself but in Mary too. From the time of their return from the continent, Jane and Mary had joined their little family. Andrew had only one brother by way of family, with everyone else being an extended relative whose only interest was what they could gain from him. The truth was, John was included in the list of those seeking to take advantage and as he was the heir apparent, until Philip's birth, everything he asked for he had felt entitled to get. The addition of sisters to his life was a blessing Andrew always tried to earn in his care and nurture of them. If her younger sisters were too ill-mannered for him to be perfectly at ease, Mary and Jane found a wonderful place in his heart. Contrary to her mother's belief that neither she nor Andrew had done their duty with regards to Jane, Jane's state of singleness had been thrice her choice, a fact they felt necessary to keep from her mother. As for Mary, the first year of Elizabeth's marriage was spent growing up and since her husband had refused to move his family to London until their son was at least a year old, she, Mary and Jane contented themselves with the society in South Yorkshire. The frequent evidence of felicity in marriage did much to cement Jane's view to only marry for love and for Mary the knowledge of finally feeling loved.

She laid the blanket over her son as he snuggled deeper into her.

"It is for you I do this my son," she whispered as she placed a soft kiss on his closed eyelids and the carriage gently lulled him to sleep.

The meeting with her father had been successful. It was decided she would return to London after Christmas and make her slow re-entrance into society. Mr Bennet had been persuaded to put aside his contempt for London society for the sake of her ease into it and for Jane and Mary's sake.

They arrived at Purvis Lodge to be greeted by the warm smile of Jackson, her most loyal butler, and a maid to collect Philip.

"You've had another letter from London ma'am."

"Thank you Jackson – oh- Laura please place him in the nursery tonight and I will not be joining you for the rest of the night."

If the maid hesitated at such an instruction, it was only slight. The entire household was staffed with loyal servants from Nettleham and had become used to their mistress's strange habits with her son. He had been taking his rest in the mistress' chamber since the death of their master and she was mostly likely found in the garden or nursery throughout the day if she was not in her study. But they had grown to love and trust their kind mistress and repaid the kindness received from her by diligence in their work.

As Elizabeth settled behind her desk, she knew who her latest correspondence was from before she looked. Lord Durham was Andrew's dearest friend and after his death, he had taken up the office of championing her cause. As a respected member of the House of Lords, he was her voice where she was rendered voiceless. She was extremely grateful that Andrew had the foresight to name them joint guardians for Philip and therefore blocked the path of anyone who sought to claim him or his title.

Dear Lizzy,

I wish this letter came along with news that might lessen the burden you bear; rest assured it would at least not add to it. Amelia and I are well and she asks that I send a few words of her love and longing for her dear friend.

Now that I have discharged myself of this duty, I bear news that will, I am sure, not surprise you. John continues in his quest to defame you. Coward that he is, he will not openly challenge me or your late husband's will but he does much to stir things that are best left to rest.

As the year of mourning is coming to an end it should not surprise you that society waits impatiently for your return, and whilst you are away John's friends, though not respected, are at least large enough to cause some rumblings.

I am aware of the content of Lady Julia's last letter and would only add to it that my protection and devotion is at your disposal. Your late husband knew what position he placed you in when he married you and what society would expect from you if he should pass. He made provisions for you and your son, as I am sure you are well aware, so that marriage need not be your focus should you not wish it. With my backing, that of Lady Julia's and the many friends of your husband who remember the love and laughter you brought to Andrew's life, you do not stand alone.

With that said I look forward to seeing you and Philip. I am sure he has grown.

Your servant

Michael

Elizabeth was not surprised that Michael's words were at odds with Lady Julia's, but despite his best intentions, his words did add to her concerns. Since the death of her husband, she had been left to wonder if Andrew really knew what he was doing when he married her. Such dark thoughts had penetrated through her happy memories during the worst of times. He had protected her and in doing so left her unprepared to be mistress of his household or stand in the shoes left for her to fill. And Lady Julia was right, with his protection gone, society had free reign to judge, ridicule and belittle her. She knew marriage was not her only option, but it was the option Lady Julia was willing to support and she needed her.

The Lady herself was no great advocate for marriage, but as she had said in countless letters, there were very few options available for women and to stand against them one needed to have very little to lose. Her own marriage was a mockery of the institution; her husband made a fool of her more times than she cared to remember, so she chose not to. She navigated her way through society with all the grace and strength of the most elegant swan - always maintaining eye contact. She did not stand against duty, she served it and in doing so gained the respect her title deserved.

The mild knock on the door pulled Elizabeth out of her contemplations. She smiled as a tray of unordered tea accompanied a maid. She indeed had much to do that would need her alert for much of the night. What started as a tool to pull her out of her nearly catatonic state had become somewhat of an obsession. As a balm for her grief, she learnt what was needed to manage an estate. Mr Miller, her husband's steward, was indispensable to the estate but over the year he had come to trust in his mistress and so humbled himself enough to receive orders from a woman. Slowly, matters concerning the estate were brought to her first and her orders weren't neglected for John's. This shift in her relationship with Mr Miller was a welcomed change as it did much to lessen her guilt about the burden her affairs had placed on Michael. Although he never complained, she had begun to notice that he spent more time in her company than that of his wife. And Elizabeth saw no sense in her grief depriving two women of their husbands. So, she learnt what she must and took pride in the knowledge that though she did little to deserve her husband's wealth, she was doing all that she could to preserve his legacy for his son.

With her last duty of the night completed - a letter containing a large order of clothing for herself and her sisters - Elizabeth made her way through the tired house. The stairs creaked as she imagined her bones would if they could. She had yet to regret her choice of Purvis Lodge despite her mother's predictions; it had served her well even with its dreadful attic. Breaking her promise to herself, she entered the nursery and checked on her son, before making her way to the adjoining room to sleep by herself for the first time in a year.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Elizabeth tried not to laugh as her mother adjusted her feathers and prepared herself to go and crow to her neighbours. It had been revealed that not only did Mr Bennet call on Mr Bingley, but a favourable report was given to the gentleman about his daughters. All members of the estate, even the tenants and servants, had benefited from Elizabeth's elevated status. But Mrs Bennet was best pleased with the changes that displayed their status change in such a manner that she might lord it over her neighbours. Despite not spending a season in London she declared herself happy that her house was decorated with the latest fashion and her children clothed in the best of styles. And since she was informed of her husband's introduction to Mr Bingley, she felt it her duty to remind her neighbours that their daughters were no match for the beauty and wealth of the ladies in the Bennet household. Dressed in her feathered head-dress, which she was sure was the latest fashion, she went to remind her friends that they were much to be pitied.

Elizabeth turned to her sisters and all three of them released the laughter they had held in whilst in their mother's presence.

"What news on the Harold children?" Elizabeth asked when the laughter had died down.

The Harold family were one of their tenants and perhaps most loved because of their four delightful children. Having successfully disposed of one of her daughters in marriage, and with little trouble to herself, Mrs Bennet had ceased what little she did of her duties as the mistress. This opened up an avenue for Jane and Mary to be of some use.

The succession of rain that introduced Hertfordshire and the surrounding counties to autumn had brought with it a sickness that seemed to settle into the bones of certain members of the estate. The ladies of the house had taken it upon themselves to bring vitals and their calming presence that such loyal tenants deserved.

"The children are on the mend, but it will be awhile before they are on their feet and playing as is their want," Mary said as she encouraged Philip to align his men and horses in a more proper manner as he prepared for battle against Jane's infantry.

"So Mr Jones' remedies are to be trusted?"

"Perhaps, though their mother has tried every substance available to her. What finally helped is anyone's guess," Jane replied.

"Mary, have you made a decision about what you will wear to the assembly? It is my hope that I might tempt you with a soft pink attire?"

Elizabeth chose to ignore the slight blush on her sister's cheeks. A greater interest in her apparel and an appreciation for her own soft beauty were things Elizabeth continued to gently nurture in Mary. "Well then it is decided you will wear pink, Jane will be grace and beauty in blue and I will embrace the only benefit of being widowed and present myself in emerald, proclaiming my entrance into society."

"Dear Lizzy, I am sure it will not be so very bad and it is best that you are amongst friends." Jane's words caused her nephew to fuss so that he and his men might regain his aunties' attention.

"Oh, I am sure even our friends have their expectations. But Mary, have you looked to your own prospects for indeed Mr Bingley might like you best, or perhaps one of his guests? How many are to be expected?"

Mary replied that the numbers were still being speculated upon, but a large party was to be expected. Elizabeth chose to ignore her sister's lack of a response to her material question, knowing full well that it would not help to belabour a point that she was sure her mother was already championing. She instead got up to join her sisters and her son on the battlefield. It had been decided amongst the sisters that they would get ready together for the assembly, so Elizabeth could at least ensure that Mary's return to her father's house and subsequent removal from society did not result in the undoing of all her progress in Nettleham.

The sisters played with Philip until Mary excused herself to the piano and Jane to Mrs Hill. The sweet melody of thepiano saturated through the house as Elizabeth and Philip went to greet her father in his study. There she left her son before making her way to the upper morning room that was being used for the girls' studies - she had promised Kitty that she would help her with her embroidery and stitches.

* * *

The carriage containing Elizabeth, her maid, Philip and his nurse made its way through the muddy path to Longbourn. As the carriage cut through town, the local people stopped what they were doing to watch the second set of opulent carriages which passed their way. The first containing Netherfield Park's long disputed guests.

As agreed, Elizabeth made her way to her sisters that she might spend the afternoon of the assembly with them since her father had declined to attend; he had requested the presence of his grandson that he might enjoy his company for the night. Trapped in a carriage along with boxes containing items he could not disturb, resulted in the child fussing and almost in tears. By the time they had reached Longbourn he had been scolded twice and Elizabeth was ill-prepared to face the chaos that awaited her.

With an assembly that promised the attendance of new and eligible male company, Lydia had spent a fruitless day petitioning anyone available to her of her early presentation into society. Unwilling to concede defeat she had worked ceaselessly on her mother, exciting Mrs Bennet's nerves.

Elizabeth would later on in the evening be thankful for the chaos she met, for it had the wonderful benefit of taking her mind off the guilt she felt on re-entering society with the goal that she had in mind. But as Lydia's crying brought on Philip's tears, gratitude was far from her mind as she entered her father's house.

Four Bennet sisters gathered in Jane's room as the preparation for the night began. It had been decided that Kitty would join the preparation, though she would not attend the assembly, as a reward for good behaviour. Mr Bennet had been firm: Lydia and Kitty would not attend the assembly but Kitty was to have an earlier presentation than had previously been discussed.

Elizabeth smiled lovingly as Jane twisted Mary's curls in such a manner that focused her dark eyes and sweet features.

"I do look forward to the day when all four of us may get ready together," Kitty sighed rather dramatically as she clipped the pearls into Elizabeth's hair.

"All in due time, the Lucases will hold a dinner for our new neighbours and you may attend with us," Elizabeth smiled and held her hand in gratitude.

"You look beautiful," Kitty responded to her sister's sad smile. "And I will be sure to teach Philip some naughty new tricks whilst you are out!"

Elizabeth laughed, "I am sure there is nothing you could teach him that I have not already taught him."

"After all, who do you think taught you all your tricks?" Jane asked as she helped Mary up. Mrs Bennet's entrance was all that was needed to take Elizabeth's mind off the dark thoughts that were entering her mind.

"Oh, my dear girls how beautiful you all look! Though you are nothing to Jane, Mary you do turn out quite nicely. It is such a shame that Lydia cannot attend and Kitty too. Why you girls refuse to work on your father on her behalf is beyond my understanding, for like I said it hardly encourages sisterly affection, but no one ever listens when I give sound advice. I am sure Lydia is sick to be so betrayed by her sisters. But we must not be late. And you must put yourself forward Mary, like I have been saying, for you have much by way of accomplishment to capture any man, and some men prefer a plain wife.

" Oh, Hill! Where is the carriage? We must not be late for you know Lady Lucas would love to put her Charlotte first!"

A sisterly embrace and quiet laughter were all the ladies needed to fortify themselves to follow their mother down the stairs. They each gave Philip a kiss and continued their procession into the carriage. Adjusting themselves in such a manner that ensured the protection of their tender sensibilities they sat in the carriage, happy to let Mrs Bennet carry the burden of the conversation. Elizabeth chose to focus on her mother's words that she might not find herself reflecting on her own inner turmoil, but if asked to relay the substance of the conversation she could only say that in involved a farmer, lace, and a dishonest maid.

Elizabeth chose not to hear the silence on her entrance or the announcement of her presence. She did feel the squeeze each sister gave her gloved hands as she tried to remember she was amongst friends. Charlotte approached them with appropriate warmth and all four of them ensured that they were as far as possible from Mrs Bennet and her flock. It seemed all the guests of this public assembly had unanimously decided on an early arrival that they might not miss the appearance of their distinguished guests; so the Netherfield party had the opportunity to be fashionably late.

It so happened that their arrival was timed on one of the few occasions Elizabeth stood near her mother, so Mr Bingley's request to be made known to the Bennet family could rightly include her. She held her breath as she heard her mother's glowing words, "…The Countess of Rockwood…" She saw the eyes of each member of the Netherfield party light up in surprise to find a member of the peerage in such a gathering. She saw as the women took their measure of her and determine for now to disregard her title and consider her beneath them until more was known of her connections and her claim to the title. As was her habit, Elizabeth repaid each lady with a look that fully showed her appraisal of their character. The introductions continued with no further surprises.

Mr Bingley, for propriety's sake, requested her hand for the next set, but Elizabeth did not miss the marked look of interest he showed to Jane as he asked her hand for the next. As he asked Mary for the third set, Elizabeth determined to like him. She was unsurprised to find his mild and light appearance spoke truthfully of his affable manner. Accustomed as she was to her mother's less than sensible manner, Elizabeth wasn't surprised by the way her mother tried to force Mr Darcy to dance with Jane. Her cheeks coloured like those of her sister's as Jane said all the polite things necessary to defuse the tension. The request to dance was not forthcoming so Mr Bingley, alone in his party, led Elizabeth through the next set.

Mr Bingley was all that a gentleman ought to be, and Elizabeth could not help but feel it was such a sad omen that it was here in Hertfordshire, whilst she prepared to away to London, that such a man was to be found. Their dance seemed to represent to her all that she could not expect from the society in London. With such thinking, she was happy to relinquish his hand to Jane's warmer ones.

As she expected, the gentleman's sisters proved themselves to be less than he. They descended on her with less than proper questions and offered the false condolence on her late husband's death. Their query into their lack of a previous introduction to herself, suggesting that they knew all that was to be known of the ton, showed them as nothing but the social climbers they were. Elizabeth's pointed questions to their family estate and their brother's desire for a recent acquisition was all that was needed to stiffen Miss Bingley's upper lip and produce a fan from Mrs Hurst.

After ensuring that her sister Mary was well tended to - having sufficient partners for the night - she joined Charlotte who had been obliged to sit out for the current set and sat in an obscure corner.

"I doubt you are without a partner for the next set, Eliza," Charlotte said to her approaching friend.

"As a matter of fact I have yet to be asked and I am seeking refuge in hopes that I will not be."

Charlotte took her friend's hand and gently patted it. "It will get easier my dear."

"I cannot imagine it would, but in any case, such thinking takes something from tonight and you know I will not have that. I have enjoyed myself, so you need not worry."

Their silence was disturbed by Miss Bingley's vexed tones. "…I am sure she was exiled here after the death of her husband, and with her mother, it is no wonder the current Earl would have nothing to do with her. I have not heard of the Earl of Rockwood, have you, Mr Darcy?"

"In passing." The gentleman's voice was warmer than Elizabeth expected for such a tall regal man.

"Well, I was almost certain that the title was usurped in some fashion. To think, a Countess in such an environment. Her late husband must have been duped in some manner. I wonder what the circumstances surrounding her marriage was, scandalous I am sure."

"Perhaps the late Earl was ageing and cankerous. Such men are rarely scrupulous in their choice of a wife," replied her sister as she continued to fan herself.

As Elizabeth listened to the ladies' conversation she felt her friend's hand slip into hers to give it a gentle squeeze. As she turned to smile at Charlotte she was unaware that at that moment a member of the group had spotted their location and saw the exchange between friends. She did see however a glowing Miss Bingley being led for the next set by Mr Darcy. She was unaware of the nature of the relationship between the couple but by association, Mr Darcy became equally guilty of Miss Bingley's sins.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Fitzwilliam Darcy was seldom taken by surprise. He was convinced he knew enough of the world to anticipate all within the spectrum of human interaction and reactions. This belief would be challenged many times in his lifetime but in the eight and twenty years of his life, it had been severely challenged twice. The first on that infamous day at Ramsgate when his sister's contemplated elopement was disclosed to him, and the second as the fierce flow of protection surged through his veins as he looked through the large emerald eyes of Lady Rockwood. Of all the attributes his mind and heart should focus on, Darcy would laugh at himself that in the presence of such beauty it should be her eyes that he first noticed.

Uninterested and ill at ease, Darcy presented himself to the Meryton public assembly. It was expected of him so it was done. His hatred for such events was inconsequential, but determined to be displeased with everything he saw, he came. He expected to be met by some standards of beauty, for beauty wasn't as rare as many would have him believe. Of the Bennet ladies' reported beauty, it could at least be said that they each knew how to accent all that was available to them. Clothed in elegance they gathered as chicks around their over-feathered mother. He noticed her blonde, classically beautiful sister first. Miss Jane Bennet was all that was delicate and pliable, and so easily forgotten. Miss Mary's gentle and calm beauty was still being overshadowed by her insecurities and would only encourage brotherly affection in him. A part of Darcy's mind, he was sure, took notice of Lady Rockwood's olive tone and chestnut hair that implied an exotic beauty. Her full lips would not have escaped his attention, nor would her extremely suggestive womanly curves, but as he looked upon her eyes the sadness and the pain so reminiscent of Georgiana's, his protective instinct surprised even him.

Faced with the ridiculousness of the mother, the beauty of her daughters was easily forgotten. Her vulgar attempts to promote one daughter even above the interest of her others did much to restore Darcy's feeling of righteous anger at the society found in Meryton.

The night was wearing on his patience. Admittedly much of his annoyance could be laid at the feet of the company amongst his own party. But as it was not strictly proper to hold his hostess in contempt, the people of Meryton were left to feel the sting of his rejection. He could hear their whispers as they universally decided his ten thousand pounds a year was not enough to protect his character. He was deemed proud and disagreeable and since this judgement suited his interest, he did not see fit to suggest otherwise.

The ladies from Netherfield had kept themselves busy in finding out all that they could of Lady Rockwood. Much of what they had found had been relayed by the lady's own mother, who had gleefully told of the lady's marriage and subsequent widowhood. Their own conversation with the Lady gave no further information other than their conclusion that she was proud and undeserving of a noble title. However, Darcy gained from their conversation that she was wise and not willing to be browbeaten by the Netherfield ladies.

All Darcy could remember of his own acquaintance with the late Earl was that he was a steady and calm gentleman, who could be called upon to bail his brother out of the sticky situations the Viscount often found himself in. Of the Viscount's escapades, he knew enough to be thankful he was not Earl and head of his brother's fortune. As the ladies voiced their own misconceptions of the match, no doubt fuelled by the falls in their own characters, Darcy wished he could admonish them or at least release himself from their company. The search for an escape brought to his sight the pained look on Lady Rockwood's countenance. That she could hear Bingley's sisters was evident by her delicate hand balled up into a fist. In the only fit of gallantry he would experience for the night, Darcy asked Miss Bingley to dance and in so doing ended her venomous speech. As the dance progressed, he turned to see evidence of the Lady's silent gratitude only to find her in an animated discussion with her friends nearby. A feeling of discontentment settled upon Darcy as he found himself cast as the unsung hero.

Elizabeth slipped into the slightly warm bed to enjoy the only benefit she had looked forward to all night. Laughter erupted from her lips as her feet met Mary's cold ones. As a fitting conclusion to the night, the Bennet ladies had gathered in Jane's room to discuss the success of the evening. Mary timidly proclaimed the night a success – for she had been without a partner for only two dances, a rarity for her here in Hertfordshire. As Jane sang Mr Bingley's praises, Elizabeth held her peace on her judgement of the rest of his party. She would tell Jane so that her sweet sister might be on guard, but she worried how much the behaviour of the sisters might weigh against their brother. It was not her desire to rob her sister of her chance for love, so she tentatively told Jane of the sisters' remarks and the friend's inaction. That Jane was troubled she could easily tell, for she had loved Andrew as a dear brother and to have his name or memory blemished was perhaps unforgettable. Elizabeth's anger from the recitation calmed as Mary drew her hand, interlocking their fingers. It did not remove the sting, but the solidarity of her sisters was all Elizabeth needed to enter into her first dreamless sleep in a year and for that, she would be eternally grateful.

* * *

The family gather for a late breakfast to hear Mrs Bennet's loud proclamations on last night. It was clear that she was yet undecided as to whether the evening was a success. She declared herself happy at Mr Bingley's attentions towards Jane and in the same breath declared her vexations that he should presume to show such attentions, for Jane was too beautiful for him. His sisters were deemed proud, but they were ladies of fashion and therefore forgiven every sin. Though she had been called several times to remind them of Elizabeth's status and Mary's innumerable accomplishment; but this, she assured her family, was done for their benefit. Mr Darcy was hailed to be the proudest and most disagreeable man, but the only sin she could accuse him of was that he showed no interest in Jane. Elizabeth had yet to make public knowledge of the slight by the sisters and the intended slight by the gentleman. She had concluded it would serve no purpose than perhaps her mother calling out the offending party – for her mother guarded her daughter's new station in life more jealously than even Elizabeth.

"But Mr Bingley will do for now. For as I always say, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush," Mrs Bennet concluded.

"Wisely spoken Mrs Bennet, after all, Jane cannot be expected to wait forever for this unforthcoming Duke," Mr Bennet said as he raised his morning cup of coffee towards his wife.

"Well! She would not have been expected to wait if Elizabeth would do her duty. She would have been married by now, with several children of her own, I am sure of it. But her sister seems content for her to remain a spinster. Why Lord Rockwood looked to Lizzie I will never know, for it shows poor sense if you ask me, but there you have it," Mrs Bennet replied to the dismay of everyone present. Elizabeth threw her father a disproving look for starting his wife on her most favourite misfortune. Poor Jane could only blush as her mother's pronouncement of her pending spinsterhood was all the conversation to be had at the breakfast table.

Happy in the mischief he had caused, Mr Bennet turned his attention to his grandson, whom he collected from Mary after he had been cleaned, leaving the ladies to their mother. It was their routine that when Elizabeth was at Longbourn in the mornings she would, along with her sisters, make calls to their tenants.

After dispensing of their morning duties, the ladies were welcomed by their first caller of the day. Charlotte had come with enquiries on how Elizabeth was doing. Before her marriage, Charlotte would have no need to be worried about her friend. Elizabeth, she was sure, would have brushed off such remarks and conjured up a witty response that accompanied her scorn. However, Elizabeth was no longer Elizabeth and it was not too far a stretch of the imagination to expect Lady Rockwood to be hurt by such remarks about her late husband and their marriage.

With the doors now opened for callers and entertainment, it was not unexpected that Longbourn received more male callers than it had previously received. In fact, the lady of the house considered it only right and had no issues serving her third daughter up as the weakest wildebeest for the lions to devour. Amongst the callers were the ladies and one of the gentlemen of Netherfield Park. Miss Bingley and her brother were amongst the last to call and it was clear to those perceptive enough to see, they had tried mightily to miss the polite time for calling.

Mrs Bennet had yet to give up her campaign for Mary and Mr Bingley, so she tried all that was proper and perhaps improper to get the gentleman to engage with her other daughter. But Mr Bingley's polite determination was to be commended. A guarded conversation, guarded on the young lady's end, was struck between himself and Jane. Even with the lateness of the hour for calling, the drawing room was yet full, for some people had stayed longer than was strictly polite.

Miss Bingley unhappy with the deference shown to the Countess said, "How is the current Earl of Rockwood? Well, I hope?"

The quiet hum of the drawing room stilled, "My son is very well thank you." Elizabeth replied stiffly. The shock on Miss Bingley's face was clear to see. This moment would have been a more sensible time for Miss Bingley to gain some sense. For a wise person would have deduced that with Elizabeth doing her duty in begetting an heir, her hold on her status was still valid and would continue to be so, Lord willing, for the rest of her life. But jealousy was not wisdom and it produced very little in the way of sense. As the tension defused other conversations began again, but one of conversation in the room received very little encouragement from one individual. So as Mr Bingley's carriage pulled away, none of its occupants left feeling satisfied.

Perhaps promoted by Miss Bingley's question, once the morning calls had ended Elizabeth went where she had not been in 13 months. Over the years the stable at Longbourn had received an expansion. Shortly after Elizabeth's marriage to an Earl Mrs Bennet had insisted that it was a disgrace of the highest proportions that she was seen in what had been the family's carriage. Being a fanatic horseman, Lord Rockwood had seen fit to gift his mother-in-law with new horses and Mr Bennet had purchased a new carriage. Along with the various expansions of her knowledge on what was expected of a gentlewoman, per Andrew's insistence Elizabeth, Jane and Mary had been given horses and lessons. For the joy it brought her husband, Elizabeth had overcome her apprehensions, yet only the meekest mare would suit her. Mary, though not as skittish as Elizabeth, had received an equally mild mare. But for Jane the gentleness she had in abundance was severely lacking in the stallion she finally received. All these animals, as well as the pony Andrew had intended for his son, were brought along with Elizabeth on her departure from her estate and kept at her father's house. As part of an agreement, one she had lost, Philip would begin his training. Her father and Mr Davis, Nettleham's head coachman, were determined that her son would be a horseman equal to his father. Elizabeth had only relented when she was told of her son's joy and natural abilities upon his pony, for she could deprive him of nothing and her fears need not be his. But she had never seen him upon his pony nor had she even set foot in the stable yard.

Her son's gentle laughter hurried her feet along as she made her way to her father's stable yard. There she saw him with his determined little tongue sticking out upon a pony.

"Mama see!" he said with great delight upon noticing her presence. Her boy was tall for his age and upon a horse, he looked very regal.

As a tear rolled down her cheeks she repeated to herself what she needed to say more regularly, "He is not his father. He is Philip, not Andrew."

As she stepped closer she pushed her troubled heart aside to become a mother.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

As Elizabeth read through the latest reports on the damages the recalcitrant weather had caused to her tenants' houses and the like, she was grateful that such things came to her. Mr Miller knew what to do, and no doubt would have implemented the necessary action before he received her reply, but for politeness' sake, he wrote to her and she would write back. Halfway through the necessary enquiries and instructions to Mrs Kelly, the housekeeper at Nettleham, Mary was announced into her office.

The troubled look on Mary's face stilled Elizabeth's welcoming smile as her sister sat down. "What is the matter?"

Instead of an answer, Mary produced a letter in Jane's handwriting. The letter informed her that Jane had found herself ill at Netherfield and should not be expected home. Further enquiries of Mary informed her of Miss Bingley's invitation and their mother's request that Jane went on horseback. Jane loved riding and had of late neglected it for Elizabeth's sake, so would have needed no further persuasion to forgo the carriage despite the suspicion of rain. A slight cold would not have presented such an immediate concern to Elizabeth, but the memory of Jane's care to the current sick tenants at Longbourn spurred Elizabeth to action, leaving her letters incomplete.

Within the hour all the necessary preparations were made for a possible extended stay at Netherfield and Elizabeth and Mary made their way to that estate. Neither of them was looking forward to the company to be found there as the subsequent meetings had not improved early assessments, in fact, it had got worse.

On finding the household still in the dining room, the earliness of their arrival dawned on Elizabeth and Mary, but it could not be helped. They apologised for their disruption, citing concern for their sister's welfare and requested to be taken to her. This was done immediately and both ladies left a room that would no doubt hold them in contempt for their actions.

True to form as soon as the door closed Miss Bingley, with her sister's support, told that such disgraceful behaviour was to be expected of the Countess. She expounded on all she knew of the Bennet family's connection and belaboured her original point that Lady Rockwood was ill-suited to her role. She concluded that the late Earl, though young and by all reports handsome, was no doubt a fool and all his sensible relations were joined in condemning Elizabeth. Such pronouncements entertained no one and certainly not the intended party, but it was successful. For in the heart of one of the present company, doubt had taken root and was being fed.

The sisters were led through a house that was not new to them – for Netherfield was where Elizabeth had first met Andrew. More than three years ago he had leased Netherfield with the intent to use it for a sporting party.

Jane was found to be very poorly indeed but only time would tell if her sickness was any different from that of their tenants. Collectively the sisters prayed that improvements would be found, for that was the tell-tale sign by which to differentiate.

As the day wore on, the sisters took turns cooling and encouraging Jane in her endeavours to get better. Unspoken amongst them was the fact that the last time they had gathered in a sick room was at Andrew's bedside. In due time the ladies of the house joined and left the sisters, Mary was sent home with reports of Jane's health and with great reluctance, Elizabeth had been invited to stay.

Along with her carriage, Mary had been given instructions for Elizabeth's maid and charged with Philip's care. Dressed for the evening, for she had been informed that the ladies preferred town hours, Elizabeth made her way to the drawing room. She was met by polite inquiries about Jane's health and not so subtle hints by the ladies that there was too much fussing for a slight cold. On noticing Mr Darcy's frown and sharp glance at Mr Bingley, Elizabeth was forced to revise her early judgement on the gentleman's character, at least to a degree.

The separation of the sexes after dinner gave Elizabeth time to contemplate the enigma that was Mr Darcy. After their first encounter, she had only thought of him long enough to gain further proof of his pride and then dismiss him as being not worth the notice. That Miss Bingley was interested was plain to see, also plain was the gentleman's lack of interest. But the lady was insistent.

The enigma lay in the gentleman, for there were two available reasons as to why even a little interest was given to the lady. Either the gentleman was too polite to show her any less respect than that due to her as hostess and sister to his friend, or that he delighted in encouraging the attentions of maidens irrespective of his intentions towards them. Although reasonable, the first seemed unlikely to Elizabeth – for politeness demanded better from the gentlemen with regards to the society in Hertfordshire. Luckily for Mr Darcy, Elizabeth thought the second reason just as unlikely as the first. For she reasoned if that was the case, then he would have nurtured the good opinion of at least some of the ladies in her society, for some were just as desperate as Miss Bingley. As the gentlemen returned, Elizabeth was left to hope that a more intimate setting would bring clarity.

Once the entertainment for the evening had been decided as cards, which Elizabeth declined to participate in, she proposed a question to the lady of the house.

"Miss Bingley, might it be possible for my son and his nurse to visit for the duration of my stay here? I would hate for my stay to mean sacrificing his company." To Elizabeth, this was a perfectly reasonable request but she had waited on the gentlemen's return, for she was afraid that the lady's hatred for her might result in a less than favourable response.

As Miss Bingley's jaw clenched her sister saved her the opportunity to respond, "Are you not afraid to bring your son to a house with sickness? It cannot be wise to expose him."

Elizabeth smiled impatiently. "Of course, I will wait to be assured there is nothing more serious the matter with Jane before I request his presence and there are methods available to prevent the spread of an infection. As I am sure Netherfield is well kept, I see no reason to fret." She made her reply to the lady of the house, assured that if she didn't reply the master would.

"I have been told that one can never be too careful but, if you wish to be otherwise your son is welcomed here," Miss Bingley said as she returned her attention to her game.

Happy with the contempt of the ladies present, if it meant seeing her son once it was safe to do so, Elizabeth stayed for as long as politeness dictated before excusing herself to check on her sister.

* * *

Darcy knew not what to think as he settled in his bed that night. The last few weeks, perhaps even months, had been a torment for him. He had moved from one emotionally fraught situation to another. After leaving Georgiana for a while, he was now assured of the correctness of that decision; she was improving and for that he was grateful. His fixation on Lady Rockwood was a whirlwind that promised no end in sight. If her eyes were what he first noticed, the rest of her anatomy soon made its way into his consciousness and held sway over his unconsciousness. Protection had led to intrigue and intrigue to desire in the space of a week. It was all too confusing. Any perceived weakness he saw in her during waking hours brought about pity and a protective instinct. Whilst he slept those weaknesses morphed and became part of such lewd dreams as to cause him to feel shame in the morning.

Subsequent movement in society had resulted in them being thrown together and although she did nothing to encourage him, or perhaps because she did not, each meeting ended with a greater appreciation for her unique appeal. One such meeting had been at Sir William Lucas's house. He had actually enjoyed his time there; the presence of Colonel Foster had ensured some intelligent conversation and since his mannerisms were so similar to his cousin, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam, he was content. That was until she came, the force of nature she had the potential to be. Bathed in lavender and dressed in maiden cream he had to control a physical urge to kiss her. He had been sure that her skin had a darker hue that was not strictly fashionable, but in that dress and in that light such perceived flaws were non-existent.

He was sure he said something foolish when called upon to speak. When she was called to play and sing by her friend, she was angelic. Her first song was that which was typically found in many a drawing room in London. But on her second song, no doubt a lullaby sung to her son and one his mother had sung to him, he was transported to Pemberley, to that more intimate part of his soul where sweet things were stored.

But his conflict and doubts were founded in that one cruel slave-master, duty. Her previous marriage had made her eligible and whatever her family's connections, they could be easily ignored. But only if she was received and accepted in her role. There were social expectations for his wife, would she be up to it? He saw a capacity for strength in her, but was it enough? Her responses to Miss Bingley were promising but Miss Bingley was one woman and very much like others. She and her husband had kept themselves away from London - was that a reflection on her or him? Such questions plagued him, for if it was his choice alone he would marry her, move to Pemberley and consign the rest of society to the devil. But he had a duty and there was Georgiana to think of. After recent events, she would need a strong woman to help her navigate through London society. Yes, Lady Matlock was available but it was not his desire to take a wife that could be shunned to the side.

Much had been revealed to him when the ladies had interrupted this morning. On her appearance, he had wondered like Miss Bingley whether such disregard of propriety was necessary for a simple cold. But he only needed to be reminded of the affection siblings should have for one another to excuse her and her sister. Since want of propriety was found only in her mother, it was safe to conclude it was not the norm amongst the family, and there were ways to keep Mrs Bennet out of Pemberley. He now believed the only thing that stood in the way from his declaring himself, was how she would be received by society. Would their alliance be a disgrace leaving him to be ridiculed or would it be seen as a marriage between equals?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Elizabeth was tired. She had spent the night caring for her sister and her diligent care had produced results. Much of the night had been spent in fear that Jane's illness was more than a cold. At one point in the night, her sister had developed a fever but as the morning dawned her fever broke and Jane looked on the mend. After being assured that all was well she left Jane with Lucy, her lady's maid, and laid her head down for some troubled sleep.

Ill prepared as she was to face the members of the household, Elizabeth sought what relief she could and wrote a letter to her mother concerning Jane's progress. She longed to see her son and so made a request that Mary accompany her mother when she came later to call.

The company at the breakfast table was as bad as she expected. If she did not have evidence to the contrary, she would have concluded that some members at the table had experienced just as troublesome a night as she had. The gloom of the breakfast table hung on the occupants of the house until Mrs Bennet descended at their door. First to exit the carriage, she immediately declared her delight at being yet again at Netherfield and her state of perpetual agitation on hearing of Jane's illness.

Elizabeth was to blame, Mrs Bennet was sure of that – for some lapse in her duty had no doubt resulted in Jane's ill health. All of her mother's woes went unheard as Elizabeth reach for her son. They shared a sweet embrace before he remembered all that he had to tell her. With more gusto than Elizabeth had previously seen in him, he told his mother all that had occurred in their short separation. Unbeknown to mother and son, their sweet embrace encouraged such varied emotions in the two individuals who had witnessed it.

Mrs Bennet's loud complaints carried on as their party made their way to Jane's room and Philip was handed to his nurse to await her in Elizabeth's room. Once assured that Jane's illness had not affected her beauty, Mrs Bennet was happy to wait on the ladies of the house. After receiving some tea Mrs Bennet felt calm enough to thank the Bingley family for the care shown to Jane. With the polite necessities out of the way, she introduced her favourite topic – of Jane's beauty and calm disposition. Perhaps sensing the contempt of the ladies in the room, Mrs Bennet moved on to another beloved subject - Elizabeth's advantageous marriage. Andrew was praised as any dear son would be, his wealth and position told in such a manner as to remind the present company of their good fortune. She mentioned Elizabeth's expected return to London and the possibility of Jane being soon disposed of in an equally advantageous marriage. Her hint that Mr Bingley should be lucky to count himself amongst Jane's suitors, was clear to all present. To spare the present company from more of her mother's remarks, Elizabeth asked of their neighbours, specifically if Charlotte had called on them. But her mother's gift at saying the silliest things was not to be underestimated. It did give Mary the opportunity to speak, the surprise on the faces of some, on Mary's intelligent assessment of country and city was plain and Elizabeth beamed with pride.

As her half an hour was drawing to a close Mrs Bennet seized the opportunity to promote the true aim of her visit. With military-like execution, Mr Bingley was convinced that the only way to Mrs Bennet's heart and that of her daughter was to throw a ball. Once assured of the possibility of such an event, Mrs Bennet left.

Mary had stayed behind and for that Elizabeth was grateful. With the appropriate changes made to her clothing, Elizabeth, her son and his nurse headed off for some adventure. A little behind the Netherfield ladies and Mr Darcy, Elizabeth set up her blanket and the necessary toys to keep him well entertained. After receiving all the pleasure he could derive from his wooden toys, Philip, encouraged by his mother and nurse, began his favourite running game.

Conscious that she was being watched by the returning party, Elizabeth prioritised dignity over speed and so could only watch as her son ran straight into Mr Darcy. Her heart stopped. In the millisecond it would take for that vital organ to restart, Elizabeth watched transfixed as her laughing son ended up in Mr Darcy's arms! Her shocked expression did not leave her face as the gentleman and her son returned to her. That was the first time she truly noticed his face, as he held her son in his arms.

"Mama, look!" Philip cried, pulling her out of her shock. Elizabeth watched as her son presented Mr Darcy as though he was a new toy and she smiled.

"I see introductions are in order," she said as she reached for her son. "Lord Rockwood, may I present Mr Darcy. Mr Darcy my son, the Earl of Rockwood." She hated introducing her son by his father's title, but for propriety's sake, she did so.

"My Lord, a pleasure." Mr Darcy's perfect bow to the small child could only further endear him to his mother. Unsure of their role in this scene, Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst remained silent. So, it was left to the small boy to disrupt that silence. Desiring to return to his game he indicated to his mother that he would like to be put down. With the excuse of attending to her son, Elizabeth left Mr Darcy and his company. However, she did look up in time to reward Mr Darcy with a shy smile of gratitude.

The rest of the day continued in such a sweet manner. Removed from under prying eyes, Elizabeth felt free to play with her son as she wanted to. His nurse, the newest member of her household staff, had learnt to ignore anything mother and son did that was not commonly seen amongst the peerage. So, the three of them joined in many merry – if not tiring – games.

One of her first duties as Mistress was the dismissal of the old nurse, and if it was done out of grief and anger, Elizabeth had yet to regret that decision. Once he was sufficiently tired out, they returned to her room to spend a quiet half hour reading before he left with her sister and she returned to her duties as Jane's nurse, with fresh stories of her son that would warm her sister's heart.

* * *

The rest of her stay at Netherfield afforded Elizabeth the opportunity to see Mr Darcy, if not in a clearer light, at least in warmer terms. He was kind to her son and if she did not quite understand him or his motives, he had that in his favour. After that day he had met them in the library as she read to Philip and he had not begrudged mother and son their quiet time.

It was on such a day, when Elizabeth read to her son as he sat in her arms, that Mr Darcy once again joined them. To her, it was clear that he missed her, and that her sister Mary was not as firm with him as she perhaps should have been. He was young and full of energy, so with the idea of calming his spirit, she read him some rhymes.

"Madam, I think you have lost your audience," Mr Darcy said as he gestured to the sleeping child.

Elizabeth laughed, "It seems my labours have produced some rewards." She smiled at her son. He was a handsome boy, but each day he lost more of his softness and became a child. Such sad thoughts made way for other sad memories.

 _Elizabeth tried to be gentle and quiet, but the heavy door would not obey. When the gap was big enough she went through head first._

 _"Beth, what are you doing here? You should be asleep; it is far too cold for you to be parading through the house." Her husband's disapproval was to be expected. But this time, she would not be handled._

 _"I am well guarded against the cold. In any case, it is your health I worry for."_

 _"It is my duty, you know this. Why must we discuss this now!"_

 _"I am aware that it is your duty. I rejoice that you are so willing to do your duty sir, but I am your wife and I wish to share your duties and indeed some of the burdens that should rightfully be mine." She walked around his large desk and turned his face to her. She loved his blue eyes but they were even now unyielding. "My dear, I should do more." Her voice was soft and pleading._

 _"You do enough." He placed his hand lovingly on her enlarging stomach. "Your duty is done Beth; these here fall to me." He tried to kiss her but she pulled back._

 _"There is more to a wife than to bear your heirs, sir." Her voice was sharper than was wise. "I can do more, you know that, do you not?" She tried to be soft._

 _He held his peace before he replied – but she knew he was not thinking about her words – his mind was made up. "You do enough, this is a time for growth Beth, for you, for Jane and for Mary. You are with child, much sooner than I had anticipated, and for that I am grateful. But we need not rush life. For the time being Mrs Kelly and I will handle what traditionally would have been the Mistress's duty and it is no burden. Your duties are to see to your health and that of our child. God willing we will have a son and he would be your focus for a time, other things can be dealt with at a later time." His condescending smile caused her to return to the armchair._

 _He was stubborn and for the first time, she realised just how stubborn. Their marriage thus far had been bliss, uninterrupted bliss. They had returned from their wedding trip, their tour of the continent, and settled in quite nicely. At first, she did not notice. Her sisters had joined her and Masters and lessons had been the order of the day. She delighted in the opportunity to improve herself, for she was not unaware that her previous education had been haphazard at best. But in time she did notice; the servants deferred to him, the basics of Mistress duties she was not doing, he planned the meals, or rather Mrs Kelly did and other such things. Initially, his response had seemed kind and reasonable. "She was new to her station in life and must learn first". "She was young and other things should take priority". They were all reasonable responses until they were not. Her greatest fear was that he did not trust her; to be Mistress of his estates and a proper wife to him. But to no avail were her attempts to understand and persuade him. So the lessons lost their joy, the parties and social affairs were attended, plagued with the knowledge that she played no part in their preparations - she had no role here._

 _"I wish to be your partner in this life." She wanted to feel needed by him._

 _"You are my partner but not my equal, Elizabeth." He saw her tears and so softened his tone. "We need not do this now. It is late and no doubt you are tired, I will escort you up." She went with him, and although she remained silent on the issue, her tears did not stop even when she laid her head on her pillows._

As her tears fell down her face, Elizabeth remembered herself. A quick glance told her that Mr Darcy was not so engrossed in his book and her tears were not unnoticed. Embarrassed, she stood with her son still in her arms and made her way out of the library.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Darcy had admitted his attraction to her, and if he was not quite in love with her, the seeds of love had been planted. Her stay at Netherfield was a time of such turbulent emotions, the likes of which he could not remember ever having gone through.

As he watched her throughout the week, he saw much to be impressed by. He saw her nurture her sister and son and in so doing, fulfil the primary roles he wanted for his wife. She would be a great sister to Georgiana and a great mother to their children.  
In his heart he knew he would offer for her; the doubts he had, of how she would be received, when weighed against the benefits received seemed inconsequential. Once decided, things seemed to affirm his decisions. Her son was a sweet boy but clearly spoilt by his mother and aunties, he was in need of a father and he would be honoured to step into that role. But her time at Netherfield showed more of her than just mother and sister; he could discern from the letters she wrote that there was an active involvement in the management of her son's estate. Though the particulars were not known to him, it spoke of her intelligence and superior accomplishments that she had, for the time being, stepped into that role. He had considered a little of what it would mean for him to manage both Pemberley and the other estate, but he imagined he was up to the task.

Mr Darcy was the sort of man who, once assured of a decision, saw no reason to waver from it. In his mind, the necessary steps to courtship, engagement and marriage were planned. As he had decided that her removal from Netherfield would ensure that propriety was upheld, he settled on waiting till then. Desiring to spend as much time in her company as possible, he had taken to meeting her and her son in the library. No interest was given to the books he read the second she began reading. Although, such intimate settings did mean his attention was just as scattered as her son's. It was a day like any other - once assured he was not disturbed, she began a book of rhymes. Her voice was gentle and warm so he was not surprised to notice her son had fallen asleep. What happened next would prove the age old words, "the best-laid plans of mice and men, go often askew". As he watched her lovingly stroke her son's dark curls, tears formed in her eyes. All would have been well if she had not been looking at him, looking so hurt and defeated.

She was not ready, and so he must wait.

As her carriage took her and her sister away, he hoped he would not have to wait long. The year of mourning was passed, but he knew all too well such things took their own time. So he postponed his plans. Her mother had revealed her return to London was imminent. In that, she would be proclaiming to all of London society that she was ready. He decided to wait and approach her then.

* * *

Elizabeth questioned the wisdom in attending her father's table tonight. He had received a letter from a distant cousin, and since father and daughter still delighted in follies and vices of others, an invitation had been sent to her – for Mr Collins promised to be ample source of amusement. Jane's health had steadily improved since her return from Netherfield and Mr Bennet had been grateful for the return of sensible conversations to his household. Elizabeth herself was happy to be away from there. After that afternoon in the library, the whole house was tainted by association. Her marriage had been a happy one, it was not perfect, but it was happy. It had been awhile since she had been plagued with memories of arguments and misunderstandings. Yes, Andrew was wrong in his desire to shelter her, but he had brought laughter and love to her life and she was eternally grateful. Determined to put such memories aside, her days had consisted of making new ones with her family.

So Elizabeth joined her sisters in the drawing room to await Mr Collins. Her introduction to Mr Collins, performed by her mother, was all that was ridiculous. An ingrained deference to rank meant that he should have met her with reverence, but on being advised that Lady Catherine de Bourgh did not look kindly upon Elizabeth's elevation to rank, his greeting was all that was pompous and condescending.

The Longbourn dining table was renowned. Whilst its reputation did not always instil the best of memories in Elizabeth, it was always home. The strong mahogany table had witnessed many fights, dinner parties and laughter. It still bore evidence of the carvings of a bored and slightly recalcitrant Elizabeth. The lavish meal it now patiently carried bore testimony to the message the lady of the house so desperately tried to relay to her unwanted guest. She had no reason to be intimidated by him, for there were no hedgerows in her future. Always sensitive of any slight to her daughter's status, and by extension her status, Mr Collins was met with surprising hostility.

"Lady Catherine is the daughter of an Earl I believe?" she said after Mr Collins' praises to his patroness and her daughter had come to a necessary conclusion.

"Yes, yes she is and very deserving of her station in life." His insinuation was clear.

"Ah, it is a pity then that she is only the wife of a baronet. She deprives her daughter a title and such a distinction in rank. For elevation in rank is the duty of us all." Such a witty remark was so unheard of from Mrs Bennet that several were stalled in their present action.

"Has she been presented at court? Miss de Bourgh that is?" Elizabeth asked after she had taken a sip of her wine.

"No, poor health has denied her that opportunity," Mr Collins replied, unsure of his authority in the room.

"More's the pity, for what is a country girl if she lacks in vigour," Mary chimed in, after a mischievous smile to her sister.

"She has a delicate constitution that is very becoming of a lady of her station." Mr Bennet's cough was all that was needed to remind Mr Collins that raised voices were not the established norm at the dinner table. Met with the quizzical brow of six offended ladies, Mr Collins had the good sense to remember himself. But as fitting retribution, he ensured that the only acceptable conversation was on the many ways in which Lady Catherine had benefited his life.

Determined that Mr Collins would not hold court in the drawing room, Lydia was quick to offer up the Militia station in Meryton as a more suitable topic for discussion. Although her actions were not in line with good manners, she was not scolded for it, as Mr Collins' silence was very much welcomed. In a rare show of sisterly unity, the girls maintained the conversation until the only available option for Mr Collins was to retreat to Mr Bennet's library.

The younger girls were quick to secure the approval of their elder sisters for a trip into Meryton, that they might make themselves known to the officers. So it was decided that after her morning duties, Elizabeth would join her sisters that they might all walk to Meryton.

Elizabeth was met by an enthusiastic Lydia. For her, excursions to town were usually under the watchful eye of Mrs Hopkins and so limited in enjoyment. With her sisters as her chaperones, the outing promised some harmless fun. Elizabeth's disappointment matched Lydia's excitement at being informed Mr Collins was to accompany them. Not unaware of the parson's objective at Longbourn, for he had alluded to it often enough, she was horrified to see evidence of his interest in her. It seemed his respect for elevated rank went only so far, and with the belief that such a union had the blessing of his noble patroness, Mr Collins was determined to show marked attention.

"Your son I believe is two years of age?" he began as soon as their journey had commenced.

"Yes, he is."

"Yes, at such an age he would be in need of a strong father figure and who better suited for the role – well I consider myself as the father to my congregation. Shepherd to lost sheep as it were." Elizabeth increased her pace but gave no reply. "It is Biblical for a young widow to set her sights to marriage, that she not be ensnared by the lust of the flesh." As this was met with a hard stare and no reply, the parson blushed. "It is unlikely that you will find favour amongst London society, and so cannot be expected to find another…"

"…I thank you, Mr Collins, for your counsel, but I hardly think it proper that we talk about such things, and since such counsel was unsolicited, I think it best that nothing is said about this issue." With that said Elizabeth fell back to join her sisters. Mr Collins seemed to consider what was to be done - after all, the situation did not go as planned. But he soldiered on, for he reasoned want of sense could always be found amongst the weaker vessels. With the necessary exceptions.

Watching her younger sisters run the rest of the way to town so that Kitty might introduce Lydia to some of the officers she was acquainted with, did much to improve Elizabeth's humour.

"I think we must prevail on papa to let Lydia come out once in a while if only to check her exuberance," she laughed.

"Is it your belief that her behaviour would be any different if she were out in society?" Mary replied with a slight frown.

"Perhaps you are right, and we had better join them before she earns herself a reputation before she is even out."

The ladies crossed the road to join their sisters with Mr Collins trailing behind. They arrived just in time for Mr Denny to make the necessary introductions to his companion, Mr Wickham.

Whilst the ladies were being charmed by the gentlemen, Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy arrived at the scene. It was then a strange occurrence took place. With nothing particular to hold her attention, Elizabeth was the first to notice the approaching gentlemen. She was the first to smile at them and receive their smiles in return. She was the only one to notice that Mr Darcy's attempt to alight from his horse was rapidly stalled by the presence of Mr Wickham. Her time at Netherfield had taught her that Mr Darcy should always be smiling. The contrast between his face when he smiled and when he did not smile was as distinct as day and night. From her position, she could discern the loss of the shy smile he sent her way and the transition from shock to hatred as he drew nearer. The gentleman halted, unsure of how to proceed as his friend approached Jane, then making sure to catch her eye he turned his horse and went as he came.

Elizabeth returned her attention to her party just in time to catch the embarrassment on Mr Wickham's face. Her interest was piqued, but with no satisfaction in sight, she turned her attention to watching Jane and Mr Bingley. Mr Bingley had come to inform them all of his upcoming ball and was paying particular attention to her sister. But, it was sad to see that Jane's guard was still up, coupled with her reserved nature Mr Bingley was left to carry the brunt of their conversation until such time as he noticed his friend's absence.

"Well, Jane, he is handsome. Though perhaps not as well looking as his friend. Mama says that your time would be better spent trying to catch Mr Darcy, although I have heard he is proud and disagreeable." It was rather a testimony to Mrs Hopkins' hard work that Lydia waited till the gentleman left before making such pronouncements, Elizabeth thought as Mary scolded the young girl. They continued their walk through town until they were called up by their Aunt Philips, as she made a very public invitation to the officers to return later.

After enduring Mr Collins and his marked attentions, coupled with Philip's fussing at not being allowed at the family table again, the events of the morning had quite escaped Elizabeth's mind. So she was a little put on her guard by the gentleman's obvious attempt to bring up the issue.

"Are you well acquainted with Mr Darcy, Lady Rockwood?" he said after having rejected the cards table in favour of her company.

"I can only claim a very slight acquaintance with the gentleman."

"Hmm, I am surprised to see he is not well received here."

"Really? I would think anyone well acquainted with him would know of his taciturn nature, such reserve is not likely to be well received in the small and unvarying society found in Meryton."

"You are quite right, I only meant that in most places his wealth and station make up for that which he lacks in character. But it is a credit to you and indeed your neighbours to be above such sycophancy."

She gave a small smile at such poor attempts at flattery. "It is no strange thing, we are such simple people here and being so far removed from London society we can afford to throw off such shackles."

He paused slightly, paying some small attention to other suitable topics such as the weather and the state of the roads before striding on to the topic Elizabeth was certain he had rehearsed. She listened to his tale of woe with the appropriate expressions that encouraged the gentleman, but she was not blind to the inconsistencies.

"I am shocked and grieved to hear such a tale, but it is curious. How could Mr Darcy legally reject his father's will…"

"…ah"

"For being a widow myself I am acquainted with such things and you are by no means without recourses."

"There was such an informality with the wording of the will…well an honourable man would not have doubted it but..." The perfectly arranged face of despair was his undoing. Her time at Netherfield had shown her Mr Darcy's attention to duty - he was an honourable man. More to the fact old Mr Darcy would never have left informalities in his will; if he was to match the character of the man Mr Wickham had just described.

She asked one more question to get a clear sketch of his character. "I am deeply saddened for your sake, Mr Wickham. But with your heart set on the church could you not have found a parsonage and parish elsewhere? Many I am sure would be moved by such a tale as to ensure you do not find doors closed to you."

"I am not formed for idleness or despair and I am satisfied to make my way in life. There is the added advantage that my choice in life has brought me to you and to such charming people." She held his gaze for slightly longer than was proper before looking at her hands, his smile did not disarm her. It took all of her willpower not to retaliate and ask "if he was not formed for idleness what had he been doing these five years?" but she had much to think upon and prudence demanded caution with this man.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The succession of rain gave Elizabeth some much-needed respite. A respite from her mother and Mr Collins. He had met her once again to speak of the added benefit marriage would be to her, as a cessation of many of her duties would be greatly welcomed he was sure. His insinuation that he was well-placed to manage Nettleham was too much of a test of her patience. He had reminded her of his connections to Lady Catherine and how great an advantage it would be to someone in her position to benefit from such superior wisdom.

As her son slept in her arms, she had the opportunity to think. The rain had not been good for him. Since both his parents thrived outdoors, it would have been a mistake for him to do any less. So she had provided him comfort in her arms whilst she worked.

Her conversation with Mr Wickham had ended on his assurance that he would not cower at Mr Darcy's presence and would accompany his fellow officers to Mr Bingley's ball. She knew how the event would play out, and if all went as she thought it would, her suspicions would be confirmed.

But the source of her contemplations was the whys. Why had he approached her? His tale was false to some degree, she had no doubt about it. But she had to wonder, was it her wealth and position that made him take his chances to curry her favour? Or, more troubling, were her manners in some way leaving her vulnerable?

With her entrance back into London society in the near future, her armour must be without chinks. For anything in her person to portray weakness was a luxury, she could not afford. She was proud that she could so easily spot his lies, but she knew enough of herself that in another life she might have believed him.

Truth be told, his resemblance to her brother-in-law was the smoking gun. She had seen her brother's attempts at flattery and she had trusted him once. The result had sent waves through her marriage. But he had every right to hate her, she had given birth to Philip, the heir, and so replaced him. But more than that; Andrew had deprived him of some of his portions. Their mother's dowry had been settled on Elizabeth and her sisters. Jane and Mary's dowry had come from the estate, so she understood his hatred.

But as she was beginning to feel the weight of her nearly three-year-old son, she knew she needed to arise from her office chair. Taking a few minutes more to smell his hair, she called for Laura and transferred her boy into her care.

Her sisters had joined her at Purvis Lodge on the day of the ball to spare her Mr Collins and to spare themselves of Lydia. The mistress's chamber had never seen such exuberance. Lucy had been dismissed after she worked her magic on Elizabeth's hair, so it was left to Kitty to finish the office of lady's maid. Her sisters had shared with her all that she had missed at their mother's house. Unwilling to neglect Mr Collins' olive branch, Mrs Bennet had spent her time trying to encourage his interest in Mary or Catherine. It had been comical at best and a nuisance at worse.

"I rather thought a parson would suit you quite well, Mary," Elizabeth joked with her sister.

"Perhaps, but this current parson's lack of good sense is too much to ignore. To give my life to such a man…well, in any case, I wish to marry for love." That last bit was said so timidly that the room was silent for a heartbeat before her sisters rushed to embrace her.

"As you should and will; if I have any say in the matter," Elizabeth said as she kissed her sister's cheeks. It was a relief to hear, for she had wondered how much of an influence her and Andrew's marriage had made in Mary's outlook on such affairs. Her sisters were their own people: Jane was still all that was good; Mary was still very pragmatic; Kitty was still very pliable and Lydia was still very young.

"Kitty, what were Papa's conditions for your attendance?"

"That I stand with one of my sisters when I am free from dancing, I must not exhibit any skill and in no way listen to mama."

"I am afraid he does not care much for Mr Collins," Jane said to absolve her father of any guilt.

"Perfect. You will be with me and together we shall take care of one another," Elizabeth said as she finished the last button of Kitty's dress.

She looked lovingly at her sisters. One of the many lessons her marriage had taught her; a woman's clothing was her arsenal. Men may wear the sword but a well-placed fan could be just as powerful. Once all their ammunitions were clipped and loaded they elegantly entered into Elizabeth's carriage. The ladies were to meet their parents at Netherfield and so spared a ride with Mr Collins. She was rather surprised that her father had not joined her sisters, but he must have weighed his ability to ignore Mr Collins in his house and the ability to ignore them in hers. His face on arrival was all she needed to indicate he regretted his choice.

Having shed herself of her outer garments, and narrowly escaping the advancing Mr Collins, she took Kitty's hand and went to greet their host and hostess. As she suspected, Mr Darcy was not in the receiving line. She needed to speak to him. There was more to Mr Wickham than a skilled liar and she needed to ensure that he was no more harm to the people of Meryton than the average soldier. Indulging Kitty's interest in officers, they headed in search of friends. Mr Denny informed her of Mr Wickham's absence, giving as his excuses - business in town and Mr Darcy's presence. All was confirmed. Before she went any further Mr Lucas asked for her hand for the first set, Kitty went with Mr Denny to join the line and Jane stood up with Mr Bingley.

She proved to be a poor partner, for much of her attention was taken up with watching Mary and Mr Collins. His attempt at dancing would have been comical if it was not her baby sister he led in the dance. Once the two sets were over, she rushed to Mary's side. She had resolved to do something to bring her some relief and so put herself in the line of fire. She was grateful that, at that time, Mr Darcy chose to put himself forward and ask her hand for the next set. Her warm smile of gratitude was extended to Mr Lucas as he also asked for Mary's hand. Safe from Mr Collins and determined to remove herself from the line of fire, she took Mary's hand and went in search of Kitty. They arrived just in time to watch her shy blush as Mr Denny kissed her hand.

"I see you have been enjoying yourself, whilst we were in the front line and receiving heavy fire. For shame!" Elizabeth said as Mary released a rare giggle.

"Oh Lizzy, it's not how it looked. We talked about his aspirations for his career and I was merely giving some encouragements."

"You can rest assured we will not hold that against you. After all, you were doing your duty to King and country. You should be very proud!" Mary's sharp wit earned her a smack on the wrist from Kitty's fan.

Elizabeth's laughter was interrupted by the approaching gentlemen to claim the sisters' hands. Filled with overflowing mirth, Elizabeth could ignore the silence of her partner for two movements.

"We must have some conversation, Mr Darcy," she said, her voice still filled with amusement.

"I think it admirable that you put yourself in danger for your sister's sake."

She was surprised that he had caught onto their little game. "Well, it may be hard to believe, but some ladies are honour bound to help the weakest first." She smiled elegantly.

"I have no trouble believing you are a lady of honour." His intensity caused them to lapse into silence once more.

After some time, she introduced her topic of interest. "I am sure you are not unaware that my sister and I have been introduced to Mr Wickham." His hold on her hand tightened. "I will not insult either of us by laying before you the charges he brought against you. But I do ask, is he a danger to the people of Meryton?" He remained silent as his face went through a whole mural of emotions.

Shocked at a glimpse of that which the gentleman tried to hide from the world, she allowed the silence until he said, "I am not surprised that you saw through his lies, it is a credit to you. As to the gentleman, I see no evidence of a reformed man and therefore I imagine he would continue in his shameful ways. But I expect that his Colonel should prevent things from getting too far."

"With all due respect sir, the far and near are relative. Before he is cautioned by his Colonel, some debauchery would have to have taken place. I imagine the people of Meryton can ill afford such a thing. Would it not be better that they are warned off him by someone intimately acquainted with the gentleman's ways?" He just stared at her in silence, the longer he did so the angrier she got. "It would be the honourable thing to do." She said trying another tactic. Her first mistake was to question his honour, her second was to stop speaking.

"I will thank you, madam, not to question my honour, I see no reason to open up private matters for the ridicule of the society here." His voice was stern enough to draw the attention of those around them. Sir William had the good sense to keep from approaching the couple, who gave no impression of being cordial to one another. The crash was so loud it was almost real. In her confusion Elizabeth said nothing. When had she placed the man before her on a pedestal for him to fall from? When had Mr Darcy earned her good opinion, that she should be disappointed at the loss of it? Her look of strong disappointment stilled any explanation he would have offered. Too angry to speak, Elizabeth was happy for the rest of the dance to continue in silence.

The rest of the night was tainted because of her disappointment. Knowing it meant her sitting out the rest of the night, Elizabeth rejected Mr Collins' petition to dance. Her time was better spent ignoring her mother and watching over her sisters. Kitty was in full enjoyment of the ball; with such popularity with the officers and local men, she was not without a partner for the night. Mary was in a similar position but she did occasionally opt to sit out with Elizabeth. As for Jane, the night had been a turning point for her and Mr Bingley. Resolved not to punish the gentleman for the sins of his sisters, she gave him as much encouragement as her nature allowed her. On finally being the recipient of such warmth, Mr Bingley spent more time with her than propriety would dictate.

On the few times her path crossed with Mr Collins, she was surprised to see him well tended to by Charlotte. Knowing what her friend was about, as soon as she was able to, Elizabeth took her friend's hand and showed her that she did not disapprove. If Mr Collins played his cards right, he was now in line to fulfil his patroness's demand.

When the call to dinner arrived, Elizabeth realised that she was seated next to the two individuals she was determined to ignore. Mrs Bennet had held court all night. Her faithful companions had heard her many predictions for the future. Proving that she was not formed for ill-humour, she both reconciled herself to and belaboured Jane and Mr Bingley's upcoming wedding. Her friends heard of Mr Collins' impending proposal to one of her daughters, though she was not sure which, but it mattered not, her future was secure. As the meal progressed, she gave continued commentary on each of Mr Bingley's actions towards Jane. Grateful that the rest of her family showed more sense, Elizabeth allowed her mother to crow.

"Elizabeth herself is very artful I dare say, taking her chances with Mr Darcy…"

"…Mama!" Elizabeth was sure her flush of embarrassment reached her toes, as Mr Darcy finally looked at her.

"Oh, Lizzy! You need not be offended. It is a credit to you, as I always say what you set your mind to you do. You caught yourself a Lord after all." Elizabeth would forever be grateful for her father. Who on seeing her distress, had a quiet word with his wife. Her mother's silence was a short respite from the ridiculousness found in two members of her family.

When some entertainment was called for, some of the ladies put themselves forward. Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst impressed very few with sounds better suited for a London drawing room than Hertfordshire. But when Mary sat down to play, such a hauntingly beautiful piece, even Mr Bennet's look of pride was not feigned. The ovation Mary received on quitting the instrument was enough to intimidate the other young ladies present. With that, the musical portion of the evening was called to an end. Mr Collins seized upon the opportunity to entertain in the brief moment of quiet as Mary gracefully declined to remain at the instrument.

Determined to be ridiculous he burst forth with a soliloquy that touched on all the topics in is very narrow mind. His patroness was, of course, praised, and the room turned to an embarrassed Mr Darcy as he was also praised for the accident at birth that made him nephew to Lady Catherine de Bourgh. A look of mischief remained on Elizabeth's face until Mr Collins talked about her current single state. His confused audience received the official words on marriage as though it was manna from heaven. Such rhetoric continued until such time as the host of the evening could get a few words edgewise and free his disturbed guests. "Such an intelligent man." Mrs Bennet said as the other guests all but ran out of the drawing room to the ballroom. That was the icing of the night.

As the musicians received their final applause for the evening, Elizabeth was grateful for the freedom that meant she had no reason to wait for her family's carriage. Word had reached Mr Bennet that his lady intended on delaying the arrival of their carriage but he was swift to remind her that her only companion would be Mr Collins, as he and his daughters would ride with Elizabeth. It was a relief to see that her fondness for Mr Collins did not extend so far as to want to be his sole companion in such an enclosed space. And so the Bennets were amongst the first to leave Netherfield that night.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Elizabeth was an early riser and the day after the Netherfield ball was no different. She would, later on, be grateful for the quiet time she was able to have that morning, for the rest of her day would be thrown into such unprecedented turmoil. She had considered the possibility that she would receive an offer of marriage from Mr Collins but had dismissed it. She had shown no interest in the gentleman, nothing in her mannerism could have been considered as encouragement and with Charlotte's attentions to him, it was just not possible.

So, to say that she was shocked when Jackson informed her of Mr Collins' presence and his request for an audience with her would be an understatement. But she received him, into her home, desiring to get any unpleasantness out of the way as quickly as possible.

She met him in her drawing room and after he rejected the offer of some refreshment she gave him free rein of the conversation. But for once in his life, he remained silent for half a minute.

"Lady Rockwood you are, I am sure, aware of why I am here," he said once he found his voice or some courage. She kept her peace for he needed no encouragement. "For the duration of our acquaintance, I have accepted the solemn duty of pressing upon you the necessity of a young lady, such as yourself, to return to the marriage state as quickly as propriety will allow. Though subtle in my approach, my marked attentions have not been without good intentions. I can now say that it is within my power to restore some respectability to your status; respectability that was brought into question when you married above your station. My offer is a humble one, but I believe it is the duty of well-meaning Christian people to humble themselves. You may be assured that as my wife you will be respected; this assurance I give from the mouth of Lady Catherine de Bourgh. It had always been my intention to offer for you. If I found the reports of your beauty to be a true testimony. So I come humbly before you asking for your hand in marriage." Some afterthought prompted the gentleman to add, "you may be assured that the benefits of our marriage will not only be felt by you. Indeed, I believe your beauty and vitality would add greatly to my happiness."

Elizabeth waited before she spoke. She was grateful that she and her sisters would never be under the authority of this man. This assessment of her current reality made it possible for her to answer him with more patience and goodness than he deserved.

"Mr Collins, I am sensible of the office you have undertaken since you arrived in Hertfordshire, but let me be rightly understood. I reject your humble application for my hand and you would do well to heed my next words very closely. Any request you make for the hand of any of my sisters would be met with similar opposition. For the sake of your dignity and all our dignities, I employ you to consider your next actions very carefully." That the gentleman did not fully understand her words she could comprehend. His mouth opened and closed several times as he tried to digest all that she had said.

"Well! I have never been so insulted in my life," he said once he understood that he was rejected. "Pride, madam is your failing. Do not imagine me ignorant of your current position. Your late husband had no relatives but a disgraced brother, I am told. You, madam, will do well to consider the initial scandal at your marriage. Do you imagine you will be received with anything but scorn? Which, your recent actions show you rightly deserve. With no respectable person to vouch for you, where will you be then?"

"That is quite enough sir." Standing, she called the attention of the footman stationed outside the door. "I am sure you need no assistance finding your way out." Proving his poor footing was not limited to the dance floor, Mr Collins stumbled on a few furnishings before making his way out.

All she could do was laugh as she found herself alone. Rushing to the nearest window she watched as her father's carriage drove away. She did not want to imagine the conversation that ensued on his request for the carriage. She hoped for Charlotte's sake that Mr Collins would not heed her insinuation that he should apply for her friend. Mr Collins had revealed a slightly spiteful side of his character by his response to her words. The things he said were calculated to hurt her, and they would have had they not been groundless. She had enough protection to face London society.

Desiring to be present if he should offer for any of her sisters, Elizabeth called for her carriage. She left Philip behind because she was entering into a madhouse and saw no reason for him to come along with her.

* * *

Utter chaos awaited her. She was met at the door by all her sisters and as Jane pulled her into the garden, each of them fell over the other to tell her all that had happened that morning.

"Mr Collins had come in high and mighty as can be and all but demanded the carriage from Mama. I was still eating my rolls! It was most undignified." Lydia led the way; she was enjoying this.

"He was rather polite actually," Jane tried to say, but all four of her sisters stared at Jane with raised eyebrows. They had all learnt that from Elizabeth.

"Considering the time of day, politeness could hardly be attributed to him," Mary said.

"Yes, most undignified. In any case, Mama was not pleased and she demanded to know what he intended to do with the carriage."

"It was hardly a demand," Kitty said and received a pinch for her insubordination.

"Like I said, Mama demanded to know what he was about. He mumbled some nonsense about asking out of courtesy."

"Yes, it was rather rude of him to suggest that as Longbourn was to be his he need not ask. You can imagine how Mama took that!"

"Kitty, I am telling the story; keep your breath to cool your porridge. So, where was I? Mama called for Papa who said he was afraid he needed to know what Mr Collins' plans were, as the horses may be needed on the farm. Which is impossible, as we have enough horses to fill all of Hertfordshire. In any case, that was when he told us that he intended to call on you, Lizzy. You could not imagine Mama's shock if you tried. She sat down, called for Hill and Papa started to laugh. Not like he always does, a real laugh. Anyway, by the time Mama had calmed he had left and that was when the real trouble began. She turned on Mary and Kitty the moment she came to and did not let up until Mr Collins returned with such a scowl that could shame the devil."

"Yes, Mama was very unpleasant," Jane said as they reached the bench. "But it was the stress of the day, I am sure. How was Mr Collins when he arrived at your house, Lizzy?"

"Rather calm; considering what he had left." She joined her sister on the bench. "He proposed marriage to me, I refused and threatened to have him thrown out."

"Good Lord! He was not violent, was he?"

"No. Nothing like that. He was just rude."

"Well, what more should he expect. I hope I am married and well settled by the time he should inherit, he would be insufferable to live with." Lydia's concern touched her heart, that her sister should think marriage was her only recourse to avoid Mr Collins caused her to feel ashamed. Then she remembered that Lydia was still Lydia.

"For marriage will be your only hope. I most certainly cannot afford to take you all in." She quipped and Lydia laughed.

"Well, we need not consider such things anytime soon," Mary said.

"What do you think he would do next?" Lydia asked.

"I see Charlotte!" Kitty waved her over before she could enter the lane that led to the front door. Determined not to be interrupted this time, Lydia launched forth into the morning's tale. Elizabeth watched her friend's face as she received the information. She knew her friend was in line and well placed to be the next mistress of Longbourn. She considered how much she should tell her friend of her own specific encounter with Mr Collins, but remembering that Charlotte would want to know as little of his defects she kept her peace.

Her marriage had pushed her relationship with Charlotte until it was strained. Unable to confide in her in times of difficulties, only perfunctory letters had passed between them. Widowhood had done much to heal the breach, as Charlotte was there without being asked, so Elizabeth owed it to her to not make the necessary decision her friend had to make any harder. Despite all that had happened between them, she did not think Mr Collins could be violent and she was confident that her friend could handle such a ridiculous man.

With Mrs Hopkins calling for Lydia's attention, the ladies made their way back inside hoping for some restoration of peace.

"Well, I am sure you will all now seek refuge in Lizzy's house and leave me to deal with Mama," Lydia said as she turned back to her sisters. Master manipulator that she was, Elizabeth was not surprised that her sister could say such a thing. She had had years to perfect her skills on Mama and Kitty. But her statement did highlight how of late they had been leaving her out of things, especially with Kitty now out in society.

"Should any of my sisters need it, refuge can always be found at Purvis Lodge, why else do you think I chose a house that Mama disapproved of?" All but Jane laughed.

As it turned out, all five Bennet girls would need refuge that night, and the only thing that stopped Mr Bennet from seeking sanctuary, for himself, was as he said, "someone had to ensure Mrs Bennet did not kill Mr Collins."

Impossible as it was to believe, the house was in greater chaos than when all five girls had left it. A letter had arrived for Jane from Miss Bingley during their absence and Mrs Bennet had opened it. Mr Bingley had left; there would be no wedding. Upon her arrival, Jane was met with criticism from her mother, the likes of which she had not seen since she grew into her ears and her golden locks lost their curls. Drawn out of his library by the Armageddon occurring in his home, Mr Bennet poured fuel onto the flames by trying to remind his wife that she had thought Jane too beautiful for the capricious Mr Bingley. In his defence, he had good intentions, but his words not only paved the way to hell, they unleashed it.

Mrs Bennet's outcry was such that even Lydia was embarrassed. When she was no longer coherent she allowed Mrs Hill to help her to her room, allowing Charlotte and an appalled Mr Collins to leave Longbourn together. Elizabeth was glad that this show of ill-breeding had inadvertently protected her sisters, though she was not sure her mother would be pleased to find out that she alone was to blame for the loss of two suitors.

The ladies were gladly welcomed home by a very enthusiastic Philip. Unused to the absence of his mother and his aunties, he had asked of them hourly. Such a report on entering the house went a long way in lifting their spirits.

As the ladies settled in the drawing room after dinner, Elizabeth sought to break Jane's silence. "What are your thoughts on Mr Bingley's absence, Jane?"

"I thought you did not care for him?" Lydia asked innocently.

"Oh, it is all so confusing! I feel as if I could care for him, but I have come to greatly value all my sisters. Would his be an exception? I am distraught to be the cause of my mother's grief, but these things need not be rushed."

"Jane, Mama is the source of her own grief," Elizabeth said as she moved nearer to her sister.

"As to his absence, if he has no more interest in me than a passing fancy, I bear him no ill will. It only proves that I was right to be guarded."

"What about his character puts you on guard? For I think it must be more than just his sisters?" Mary asked, closing the book she was reading to her nephew. He for once did not complain at the loss of attention, looking quite as interested in Jane's response as if he was following the conversation.

Jane got up and walked the length of the rather small drawing room. Lifting an ornament, probably knocked down by Mr Collins she turned to all five pairs of eyes and said, "one of the many things I learnt from Andrew is to be valued for more than my beauty. The truth is I did not reject John, I could not bring myself to do it and so Andrew did it for me. Afterwards, we talked and so I was able to reject subsequent proposals that were not right. I have gambled with spinsterhood and I just feel that when it is time for me to choose, I want it to be the right choice."

"Janie!" Philip said breaking the silence in the room.

"Aunt Jane." Elizabeth and Mary corrected at the same time. But they were ignored, as Jane rushed to her nephew picked him up and covered him with kisses.

"Whilst I would hate to be yet unmarried by your age, I hardly think you can be called a spinster, Jane. Charlotte Lucas, on the other hand, is another story." Lydia's words earned her a pinch from Kitty.

"Lydia is right. It is appropriate that you wait to choose. Marriage is not a thing to enter into lightly, Lydia." Mary responded.

"Oh, how you sermonise."

"I think it is high time the children were put to bed," Elizabeth said with a pointed look at Lydia.

Lydia was still herself, and though she enjoyed this rare opportunity spent in the company of all her sisters she was not prone to deep reflection, and so accepted Elizabeth's word on the lateness of the hour.

When word reached them of Charlotte's engagement to Mr Collins, the next day, Jane was the first to consider consoling their mother. So the rest of them piled into Elizabeth's carriage, accepting martyrdom for the sake of showing affection to a mother they loved despite everything.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Elizabeth was relieved to receive a favourable reply to her letter to Michael. The turmoil of the days succeeding Mr Collins' failed and accepted proposals had pushed from her mind the problem that Mr Wickham created. Something in Mr Darcy's face informed her that Mr Wickham did pose a danger to the people of Meryton and its surroundings, so she had taken steps. As part of her duties in the morning after the ball, she had written to Michael requesting the help of a Bow Street Runner or a thief-taker - anyone who could do the job of surveillance. She had also asked Henry, Mr Davis's son, to keep an eye out. Andrew had always said the young man was the best hunter he had ever known, for he could track the devil himself and go undetected. What he had to report was worrying. The gentleman, in the little time he had been here, had accumulated 20 pounds in credit. Those debts she had collected. There were rumours of debts of honour and Henry had reported of some dalliance with the Inn's upstairs maid. In his letter, Michael praised her ingenuity and had sent a young man just recently discharged from the army for injuries. He was to be expected the next day.

With her thoughts on Mr Wickham, they naturally turned to Mr Darcy. She did not know how to feel on hearing of his departure. A week later, she was still disappointed in his actions at Netherfield. Since the incident, she had returned to her previous opinion of him. He was abominably proud and dismissive of the people of Hertfordshire.

She was glad that an invitation to her mother's tea had coincided with the arrival of Mr Martin Lewis. Mr Lewis was a tall and intimidating man. He would have remained so even without scars running from his right temple and into the collar of his shirt. During a brief conversation with him, he told her that the damages to his right side had resulted in him being ineffective as a soldier, and his appearance made him unsuitable for servant's work. After negotiating pay, she had told him of her plan to orchestrate an outing to the gardens that she might make Mr Wickham known to him. Whilst she remained in Hertfordshire, Henry would make an obvious show of watching the gentleman, to bring him to heel, and Mr Lewis would covertly watch him. When she left for London, Henry would leave with her and Mr Lewis would stay behind. She informed him that if she was pleased with his work he may be assured of a more permanent role in her household staff.

The afternoon proved to be abysmal. A week was not sufficient time for Mrs Bennet to recover from her shock. Her determination to show herself as being unaffected by recent events, per her husband's suggestion, had been largely unsuccessful.

The party was a mirage of entertainment by the young people, interspersed with insults levied on all her children in one form or another. Jane was a spinster, Elizabeth selfish, Mary foolish and Kitty inconsequential. So, an excursion to the garden needed no orchestrating. It was suggested by Mr Denny, who collected Kitty and one by one the young people followed suit, leaving the hens to their tea. On collecting her outerwear, Elizabeth called for Henry to accompany them.

She had noticed Mr Wickham's attempts to gain her attention throughout the afternoon and had strategically placed herself so that she might politely ignore him. When he raised an eyebrow at the presence of the accompanying footman, she said nothing but collected the arm he offered. By his design, they ended up a safe distance from the rest of the party.

"I hope Lady Rockwood you are not angry with me for my absence at Netherfield? I was told that my presence was missed." He gave a pleasing smile. "It was my desire to avoid embarrassing anyone and I could not trust my self-control, in Mr Darcy's presence, not to exchange a few sharp words." He stopped to stare at her face, so she pulled back, letting go of his arm. He seemed to hold his breath as she contemplated her words. As she opened her mouth to speak she saw the beginning of what would have been a smirk and so she widened the gap between them.

"Let us not deceive ourselves, Mr Wickham, I am not a fool." The smirk turned into a scowl. "I will be brief. I have in my possession a receipt for 20 pounds owed by one Mr George Wickham. I am sure more can be collected if I went searching. It is in your best interest that I do not go searching, Mr Wickham." His jaw clenched and Henry stepped forward. "For the duration of your stay here, you will be that upstanding gentleman that you so easily portray. You do that and no one need ever know of this unpleasant business. It is not in your best interest that I collect more than twenty pounds in Meryton. Mr Davis here will be my eyes where you are concerned. Any distasteful business will result in the immediate calling in of your debt to me. The level of my displeasure will determine how far I search for more of your debts. The ladies in this county are to be your sisters unless you make one of them your wife. I am not unreasonable Mr Wickham, your options are to quit the Militia and leave Meryton or be a gentleman."

He took a hard look at Mr Davis, then turning to their returning company. "Madam, I see that you have been speaking to Mr Darcy."

Her laughter was hollow, "we both know Mr Darcy is too proud to speak to me." He must have seen the truth in her eyes for he relented. "I will make your excuses to my mother." He turned and left, for the first time feeling the despair of the ladies he hunted.

She gave a nod to both Henry and Mr Lewis as they both went about their mutual task. When Elizabeth was alone, Mary came and linked arms with her as she asked, "is it done?"

When the opportunity arose, she told Mary of her suspicions with regards to Mr Wickham. Unsurprisingly, neither of them could think of how to share the news with Jane. When next she heard of Mr Wickham he was said to be courting, with the greatest respect to propriety, Miss King.

* * *

With such unpleasant business out of the way and with her mother's nerves calming down, Elizabeth could finally turn her attentions to the upcoming Christmas festivities. She was excited; her dear Aunt and Uncle, Mr and Mrs Gardiner, would be staying with her at Purvis Lodge. It had been decided that such an arrangement allowed the children to play with exuberance, without inciting Mrs Bennet's nerves.

With fresh ears to complain to, Mrs Bennet was in her element. But as the time also signalled the advent of Elizabeth's return to London society, Mrs Bennet had found it in her heart to forgive her daughters. They were charged not to return to Hertfordshire without suitable conquests. Mr Bingley was completely out of the question with regards to Jane and Mary must put herself forward or be sent home.

As they watched their children play, Elizabeth told her aunt of all that had occurred since they last spoke. Elizabeth wrote frequently, but with all that had happened in the space of a month, clarification was requested and given. They talked of all that had been planned for her and her sisters' presentation at court, Mrs Gardiner was glad that some of Elizabeth's friends had remained loyal.

Andrew had loved her aunt and uncle. Although he had been very reserved at first (he was sensible of the differences in their station), but for her sake, he had come to measure them against the merits of their character. She was happy when he came to respect her uncle as a man of business and was glad to see that it was not just for her sake that he engaged in their company. Her aunt and uncle had never sought for what they could gain by their acquaintance and so allowed him to get to know them on his terms.

Her aunt had proved to be invaluable to Elizabeth during her marriage - she had been her niece's first confidante when problems had arisen. It was the sage advice of her aunt that kept her from dwelling in perpetual discontent. Her aunt was the first person she wrote to on Philip's birth and the first person to receive word of Andrew's death. Elizabeth despised the rules that meant her aunt would be excluded from her society, but she recognised that it would be too much to ask of Lady Julia, and the Gardiners were not established enough to warrant admittances into the first circles.

There had been some time to conference with Mr Bennet. As the exodus to town drew nearer, Mr Bennet had tried to insist that his presence would not be needed for his daughters. But Elizabeth was firm, his presence would ensure that Jane and Mary could not be challenged on their lineage. The added weight of the Gardiners and Mary's persuasions caused him to relent. He would accompany his daughters, but he would return as soon as they had curtseyed to the Queen.

Christmas was wonderful. Everyone was looking forward to Elizabeth's move into London society except Elizabeth. Jane and Mary considered the renewal of friendships they had formed in South Yorkshire, for they were still in active correspondence with some. Kitty looked forward to when it might be her opportunity and Lydia looked forward to a time when she would have just her mother to persuade. Mrs Bennet had never liked Mrs Hopkins and was more likely to go against her than her daughter. But Elizabeth could enjoy the time with family, for she felt a change coming.

On the fifth day of the new year, after Philip had been put to bed, Elizabeth made her way through the house that had served her so well. It was her anchor at a time when she had felt the floors beneath her feet give way. But no matter what happened from now on, this would likely be the last time she would call it home. She was set to meet her travelling companions tomorrow at Longbourn to make her final goodbyes. More servants from Nettleham had been sent to the townhouse, and truth be told she was rather nervous. She would finally be a true mistress to them, and she knew she had not made a good impression the last time she saw them.

It was bittersweet when she finally laid her head to rest.

 _Elizabeth knew she was dreaming. Although she was in her carriage, the tell-tale sign that she was dreaming was the beautiful little girl who sat across from her. What was striking about the girl was how much she resembled her. Elizabeth watched the little girl as she played with the ribbons on her dress, twisting it round and round her little finger. More sensible of her surroundings, she could hear Philip talking about horses to her right. She turned to her boy and was surprised to see how much older he looked; he was truly his father's son. She turned her attention back to the girl, was she her daughter? Was this the life she could have had?_

 _"Philly don't do that! Mama look!" Transfixed at the young girl's voice, she was slow to turn to looked to see what her son was doing that had earned his sister's disapproval. He had opened the carriage window and his hands were hanging out of it._

 _"Philip stop that!" That was not her voice. As she turned to see who was rebuking her son, Elizabeth woke up._

She would not remember her dream later on in the morning. But as she returned to her sleep, she thought, 'it was not Andrew's voice'.

All her preparations had paid off. So when Elizabeth entered into the carriage with her son, her sisters and her father, she felt ready for the unknown.


	11. Chapter 11

Volume 2

Chapter 11

Elizabeth's relief, on their safe arrival to London, was too great to put into words. Her son had tested her patience, and that of everyone in the carriage. Even sweet Jane had physically restrained his hands twice. As they moved closer to Park Lane, Elizabeth thought she just might be able to bear the separation for him to ride with his nurse.

Any thoughts of more necessary discipline were pushed to the side for her to appreciate the white blanket the snow laid on the surrounding street. Her son needed no encouragement to press his face against the glass. There would be plenty of time to enjoy the snow, she assured her son as they climbed out on Grosvenor-street.

It took a few days for the family to get settled in and Elizabeth was grateful for the servants she had taken with her to Purvis Lodge. She could tell that their trust and acceptance of her did much to grant her favour in the eyes of those at Rockwood House.

She had received a note from Lady Julia that all but summoned her to the lady's house. If she was not a dear friend and her sponsor into society, Elizabeth would have been offended. But knowing it was not in the lady's nature to mince words, Elizabeth presented herself for questioning three days after arriving in London.

The house intimidated her, which Elizabeth always thought was rather strange, for she was not intimidated by the Lady of the house. But as she made her way up the stairs her heart beat faster. She recalled the first time she had climbed these stairs.

 _They had been married a week. But as she climbed these stairs, she realised who she had married. He squeezed her hand, "Your courage rises up at any attempt to intimidate you, does it not?" She straightened her back and smiled at him with so much love it was a separate entity. He had been honest with her, society did not approve of them. His friends were sceptical and so withheld their support until they knew her. He had told her that only two people in his life would support him irrespective of who she was, Lady Foster and Lord Durham. The Lady had requested an audience with them, and yet somehow they went to her. But Andrew had assured her that she was the only person alive he would do so much for, he did have the good sense to caveat that statement to include her._

 _The inside of the house did not calm Elizabeth. The house was all that was gauche and pompous. If the house was any reflection of the Lady, Elizabeth doubted they would get on. This added to her stress, for she would hate to oppose someone who had earned the love and respect of her husband. Initially, when he had talked so much about the Lady, Elizabeth had been worried. But she had no reason to be, the Lady was much older than her husband and her son was a friend of her husband. But she was a matron of society, and if she would support Elizabeth for her husband's sake, then she would be grateful._

 _Her stress tripled when Andrew informed her that he would leave her to it, "she will want to meet you alone." He said as he kissed her hand right in front of the servant. "Beth, you are my choice. That is all that matters." She stroked his cheek, then followed the offended butler._

 _Her first impression of the short and petite woman she was announced to was how harmless she looked. The Lady's hard stare soon disposed of that notion. Belatedly she noticed that with Andrew gone there was no one to introduce her, but since the Lady was still staring, she assumed propriety had no place here._

 _"I know this is all rather odd. If your husband was not your husband, I would join society in condemning your marriage. It would be expected of me to do so. Society hates social climbers, they do not know you, and so you are unworthy of your husband's title. Andrew tells me you intend to change that."_

 _"Lady Foster if my husband was not my husband, I would not know you. I was the daughter of a modest country gentleman, that was all I knew, and I was not unhappy." Elizabeth was not sure if the small lady before her would be won over by impertinent remarks, but as she had free reign to be herself, she could reply in no other way. When the lady said nothing, she continued, "I did not marry Andrew because he is an Earl, but because he is the best man I know. Many wives, I am sure, would say that. With my status now elevated I have more reason to think so, I know. But I could not change that fact, any more than I could have helped being born to a modest country gentleman." She was glad her voice was strong._

 _"You are not beautiful. Pretty, yes, but not beautiful."_

 _"I know that, Lady Foster. But luckily for me, it was not a prerequisite for marriage." The lady smiled._

 _"Call me Lady Julia, I reserve Lady Foster for those I hate and who hate me in return." Elizabeth raised her eyebrow at such an odd statement. Then focused all her energy on ensuring that her stance did not waver on realising that she had earned the lady's favour. She was glad Andrew was not here, for she had done it all by herself. A servant was called for, refreshments were ordered and her husband's presence was requested._

 _"Do take a seat." Elizabeth's knees did wobble then, but her dignity remained intact as she sat down._

 _"Ah – I see my wife meets your approval, Julia," Andrew said on entering the room and seating by her._

 _"Yes she does, but then you knew she would or else you would not have allowed her to come alone." Lady Julia said as she poured the tea._

 _"I could not resist an opportunity to show her off. Should I formally introduce her to you?" he laughed when he saw two arched eyebrows, one from each lady._

 _"So it is left to me to clean up your mess."_

 _"I am my own man; I marry where I choose. In any case, I hardly see my wife as my mess."_

 _"That was not the mess I referred to. By all means, marry where you choose. But did you have to do so secretly? That fanned the flames and created this mess."_

 _"Secretly? Our marriage was witnessed by over 100 people, the banns were read at Beth's family church, I see no secret here."_

 _"You are not a simpleton, Andrew. You excluded society from your courtship. You did not seek their approval whilst courting, yet you expect it whilst married. They are not at your beck and call."_

 _"Not my beck and call. But certain principle people of society can change the story. We married for love, society loves to love that."_

 _"And if I refuse you?"_

 _"You do not have it in you to refuse me."_

 _"I may yet surprise you. I imagine you do not intend to give me enough time to work miracles."_

 _"We are off on a wedding trip in a week."_

 _"I do hope you manage to cure him of his need to control all things." She said to a watchful Elizabeth. "What if I was unable to help in so short a time?"_

 _"You can do so much more in less time; we both know this." The lady smiled._

Of course, Andrew was right. She did far more in far less time. In two days they were the foolish young couple who married for love, and by the time they left for their wedding trip some young ladies cried at the story of the orphaned young man finally having a family.

She knew her withdrawal from Nettleham had caused some damages, how much, was yet to be seen. But she was not thinking when she had called for her carriage and left her husband's estate. It took two months for her to start thinking, and by then the benefits outweighed the loss.

She was shown into the drawing room that she had first met the lady, nothing had changed.

Further acquaintance with Lady Julia proved her house did not represent her, but her husband. It broke Elizabeth's heart to hear the tales of Lord Foster, for the first five years of the lady's marriage, had been spent living with her husband's mistress on his estate. Lord Foster, it turned out was an admirer of His Grace the Duke of Devonshire. But the lady was not to be pitied. When she realised that society's pity had no currency, she traded on her virtues alone. She was strong because she had no other choice and so became respected for it.

The lady asked no questions and Elizabeth was grateful. As soon as she arrived, they talked only about the plans for her re-entrance into society. Lady Julia had worked hard for her and not wanting to seem ungrateful, Elizabeth opposed nothing. On further reflection, she would question the wisdom of her silence. It had begun to feel as though the next six months of her life was planned by someone else.

Exhausted after that one meeting it would take another three days for Elizabeth to open up her home to Lord and Lady Durham. Lord Durham greeted her with more enthusiasm than was proper, but they were kindred souls. Both of them were willing to throw off the shackles of society when good sense demanded it. Amelia was not like Michael, and as they both watched him greet his godson, Elizabeth felt her friend was less than pleased to see them.

That thought was pushed aside. As Lady Durham told of all that had occurred in their circle of friends, during Elizabeth and her sisters' absence.

Amelia was all that one would expect from a lady of quality. She had the flaxen hair and slender limbs that were all the rage in society. She was the picture of the ideal daughter and perfect wife, and at six and twenty years she had been married twice. On both occasions to wealthy and connected men, that increased her parents standing in society. Society's standards were of great importance to her and Elizabeth was sure she would not have had Amelia's support if she had married any other Earl. But Elizabeth did not have it in herself to judge her friend too harshly. Amelia rarely spoke of her first marriage. But what she did say was telling. Her only comment was on how lucky she felt that her parents had chosen a young and mild-mannered man, the second time around. So as she passed on society's gossips, Elizabeth listened with no judgement.

If Elizabeth was prone to much philosophical thinking, she would have found much interest in the construct of time. From the second her feet stepped on the paved streets of London to the day just after her curtsy to the queen, time had been on a perpetual fast forward. The last event of her life where time was a fickle construct was in the first two months after her husband's death.

When news of his accident had reached her, there was no dramatic fainting, nor loud exclamation. She had merely stood from her seat in the green room, where she was entertaining her sisters. But that action of rising from her seat felt like it took days, time slowed down till every action was a conscious one, including breathing. But after the men had buried him and she had returned to her father's house, time refused to move. Each morning she would wake. She would ask Jane the same question, receive the same reply and then time would stop. This happened for a month before a sobbing Jane restarted time.

But whilst her life had been thrown into a whirlwind of social engagements after social engagements, that altered the passage of time. Elsewhere in the world time went on as normal. Her father would be leaving her today to return to Hertfordshire. As promised, Lydia with the help of her mother had altered the order of their family life. Although Mr Bennet complained at the chaos he was to return too, Elizabeth knew he was glad to return to his life of a modest country gentleman. He had served his purpose, his presence had added some respectability to Jane and Mary's status and Lady Julia had done her magic to boost that respectability. The time spent in London had provided some benefits for him and by extension Longbourn, there were still a few respectable age mates who remembered Oxford University's chess champion and so for a while, her father had held his own. He had discussed with some of his new acquaintances about some improvements that could be made to his land, and on his return to his home, Elizabeth was eighty-five percent sure he would act upon the discussion.

News of Lydia terrorising Mrs. Hopkins had not been the only developments that had taken place in Hertfordshire. Charlotte had married one cold and sunny morning. Elizabeth was sad to miss her friend's wedding but the assured presence of Mr Collins coupled with her duties in town had made her attendance an impossibility. But Charlotte was content, if not happy, with her choice. A curious friendship had arisen between Lydia and Maria Lucas, and the young lady had begged for Charlotte to include her new friend on their Easter trip. But such a trip had been rejected on two ends; Mr Bennet's return home would put an end to the social engagements Lydia had attended without strictly being out in society, and Mr Collins had said, most emphatically, he did not want that hoyden in his home.

Elizabeth had received two letters from Mr Lewis. The first had highlighted some minor flaws in their master plan. The damages to Mr Lewis's right side extended to his hand, and so the first letter was almost illegible, and the second had informed her of the cessation of Mr Wickham's courtship to Miss King. There was some suggestion of his attentions being paid to a new young lady, but Elizabeth could not quite make out what was said on the issue.

Mr Wickham had not been able to continue to fully toe the line. With Mr Davis's absence, he had slowly begun to collect debts. Elizabeth had expected this, but since the gentleman ensured that it was never too large an amount, Elizabeth was content to let the matter slide. She knew threats, could not cure a man of the vices he had accumulated in a lifetime. But Hertfordshire was no more in danger from Mr Wickham than the average soldier and she was happy with what she had accomplished.

Kitty had not been forgotten and since she had put up a valiant effort to curb her mother and her sister, Mr Bennet had promised her a trip into town some time over the summer. All things being equal, Elizabeth would return to Nettleham when the rest of society orchestrated that great exodus, and Kitty would accompany her.

By the end of the week and after her father had made his escape, Elizabeth was to host her first big social event, a ball. Even as she got ready for the day, she could feel the energy of the house as it awoke from its long slumber. No ball had been thrown at Rockwood House since Andrew's mother's death. Elizabeth was honoured and relieved that her ball was well received by the principle people she knew. Unlike the last ball to be thrown at Nettleham, she was well pleased. Every detail, right down to the uniform of her footmen, were of her choosing. Mary had executed the role of Lord of the house perfectly. Since Mr Bennet had simply taken his grandson and barricaded himself in the library. It was left to Mary to assuage Elizabeth when she boiled too close to the surface.

After his last meal at her table, Mr Bennet took his leave. He went with many presents for his wife and Kitty, Lydia's presents were more tools to bring her into submission. With the final farewells said, Elizabeth rushed in to see what could be done before the ladies came to call. She had not neglected her duties to Nettleham, and the estate's losses due to damages caused by the weather were becoming problematic. The rain had come and caused its damages, it had let up only to make way for the snow which caused its damages, and undid some of the repairs that had been made. The fear was that the land would not be made ready in time for planting and harvesting, because of all the hours spent in a futile effort to battle with nature. But the sounds came that would draw her from her duties as the master and to her duties as the mistress.

Her presentation and that of her sisters were all the conversation to be had that morning. Truth be told Elizabeth could add nothing to the: style of her dress, the beauty of her sisters or the look on the queen's face. It had gone well; she had had that assurance from Lady Julia when it was done but she could remember nothing tangible, just her heightened emotions. So she latched onto her sisters' responses and made them her own. The ladies were somewhat satisfied when their guests had left. Lady Julia had informed her that there was still whispers amongst society, and the lady wanted silence. So how she comported herself until the last day of the season would be watched and judged. This was no news to her, but she did occasionally wonder if it was worth it to gain the approval of people she could not even respect. But, she pushed such selfish ideas aside and thought of her sisters and her son. She would ensure, where humanly possible, that no doors would be closed to them because of an accident at birth.

The night of the ball came and went. Everything was above reproach. The white soup was praised, the musicians were delightful and when all three sisters performed, not even the sternest critic said a word. Elizabeth was finally Lady Rockwood.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Elizabeth wished she could replace her feet as easily as she replaced her slippers. Her social engagements had not slowed down, she was expected to attend and be seen by all. By the middle of March, she was tired of it all. But the season had just begun and it would be many months before she could return to the country. The busyness of her schedule made time spent with her boy, all the more precious. Mindful that she must be above reproach even in her conduct with her son, most of their adventures occurred at home. The garden in London was bigger than most could boast, and the end of winter was signified by their greater presence outside. She, along with her sisters had begun teaching the boy some of his letters and numbers. He was also expected to spend some time during the day practising quiet activities. But they all enjoyed when they could travel from the fashionable parts of London to visit the Gardiners. Elizabeth sighed even louder. Tonight was Lady Durham's ball and she knew what to expect. The same faces, the same gossip and the same expectations. As she looked at the faces of her sisters, she promised them that next year would not be as turbulent. Though neither of them complained, they were just as tired.

Jane had attracted some suitors, but none had impressed her and so none of them had received much encouragement. One of them, Mr Stanley, the eldest son of a Baron was quite persistent. He was the type of man Elizabeth could admire, but Jane's reluctant told something of the state of her heart and that it might not be Jane's to give. They had yet to see Mr Bingley, which was expected, as they moved in different circles. The sister had made no attempts to renew the acquaintances, judging that it was best not to be on familiar terms with Miss Bingley. They had concluded that if they should meet, and the gentleman was willing to renew his attentions, then so be it. But there was no sense, or dignity, in chasing them all over London.

Mary had received no obvious attention, years of seeing herself as the least beautiful of the Bennet girls could not be undone by a few years and pretty clothing. So, Elizabeth was patient with her sister. All that was expected of Mary was to enjoy the night as best she could, and entertain when called to. In London, Mary could not be called the most accomplished on the pianoforte. But her diligent practice was being rewarded, and when she played a country tune it instilled awe, not contempt.

They had arrived early enough to please their hostess and were quickly drawn into their circle of friends.

"Stick close to me, Lady Rockwood. There is a person I am most desirous to have you acquainted with." Lady Durham said after welcoming her friend. Elizabeth succeeded in not rolling her eyes. Lady Durham had joined and almost spearheaded the campaign to find Elizabeth a suitor during the season. A part of Elizabeth recognised that this was more than just the boredom of her friend, but could not pinpoint the reason behind her friend's interest in her state of singleness. She had found no one that interested her, and though she appreciated the sense in marrying, she was resolute. If she could not marry for love, the second time, she would not marry where all of her interests were not suited.

As more guests arrived Elizabeth felt as though she was back in Hertfordshire. Sure, the people were better dressed but the same peacocks and hens circled the ball. Some looking to crow at their neighbours, and others desperate to be seen. It was truly a blight on the elegance of London society if this was the best it could offer. Elizabeth tried to reject such thoughts, after all, she was expected to be one of them. When her friend finally came to collect her, she had a headache coming along.

"The gentleman I desire to make known to you is very prestigious. His late father was England's ambassador to France and so you have no cause to say I do not take care of you." She said as she linked arms with her and they excused themselves.

"Lord Kinsley, may I present my dear friend, the Countess of Rockwood. Lady Rockwood, His Grace The Duke of Kinsley."

"Madam, a pleasure. Lady Durham has spoken very highly of you." He said as he took her hand. As he bowed to kiss it, all she could think of, was that his curls were too blonde for such a stern gentleman."

"My Lord Duke, I thank you, though I think Lady Durham can be too kind in her praise."

"Perhaps, but does that not give one a goal, to be so highly thought of is merely a challenge. In my opinion." A slight curtsy was her only response.

"I understand from Lady Durham you have an appreciation for frank speech."

"Not at the expense of a pleasant conversation." She said, unsure of what to make of him. When he asked her hand for the first set, she received a little clarity. She had to be careful; the attention she received from society was always extended to any of her dance partners. They were scrutinised as potential suitors. But the majority of them were second sons, who saw her power over her son's estate as their meal ticket. Those who were not seeking her wealth or position made it clear that their plans for her future, would not suit her. She always ensured there was no second dance, with any of them. She had her reputation and that of her sisters to consider.

A quick survey showed that both of her sisters were paired up for the first dance, and so she was content with Lord Kinsley.

He was frank in his speech, she could credit him with that much. Like most, he asked of Nettleham and her management of it. He, like most assumed it was miss-managed, so he showed a little surprise on evidence that that was not the case. When she was finally given an opening to talk about another topic, he turned stern. He proclaimed he did not have authority to speak on poetry, plays or even life in France. It seemed he refused to speak where he was not assured of having the greatest authority to anyone in the world. So they fell into silence.

When their set was complete, he excused himself to get refreshments she had not requested and she was grateful to be rid of him. Amelia was first to reach her.

"I am sure you are very pleased. His interest is kindled and you cannot expect to do better than a duke." Amelia's pointed stare reveal to her what society must think. Her lack of interest in any suitor must look like ambitions to catch the biggest fish. In their mind, she was unshakeably a social climber. But Amelia knew her, so what was behind that look. Elizabeth's chance to ponder that was disrupted by the return of Lord Kinsley with the unordered drink. She had hoped that was merely his form of excusing himself from her presence. But he returned, so, between the three of them some conversation was maintained. On his departing their little group, he requested the supper set. Unable to refuse, she acquiesced. Amelia's excitement and Elizabeth inquisition into her friend's actions were stalled by Lord Durham's approach. Having danced the first set with his wife, he requested Elizabeth's hand for the second set.

"You look beautiful tonight, Lady Rockwood." He opened with when they started their dance.

"You are most kind, my Lord. I am sure I look more tired than beautiful."

"You have never responded well to compliments, even from Andrew, if I remember correctly."

"Well according to His Grace, Lord Kingsley, it is that I am better suited to frank speech."

"Well if that be the case, I would have to say I am troubled by reports from Nettleham."

"I am aware of the problems at the estate. But I have very little sway over the weather, so you will have to bear with me." Her voice was a little defensive. "I was not aware that you still received reports from Mr Miller."

"You may retract your talons. We are Northerners, your problems are likely to be my problems. My words were certainly not a criticism. As to my receiving reports, it is right and proper to do so. After all, I am responsible for the management of my godson's estate. In any case, our stewards talk." His charming smile calmed her.

"Well, I do hope you know that you need not get your reports from such covert means. I would certainly not withhold anything from you."

"And I would offer my assistance in a heartbeat if I was convinced you will accept it." His gaze held hers and it caused her some slight discomfort.

"Well if unconditional help is what you are offering, then I will take your steward, Mr Smith." He laughed, drawing some attention.

"I would first give you my head, for I can lay down my pride and say Mr Smith is of more use to my estate than I could ever be."

"Well, in that case, you can keep your head and your Mr Smith."

"I thank you, madam for such mercies, you are as kind as you are beautiful."

Their dance continued with such jovial conversation and her spirits were so high afterwards she almost missed him. For, standing before her was John. Her brother.

"Lady Rockwood." He said as he bowed slightly. She had wondered when they would meet. But as she attended the respectable events of society, she was not surprised that they had yet to. "How is Philip?" He said quietly, determined to be civil it would seem.

"He is well, and quite grown since you last saw him."

"If you would let me see him…"

"We reside at Rockwood House, sir. If you wanted to see your nephew you need only knock. I doubt Jackson, however, loyal he is to me, would bar you from your childhood home." She said interrupting him. "Do not place your guilt on me, your absence from your nephew's life is of your choosing."

"You blame me for Andrew's death. I know you do."

She looked upon him with compassion that shamed him. "You are wrong. That again is guilt formed by your hands." She excused herself. She had meant it; she did not blame him. Andrew was a rider. He rode when walking would suffice. The fact that he was riding after his wayward brother the day of the accident was as significant as the fact that the sun was shining. She had hoped John would be a support, if not for her, then for his nephew. But the truth was their relationship deteriorated before it began.

 _Her impressions of John were formed before she had even met him. Of the little Andrew could be induced to say about his brother, Elizabeth determined that he was the spoilt second son. Unwilling to seek out employment, because his older brother was willing to foot the bill for all his escapades, he lived a life of idleness. He had been giving a handsome settlement on his father's passing and had spent his way through it._

 _When she did finally meet him, her shock was great. He was not the picture of overindulgence she expected. In looks he was a younger version of her husband, and so could be called handsome. But where her husband's eyes were blue, his were a dark brown and so caused a striking difference to their appearance. He had kept her at a distance; until he did not._

 _That day, he had come forth from her husband's study upset. That day, she had exited that room in a similar manner._

 _"He can be stubborn, can he not?" What possessed her to open up her private affairs to a man she knew she could not trust, she still wondered. But she had spoken and so the floodgates opened. The troubles in her marriage, that which she had told only her aunt, were told to his disgruntled brother. He encouraged her, so she spoke. If she desired to be kind to herself, she could say it was an opportunity to gain a relationship with her brother. A relationship born out of solidarity. If she was true to herself, she betrayed her husband that day. She would, later on, wonder with all she had told him, he did not tell her what her husband did that earned his disapproval. But she would find out later on._

 _Elizabeth was proud to say she had only disappointed her husband once in their short marriage. But Elizabeth hated that she knew the look of disappointment on her husband's face. He had called her to his office, a strange occurrence for he always came to her. Her heart sunk to the sole of her feet when she entered. Of all her beliefs about his estimation of her abilities, an ingrained knowledge of him assured her that he was always proud of her. Proud of his choice. He did not always show it, and she believed some of his actions contradicted that. But she knew, deep down inside, that he had never been disappointed with her. She accepted that fact when she saw his disappointment._

 _The weight of his disappointment was too heavy to bear, so she responded with justification and a defence. "I said nothing that was not true." He did not need to tell her why he called her, his face said it all._

 _His hand slammed on the table, "that is not the point! You are my wife! There are expectations! Our private affairs should not be the topic of the drawing room gossip!"_

 _"He is hardly a stranger, no matter how much you treat him like so."_

 _"Don't be so naïve, Beth! You are not a fool!"_

 _"You treat neither your wife nor your brother with the respect they deserve!"_

 _"My wife and my brother need to earn my respect!"_

 _They had never shouted at one another, the more he did so, the more she fought. "Is this what I am to expect. Will I one day be a nuisance to be kept to the side? Only brought out for breeding purposes like some broodmare." Her voice cracked a little and that stopped him. He walked towards her and she flinched slightly. He was ashamed of himself. Ashamed that he had raised his voice, so, she allowed him to place his hands around her. His embrace was not tight; he was mindful of her stomach._

 _"I am so sorry Beth, forgive me." He said on and on, stroking all of her body that his hands could reach. He pulled away slightly, the disappointment was gone, so she let him kiss her. He begged for forgiveness with that kiss. He reassured her of his love with that kiss. So she accepted him with that kiss._

 _When tempers were cooled. He brought her round the table to be seated at his desk._

 _"This was why he was so angry." He produced some papers detailing that the portion of his mother's dowry, that had been set aside for a girl child that never came, was settled on her and her sisters as dowry. Split in three ways, neither of them could be called heiresses, but it was very sufficient. She cried. "He expected me to settle some of it on you, but not on your sisters. He has to understand I have others in my family I must think off." He said as he wiped her tears. "You are not my broodmare, Beth. I would be a fool to see you like that. In time you will never doubt just how much I value you." She said nothing because nothing was needed. With the assurance that he thought of all of their futures, she was finally content to follow her aunt's advice. After all, she was not formed for discontentment._

She turned to see him leave and resolved to forget him, for now, but she was worried. If guilt was his demon, then she had failed both of them. For she knew that grief and guilt were two cruel slave masters. With his nature and his vices, carrying the guilt of his brother's death could kill him. She owed to Andrew and her son, to prevent that if she could.

The ball continued on as normal. She danced the third set with Jane's Mr Stanley and he was charm personified. He had a strong character, and Elizabeth thought that might be of greater use than a merely amiable character. But she gave him neither encouragements nor discouragements with regards to her sister, though he had looked for some. But the both of them were content to speak of some the similarities between their families' estate. By the time their dance came to an end, she knew she would be happy to call him her brother. But it was too soon for such commendations, so she determined to get to know him better, if he remained persistent he his pursuit of her sister.

Elizabeth had enjoyed herself, despite her earlier judgement. So by the time her hand was collected by Lord Kingsley, her spirits were renewed. A silence dwelt amongst them, and although it did not speak of companionship it was not an awkward sort of silence. They had drawn some attention, she doubted whether His Grace was seen much in society, and she could imagine the whispers at their dancing a second time. But she had other things to concern herself with. She had the distinct impression the His Grace was serious in his pursuit of her. His request to call on her on the next day could only instil trepidation in her. So, the thoughts of how she should go about refusing the advances of a duke plagued her mind for the rest of the evening.

As her sisters declared the night a successful one, Elizabeth told of all that had happened. Her encounter with John and the Duke's marked attentions.

"Is he a sensible man?" Mary asked.

"I could not say. He is certainly not a verbose sort of man."

"Well, it is good that he seeks a more private meeting to declare himself. If he means to declare himself that is."

"It is a strange world we live in, that there could be any talk of a declaration of anything after one meeting and two dances. I think it rather makes a mockery of love at first sight. If that should be his claim."

The sisters spent some time in the early hours of the morning debating what His Grace would do, and what should be done. All three of them, at various points in the conversation, had decided nothing could be done but wait and see. So they left to get some form of sleep before the sun screamed for them to arise for the day.

Lord Kingsley did call. He was welcomed by Elizabeth who performed the introductions to her sisters. When she had signalled to the servant for refreshment to be brought, the room lapsed into silence. Twice Jane opened her mouth as though to speak and then shut it. It was all too strange. Tea was brought in and partaken of before His Grace requested for a private word with Elizabeth. Mary made a show of ensuring that the door was opened before she left.

"Madam I appreciate the strangeness of all of this. If I was a man who made eloquent speeches, I could perhaps ease the situation. But as you know I prefer frank words and I ask your permission, to be frank." On receiving her permission, he got up and walked towards the window, he made a show of looking out but then returned to her. He did not regain his seat.

"Madam it is my intentions to offer for you today if it would be well received. If a courtship is preferable for propriety sake, I would be willing to concede to that, but I would see no reason to wait unduly. If I am well received." Elizabeth's shocked countenance was sufficient encouragement to continue. "I will withhold nothing from you, my estate is in dire need of money. It was my intentions to seek out the dowry of a suitable young lady, but on being told of how well managed your late husband's estate has been, I saw no harm in approaching you first. Truth be told, I have no need for a fresh-faced debutante, and the whispers of your desire for elevation in rank told me that we might be well suited to one another." He said no more; awaiting some encouragement from her.

She could not laugh this time around; he was a Duke, not some bumbling parson. "Your Grace I thank you for the offer you have presented to me, but I am afraid I must decline it. The portion settled to me would by no means meet your expectations, and I fear we will be both be disappointed. I thank you, Sir, for the honour bestowed upon me." He said nothing for some time, and Elizabeth worried that there was no way she could have avoided making a powerful enemy.

"I thank you, madam, for your frank speech." He had a small smile on his face as he excused himself.

Elizabeth could finally breathe as Jane returned, she had not been far. After giving her sister some time to compose herself Jane asked, "what did His Grace want?"

"He proposed marriage to me." Jane's shock was eclipsed by the servant announcing Lady Durham.

"I am so glad to be the first to congratulate you, my dear." She said on catching Elizabeth's response. "He would do very well for you." She said proudly as she sat by Elizabeth.

"I refused him." Elizabeth almost laughed as Amelia jumped right out of the chair.

"You did what? Elizabeth, if you intend to reject every proposal that comes your way, you had better return to Meryton and do so there. What utter folly!" With that said she left just as unexpectedly as she came.

"What is Lady Durham about?" Mary said entering just as the lady left.

"I doubt if even she knows," Elizabeth replied as Jane told Mary of the Duke's proposal. Elizabeth contemplated her friend. She had gotten the sense that her friend had a vested interest in her relationship with Lord Kingsley, she had certainly praised him enough when they had met at her ball. Yet to be so sure of Elizabeth's reply was so unlike her, she now had to wonder just what her friend had said of her to Lord Kingsley. Could Amelia be the source of the whispers of her desire for elevated rank?

"Was the proposal as bad as Mr Collins'?" Mary's voice drew her out of her contemplations.

"No, not quite. But he spoke of more of a business transaction than a marriage. It would seem my management of my son's estate counts in my favour whilst I am yet unmarried. But I would be expected to give it up as soon as I enter that blessed state." This was said with the bitterness of two failed proposals.

The rest of the day went on as normal. The ladies received a few callers and Elizabeth spent some time with her son and they dined with the Gardiners in the evening. They had made a habit of seeing their aunt and uncle when it was possible. The Gardiners did not desire to use their nieces as their ticket into the first circle, they were content in their station in life and would rise on their merits alone. But they were happy to receive news and information as it came, and supported or protected where they could.

Elizabeth's surprise could not have been greater on receiving an invitation to tea from Lady Durham the next day. After their little spat, she had expected some days to go by before being welcomed back into the fold. Giving the carriage to her sisters and Philip, as they had been invited to their aunt Gardiner for the afternoon. Elizabeth, appropriately accompanied, walked the short distance to Durham house. When she was shown into the blue room, a family room, she relaxed.

The tea was ordered and given some attention before her hostess spoke, "I am sorry my dear, I had my expectations. In any case, Durham informed me that His Grace is practically penniless, and such an alliance would not be in Philip's interest." Elizabeth assured her friend that she was not offended. "You are intending to marry, are you not?"

"I have been told, more times than I care to remember, that it is the only avenue for a young widow."

"Not the only avenue." Her friend almost whispered. "But it is the only one that brings the most respectability."

"Quite so."

"Well, I called you here to ask you to accompany me to Mrs. Turners little soirée. When she was Miss Margaret Linsey, she was my closest friend, though untitled she was heir to a vast fortune. She could have been a duchess if she wanted. But gave that up to be the wife of a man only just removed from trade. All because of love, I am told. Why people are so desperate to use love to excuse the impropriety of marrying beneath them, I will never understand." Elizabeth was sure her friend knew she just slighted her late husband. "She has become society's pet, but I owe it to my childhood memories to attend."

"Yes, I received an invitation. If it is important to you, we will accept."

"Lady Foster will not attend. I doubt many from the first circle will attend. Though I am told the Matlocks have accepted, Mrs. Turner has some acquaintance with their daughter, so we can expect them. If they do attend, I will be glad to perform the introductions. I know Lady Foster has been desirous to do so."

"Why do you insist on calling her Lady Foster? You know that makes you her enemy." Elizabeth said with a smile.

"Oh! Why does she dishonour her husband by casting off his name? It is not done! Just because he is a nuisance. All men are a nuisance, should that cost them their name!"

"I hardly think Michael a fool," Elizabeth said with levity.

"You are not his wife!" Amelia jumped out of her seat and walked to the window. "You do not know what he is." She said to the glass.

"Amelia, what is the matter?" Elizabeth tried to put her hand on her friend's shoulder, but it was brushed off.

Amelia turned to look at her. She returned to her seat and waited until Elizabeth did likewise before she began. "I have suffered some disappointments. I always do." Her voice was heavy. "Six years I was married to Lord Layton before he died and I produce no living issue. Not even a girl."

Elizabeth tried to take her friend's hand but was rejected. "You were six and ten when you married. Still a girl."

"You were eight and ten. Do you know what I am called? When they think I do not hear? Lady Durham, the barren Countess. Very witty of them. Now I have been married for two years and all I give him are disappointments. He will tire of me. He already has." She said finally meeting her friend's eyes.

Elizabeth knew there was no comfort she could give that would be accepted by her friend; so she said nothing.

"Oh this is ridiculous!" she said wiping away tears. "My misfortunes should not be the topic of conversation. I will appreciate your presence and that of your sisters. If you can spare the time."

Elizabeth smiled. "We will see you then."

Both of them tried to resurrect some jovial topic of conversation, but neither was successful. So when Elizabeth left, she left with a heavy heart. Elizabeth had never paid much attention to Lord and Lady Durham's marriage and had never any reason to suppose them unhappy. She did worry about her friend; many marriages had been ruined by the lady not doing her "duty". But Michael was a kind man, she could not suspect him of being cruel to his wife for failures that could not be helped. With such a revelation, Elizabeth felt she knew her friend better and so she prayed harder for her that night.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Lady Durham was over compensating. Elizabeth could tell this of her friend. Though she was always immaculately dressed, her apparel told of the fact that she did not want to seem as vulnerable as recent events had made her. She was amazed at her friend's fortitude and strength. Elizabeth did not want to imagine the type of strength that would be required to face society, again and again, to be held in contempt, to be judged on such a personal thing and to be found wanting. It was too much. She would say nothing about Amelia's issue, not even to her sisters. They had both decided to act as though the issue was not known to Elizabeth, for Amelia did not want to be pitied.

Mrs Turner was all that could be expected from a lady of quality. Equally immaculately dressed, she held herself with all the poise and grace of a queen. But, when she looked upon the face of her husband, she had that look upon her. Elizabeth hoped she would not find herself disillusioned. For love does, indeed, cover a multitude of sins. But where that love is one sided, or in any way unequal, those covers soon peel back and can leave an individual so bereft. She pushed aside such sad thoughts to greet her host and hostess.

Amelia was right, although everyone bore evidence of having more money than they knew what to do with, many were not known to her. Except, to her great surprise, the Bingleys. All three of them saw them at the same time, so there was no chance to prepare Jane. All four of them were present, though Mr Hurst's decidedly bored expression did not speak much of his attendance to his surroundings. He, no doubt, looked forward to the eating and gaming portion of the evening. When Mr Bingley saw them he approached them, his smiles and exclamation of delight were all that was to be expected of the gentleman. He apologised profusely of his absence, informing them that after his business was completed in London, he had to away to Liverpool to see to some business there. By the time he got back, he was persuaded to spend the holiday in London and then persuaded to spend some of the season in town. Though the events were not as Miss Bingley had relayed in her letter, all Mr Bingley could be accused of was being too easily persuaded. This did not endear him to either of Jane's sisters, but they had both decided to leave the decision up to Jane and so discreetly left the couple to discuss all that had occurred in each other's absence. It was left to them to inform Lady Durham of all they knew of the Bingleys. Miss Bingley and her sister were quick to approach them. The pleasantries were discussed, common acquaintances asked of and then they made a request to be known to Lady Durham. That Amelia was disturbed by their grasping, was plain to see, but she was civil in all her responses to them. But as quickly as she was able to, Amelia orchestrated an exit from their company.

It was whilst they were making their circuit of the room, that their host approached them. "Ladies may I beg your indulgences? My friend here has informed me that he is so desirous to be made known to you all." The gentleman in question was rather handsome, with such a mop of unruly dark curls that it brought Philip to her mind. He was not a tall gentleman, but his appearance suited her suspicions of his character. Here was a man who would never desire to offend anyone, she thought. After Lady Durham condescended to allow it, the introductions were accomplished. He was Mr Barker. Thinking she was his primary interest in seeking an introduction, Elizabeth led the way in getting better acquainted with the gentleman. She was soon shown the errors in her thinking. His slow disinterest in her line of questionings and his sly glances at her sister, caused Elizabeth to orchestrate some mean to break their group up.

"For shame Elizabeth, and here I thought you were above matchmaking," Amelia said as she was led away.

She laughed. "Indeed I am; I just know when my presence is not needed."

"Well from what I hear of Mr Barker, I am not sure you did your sister a good service."

"Why would you say that? What is said of the gentleman?"

"If my memory serves correctly, he was involved in some scandal. It is said he blackmailed a gentleman at some point."

"How is that possible? Would he still be accepted into society, if such a thing were true?"

"Well, it was all rumours. But I do believe the circumstances were that a gentleman owed a debt of honour, I think the man in question might have been a duke. Well, it is rumoured that Mr Barker asked as payment for the debt, that his sister was presented into society by someone known to the duke. For you know they are only two generations removed from trade, and so she would not have had such a good sponsor if her brother had not orchestrated it. It worked out quite well for the young lady. She married far above her station, and in her first season."

"Well it is within the gentleman's right to seek satisfaction in whatever way he chooses, and his intentions must disarm reproof. In any case, I see no reason to charge upon them and I am content to let them be, they are charmingly paired." They both turned to look at the couple in question. Who it appeared, had managed to sustain some conversation.

"Well, it might well be a good match for Mary. He his rich and she is too plain to do any better." Though not said maliciously, Elizabeth still took a firm hand on her friend's arm and led her away. She wondered that her friend could still judge another in such a shallow manner. But that was the way of things. To judge, ridicule and hold in contempt, were the bread and butter of society. It was sad to think that if Amelia's current misfortunes were felt by another, her friend might be just as quick to pass judgement. All because she did not know better.

The Matlocks finally arrived, well two of them came, and Lady Durham proudly made the introductions. The family had been amongst those who Lady Julia had desired Elizabeth meet and charm from the start of the season. But like all those who could afford to, they had remained in the country till winter was truly over and the season was at its peak before they arrived. She was introduced to Colonel Fitzwilliam and Lady Charlotte, the younger son and daughter. It was suggested, that such an event was not elite enough for the older members of the family.

"I have wanted to make your acquaintance for some time now, Lady Rockwood. I have heard such wonderful things about you. This may surprise you, but we share a mutual acquaintance." Colonel Fitzwilliam said as they moved away from their company.

"Mr Darcy" She replied then blushed, she should not have known the gentleman's first name, and she could not quite remember where she first heard it.

"Yes, my cousin is where I first heard a favourable report about you." With the biggest smile on his face, he said, "madam I would also like to thank you, for the great service you rendered."

"Service, sir?"

"Yes, you could not have known the effects of your words to my cousin on the matter of another mutual acquaintance. I do believe he said that it was equivalent to being called out by a gentleman, and he was greatly humbled by your words. So I thank you, for taking him to task. You see, the grip Mr Wickham has on my cousin is very great. Although he is a man who pays strict attention to duty and honour, where Mr Wickham is concerned, what is right always seems out of reach. I have known Mr Wickham for as long as my cousin has. He may not have told you, but the three of us grew up together. We played together, entered the same mischief and shared the spoils of our childish adventures together. Darcy and I witness Mr Wickham give himself over to a reprobate lifestyle and were both equally betrayed by him. But for Darcy it was different, when the time for action came, he could not step aside. I have been more than willing to handle the situation and would have if he had allowed it." From the Colonel's face, Elizabeth could tell he would not have handled the situation as gently as she had. "What has been done? For I cannot imagine you being idle, madam. If my cousin is to be believed."

Elizabeth wondered what Mr Darcy had said about her. She was a little surprised to hear that it had been favourable. But she set such thinking aside to tell the Colonel all that had been done. When she had finished her narration, the gentleman looked so much in awe of her it caused her to blush.

"Madam, if I could prostrate myself before you I would do so right now. You are truly all Darcy said and more. I thank you, madam, for stepping up where we gentlemen have failed to do so. It is a comfort to know that Mr Wickham has finally been checked."

"Well as you can imagine sir, it is by no means a perfect solution."

"It is more than enough for now. As he is now a serviceman, it might be within my powers to offer a more permanent solution. I am sure my cousin would desire to know what has been done, may I have your permission to share the details with him. " After a little thought, she agreed, but she rejected the offer for him to buy Mr Wickham's debts from her. She rather liked the idea of holding that man in a vice and not needing to seek permission should action be necessary. "Darcy had hoped to attend the season from its inception, however, business at his estate has prevented him thus far. I am sure when he comes he would endeavour to renew his acquaintance and he will, I am sure, want to extend his personal gratitude for all you have done." She inclined her head and assured the gentleman that gratitude was not needed

"What are the both of you whispering about so secretly? At one time I feared you would propose, brother?" Lady Charlotte Fitzwilliam said on approaching them. Elizabeth did notice that they had moved quite away from their party. She did not miss Amelia's raised eyebrow, no doubt her friend would see intrigue where there was none.

"No secret, Lottie, Lady Rockwood and I were speaking of our dear cousin, Darcy."

"And that inspired such a look of adoration?" she said with great amusement. "So, Lady Rockwood what were your first thoughts of Mr Darcy."

"That he was the proudest most disagreeable man in the world." She replied before she could check herself, as she was about to sink into her embarrassment for poor manners, the siblings looked at one another and laughed.

"Yes Darcy, without fail, always insights that impression in anyone with some understanding of their own self-worth." She looked over at Elizabeth and they both at the same time determined to be friends.

"He does improve on better acquaintance, does he not?" The Colonel asked with a significant look in his eyes.

"Yes he does, but only if he deigns to determine you worth the trouble."

"Ah – yes, condescension is a great Fitzwilliam trait."

"But you two seem without such familial trait."

"The luxuries of being the second son and daughter, we can throw off such attributes that do not quite suit us." They continued a pleasant conversation until dinner was called and the ladies were escorted by the gentleman.

Elizabeth's dinner companion was known to her, but the acquaintance was slight and she had not even remembered his name. She most certainly did not remember him being so handsome. "Lady Rockwood, we meet again." He said when they finally sat down to their meal. "Though I see from your expression, I did not make a lasting impression I am hurt, madam." He was very jovial.

"I am sorry Lord Scampton; it is not my desire to offend anyone's vanity."

"I think it is more my pride that is wounded. Since I would never have considered myself a forgettable individual, and I certainly did not forget you."

"Do not take it personally, I imagine I was acquainted with you in what I like to consider as the pre-presentation era, and during that time I sometimes forgot myself."

"Well I can understand the stress of such an event, and I will endeavour to make a more lasting impression this second time around."

"Those are very high standards to place on so limited a time," Elizabeth said as they made some small progress with their meal.

" I am a man of high standards and fortune favours the bold, or so I am told."

"Is making a lasting impression on a young lady such a bold excursion?"

"Well, it is no campaign against an armada, but perhaps it can be measured against a land based army."

"Well then, I drink to your health and success, my lord." She raised her glass slightly.

"You know in times of old, a lady would send her knight off to battle, with her favours."

" I was under the impression you out ranked a knight, my lord. In any case, such a scenario would fit, if you were to battle on my behalf. As it is, I prefer to fight my own battles."

"That is what I suspected of you, madam. But it does seem such a waste of beauty, to go to war when you need not. It hardly seems wise."

"Yes, but if a gentleman should go to war on my behalf, I become indebted to him. In some cases, the payment he requires are so high, I would rather have paid with my beauty on the battlefield."

"Then it is decided, all the women may go to war, let the men stay home and rest. For we gentlemen do have our handsome faces to protect. The next time I seat before parliament, I shall make the suggestion that the women be sent off to fight Napoleon."

"You mock me, sir."

"A gentleman never mocks a lady." They lapsed into silence and gave some attention to the person on the other side of them.

"So how does my campaign go?" He said when she finally looked his way.

"I cannot make out. But I do believe you have suffered from some friendly fire."

"For shame! I hope no injuries were sustained? If they were, I hope they were not fatal."

"Not fatal." She finally replied. "Although you may have a scar."

"And so lending distinction to my services on the battlefield." Her body grew hot at his smile.

"Would greater distinction not be found in seeking peace."

"You, madam, determined the terms in which I could go about creating a lasting impression."

"I did no such thing. But being a creature of infinite mercy, I wave my white flag. But only if you wave yours."

"Well, there you have it. My weapons are laid at your feet." His smile charmed her.

They fell into silence and caught up on their meal. Elizabeth was quite glad to be seated next to a gentleman who could match her wit, and for that he had indeed, created a lasting impression. They did have some other conversations, more commonplace conversations not laced with hidden meanings.

After the ladies and gentlemen had separated, Elizabeth rushed to catch up with her sisters, each had much to say of the amiability of their respective partner and so postponed such conversations. The evening's entertainment was determined as cards and in the small transition from the return of the gentleman and the cessation of the ladies' musical entertainment, a slight hiccup occurred.

On retrospect Miss Bingley had said nothing malicious, it was perhaps not appropriate giving the circumstances, but it was not malicious. Miss Bingley had been claiming a closer acquaintance with Elizabeth, and Lady Durham was not pleased about it. She had been sharing her shock at meeting Lady Rockwood, in such an uncouth society as was found at the Meryton public assembly, to those seated by her. Amelia, on hearing her words, turned to their hostess and said quietly, yet somehow loud enough, "I do wish you will be more scrupulous in your invitation to those of lesser rank. If they cannot be content in their station in life, then they should be avoided. I do despise feeling as though I am being leeched, whenever I am around certain people." Everyone who heard it knew who it was aimed at and Miss Bingley's flush of embarrassment merely placed a target on her person. It was the way of the world. Lady Durham may have been bordering on rudeness, but she was a Lady and so forgiven all sins. All that society would remember about the incident, was that Miss Bingley had finally been put in her place and she had vexed enough people for many to be happy about that.

When she could finally muster up her composure, after her brother had returned with the gentlemen, the Bingley party took their leave. By that act of brotherly support, that little piece of Jane's heart he might have gained was finally released. Jane saw how it would be. Mr Bingley would always be called to choose, for she doubted she would ever be on Miss Bingley's side, and she could not do that to him. To cause a rift between his family or face a day, when she would not be chosen by her partner in life, she could not bear it. So she gave him up. She did not doubt that he would be persuaded to choose someone more suited to Miss Bingley's taste and wished him every happiness.

Luckily for everyone, that was the only incident for the night. Though, Elizabeth had enough enjoyment in the night to crown it a success. She found the bud of friendship that had sprung to life between herself and Lady Charlotte, prove to be very promising. They had found themselves on the same card table, and were able to console each other at their losses. The night ended with a promise to call the next day.

When the sisters got home, Jane excused herself. She had much to think upon and would do so in solitude, for now. So it was left to Mary and Elizabeth to talk about their respective interest. It warmed Elizabeth's heart, to hear Mary speak in such warm terms about Mr Barker. He was a bit of an oddity. Though the son of a gentleman, for his grandfather had bought an estate up in the north, he was still active in some form of trade. It seemed he was not happy to be a man of idleness. Their family had made their money from mining in the colonies and he had extended the business so much as to now owned the mines his ancestors worked in. He had been upfront with Mary about the rumours about him. It was true, that a debt of honour earned his sister a far better sponsor than could have been expected. But there was no coercion, it was done in service of a friend, who could not pay his debts and for a sister who did not deserve to be measured by his decision to work for his money. He sounded like a man of good principles and Elizabeth was a little ashamed to tell her sister that she admired a man she knew so little of. They had talked of nothing of substance and yet she felt she knew him to be an intelligent man. She did not think herself on the road to love. Intrigue and desire were all that claimed her attention, and of the second she could not admit to herself. For to do so would open a floodgate of emotions, with guilt leading the way. So she told Mary of their strange conversation and of all that intrigued her about the gentleman.

The next morning, Jane quietly told her sisters of her decision to let go of Mr Bingley and to give herself a chance with Mr Stanley. The sisters said all the right things to comfort and encourage their sister, both of them being privately relieved that Jane had made the right choice.

True to her words Lady Charlotte called, as soon as it was acceptable to do so. Unexpectedly, Lady Matlock accompanied her son and daughter. Curious to meet the lady her son and daughter respected after such a short acquaintance, she came to take her measure of her. Word had reached her of society's new lady and knowing that Lady Julia was Elizabeth's sponsor, Lady Matlock was predisposed to like her. Elizabeth liked Lady Matlock, she put on no more airs than was expected of a Countess and when she left, she issued an invitation to both the dinner and ball that she would throw.

The Colonel informed her that he and Mr Darcy were to travel to kent. It was a sacrifice to duty, for they were charged with the care of their aunt's estate. That it was a duty he expected no pleasure from, Elizabeth could well imagine. Of all that she had learnt of Lady Catherine de Bough, she imagined the trip would offer him no chance for leisure. His hint at a desire to become better acquainted with her confused her slightly. His mannerism last night had not been that of a suitor, but what she had wanted in an older brother. So she convinced herself she read too much into it and wished him a pleasant trip and a speedy return. She asked him to send her regards to Mr and Mrs Collins. She had been in close correspondent with Charlotte when time permitted it but lately, she had neglected so much of her other duties. When her guests finally left, she called for her carriage. She had, once again, been summoned by Lady Julia.

As she stood upon the intimidating stairs of Forster house, she wondered if they would cease to inspire such emotions if they were not their unblemished black colour. She was led to the garden. She knew the great lady tended to her garden herself, and not wishing to be idle picked up the watering pot.

"I hear, my dear you have refused an offer of marriage from His Grace the Duke of Kingsley," Elizabeth said nothing, unsure if censure would follow. She knew lady Julia wanted her to remarry and at first she felt she had to bow to the lady's demands to obtain her help. But now she understood, her help was never in exchange for submission. "I applaud you, Elizabeth, to see such strength in someone without seeing their scars, it is a credit to you."

"Why would you have me marry? I am sure you know I am well provided for." She finally felt she had the freedom to ask such a question.

"Society has no use for a young widow." Seeing Elizabeth was not convinced, she asked. "What would happen tomorrow should Lord Harrow, who I am told is neck deep in debts, compromise you? What would society demand of you to avert scandal?" Elizabeth knew the answer so refused to reply. "They will drag your sisters' virtues through the mud until they forced your hand. Believe me, Lord Harrow knows this and so does every other person who can see that until Philip gains his majority, they can gain some access to an Earldom. Andrew may have ensured that they would not have full access, but they could yet bleed your son dry."

"Michael could ensure Philip was protected." She said stubbornly.

"Perhaps, but until Lydia is married the independence that you believe widowhood gives you, is fiction. So I suggest that you set your sights on marriage because choosing is the luxury Andrew afforded you. So choose well." The ladies spent some time silently tending to the garden before Elizabeth returned home.

She felt foolish, to think the same society who judged her based on how she dressed and dictated how she should raise her son, would have afforded her the freedom to live her life as she chose was folly. Removing herself from society would benefit neither her son nor her sisters and so that was not an option. It was all too ridiculous, but Lady Julia was right, she still had a choice and she would protect that choice at all cost.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Mr Stanley and Mr Barker had become regular callers at Rockwood House. Elizabeth thought her father's absence was the only reason an official courtship had not been requested. But, for now, the gentlemen seemed content to become better acquainted with their ladies. It was on such an afternoon, whilst her drawing room was filled with callers both men and women, that Mr Bingley was announced. They had not heard from the Bingleys since the night at Mrs Turner's home. Amelia's statement had turned the barely tolerated Miss Bingley into a pariah. Even some of the ladies present in her drawing room had come for the purpose of receiving a first-hand account of the event. Elizabeth was worried about how Jane would receive the gentleman, but she need not have been. Jane had made her choice and since she had never fully given her heart to Mr Bingley, her choice was an easy one.

"Will you yet return to Hertfordshire and Netherfield, Mr Bingley?" Elizabeth asked after some awkward minutes had passed.

He waited some time before he replied, he had been trying, without success, to gain Jane's attention. "No, I have decided to give it up, my sisters are ill-suited to country life and for now… Well, we are content to remain in London." He had conceded defeat, and Elizabeth was not sorry for it. Although he had been consistent whilst in Jane's presence. In his absence, he had been persuaded to be otherwise and such a man would not be right for her sister.

"I hope sir you have not abandon your desire to establish yourself as a landed gentleman?"

"For the time being, I think I am bettered suited to being a man of business." One of her guests remarked on the necessity of checking one's aspirations and not reaching beyond one's means. It was tactless, but as soon as possible, an embarrassed Mr Bingley left her drawing room.

Mr Stanley and Mr Barker stayed longer, but on taking his leave Mr Stanley asked if he could introduce his sister to the ladies of the house. His sister, he had told them, was not yet out in society but she had showed some excitement at the possibility of an introduction. Though he addressed her, Elizabeth knew what his statement was trying to convey with regards to Jane, and so she happily accepted on her sister's behalf.

Happy to be finally free of her morning duties, Elizabeth went to see her son. She felt guilty, she had been neglecting him of late. Not that he complained, between the sisters he had enough women to mother him. But she still wanted him to reserve his biggest smiles for her, so she rushed to the nursery.

He was playing with his infantry and on noticing her, he gave her that smile and it warmed her heart. She rushed to pick him up. He had grown in their time in London, and soon she would not be able to pick him up with any dignity. He would be three in June, they both shared that month for the anniversary of their birth, it had always been Andrew's joke that Philip had been his gift to her. She still thought about what Lady Julia had discussed with her, and it always filled her with anger to consider that there were some who would cheat her son out of his due. As she sat down to play with him, she was reminded of just how fragile everything was. She had always rejected such thoughts and had never worried unduly about his health. Sure, he had his shares of childhood aches, and whilst he went through them she wept with him. But she had never allowed her mind to stray to what would happen if she lost him. She had never contemplated it because she knew there was no existence without him. She had survived the loss of the love of her life, but she could not survive without him, he was her life.

Such gruesome thoughts had no place here, so she gave her son her full attention. When he had won the battle, against himself, they made their way to the library. They stopped in the kitchen to pick up some treats, he had quickly learnt the way to the kitchen and could be found hidden there on most days, to the endearing irritation of the servants. They met Mary and Jane in the library and together they all took turns entertaining the boy.

* * *

Mr Stanley came with his sister the next day. The ladies were introduced to a calm and shy young lady, who was quite similar to Jane in looks. Her gentle and unassuming persona ensure that the lady was well received and there was no doubt that they would, soon enough, be good friends. Although it was not the fashionable hour, since they expected no other visitors, an excursion to Hyde Park was suggested and agreed upon. They accidentally met Mr Barker on the way, Elizabeth was not quite sure how the gentleman had orchestrated the meeting, but as no objections were made, he joined their party. Elizabeth fell back to enable Jane and the Stanleys to progress in their endeavours to become better acquainted with one another. But she had no place in Mr Barker and Mary's conversation and soon felt the odd one out. She was happy to spot Lord Scampton in the park and the gentleman joined their party. When she took the arm the gentleman offered, she remembered her intrigue.

"I am glad to have met you Lady Rockwood, for I have every intention of securing my lasting impression."

"I do hope that is not a declaration of war." He laughed at her sly smile.

"Not at all, I have retired my weaponry and I am dedicated to lasting peace between us."

She smiled at him, "I am glad to hear this. But I am curious, my lord, we know nothing of one another and yet went to war and declared peace."

"Well, madam, I have lived a rather unremarkable life. Like many gentlemen in my station, I was born heir to my title, I received the appropriate education, inherited my land on my father's passing and now all that is left is to be shackled into matrimony."

"Oh! I am sorry for you, sir, that is truly and unremarkable life and the ending gives you no hope. You are to be pitied, my Lord."

"I think my lady is mocking me."

"It would be a shame if I was, for indeed, it is no laughing matter. I do feel sorry for you gentlemen, to be born free and then have to be shackled after enjoying years of freedom. But imagine if you please, never having even a little freedom. After all, we ladies are handed from our fathers to our husbands. I wonder what would be the more pitiable existence."

"Yes we gentlemen do like to complain unnecessarily, but I would wager it is a vice we all share."

"So you are a confirmed bachelor then?"

"No, for all the freedom that I have, I am denied that luxury. I have no brother awaiting my early demise. Just a dreaded cousin."

"Aren't they always. Cousins, that is. I just had a rather interesting experience with mine. So, with such a bleak outlook on marriage, you intend to trap two souls till death do them part."

"Yes, I do. Like so many others have done before me, for marriage has the benefit of producing acceptable heirs." Elizabeth blushed slightly. "So yes, in time I will marry but I intend on fully enjoying all the freedom available to me until then."

"Do you truly believe that gentlemen are deprived of freedom when they are married?" She stared intently at him. "I have yet to meet that wife who has managed to deprive her husband of anything. Indeed, there is no gentleman who has found that something was withheld from him because he is married."

"Perhaps you are right. But you cannot lament your present state, after all, you have been released from the shackles of marriage and society allows you some freedom."

"Yet I would trade this, supposed, freedom to have my husband back." She said offended at his insinuations. "Contrary to what you may think, there were no shackles in my first marriage."

"But there will be in your second." She stopped in her stride and looked at him. "Society's expectations are not made on a case by case basis. One rule fits all, and I imagine there are those who have encouraged you towards marriage. You talked about the relative lack of freedom women have. Well I say to you, your father may have handed you over on your first marriage, but you hand yourself over should you marry a second time."

"Is it your belief that a couple cannot love each other and so need not feel as though they were shackled to one another? Do you think happiness in marriage an impossibility?"

"No, I do not reject love. But you are an intelligent lady, so I ask you. Can a couple truly be happy in their marriage, if all of their actions are dictated by the standards of society? Those are the shackles, I have nothing against the institution of marriage, itself, just our present interpretation of it."

"You are a radical thinker?" She said with surprise, "Do you oppose all of the strictures of society?"

"Not at all!" He said with great humour. "As we have established, I am a gentleman, and so receive the most benefits out of that which is laid down by society. Why would I oppose that which benefits me?" He looked at her, and it made her uncomfortable.

They fell into silence. Elizabeth looked ahead to see her sisters and Miss Stanley walking side by side, and the two gentleman doing likewise.

"You have your reasons why you will eventually marry, and I have mine." She finally said.

"Hmm, and so you have resigned yourself to marriage. What a shame. Do not be upset with me," he said to her frown, "we all have choices we reject, indeed my dreaded cousin could inherit, and why should he not. Except that, I tell myself that that is not an option, so you may well tell yourself that you have no other options. You see that is the secret of it all, we all have other choices, we just dislike the inconvenience of the consequences of some of our choices and so reject them as choices." They remained silent until their group dispersed. She could not understand him. If he had intentions to court her then he had just bested Mr Collins in his request. If he did not, then they could not have settled on a more confusing topic to discuss on a Saturday afternoon.

* * *

The rest of March and early April continued with the steady stream of social engagements. Mary saw more of Mr Barker, Jane saw more of Mr Stanley and his family and Elizabeth saw more of Lord Scampton. He remained an enigma. Whenever Elizabeth thought he could possibly be the gentleman to safeguard her future, he proved otherwise. Truth be told, if Elizabeth examined the situation, the only reason she indulged him and his presence was because she desired him. But she could not think of such things, after almost two years she did not want to be reminded of passion and desire, it was too dangerous. So she indulged his strange conversations and sparred with him in some arguments.

Tonight they were headed to the Matlock's for a dinner party. Lady Charlotte had told her that the Colonel had returned, and Elizabeth could only assume he would bring Mr Darcy with him. She looked forward to meeting him. After their argument, she could not help but feel a little proud that she had taken action where he had not. She would meet him whilst she occupied the moral high ground, but Jane had told her she must remember to be kind to the gentleman. They had finally told her everything; it had happened by accident. She had been unsuccessful at deciphering one of Mr Lewis's letters, she had informed him to get someone to write his next one, and so she had given it to her sisters to try. From then it had unravelled. For the first time, Jane was angry at her sisters. She informed them, that she was not so weak as to need to be protected by her younger sisters. Perfectly chastened, for they had never received Jane's disapproval, they had agreed to honesty even when it was difficult.

They were warmly welcomed on their arrival. Lady Matlock had encouraged a relationship between Elizabeth and her family. Elizabeth suspected that the lady might have expectations with regards to her son. But the Colonel was not praised unduly by his mother. So Elizabeth concluded, that whatever her expectations, the lady would be discreet. From her time spent with Lady Charlotte, and even the Earl of Matlock, whom she had met at some function or another, Elizabeth had given some thoughts to marriage to the Colonel. He was a suitable match with regards to connections, and it would mean that she was not so heavily reliant on the Durhams. Amelia had been acting strange with her, especially when her husband was involved. From any other lady, Elizabeth would have suspected jealousy, but from her friend it was laughable. But with regards to the Colonel, Elizabeth could not imagine an army officer wanting anything other than a placid wife, and those shoes were too tight for her to fit into.

She pushed all matchmaking thoughts aside to greet the Colonel, he had not changed and so she recognised the look of mischief in his eyes. She and her sisters were being entertained by the Colonel and his sister when Mr Darcy was announced. He was as she remembered; tall, proud and handsome. He did not come their way straight away, though their eyes had met, he greeted a few other people first and then he approached their party. His greeting to everyone, even his own family, was stiff and forced. He could not possibly think he was above the company here, so she gave him the benefit of the doubt and blamed his natural reserve.

"I hear you are just recently back from Kent, sir? I hope you had a pleasant trip?" Mary asked surprising the gentleman.

"Yes thank you, Miss Mary."

"Come now Darcy! It was hardly pleasant. Mrs Collins provided the only sensible relief to be had and even her company was too infrequent. She sends her regards to you all, by the way." The Colonel said, determined to embarrass Mr Darcy out of his reserve.

"Yes, well, we went with a duty in mind, it was not a pleasure trip. Perhaps I should have said that instead."

"Yes, and I am sure you always submit yourself to the claims of duty," Elizabeth said. The Colonel laughed and Jane frowned at her, but Elizabeth could not help herself. He was going to reply to her but, dinner was called. Mr Darcy escorted her to dinner and he was her dinner companion.

"I hope you found your aunt and cousin in good health?" Elizabeth asked once they had seated.

"Yes thank you I did." Silence followed."I hear that you have had a very successful season." he said after some time.

"Well, it is not over yet, so I reserve judgment until I am in the green room at Nettleham." She was finally looking forward to her return to the estate and making it home.

"You will not return to Hertfordshire?"

"No, I plan to give up Purvis Lodge when my lease is up." She replied, then they lapsed into silence. This silence was different. During her time in Netherfield, she had come to appreciate him as a man of few words. After a while, their silence had been that of companions and friends. This silence bore evidence of their last disagreement. Since it was his fault, Elizabeth thought it only right that he should fill the silence. But he did not. The dinner ended, the ladies separated and their time in each other's company came to an end.

Excluding the awkwardness that was Mr Darcy, Elizabeth enjoyed her time. She saw much that suggested the Colonel's interest. He engaged her in a discussion when the gentlemen returned, and they discussed all things from politics to poetry. It was different than when she conversed with Lord Scampton. They had shared an intelligent conversation, that was not merely a battle of wits. When she was called on to play, the Colonel offered to turn the pages. She was by no means committed to him, but it spoke well of his character that he had sought a career, rather than simply waited till he married well. So when she entered into her carriage to return home, she found she could not rule him out.

* * *

She expected to see the Colonel the next day or at the very least Lady Charlotte. Instead, she received Mr Darcy's card and then the gentleman that followed it, and he was alone.

"How is your son?" he asked when they and her sisters had assembled in the drawing room, and refreshments were ordered.

"He is well thank-you, but he has grown since you last saw him." She said instantly disarmed.

"And how are your family in Hertfordshire?"

"They are all in good health. How is your sister doing? Does she remain in Pemberley?"

"She is well, and arrived in London just before I did." He seemed to get uncomfortable then said, "Mr Bingley informed me that you had met?"

"Yes, we met at Mrs Turner's dinner party." he looked at her waiting for more, then looked at Jane who was silently embroidering. "Truth be told there was an incident. Well, I believe your friend may be in need of your assistance to ensure doors are not closed to him."

"Your compassion is a credit to you, madam. From what I understand there was a slight on your person."

"Well, I see no reason why Mr Bingley is to be punished along with his sister. I remember him as a very amiable gentleman and he should not be deprived of society because of his sister. We all have family who sometimes embarrasses us."

"Well said." They talked of nothing of significance and when he left, she had to wonder why he came at all. But he returned and they met at some functions. He seemed to always be in the background but was never centre stage. Nothing occurred that indicated his interest, so she ceased to concern herself with his strange habits.

* * *

By the middle of April, all things social had rolled into one. So, as the dutiful sisters climbed into their carriage to go to some event or other, Elizabeth expected nothing out of the ordinary.

The evening had been mildly entertaining. Her dance partners had provided some good conversation and when the ladies gossiped, they could be easily ignored. Mary and Jane were well-tended to, predictions of them soon being disposed of in marriage were circulating. She was not bothered by such things, for she had similar predictions based on the attention each gentleman paid to her sisters.

In one of the rare occasions where she was sitting out a set, Lord Scampton came over to her. He did not ask her to dance, and for that she was grateful. She had started to suspect him of dishonourable intentions towards her. But even that supposition seemed on likely, as his manners were not licentious. They talked of a recent excursion to the theatre. As was to be expected, they took different sides on what was the tragedy in the play. That she did not have his full attention, she could easily tell and was disappointed to see the object of his attention was Miss Brantley. It was rumoured that she was the richest young lady present, and was expected to make a great marriage.

"Please do not let me keep you from a more profitable companion." She said, a little vexed.

"Oh – she will keep."

"Rather like a good bottle of wine."

"Oh, nothing like that. She will not improve with age." Elizabeth almost laughed.

"I fear, none of us seems to improve with age." He stared at her until she was uncomfortable, so she gazed at the young lady. "Will she be the next Lady Scampton?"

"I doubt it. No, she will be married by the end of the season and I do not intend to marry this season. I intend to wait to see what the next batch of simpering debutantes will bring."

"It is lucky for you that you can be assured of a new batch next year."

"And you believe you lack this assurance. My lady, should you choose it, you can wait with me. There will always be a new batch for us. With that said, I think I will go collect my partner for the next set." Elizabeth watched as he left her company to the other side of the room, she watched as some other ladies followed is stride. She had tried to learn something of Lord Scampton's reputation, but he was discreet and so society allowed him his privacy to do as he wished.

The night would have remained some insignificant social event, if Lord Durham had not, later on, found her. If they had not danced and if he had not made her laugh. She had thought nothing of it, for she had on a few occasions laughed louder than was proper. So when she was approached by Lady Julia she was not particularly embarrassed.

"Lady Durham has requested your assistance, Lady Rockwood." She said unusually stern.

"What could my wife possibly want, Lady Foster?"

"I will go see to her." Elizabeth could sense some discomfort and so left the pair alone. She found Lady Durham amongst the usual hens. When her friend looked at her, she was reminded that Amelia had been less than happy to see her at the start of the season.

"I was told you required my assistance, Lady Durham." She received, for her efforts, a silent set down before the lady removed herself from her company. Not willing for an end in their friendship, Elizabeth followed. They walked until the library was found, the entered into it and the door was locked.

In the dark with only the moon for light, Amelia said, "You must think me a fool. I have been kind. I have been accepting. I have been friendly. So I tell you as I told him, I will not be silent, I will not join the multitude of women who endure their husband's whores in silence, not again."

"Amelia, what are you saying! I suggest you think upon your words before you speak!"

"Well! Let me share in some of your frankness, Lady Rockwood. If you accept to be my husband's mistress, I will draw your name and that of your sisters into the mud, until, not even a butcher will marry Lydia."

"Do not make threats Lady Durham, it is not in your interest to do so."

"I have been a good friend to you, Elizabeth. If this is the path you choose, I suggest you accept another." With that, Lady Durham left. Elizabeth's attempt to go after her friend was stalled by the appearance of Lord Scampton. That he had followed them, Elizabeth could deduce, that he had heard everything was also clear.

"She must be mistaken, Mic-Lord Durham would not…" She did not know how to finish that statement.

"Hmm. I am sorry but why should she be mistaken?"

"Because he is my friend. My son's godfather and my husband's childhood friend." She said when disbelief had released her tongue.

"And yet he is a man, Lady Rockwood." He took her gloved hand, "There is a choice available to you, a freedom that you refuse to see. Perhaps, giving what his wife has said on the issue, Lord Durham is not the best choice. But you should not close yourself to this option. I could protect you and I think we would be good for one another." His lips touched her hand, and all she could think of was Philip.

It was all too ridiculous! Nowhere, in her extensive education had she been taught how to reject a gentleman when he propositioned her to be his mistress. Which was a shame, because if Lord Scampton and Amelia were right she would need to do so twice. Approaching footsteps reminded her of her precarious position, so she pulled her hand out of his grasp and walked away swiftly. But not before she heard his words, that she should think about his proposition.

Confusion was an understatement. She said nothing to her sisters as they journeyed home that night. She dismissed her maid and did everything herself, she had to think. Her mind and heart would not accept such a slander on Michael's character. He had cared and watched over them, he could not do such a thing, she was sure of it. Amelia's recent misfortunes were clouding her judgement, she will give her friend a week to come to her senses and then attempt a reconciliation. As for Lord Scampton's assertions, he would no doubt like to think everyone as immoral as he. Michael could not ask that of her.

Lord Scampton's offer was the other choice that they had all hinted about, but could not speak of in polite society. Society had one other use for a young widow. If she was discreet about it. The truth was, many of them need not be discreet, there was power to be had in such a position, but with her sisters yet unmarried, discretion was her only option. If she was to choose that path. Her integrity, her character and all that she was told her it was not an option. But to gain the necessary protection she needed, without having to surrender her freedom and her son's estate, was a seductive thought. She left her apartment as soon as she was dressed for the night, she could not think of such things there. She went into Philip's room to remind herself of who she was. She stroked his cheeks, ran her hand the length of his small nose. Her finger touched his lips, the bottom was fuller than the top, her fingers went all the way to the dimple on his chin. "Oh Andrew, what a mess." She said quietly to herself, before picking up her son. He stirred a little but returned to sleep when he saw it was his mother that held him. She made her way back to her apartment, into her room and laid him on her bed. She could not sleep alone tonight.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Darcy had left Hertfordshire because he was frustrated. He had left because she was right. His self-imposed absence from her presence had only solidified her words. He had not acted honourably were Wickham was concerned, he had never been able to. For, the honourable thing to do, would have been to tell his father and his sister about who Wickham had become. That she could question his honour, had at first angered him. But when he submitted to the rightness of her charge, he was in awe. He knew he had disappointed her, so as he left, he promised himself he was only trying to let her temper cool. He had planned to return with Bingley when his business in town was over, but Bingley had stayed away. So he stayed away. He knew what his friend's sisters were doing and for once, he did not intervene. He could give his friend no assurances, with regards to Miss Bennet's affections and so kept his peace. The idea that the sister of a Countess and the Aunt of an Earl was somehow beneath his friend, was laughable. But it was not his place to correct Miss Bingley, and he did not think Charles believed her.

As he could not return to Hertfordshire, he went home to Georgiana. His letters must have betrayed his interest, for his sister's only interest was Lady Rockwood. She asked and he was happy to tell. Perhaps, they had been a little presumptuous in their request that the mistress's suite be aired out along with the nursery. But in Georgiana's defence, she could not imagine anyone not loving her brother and she had no knowledge of the mess he had made of his one-sided courtship.

He had been prepared to attend the season from its inception, but the subsequent bad weather had pushed his leaving date. A slave to duty, he could not bring himself to write a letter to his aunt cancelling his trip to Kent. Since he could not tell Lady Catherine it was his intentions to court another heiress, he went from Derbyshire to Kent.

He met his cousin in town and was glad to hear news of her. He had told Richard that he had met Mr Wickham at Hertfordshire, this had resulted in him telling his cousin all that had happened. Including his argument with Lady Rockwood. So when he met his cousin on the day of their departure, Richard said, "I met her." At his cousin's quizzical frown, he expanded, "I met Lady Rockwood." A twitch of his hand was the only indicator of the mountain of questions Darcy had. "She was a vision in pink…"

"…She looks better in burgundy" Darcy said, betraying his interest.

"She has a sharp tongue too. If Georgiana had not claimed her as a sister, I am sure Lottie would have liked to, and I would have been very obliging." Darcy had to check that he had not punched his cousin in the face, but his fist was at the ready. When Richard told him of all that she had done, with regards to Wickham, he was ashamed. His shame did not leave him even when they met again. He was in awe of her, he was in love with her and he was ashamed of himself. He had formed a speech to apologise to her when they met. He wrote the speech at Kent and had reworded it more times than he could count. But when he met her, he did not say it. He could not say all that he wished to.

Her season had been a success; she was the new lady of quality. Wherever he went, she and her sisters were praised. He was not surprised to learn of Miss Bingley's downfall, nor was he surprised to learn of his friend's inconsistency. He did feel a little guilty that he had not better advised his friend, but on meeting Mr Stanley he had conceded that Miss Bennet was going to the better man. His aunt had told him that she had rejected a duke. It was society's worst kept secret. That she was no respecter of titles, he could well believe. But still, if a duke was not worthy of her hand, he was beginning to doubt if he was.

As his carriage pulled up at her house, he reminded himself of his plan. He would ask for forgiveness, he would ask of how her current operation was going and offer assistance where possible. His aim was to re-establish their friendship and repair the damage he had caused at Netherfield.

* * *

The morning after the ball came, and Elizabeth was still confused. She was woken up, in the early hours of the morning, by her son's hand on her face. At first, she had been confused by his presence in her bed. The more she remembered, the more sleep evaded her. So she sat up and tried to think. When she could not do that, she stared at her son. She stared at him until his quiet breathing lulled her back to sleep. He woke her up again, but at a more reasonable hour. As his small hands stroked her face, he said, "mama." When his fingers reached her lips, she took them into her mouth and pretended to bite. "Don't do that!" he said between his laughter. She continued to entertain him after she had released his fingers. But eventually, mother and son had to let reality in.

Mary and Jane had been in charge of their social correspondents for some time now. It was done so that Elizabeth might have more time to focus on estate matters. They had entered into the planting season for some of their crops and it was yet to be seen if they had enough hands for the task.

She had not expected any callers, but then she did not always know who to expect. But Mr Darcy's presence was a relief from her inner turmoil, so she welcomed him gracefully. Her sisters had maintained a conversation with him, for she was still too confused to speak. So, when they both got up to leave, it dawned on her that he must have requested a private audience with her. Her headache returned, so she did not try to make sense of the situation. She just watched as he paced back and forth in her drawing room, just as Lord Kingsley had done.

"Madam I…" He stopped himself, sat down and then got up again. "Please allow me to tell you how much I admire and l-love you." That caught Elizabeth's attention. "If you would allow me, I would care for and cherish you and your son. Would you do me the honour of accepting my hand?" It was a question. It was a question Elizabeth had not expected. She looked at him, and all she could see was his face against her son's, as it had been that day at Netherfield.

But it changed nothing, "I thank you for the honour bestowed upon me." She heard herself say. Then she remembered Philip's words this morning. So she said instead. "Would you indulge me, sir. Could I have some time to think about what you have offered me, I find myself lacking the capacity to do so at present." His relief was palpable, and it surprised her that the proud Mr Darcy had come to her with no expectation of being well received.

"I would happily do so madam. I will await your reply when it is within your capacity to give it."

"Thank you," was all she said and could say. So he left.

"What did Mr Darcy want?" Jane asked, repeating her words.

"He proposed marriage to me." Jane's shock was not as great as the first time. She and Mary had suspected the gentleman's interest, but she had thought a courtship would have been more likely.

"What was your reply?"

"I asked for time to think." Mary entered the room and yet again Jane told her what had happened.

Her sisters offered no advice and she was glad for it. She would make this decision on her own.

But her capacity to think was not restored to her by the end of the day, so she repeated her actions of the night before. She had tried reducing the decision down to the heart of the matter. Yes, he could care for her and her son. No, Pemberley was not known to be in debt and was by all accounts very prosperous. The faults in his character were not things that should worry her, and if she could not soften him, Philip would. She questioned whether she was putting too much trust in a handful of meetings and his limited interactions with her son. But then she remembered he had a sister, one he had cared for, from a tender age. With regards to Philip, she felt he could be trusted, as far as she could trust any stranger. That, was where the problem laid. He was still a stranger. Could she be a wife to a man she did not understand? Could she give him all of her, like she had done with Andrew? Her mind continued to work in circles, as a dog chasing its tail. But the right answer was always just beyond her reach.

The sun had kissed the sky before she was too tired to do anything but sleep. Philip did not wake her that morning. He had left her room in search of his toys when she would not wake up.

* * *

It was not unusual for Elizabeth to find Michael in her study, but today was the first time his unannounced presence in her home bothered her. But she welcomed him with a smile, ensuring that propriety was met in all of her actions. They had decided that Nettleham would be better served by more labourers from its neighbouring villages. The overpopulation issue, that was so prevalent in the North, had created willing hands. But, if those hands were not filled with food and work, they had no compunction to steal. This had resulted in daily letters from her steward. Mr Miller recognised the need for more hands, even if he did not like it. So he sent letters detailing the latest trouble on the estate and voicing his displeasure. Elizabeth sat behind her desk and the both of them discussed what could be done about the surplus of labourers.

She welcomed his ideas and suggestions, and so lowered her guard as they talked of business. But, when they had finished speaking about the estate, he reached across the table and took her bare hands. He had done so multiple times, and she had never once felt violated, until now. She gently removed her hands and held both of them on her lap underneath the table.

"Elizabeth, I care for you, I always have. I was jealous of my friend from the day I met you. I have watched you from afar. Your tenacity, your grace and beauty have impressed me from the day I met you. You have earned my affection and devotion. If I was free to offer you more, I would. But you have my protection, it is my wish to give you all that I am. If you will accept me." It was not a question. So she got up and walked to the window, so he might not see her disgust.

"Lord Durham, I value your protection, but I never desired your affection. I think it is best that nothing is said of your misplaced affections." She did not turn to see him, she heard him rise from his chair and heard him walk to the door.

"I would think madam, that at such a time, you would consider your son and what is in his best interest." She turned around so quickly it hurt her neck.

"Is that a threat!"

"No madam, merely and observation." With that said he left.

The ground beneath her feet gave way, so Elizabeth sat down. She was losing her head and all that she was. What was meant by his threat could not have been clearer. She had been so worried about the power she would give some other gentleman; she had not thought of the power he had over her. She had never been given reason to worry. Her husband had named both of them guardians to Philip. If she was ever declared unfit to care for her son, Philip would go to him. If he stood against her, who would oppose him? He was an Earl and she was still nothing but a social climber. He was an Earl, who better to raise an Earl than a woman who was not even born into nobility. That was what they would say to her as they took her son away from her. So, for the second time in her life, she was being suffocated by her clothes. She started to sink into despair, for she knew she had no recourses. He was, no doubt, friends with all the judges in the land and, in any case, who would choose a woman over a man. The one thing she had been assured of, was a choice and now it was taken from her.

Before the bone aching sobbing could start, she remembered he had called her Lady Foster. Why had she never noticed it before? Lord Durham was no stranger to informality. But even in smaller less formal circles, she had been Lady Foster to him.

For the second time in her life, Elizabeth called out at the top of her lungs. Her carriage was readied quickly and she all but jumped into it. There was no time for a change of clothes, nor time to consider the rules of propriety that had shackled her from birth. The stairs did not intimidate her this time; she gave them no attention as she pounded the door. She had the good sense to ask if the lady was receiving guests. But she just managed to do so. Her relief, on being led straight through, was very great, she did not think she had it in her to wait for guests to leave. She was led to Lady Julia's private apartments.

This room represented the mistress of the house and Elizabeth stopped short to see that Lady Julia was not alone. Alice was with her. Alice was one of Lord Foster's many bastards. Elizabeth had been amazed to hear that Lady Julia cared for them. Though the children went unrecognised by their father, they found a protector in their father's wife. Elizabeth had once asked her how she could do it? She had replied, "They are my children's siblings. I could not stand knowing that they were in the world and helpless. Truth be told, my husband has never disappointed me. I rather expected him to be a nuisance, so I prepared early in my marriage for such an issue." So she ensured they had an education and a good start in life. Few knew of what she did, it would not be seen as the act of kindness it was. If it was known by society. The presence of another was enough to bring Elizabeth to halt and remind her that she was the intruder here.

"My dear, I expected you to come about this issue, but not so soon." Lady Julia said after she had asked Alice to excuse them and Elizabeth had told her everything.

"You knew! You knew what he was and did not see fit to tell me." Elizabeth could not remember to stay calm.

"I suspected what he might be. But when should I have told you? After you had buried your husband or when you ran off to Hertfordshire?"

"It is all too despicable to think off. Amelia tried to tell me, she threatened me not to accept her husband. I rather thought she was being hysterical."

"Hmm. I thought she might say something."

"Well I now find myself with a choice to make; my sisters or my son, there is no choice in that."

"Nonsense, we always have a choice. My dear, you have the one choice I have been encouraging you towards. Lady Matlock has spoken of her nephew's interest. He would be a fine choice."

"He proposed marriage to me yesterday, I have yet to give him a reply."

"Well then! For heaven's sake, why are you here?"

"Will he be enough? He has no title; could he oppose Lord Durham on my behalf?"

"The Darcys are an ancient family, they actually lost their title because they lost the support of a Protestant monarchy. The Darcys did not need the Matlock, it was rather the other way around. But in any case, where Darcy goes the Matlocks follow. Lord Durham is the 3rd Earl of Durham, Lord Matlock is the 7th Earl of Matlock. Darcy has an uncle who is a judge and an aunt who is a duchess. It would be my delight to tell Lord Durham to do his worst. You will not lose your son. Once he sees who stands to support you, he will make no opposition." Elizabeth took a deep breath. There was a way she could secure her son's future and the relief was felt in her toes.

* * *

It was only a matter of whether or not she should send a message to him today. Desiring to have such an important issue out of the way, when she returned home, she requested that he call on her at his earliest convenience.

His reply was swift and he came right when he said he would. Her sisters could tell something was wrong, everyone but Philip could remember the last time Elizabeth was so agitated. But they said nothing to her as Mr Darcy entered her study. She did not sit, so he refused the chair she offered.

"I thank you, sir, for coming so promptly." His nervousness was radiating from him as they stood in relative privacy in her study, of course, the door was kept wide open. "I do have an answer for you. I would be honoured to accept your hand, but I must be honest, my situation is a lot different than what it was yesterday when you offered for me." His face had lit up when he heard her acceptance. But had turned serious all too quickly. "My late husband had a difficult relationship with his brother, so when Philip was born he named myself and his friend, Lord Durham, as joint guardians of Philip and his inheritance until he reached his majority. I had taken over Nettleham's management; to ease the burden it might have been to Lord Durham. South Yorkshire and Durham are not close, it would take several days' journey, making the management of the two estates difficult, and I was happy to be of some use. I accepted help when it was offered because I believed it was given out of kindness. The day before you proposed marriage to me, Lady Durham had suggested that her husband's attentions to me, stemmed from more than just his Christian duty. I did not believe her, but, this morning he offered me a proposition I could not accept. When I refused he threatened to take my son away from me." She had started crying as she told the narration and he had offered her his handkerchief. That he was angry she could easily tell, she would wager he had never been so angry. "I accept you, sir, with the assurance that you would do everything in your power to stop Lord Durham, should he try to take Philip away from me."

"I am your servant madam. I am grieved and shocked for your sake. That Lord Durham would betray your trust and that of your late husband is truly despicable. But I give you this oath, madam, your son will be protected by me as long as I draw breath." She could finally sit down, but he kept standing and started pacing.

"May I see him?" He asked when he finally stopped. "I have rather missed him." She was dumbfounded; but she reached for the bell, to call a servant. When Laura appeared with him, she reminded her charge to bow.

"Lord Rockwood," Mr Darcy said as he bowed back. His only duty discharged, Philip felt free to run into her arms. He hid his face from their guest, unsure what was expected of him. When she could finally encourage him to do so, he sat with his mother and stared at the tall gentleman he vaguely remembered.

"I think you may call him Philip." She said as she smiled at the gentleman. He looked at them, before joining them on the chaise. They sat awkwardly for some time, all of them unsure of their place. Elizabeth was amazed that Philip had remained still and quiet, but she suspected that her son was rather intimidated by such a tall man.

"Do I ask your son or your father for your hand?" he said with a small smile.

"You may ask my father for his blessing, since, I have yet to reach my majority." He looked at her. She understood his surprise, sometimes she forgot she was so young. "As for Philip's approval, I grant it on his behalf for now. As he grows older, it would be your duty to earn it."

He inclined his head and said, "I would endeavour to do so." Not willing to test her son's patience to its breaking point. Elizabeth called for Laura, who had remained just outside the door. His nurse collected him and he was happy to return to his toys.

"I would prefer if we were married sooner rather than later. So that Lord Durham might be aware of the situation. It is my hope that my marriage to you, would prevent any action he might have contemplated." He looked at her for some time, "if that is alright with you." She added when he did not reply.

"I would hardly claim to be a reluctant groom. But madam, you must know you have my support, even if you do not accept my hand."

"I thank you, for that. It is an honourable thing to say." She got up and walked to the window. "It is my lot in life to always be in need of male protection. But, marriage allows me to accept your help and keep my respectability. If you opposed Lord Durham on my behalf, people would assume I have your support because I am your mistress. I do not accept – that is to say, if I did not believe you are an honourable man, I would not accept you."

"I will purchase a special license, and make the settlement papers available to you and your father." He said after some time had passed.

"Thank you."

"With our understanding, may I have the honour of introducing my sister to you, she has been very eager to make your acquaintance."

"I would be pleased to receive Miss Darcy." She wondered how much the sister would be like her brother, and she worried if they would get on. There was nothing else to discuss until their engagement was made official and the settlement papers were signed. After that, they could start planning the rest of their lives together. It was too daunting a task to begin now, so they remained silent until the gentleman left.

There was no time to think of what she had gotten herself into, there was just enough time to be with family. So after he left, she went to find her family.

* * *

Darcy did not know what had possessed him to ask for her hand in marriage that faithful day. His plan had been simple, and he had started to ask for her forgiveness. But somehow, he asked what he had wanted to ask a week after he had met her. His trepidation as she looked at him with shock on her face, was very great. A part of him knew she had started to reject him. His relief at her change of heart was so great, he was surprised he had not hugged her. He had said he would give her time. But from the second he walked out of her drawing room, time became his enemy. He could tell no one what he had done, for it made no sense to him. He was glad that he had not caused a permanent loss of her good opinion, but he had no assurance that it would be enough. If she accepted him, it would not be because of Pemberley or any of the tangible things he could give. He wished he had said more of how he desired to be of use to her and her son. But he could say no more, so, he waited.

When he had received her note, he knew her mind was made up. That only a day had gone by, could not possibly work in his favour. Only the strictest conformity to good manners stopped him from taking the seat she offered. For, a gentleman did not seat whilst a lady stood.

Never had joy and anger, coincided at the same time within his heart. There was no time to feel the relief of her acceptance. Anger, hatred and disgust raged a fierce battle within him driving out relief. That Lord Durham could do such a thing was incomprehensible, and as he left her house that day, the desired to have that man pay physically was very hard to resist. But he had learned from her, there were better ways of handling such people.

A man as selfish and despicable as Lord Durham must have vices that he would prefer to remain hidden from the world. If that man preferred to work by threatening young ladies, then Darcy knew how to act. Lord Durham's finances would be looked into, he was no doubt in debt, perhaps just enough to release Elizabeth.

He fell into his chair as soon as he reached his study. His joy was no longer so pure. She had accepted him to protect her son, and not because of any fond affections she might have had for him. Not willing to dwell in despair, he focused on the fact that there was no greater honour, she could have bestowed upon him than to trust him with her son.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I am sorry for the inconsistencies in Elizabeth's age. I have changed my summary to deal with the issue. So, Elizabeth met Andrew at 16, got married at 17, had Philip 12 days before her 18 birthday and met Mr Darcy at 20. Thank you to the guest user who spotted the error.**

Chapter 16

Elizabeth was apprehensive about meeting Miss Darcy. The weight of the previous day had yet to sink in. Truth be told she had yet to feel the events of the past week. She had told her sisters that she had accepted Mr Darcy's proposal, but she had yet to tell them why. She was embarrassed. Ladies of virtue were not propositioned by gentlemen to be their mistresses. It was not done – or was it? She had yet to hear from Lord Scampton and she hoped she would not. There was a part of her that wondered if some deficiencies in her character and manners had contributed to the gentleman's actions. But she had little time for self-recrimination; she had to prepare herself to receive her new family. Her only knowledge of Miss Darcy had been given to her by Miss Bingley and her sister. They had praised her character and her accomplishments, but Elizabeth would not hold that against Miss Darcy. She was resolved to reserve her judgement and get to know the young lady better. For the sake of peace in her family, she would do all she could to be obliging to Miss Darcy. Indeed, she wanted to love her new sister as much as she loved her other sisters.

The ladies of the house had broken their fast in relative silence, Jane and Mary exchanging worried glances. It was rare for Elizabeth to take neither of them into her confidence, but they had resolved to be patient with her. After their morning meal, they each pretended to give attention to some activity until the appropriate time for callers.

The Darcys were punctual in their arrival and the ladies of the house received them joyfully. Each of them breathed a sigh of relief on being introduced to Miss Darcy. She was shy, but she was willing to be pleased with all that she saw, and the ladies were equally eager to please.

"I am so happy to meet you at last. My brother has told me so much about you all," she said quietly once they had been introduced.

"It is a pleasure to meet you too, Miss Darcy. I have also heard a little about you and your accomplishments have been very highly praised. Especially your skills on the pianoforte."

"I thank you for your kind words, though I fear Miss Bingley might be too liberal in her praise. My brother did tell me of his great delight in hearing you play at Hertfordshire." Confused, Elizabeth looked at Mr Darcy. She was not sure when he had heard her play in Hertfordshire. As their eyes met, that long-ago evening at Lucas Lodge came to mind. She was surprised that he had remembered the song and even more that he had enjoyed it; she had thought he would think her silly for playing a lullaby in the company of adults. But she realised that she had a lot of misconceptions, where the gentleman was concerned. They shared a small smile before Elizabeth returned her attention to Miss Darcy. She was grateful for her sisters, who between them assured that the conversation was warm and pleasant. When Miss Darcy asked to meet her son it warmed her heart. Philip arrived hand in hand with his nurse, and this time, he did not need to be reminded of his manners. Her little boy bowed to the room and presented himself for inspection. She could see it took all his self-control not to run into her arms. As he stood balancing his weight from one foot to the other, her thoughts flashed to her mother and she accepted what she had previously vehemently resisted. She could not raise him on her own. If it was left to her alone, she would always encourage him to run into her arms. But such informality did not befit his station, and would eventually be snubbed by society. She received Miss Darcy's praise of her son with delight before allowing him to return to the nursery. She was amused to hear his small feet running in the hallway, as soon as he was out of the drawing room. She had no desire for him to grow up too quickly.

The adults tried to maintain their conversation, and when Mary asked of Pemberley, Mr Darcy and Miss Darcy spoke freely. They talked of their home with such love and gusto, that ensured everyone lowered their guard and so enabling the conversation to flow freely. Amongst such easy company, Miss Darcy relaxed and soon the ladies were on their way to becoming good friends.

A sudden commotion in the hallway stopped Georgiana in the middle of her conversation. Making her excuses to her guests, Elizabeth went to see what was disturbing their quiet afternoon. She was met in the hallway, but a footman bearing a letter, it had been received from an express rider. The letter was from her father, it was such a rarity that she forgot herself and opened it in the hallway, in the presence of servants.

 _Dear Lizzy,_

 _I am distressed to inform you that Lydia has gone missing. I have mounted a search for her, but I fear there is no way to know where to look. For no one has any knowledge of what could be going on in that foolish girl's head._

 _In haste,_

 _Your Father_

Elizabeth could not hold back an exclamation, and in a moment Mary and Mr Darcy rushed to her aid.

"What is the matter?" A confused Mary asked on seeing no immediate danger. She glanced at the letter, gasped and then passed it on to Jane. A bewildered Elizabeth was about to draw their morning session to a close, when the front door was opened, and another express arrived. Hoping it might be from her father, she had already opened it before she realised she did not recognise the handwriting.

The letter was from Mr Lewis, dictated, he wrote, to a scribe. He informed her of the need to engage Mr Wickham as soon as possible as he suspected there was to be a desertion from duty and a possible tryst with a young lady as yet unknown. But Elizabeth did not need to know any more to be assured of what had happened. How it had happened was the only mystery, since Lydia was not out in society; Mrs Hopkins was in charge of her. Elizabeth was left to wonder what her father had been doing since he returned home.

Kitty had been her only true correspondent in Hertfordshire. But of late, her sister's letters had expressed a growing loneliness. Apart from her painting and singing masters, Kitty's education was at an end. So there was not much in Hertfordshire to entertain the young lady and she appeared to have outgrown her interest in officers. Lydia had stopped including her in her adventures and no longer confided in her. Elizabeth's father had not written to her, and her mother only wrote to inquire as to their marital campaign. Indeed, Elizabeth had begun to worry about Lydia's silence. She had, at least, expected her youngest sister to importune her for some item of clothing or adornment. But not willing to invite Lydia's selfish petitions, Elizabeth had discouraged a correspondence between them. She had foolishly relied on her father to keep his youngest daughter in check. Now, she tried to imagine what had happened; surely Mr Wickham must have targeted Lydia and had somehow persuaded her into an excursion with him. The extent of their tryst, she refused to contemplate. So, there was nothing to do but wait for word of Mr Lewis's success.

Sensible of the servants and propriety, Elizabeth asked her sisters to move to her study, so that she might explain the second letter to them. On second thought she requested Mr Darcy's presence as well; if he was to be her husband then she could not in good conscience keep such a thing from him. Not willing to leave Miss Darcy unattended, Mary offered to join her.

She started by reading the first letter from her father to him and then the second letter to both of them.

"It is all too shocking! To think that Lydia has run away," Jane declared when Elizabeth had finished.

"Do you believe that the young lady mentioned is your sister?"

"Yes, otherwise it would be too much of a coincidence."

"Surely not!" exclaimed Jane. "There is nothing in papa's letter to suggest she has gone off with Mr Wickham. It is more likely that she has gone to hide from Mrs Hopkins." Jane was unwilling to think so badly of her sister.

"That is just it. A part of me cannot believe Lydia would do such a thing. But I do not know what Mr Wickham could have made her believe. To her mind, this could be an exciting adventure. Who knows what freedom mama allowed her in papa's absence? I do not believe papa would have been able to keep her in order. He would have placed his desire for peace higher than the need to check his daughter."

"But what of Mrs Hopkins? Surely she would not allow such a thing." Jane countered, clearly unwilling to accept the logic of Elizabeth's words.

"She might have been a hindrance. But I have to wonder how much mama has undermined her authority where Lydia is concerned, and I doubt papa would have exerted himself to reinstate it." Elizabeth hoped, rather than believed, she was being too hard on her father.

"But surely, Mr Wickham would not attempt such a thing. To compromise a young lady, not even out in society. A young lady who is not without protection. It would be utter foolishness."

"Not if he was given sufficient encouragement." Mr Darcy finally spoke. A long moment passed before he elaborated. "I say this now, that it might encourage your father to swift action. Mr Wickham is not above having designs on a young lady not out in society, for the purpose of her dowry. He did so with my sister, Georgiana. Ignorance was her excuse. He was a childhood friend and she had no knowledge of the miscreant Mr Wickham had become. I should have taken better care of her, but I handed over her supervision to a woman who could not be trusted. This companion arranged their meeting, and he persuaded her to an elopement. She revealed all to me before she did so, as she could not bear to disappoint me."

"That was why you said nothing. You were protecting your sister." Elizabeth said. As he looked at her, his expression was softened by her kindness.

"In so doing, I put your sister in danger. I am sorry. I could have – should have - done as you recommended and exposed him to the society at Hertfordshire."

Silently she agreed that he could have done more, but composing herself she said, "I think for once we may lay blame where it is fully deserved. All that could be done to protect Lydia has been done. If she is capable of doing this, then she may share the blame with him."

"But Lydia has no dowry," Jane protested, unwilling to believe what she had just heard.

"No, but it is not too much of a stretch of the imagination to assume something can be settled on her, should the situation warrant it," Elizabeth replied and Jane sat down, finally conceding the possibility of such an action by such a man. But she still held out hope, it was not in her nature to do otherwise.

They were still digesting all that had been said when the door was opened and Mr Gardiner was announced. He had come to apprise Elizabeth of the situation, in case Mr Bennet had not seen fit to write to her. Elizabeth performed the introductions and although she told her uncle of all her dealings with Mr Wickham and of their suspicions, she mentioned nothing of Miss Darcy's history with him.

"After everything you have done, it is very foolish of this man to even attempt such a thing." said her uncle when he had heard everything. He could not hide how proud he was of Elizabeth and her sisters.

"I think he expects to force my hand," Elizabeth mused. "I wish to avoid a scandal, as do we all, and he knows it. If marriage is his intent, then Gretna Green is too far to guarantee success. So I believe it is his desire that we initiate the marriage, and so guarantee him a profit for his troubles. I have revealed how far I would exert myself to protect those I care about. Lydia is no exception. London would give him the best cover. If Mr Lewis cannot keep him in Hertfordshire, then we will need people in Hatfield to ensure they do not make it to London." Elizabeth said, not willing to just sit and wait. Hatfield was the nearest town to London in Hertfordshire.

"I can take care of that. If you would permit me?" Mr Darcy asked and she nodded her acceptance.

"If I may, Mr Darcy, I would like to buy any of Mr Wickham's debts that you have in your possession."

"There is no need for that, madam." He did not mean to sound dismissive, but he did.

"I know it is not seen as proper for a young lady to deal with money when she has male relatives to do so, but I will have to insist."

"Perhaps I could, Elizabeth…" her uncle began, but she silenced him with a look.

"I made Mr Wickham a promise and I would like to keep it. After all, I must think of my honour." She gave Mr Darcy a small smile.

"You need not be involved in this." His voice was soft.

"That would not be a sufficient excuse for you, sir, and it is not for me." They stared at each other until the gentleman yielded.

"Very well. May I have your permission to include my cousin in this? He can provide men to be stationed at Hatfield within the hour."

"Yes, please do. The Colonel had intimated that he was looking for another chance with Mr Wickham."

"Yes he is, and he will be very grateful for the opportunity."

The gentleman left to find his sister and they all followed. Elizabeth could see that her uncle was confused at the nature of their relationship, and she assured him she would explain later. They found their sisters in the music room, at the pianoforte. Their duet was sweet and peaceful, so calming that everyone was content to allow them to finish it undisturbed. The applause at the end surprised the ladies, but they both received the company with grace. After some time and further introductions, Mr Darcy and his sister left. Elizabeth explained all that had gone on to Mary and the nature of her relationship with Mr Darcy to her uncle. Neither of them could hide their surprise well, but they asked no further questions.

* * *

Waiting became the task for the rest of the day, and for the night following A letter had been sent to Mr Bennet, detailing what they suspected and what was being done; another had been received from the Colonel reporting that he had discharged trusted and discreet men to the coaching inn at Hatfield By the next morning, they received word from Mr Lewis. He had caught Mr Wickham in Stevenage, with the assistance of some of Wickham's former gaming companions, and the young lady was confirmed to be Miss Lydia Bennet. There was no time to feel relief; too much was yet to be done. Elizabeth undertook the task of informing Mr Darcy and his cousin that their services were no longer needed. Elizabeth was quick to dispatch a note to Mr Lewis. Mr Wickham was to be kept at Stevenage at all cost, his assistants being assured that they would receive their money as long as Mr Wickham was detained. She also sent a note to her father, informing him of where he could find his errant daughter.

As soon as Lydia's safety was ensured, Elizabeth began contriving to manage any potential gossip. Her sisters had asked to return to Longbourn once they were assured of Lydia's safety. If handled correctly their absence from London would not be missed. As soon as it was proper to do so, a note was dispatched to Lady Julia and the friends from whom they had accepted invitations. Mr Stanley and Mr Barker would be told of their return home, with the hope that the news might induce the gentlemen to follow and request a courtship. Elizabeth thought her sisters might easily explain their short absence from society if the gentlemen followed and requested permission to court their respective ladies. Elizabeth had asked Lady Julia to discreetly suggest that she and Mr Darcy had returned to Hertfordshire so that he might request permission for her hand in marriage. If all went as planned they could avoid a scandal.

Lydia was not yet out in society and their neighbours were well aware of the girl's exuberance. If told correctly her disappearance could be explained as a silly prank. The fact that Mrs Bennet knew nothing of the attachment between Lydia and Mr Wickham would work in their favour, for she would have had no time to share that information. Great discretion was required in this situation and Elizabeth could trust neither her negligent mother nor her indolent father to handle the matter without her supervision.

So with all of her letters dispatched and her duties concluded, Elizabeth instructed that some servants be dispatched to Purvis Lodge, ahead of the family. Mary and Jane had not been idle; as previously established, they handled all of the sisters' social engagements. The gentle manner in which the sisters handled everything, ensured that no one was suspicious or upset at their proposed absence. By afternoon, Mr Darcy arrived with receipts of Mr Wickham's new debts. But he refused to accept any money from Elizabeth as he handed them over to her care. It was evident that he was troubled by the disgrace of his childhood friend, but Elizabeth did not have the time to be touched by his persistent compassion.

Two days later the ladies, escorted by Mr Darcy on his horse, returned to Hertfordshire. The gentleman had received permission from his friend to open Netherfield and so he would remain there for the duration of his stay. Not willing to stand on ceremony, Philip rode with his mother and aunties, rather than with his nurse. But he could sense that none of them would indulge his exuberance, and so behaved exceptionally well throughout the journey.

* * *

Darcy did not have time to be in awe of Elizabeth; he was too ashamed of himself. The long ride back to Hertfordshire gave him ample opportunity for reflection. He remembered his words at Netherfield, "I see no reason to open up private matters for the ridicule of the society here." Her response had been to the point, that common decency and honour demanded better of him. His private affairs need not have been told, as he now realised. He should have done what she did not hesitate to do. He knew that she would call in Wickham's debts, which were substantial enough to send him to debtor's prison or even to Australia. If he were not hanged for desertion.

He had not for a second, acted honourably in Hertfordshire. He had attempted to plan their lives together without any reference to her, and that was not honourable. Whilst he was debating whether or not she was worthy of his love and his name, she had been repairing his negligence. In his own way, he had shown her just as little respect as Lord Durham had done. That was his greatest chastisement; the fact that none of it was known to her, was by the grace of God.

Seeing her as she prepared to do battle on behalf of her errant sister and that she was willing to do what few gentlemen of honour would do, showed him how little he had valued her. As he rode alongside her carriage, he remembered that he had once felt the need to protect her. But she was no damsel in distress needing rescue. Even in her acceptance of his proposal, he realised she was not helpless. She was giving him the opportunity to protect her son and he was honoured. He knew he had yet to earn her love and he also knew he had no one to blame but himself. Her love or any other emotion, to his great shame, had not been a factor as he planned their lives together. But he could tell he had made improvements from Netherfield. She had not questioned his loyalty, there was no question of whether he would withdraw his offer of marriage, and he was grateful to have earned her good opinion.

He consoled himself by remembering that the settlement papers, papers that he had already foolishly drawn up, were safely packed away, ready to be reviewed by her and signed by her father. He had made application to his uncle, a bishop, for a special license and a notification of his engagement was ready for publication. They had initially discussed the possibility of marrying in early June, but he wondered if that would change due to recent events. Her plans to avoid a scandal struck him as sensible and plausible, but they were dependent on all her family acting accordingly. But whatever the outcome, he was resolved: as long as she would have him, they would marry.

At midday, they stopped at a popular inn for refreshments while the coach horses were changed. Undoubtedly the adults could have soldiered on but for her son's sake they had stopped. As he helped the ladies and her son out of the carriage, he was aware of the boy's look of admiration. To see her eyes, in her son, widened with admiration warmed him. He wanted to be admired and loved by her son, because in a way, he already loved and admired the boy. First and foremost, because he was her son, but also because the boy reminded him of himself. Before he had been forced to mature too soon.

The party requested a private room to share some cold meats and other refreshments. Elizabeth sat close to Darcy and it encouraged her son to do likewise.

"He is in awe of you, Mr Darcy. He loves horses and has spent much of the journey admiring the tall man that rode alongside us. But I must confess they frighten me."

"I cannot imagine you fearing anything."

"Yes, it is strange. I fear so much and yet I must persuade the world to think me fearless."

He tentatively took her gloved hand. "Perhaps the secret is to share your fears." They looked at their conjoined hands, then smiled at each other.

"Yes, you are right." She encouraged a conversation between him and her son. Philip, sensing his mother's approval, lost all pretence of shyness and introduced Mr Darcy to the world of a young boy.

"If you allow him, he will talk until he wears himself out," she whispered in his ear.

"Mama should not whisper." They both laughed.

"That is right my boy, it is not polite. I am sorry." She kissed his cheeks and then returned to their neglected meal. He looked up at her sisters, surprised that he had forgotten that they were present. It warmed his heart to see that they had discreetly given them space. It was the first time he could remember that he felt surrounded by his family. For a moment, he wished he had allowed Georgiana to accompany them. But he was unsure of what role she could possibly have, and he did not want her to be distressed by Mr Wickham.

After that afternoon, he had told Georgiana everything. No matter how valiantly she tried to hide it, his sister was disappointed in him. His excuse of trying to spare her was poor, and they both knew it. But Georgiana was already loyal to her new friend and she had charged her brother, very seriously, to do his utmost to help Lady Rockwood.

They continued on their journey, stopping once more as late afternoon shadows fell across the landscape. At this stop, Philip trotted over and sat by Darcy as soon as he could, as though he had done so all his life, and Darcy's heart had never been so full. When they arrived at Stevenage their party separated. Darcy would join those holding Mr Wickham and help facilitate his return to Meryton. He smiled to himself – if everything went according to plan he would ask her father for his blessing the next day.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Longbourn was too quiet. Elizabeth and her sisters arrived in Meryton late in the afternoon, after an exhausting six-hour journey. After stopping at Purvis Lodge to leave Philip and his nurse with the servants who had arrived early, they made their way to Longbourn. To Elizabeth's annoyance, only the servants greeted them. Jane and Mary went in search of their other sisters and Elizabeth opened the door to her father's study.

"Lizzy my dear, you are here at last. It is a shame you had to make this journey for your wayward sister. No doubt she has disrupted many social engagements." He laid his book aside, clearly uneasy despite his quip.

"Compared to my family, Papa, they are of no consequence, as you well understand. Now, I would like to know how this could have happened." Her father shifted uncomfortably under her stern gaze. As she looked upon the face of the man she had always respected and loved, she found that her respect had turned to a mixture of pity and reproach.

"Well, I hope you can get some sense out of her. It has been endless crying and wailing since we returned home two days ago."

"Because you clearly have indulged her, sir, or avoided her," she retorted. "Well, we are here at last and we will speak with her. Do you care to join us?"

"I suppose I must," he replied, rising from his chair. "What is being done about Mr Wickham?"

"Nothing at present, until I have heard Lydia's story."

They went to the drawing room where the rest of their family had congregated. Lydia had thrown herself upon the mercy of her eldest sister and was loudly crying in Jane's arms.

"This is no place for your crocodile tears, Lydia, so I suggest you cease with it," Elizabeth snapped, causing Lydia's head to rise from Jane's shoulders.

"Really!" Mrs Bennet exclaimed. "There is no need for all of this. We should be rejoicing that Lydia is home and safe."

"It is our intention to find out how she got out in the first place, Mrs Bennet." Mr Bennet replied, irritated. Elizabeth silently bristled at his hypocrisy. Why should he be irritated now, when he himself had been willing to let the issue pass, without inquiring as to how it had happened?

"Well, it is as I have always said. If Mrs Hopkins had taken better care of her, none of this would have happened. Lydia has tried to run away twice under that woman's care. It is my belief that there is some abuse there. But no one ever listens."

Elizabeth took Lydia's hand and squeezed it. "Lydia, why don't you tell us all that happened." When her sister said nothing she pressed further. "Have you been in regular contact with Mr Wickham?" Weakly, Lydia nodded.

Mrs Bennet stood up. "This is ridiculous!" she exclaimed. "Mr Wickham is the villain here; Lydia is the victim. No doubt he kidnapped her, and may have ruined her. And still, you do nothing, Mr Bennet." She jabbed her finger at her husband. "You have not called him out. You have not called the magistrate. Nor his colonel. It is not to be borne. You must demand satisfaction, Mr Bennet. That is what should be done. Instead, we sit here adding to poor Lydia's distress."

"You were not kidnapped, were you, Lyddie?" Elizabeth asked, trying to keep them on topic. Lydia shook her head.

"It is high time you talked, my girl. I am losing patience. And Mrs Bennet, if you cannot remain silent you may leave us," her father snapped. Mrs Bennet scowled at her husband before sinking into a seat. "Now, Lydia!" he shouted and they all jumped.

"We met again after Lizzy had left," Lydia said snivelling. "He was no longer courting Miss King, such a freckled thing, he cared not one bit about her. We met again at Aunt Philips' house and he was so friendly. He understood, you see, how unfair it is that all my sisters are allowed some society and that only I should be kept back. I am a young lady, after all, and not a girl anymore. He knew many young ladies who were out at five and ten, even in London. I saw no harm in being a friend to him and indeed, Lizzy, he was your friend too, before you left. In any case, when papa came home I was dismissed to the schoolroom with no company but that harpy Mrs Hopkins. It was just not fair, and he knew it. So he wrote to me, to cheer me. And I was awfully glad of it."

"Wrote to you, how?" Mary finally spoke up.

"Well, I do not quite know how he did it. One morning I awoke and there on a tray was a letter for me, with sprigs of chervil and sage inside the paper."

"For sincerity and esteem?" Jane asked. "How did you know it was from him? Did he sign it?"

"Oh, no, Jane, but I knew, because we had talked about the language of flowers at Aunt Phillips'. He wrote of how he had always admired me and insisted that nothing bad would come from a friendly correspondence. We were to be like those lovers who shared letters for years before they finally married. I saw no harm in it, truly. Well, he told me if I desired to write back to him, I must simply leave a response on the tray in my room. I did so and by the afternoon the letter was gone. Oh, Jane, it was so exciting - he would tell me of the gossip in the regiment, who danced with whom at the last assembly and then about how he was so misused by Mr Darcy. Surely, he was to be pitied."

"And have you kept his letters?" asked Mary.

"No, not one – it's such a pity. I burned them, for discretion."

There came an awkward short cough from Mr Bennet, but all attention was on Lydia now, and Elizabeth could tell she was warming to her story.

"When did he begin to suggest an elopement?" asked Jane.

"After Easter. He could tell I was disconsolate to miss the trip to Kent with Maria. He said that if I were married, I would be allowed to participate in society like my sisters. I could join you as Kitty had planned to - I could have a season in London – and no one could prevent me. He could not ask papa for my hand, for he would refuse because I was not out and I am the youngest. But Lizzy married before Jane and she is now a Countess. With some help, my dear Wickham would have progressed in his career and could have been bought a Colonel's commission or something higher in rank. After all, he is stronger and smarter than Colonel Forster. Since I was always with Mrs Hopkins, I was to pack light and meet him. Then we would make our way to Gretna Green. But now it's all come to nought." She dissolved into tears again and even Mrs Bennet scowled. It was clear to all that Lydia still thought nothing wrong in what she had attempted, and was weeping only for the opportunities she believed had been denied her.

"And where was Mrs Hopkins when all of this was going on!" Mrs Bennet demanded. "I have always said she was not fit to take charge of Lydia and now we have the evidence of her neglect. Lydia has been corresponding with this man for weeks, she did nothing and said nothing." Elizabeth could not believe her ears.

"Consider that Lydia renewed her acquaintance with Mr Wickham only after she had been exposed to society. Which she should not have been allowed into. I think you will find the blame lies elsewhere, madam."

"And why should she not be allowed into society?" retorted Mrs Bennet. "If she had not been denied her sisters' opportunities, this would never have happened."

"If she had been out in society, Mama, there would this moment be a scandal at her contemplated elopement and she would be forced to marry."

Lydia began crying anew, but Jane did not embrace her this time. Looking at her father, she asked, "What is been said of her disappearance? Is it widely known that she left with Mr Wickham?"

Her father shook his head."It is being put about that she slipped away from Mrs Hopkins on a walk, just to vex her, and lost her way," he said wearily. "Not particularly plausible, but no one is looking too deeply into it. Since she was found soon enough, I doubt anyone will say otherwise, especially if Mr Wickham can be made to keep silent."

"Small mercies. Lydia, you behaved foolishly." Elizabeth asserted. "And proved most emphatically that you are not ready for society. If your behaviour does not change, I will never sponsor you in London society. Your foolishness would only disgrace me and I will not allow it." At this news, Lydia broke out weeping again.

"Is that really necessary? You are being too hard on her." Mrs Bennet scolded, taking Jane's place in soothing Lydia's wails.

"You have never taken the trouble to check her, madam, and this is the result." She glowered at her mother and father.

"Mrs Hopkins should be dismissed," Mrs Bennet protested, "since her negligence caused this."

When her father did not contradict his wife, Elizabeth continued, "Your servants are in your hands to manage as you will."

"We will need someone better able to manage Lydia," her father finally conceded.

"If her father, her mother, and a governess cannot do it, I wonder who else might manage the task!" Mr Bennet looked ashamed, but his silence testified that he would not take a stand now, and so Mrs. Hopkins would be dismissed.

Unwilling to deal with this issue just yet, Elizabeth asked Lydia who had helped her to send and receive Mr Wickham's letters. When she insisted she did not know, Mrs Hill was called. She was charged with a discreet inquiry into the conduct of all the servants. Elizabeth was keenly aware of the loyal housekeeper's shame that an upstairs servant had done such a thing. But she knew Hill could be trusted to handle the matter. Finally, Elizabeth delicately tried to ascertain if Lydia's virtue had been comprised. When her sister finally understood what she was asking, she replied in genuine shock that it had not. They all breathed a sigh of relief and Mrs Bennet was content to act as though nothing serious had happened.

* * *

Jane, Elizabeth and Mary returned that evening to Purvis Lodge, silent and exhausted. Even Elizabeth who had initially suspected Lydia was capable of doing such a thing, had nothing to say. Her parents were not willing to accept that their poor care of their daughter had nearly ruined her, and had made Mrs Hopkins their scapegoat. But the fact was, Mrs Hopkins had achieved so much for Lydia and Kitty. They have been given sound education and not left to be idle, all whilst she was being undermined by their mother. Elizabeth would ensure that the lady knew her efforts were appreciated.

She had extended an invitation to Mr Darcy for a late supper. She did not want him to dine alone, and she hoped for an update on what had happened with Mr Wickham. She went into the nursery to check on her son and found him sleeping. The day must have been an adventure for him, and now he was worn out. She kissed is cheek before quietly exiting the nursery to prepare for her guest.

Once he arrived, she inquired about the success of his trip. "Mr Wickham raised no opposition," he said. "I believe Mr Lewis persuaded him that any opposition was not in his best interest."

"Was he repentant?" Jane asked.

"I can safely say the severity of his situation has been impressed upon him. He has been handed over to Colonel Forster and is facing charges for desertion."

They settled down to a relatively quiet meal. But as they were all too tired, the evening did not last too long.

The next morning, Elizabeth accompanied by Mr Darcy went to pay a call on Mr Wickham. Mr Darcy had requested the opportunity to escort her. He was persistent in his desires to watch over her, and since she was committing herself to him, she was willing to allow him to do so. Truth be told, she liked that he went with her. So, for the sake of both their sisters, they went off to battle.

He was being held in the Colonel's quarters under guard. On entering the house, Mr Darcy had tried to say that this was no place for a young lady, but she had given him no opportunity to finish his statement.

Colonel Forster explained that apart from charges of desertion, he had debts of honour amongst some of his fellow soldiers and with the debts she held against him, she was assured that this was the last she would see of him. He refused to meet her eyes at first. His face bore evidence of the way Mr Lewis had managed to persuade him against voicing any opposition to his detainment.

"Have you come to gloat, Lady Rockwood?" He sneered at her.

"No, Mr Wickham. I am here to ensure that you pay for all you have done."

"You are in no position to threaten me, madam." He scoffed. "I have in my safe keeping the means to ruin you and your sister."

She sighed, she had suspected that he had kept Lydia's letters and would try to use them against her. "Yes, I understand you have some letters in your possession. Well, I wish you all the best in your endeavours. Lydia is not out in society and so the damages to her reputation can be managed and when she enters into society you will be dead and forgotten. But because I dislike unpleasantness, I will tell you it is within our power to persuade the courts to be lenient with you. You will, of course, be punished for the debts you owe, but you will be alive. Mr Darcy's cousin, the Colonel, would be most unwilling to plead your case with the militia, but it is in my power to persuade him to do so."

"I believe, madam, it is in your power to do more than that for me."

"Very well. Enjoy your last days, Mr Wickham." Turning to her companion she asked, "Mr Darcy, how much do you think will be needed to persuade Mr Denny to relinquish my sister's letters?" Mr Wickham blanched. "I believe 100 pounds should do it."

"I imagine he would do so for less."

"You are bluffing! You know nothing!" Mr Wickham shouted.

"Disguise of every sort is abhorrent to me. You know that." Mr Darcy replied.

"What you do not seem to understand, Mr Wickham is that you have been watched almost since you came to Meryton and began relating your tales of woe. It did not take long for us to work out who you could have given the letters to. Since they were not among your effects when you were apprehended. The offer we presented to you was made for mercy's sake in the case that we found you repentant. But since you proved yourself otherwise, I think my conscience is clear to leave your fate to the courts." She looked at Mr Darcy, who nodded gravely, showing no emotion.

* * *

They had met with Mr Lewis earlier that morning and had received a full account of all that had occurred in Elizabeth's absence. Lewis had apologised for not knowing that the young lady Mr Wickham courted was her sister. Lydia had never been made known to him and she had not told him her family name. So he could not have known and she assured him that the situation was not of his making. After their conversation, it was deduced that Mr Wickham's best available option, if he remained unrepentant, was Lydia's letters. That he would try to extort money or his freedom was a given. If she tried to report the issue, Sir William, the local magistrate would have to be informed and in so doing contradict the story they were telling their neighbours. That was to be avoided.

Once Mr Lewis assured them that Mr Wickham had posted nothing to London of late, it was clear that any letters were likely to have remained in Hertfordshire. Mr Lewis identified that Mr Wickham had spent most of his free time with a maid, whom Elizabeth suspected was Anne, one of Longbourn's upstairs maids, and with Mr Denny. Mr Denny was to be approached, if it was determined he had no knowledge of what the letters contained or what they were to be used for, then he was to be held blameless. After Mr Lewis had been charged with that duty. Elizabeth approached Mr Darcy and stood beside him, as he stared out of the window of her study at Purvis Lodge.

"The Colonel once said to me that where Mr Wickham was concerned, duty was forgotten. I believe it was more than your desire to protect your sister, that kept you from telling me of Mr Wickham last year." She said softly.

"For a long time, he was my closest companion. Pemberley is quite removed from surrounding estates and my mother did not approve of me playing with the tenants' children. But for reasons not know to me, Wickham was made an exception. Before I had Richard and his siblings, I had George. I despise the power he has over me. I should have stopped him - I had the power to do so, but never the resolve."

She placed her hand on his sleeve. "Mr Darcy, painful as it is to say, I cannot disapprove of your compassion for a childhood friend. In it, I see the story of my own family. For all my sister's recklessness, for all my parents' faults, I cannot turn my back on them; it is my place to support them as best I can. And now it is your place to persuade the Colonel and the courts to show Mr Wickham some leniency." He bowed his head; she might not be ashamed of his compassion, but he was. Elizabeth spoke again. "I know how greatly you abhor deception. But can we work together to allow Mr Wickham to believe that any leniency toward him is my doing? I would not have that man leave here believing that he still has a hold on you."

* * *

As they left Mr Wickham, she wanted to take his hand. But propriety dictated that she could not. So with Mary beside them in the carriage, they made their way to Longbourn. Jane had ridden there already, to be with their sister after breaking her fast. But Mary had stayed with Elizabeth to fulfil the office of chaperone, and because she could not trust herself to see Lydia without condemning and judging her.

They entered the house and Mr Darcy sought an audience with her father, whilst Elizabeth went in search of Mrs Hill. After informing her of the possibility that Anne was the disloyal maid, she asked that Mrs Hopkins be called to her. The lady looked worn out.

"I thank you, Mrs Hopkins, for the service you have rendered in this house. It has not been easy, I recognise that. I am sure your Mistress has made you aware of her decision to release you. If you do not mind my asking, what do you intend to do now?"

"Look for other work, ma'am."

"I am glad to hear it. For I would like to offer you a position in my household, as my son's governess. He is still too young to require serious study, but his affectionate spirit might be a respite after what you have endured here. More to the point, you know him and he knows you. I am sure you would be a wonderful fit for our family and my sister Kitty agrees."

Mrs Hopkins opened her mouth, but for a long moment, no words came out. Elizabeth could see the emotions passing one after another across her face. Finally, she replied "Thank you, ma'am,",her voice heavy with gratitude. If Mr and Mrs Bennet could not appreciate all that Mrs Hopkins had done, thought Elizabeth, she herself surely did. The lady left more uplifted than she came, grateful in the knowledge that the conduct of her wayward charge would not be held against her. She had tried with Miss Lydia, but the young lady was already set in her ways, and with parents who either neglected her or indulged her there would be more problems for her as she grew.

After her meeting with Mrs Hopkins, Elizabeth was summoned to her father's study.

"Mr Darcy has asked for your hand in marriage," he announced as soon as she entered his room. "I have given my blessing. But I must ask if it is what you really want. I would not have you feel indebted to him because of whatever help he has been to Lydia." She looked back sadly at her father, grieved that she could not tell him about the situation with Lord Durham. He was not powerful enough to be of any help to her, and after recent events, she could not take him into her confidence about all that had happened. He had lost some of her respect.

"I would not marry for Lydia's sake, Papa. I believe Mr Darcy to be an honourable man, who can care for me and Philip."

"Well, if your mind is made up, I believe all that is left is to sign the settlement papers. I am sure you desire to read them, and if they are to your satisfaction I suppose I will sign them. You may discuss any issues with your gentleman." Understanding that she was dismissed, she went in search of Mr Darcy. She found him in conversation with Mary and her mother. Not quite willing to reveal all to her mother just yet, she suggested a stroll in the garden. Her mother perceived immediately the advantage in retiring and returned to her other daughters, who were conversing in Lydia's room.

"I hope my father was kind to you?" asked Elizabeth as Mr Darcy walked by her side

"He is a singular man." It was clear her father had fallen short of his expectations.

"I believe you have the settlement papers with you."

"Yes, I had hoped it would be signed today." He handed it over to her to read. He had been generous; he had settled on her more than she would bring to him. She would receive full rights as a Dowager if she should outlive him. It was then she finally understood; when she married Mr Darcy she would lose Andrew's name. She did not care about the loss of her title. But to lose his name, after she had finally earned the right to bear it, was difficult. Mr Darcy had provided for her, and as Pemberley was not entailed from the female line, so she need not worry unduly about fulfilling her duty to him. She pushed all thoughts of said duty aside and smiled at him. He took her hand and kissed it.

"Thank you." she said unsure of what more he required from her.

They returned to the house and her father signed the papers without reading them. So when Mr Darcy left, she told her mother.

"Well, I had expected better," Mrs Bennet declared. "You will lose your title, which is a shame, but I believe he is richer than Lord Rockwood, so at least you will have that. I do hope you have not been encouraging your sisters to marry beneath them. For as I have always said Jane could do so much better."

Elizabeth was not shocked by her mother's response. Mrs Bennet had made it her life's work to ensure that her daughters were well married. And with all she now understood about the way of the world, Elizabeth realised she could not fault her mother for wanting the best for her girls. For a man found honour in the sons he raised, but a woman found honour in the marriages her daughters made.

But as she walked away from her mother, Elizabeth realised she could not marry in London. The ceremony would have to take place in Longbourn. She could not risk her mother embarrassing her with vulgar remarks and her lack of decorum. It was sad to think of one's mother in such terms, but the stakes were too high. The progress Elizabeth had made in Town, for her son, would not be undone by her mother.

For the remainder of the week, the Bennet sisters enjoyed what they could of the society at Meryton and its environs. They paid calls to their neighbours and ensured that the right story was being told regarding Lydia's adventure.

But Longbourn no longer felt like home to Elizabeth. It saddened her that Nettleham had never truly been home, not even after Philip's birth. But she was determined that things would be different at Pemberley. She would be a true and proper mistress and help her son to make his father's land home. All things considered, it had all worked rather well. South Yorkshire and Derbyshire were neighbouring counties. It would only take a day to travel between the two estates.

Elizabeth and her sisters gathered to plan her upcoming wedding. Her parents, unfortunately, had no part in the planning. Knowing that Elizabeth would not heed her advice, Mrs Bennet refused to become involved. Mr Bennet withdrew into his study as was his habit; having lost his daughter's respect, his wounded pride was his only companion.

* * *

As Elizabeth had predicted, on the fourth day of their stay in Hertfordshire, the suitors arrived from London; first Mr Stanley and then Mr Barker. True to form, Mrs Bennet embarrassed both of them and herself in her determination to find out the gentlemen's station and wealth. But she did have the grace to hide her dismay that neither of them had a title. Since Mr Stanley stood to inherit his father's title, Mrs Bennet tried to console herself with that knowledge. The gentlemen stayed long enough to secure the right to court their respective ladies and to ensure that their sweethearts would soon return to London. How Mr Bennet received the gentlemen, it was not known. For he had been given no warning of the possibility of a request being made to him. But neither of the ladies worried unduly. Their father had accepted the gentlemen, and that was all that mattered.

After achieving all that she had set forth to achieve, Elizabeth was happy to leave Hertfordshire and to bring Mrs Hopkins along with her. Mrs Bennet had yet to find a replacement and Elizabeth was sure her mother would soon cease her search for one. She imagined it would be small work for her mother to persuade her father that a governess was no longer needed.

Mr Lewis was to come to Pemberley as well. He had been successful in retrieving Lydia's letters from Mr Denny, who was chagrined to learn what he was keeping for his former friend. As Mr Wickham owed him fifty pounds, that sum alone was sufficient for him to relinquish them. Once Elizabeth had collected Wickham's remaining debts in Meryton, they were handed over to the authorities. In the end, all that was left of Mr Wickham was a memory: to plague some and to warn others.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Elizabeth felt great trepidation on returning to town. Lydia's misadventure had managed to take her mind off all that had occurred in London. Should she tell her sisters that Lord Durham and Lord Scampton had each offered to keep her as a mistress? Society forbade Jane and Mary to know of such things, and in this instance, she did not know how to circumvent society's dictates. Though she now had no reason to fear the loss of her son, the fact that such a thing was even a consideration filled her with a terrifying anger. The fact that she would have to face the man who would have robbed her of her life, just so he could satisfy his selfish appetites, did nothing to calm her anger. She was not prone to radical thinking, but for once, she wondered, what kind of action would be needed to bring about change. She wondered whether there would be a time when men would not abuse their power and leadership. When there would be no rules of propriety that shackled women whilst empowering men. But such thoughts served no purpose. For Lady Julia was right, to stand against society, one needed to have very little to lose. So she knew when the time came, she would teach her daughters these very same rules, and they would teach it to their daughters. For there would always be too much to lose.

Lady Julia was the first to call. She asked after Lydia and Elizabeth told her the full story.

"I think it is about time you called me Julia." she remarked after Elizabeth had finished telling all.

"I have always wondered why only Andrew called you Julia."

"He was not the only one, but I reserve Julia for those I respect and who respect me in return." She took Elizabeth's hand. "Don't thank me now – you and I have work to do. Your wedding to Mr Darcy will be the perfect end to the London season."

"Thank you anyway, Julia," she replied. "But the wedding cannot take place in town."

"Why ever not?"

"My family. Julia, I cannot bear to exclude them, but they would utterly destroy all your hard-earned success in sponsoring my season. If Lydia were brought to London, she would make a spectacle of herself and so would my mother. Since papa has not the backbone to check either of them, they will expose themselves in some fashion; their behaviour will be the talk of the Ton. I could not subject you and the Darcys to such a disgrace. Mr Darcy is a reserved gentleman; no one would question his desire to marry away from society's prying eyes"

"Very well, I will leave it to you." The lady said after some time. They talked of other things for some time before she took her leave.

The day after Elizabeth's arrival in London, her engagement was announced. Amongst the first to proclaim their delight were Lady Matlock and Lady Charlotte, who affectionately asked Elizabeth to call her Charlotte or Lottie. Elizabeth also replied in kind and from then on the dear friends were affectionately known as Lizzy and Lottie. As the ladies left, Lady Matlock informed her that her ball would now be held in honour of her nephew's engagement.

Many more callers came after them. Elizabeth's willingness to relinquish her title had done much to improve her character in many eyes. Those who knew that she had rejected Lord Kingsley were forced to revise their assessment that she was a social climber. Those who knew that Mr Darcy's wealth rivalled that of any Lord in the land, soon became jealous of Lady Rockwood's good fortune. Many called to give their false congratulations and those who had felt that their daughters had been well placed to be Mrs Darcy, were left to complain to any available neighbour.

Elizabeth held a small dinner party to introduce her aunt and uncle to Mr Darcy and his sister. Mary strategically extended an invitation to Mr Barker and Jane had done likewise to her beau. So, after that night, the gentlemen were very willing to accept the Gardiners into their society, especially since they had all met Mrs Bennet.

Mr Darcy, persuaded by his sister, hosted the next social engagement at Darcy House. He had expressed a desire to introduce Elizabeth and her London relatives to his extended family, reassuring Elizabeth that if she did not meet everyone at his dinner party, she would be introduced to them at Lady Matlock's ball.

The Darcy family were indeed well connected. During her season in town, she had been acquainted with some of them and for the most part, they were sensible and good humoured people. Those whom she had not been introduced to, were more than happy to accept her, and they showed no outward expression that they believed her to be a social climber. Any queries into her father's estate were politely put and Elizabeth did not feel as though she had to apologise for her father's humble status.

To Elizabeth, it seemed that the Darcys had a history of marrying well. His aunt, the duchess, was his hostess for the evening, as Georgiana was not out in society. The late Mr Darcy had two younger brothers and an elder sister. They and their families were all happy to show their support. She noticed that considerably more deference was given to Mr Darcy than was expected for a gentleman without a title, considering that there were many who were not his social inferiors. But as he was head of the Darcy family, concluded that the deference shown to him was his due.

The company was pleasant enough, and Elizabeth realised the reserve found in brother and sister was not a family trait. Darcy's uncle, the judge, was a friendly jovial man, who could not be induced to talk about anything more serious than hunting. Still, Elizabeth formed the impression that he could be a fount of knowledge should he wish it. His other uncle, a bishop, was pious without being pompous and was pleased to provide Elizabeth with a sketch of the family's history. That Darcy and Georgiana valued their relatives, Elizabeth could easily tell and she was glad that she need not fear that she might disgrace them.

She was touched that Mr Darcy had included her aunt and uncle as his guests, and even happier to see that the rest of his family were respectful. She had no illusions of her aunt and uncle gaining admittance into the first circle, and she knew that the Gardiners would not wish for that standing, being content with their position in life. Her sisters were also warmly welcomed, and after that night a gentle friendship arose between some of the young ladies present that were previous known to her. Elizabeth did her best to encourage Georgiana, who she noticed, was just as shy with some family members.

All in all, the evening was a success. Elizabeth left the night with the duty of writing the letters of invitation to her wedding. This wedding promised to be different than her last. For the last time she had wed, none of the groom's family or friends had been in attendance.

* * *

She had not expected to receive his card. She had hoped the announcement of her engagement to Mr Darcy would have been a sufficient reply to his offer, but his card was brought into the drawing room and he followed.

Lord Scampton looked as he had always looked. A part of her expected some change in his appearance that would depict him as the villain. But he was just as handsome as he had been that fateful night.

"I see you have chosen, madam," he stated once they had seated themselves in her drawing room.

Mindful of the presence of her sisters, whose curiosity was evident, she replied, "Yes, Lord Scampton, I have made my choice."

"I imagine you will find some happiness in it."

"I am certainly very determined to be happy. There are many benefits attached to my choice, that I will have no cause to repine."

"Yes, Mr Darcy is a fine gentleman, I am told. I wish you joy, madam." He stayed awhile longer and engaged her sisters in some conversation. When he took his leave, Elizabeth could tell her sisters did not know what to make of the situation. What he had offered had suited many ladies before her, and would suit many after her. But for her, it was the road not taken. With that resolution, she closed her heart to the gentleman and focused on the road she had chosen.

* * *

The night of the Matlock ball was quick to arrive. With her engagement to Mr Darcy being the talk of London society, many saw the ball as the event of the season. But Elizabeth was not affected by the gossip or nor the anticipation of London society. The night would be the first time she would see Lord and Lady Durham. As friends of her family, they were expected to attend and so they would. But it was not their presence that affected Elizabeth, it was the fact that she would have to meet them as though nothing had happened. She would be expected to face the man who had threatened to take her son away from her, and to speak with him as a friend. She would meet Lady Durham, share conversation with her, as though she had not been threatened by her. As distressing as the prospect was, for propriety sake, it would be done. She would not draw scandal to herself, her sisters or her future family by acting otherwise.

So that evening she entered her carriage, smiling outwardly and simmering inwardly, to do what was expected of her. She greeted her host and hostess with a warm smile. On entering the ballroom, she was happy that she saw Mr Darcy first. He approached them, offered her his arm and then led her away from her usual company. She turned to ensure her sisters were well tended to, and on seeing that Mr Stanley and Mr Barker had come to collect them, she was happy to go with Mr Darcy. They joined his cousin's party and she squeezed his arm in gratitude.

"Lady Rockwood, may I say how beautiful you look tonight. You outshine all the ladies here" The Colonel said as he took her hand and kissed it.

"I thank you, Colonel Fitzwilliam." Her blush was very becoming. "But I do have to wonder, just how many young ladies have you charmed so easily tonight." His laughter was unapologetic.

"I do believe it is my destiny to be forever humbled by you, madam." He teased in response.

"A heavy duty, indeed." Mr Darcy quipped. "When measured against the size of your pride."

"So says the king of pride." His cousin replied and Mr Darcy frowned.

"Yes, pride is a failing in all of us, so acknowledging it has the wonderful capacity to unite us." Elizabeth tightened her hold on her fiancé's arm, as she smiled at him.

"Is it your belief then, that no human can ever be without pride?" The Viscount of Cromford, the Colonel's brother, asked.

"Yes, I believe it is part of the cardinal vices, and so universal."

"Darcy, here, would exclude pride from the list. It is his belief that, where there is a real superiority of mind, pride will be always under good regulation." The Colonel stated.

"And so proving my point, Mr Darcy is proud of his superior mind and so cannot be said to be without pride."

"There are worst things to be proud of." Mr Darcy declared looking at her with a slight smile. "In any case, I do not need you to speak for me, Colonel."

"But you certainly cannot deny you could have said such a thing, at some point in your life." Lady Charlotte joined in the conversation.

"I have no desire to deny it." He raised an eyebrow and grinned. "But I would rather, say what will amaze the whole room than have it merely said on my behalf."

"Your secret is revealed then, Mr Darcy," Elizabeth said teasingly. "It is not that you are reserved, as we all had generously supposed. But, that you will only speak when you are assured that you can amaze the whole room."

"Yes, I see it now." The Colonel chimed in. "For, how else can he make his superior mind known to all, unless he says only that which would amaze the whole room." They all laughed in response.

"I am glad to be a source of amusement to you all." Mr Darcy said sternly, but he was not quite able to replace his mask of displeasure.

"She is good for you, Darcy." The Viscount said quietly as they dispersed to find their partners for the first set.

"Yes, she is," he whispered to her alone.

As he led her through the dance, he said, "Thank you, Elizabeth. If it were not for your presence tonight, I would not be assured of enjoying the evening."

"I am curious. Would you have walked around the ballroom, determined to be displeased at all you saw? As you did at the Meryton public assembly?"

"Most likely." His warm smile caused her to flush. "But here I have good people who can pull me out of my ridiculous attitude."

"Well, then it is settled. You must never be without good people when you are in the company of others."

"Your company should suffice." And it did for the night.

He could not protect her forever. But when she did meet with the Durhams, he was close by. She had joined her sisters, who were in conversation with the couple. When Lord Durham complimented her appearance she merely nodded. When Lady Durham congratulated her on her engagement, her smile was tight. As soon as it was polite to do so, she left their company, content to spend the evening getting better acquainted with members of Mr Darcy's family.

She was never without a dance partner for the night, and she ensured that Mr Darcy was also similarly set up. "For if I do not remind you of your duty to the young ladies sitting without partners, your aunt surely will." It did annoy her slightly, that a man of good sense, was ill-equipped to recommend himself in the company of others. Knowing something of his wealth and social standing, she could understand that he was a hunted gentleman. But she had faced the same problems with ambitious matrons and their second sons. It was a source of irritation, but not an excuse to forget what is owed to good manners.

The evening went on without incident, but she had not truly enjoyed it. Her engagement had been given society's seal of approval, and all that was left for her to do was plan their wedding. But she was not looking forward to it. For whenever she thought of their marriage, her thoughts turned to what had necessitated her marrying Mr Darcy and her anger bubbled up, poisoning any pleasure she could feel about her upcoming marriage. Her anger had spread and had now extended to Andrew. How could he have been so deceived? She wondered. How could he have entrusted her future, their future, to such a man? Should she, by some cruel fate, lose Mr Darcy, she would be right where she started. Alone, in need of protection and at the mercy of such a man.

* * *

The morning after the ball, whilst she was entertaining her son in her study, a visitor was announced. Lady Catherine de Bourgh had arrived at her door, before the respectable hour for calling, without a previous introduction and making noisy demands of her servants. Elizabeth had half a mind to turn her away. But decided instead to treat the occasion as her father might. She desired to laugh and Lady Catherine was sure to provide ample opportunities to do so.

"You are, I am sure, aware of why I am here?" the lady demanded. Her status allowed her to speak in such a manner, but Elizabeth would not be intimidated in her own home.

"Lady Catherine we have not been introduced, so I can have no means of knowing why you are in my home, making demands on my servants."

"You insolent girl!"

"Madam!" she said sharply. "I will once again remind you that you are in my home, and it is within my power to have you thrown out if you cannot keep a civil tongue in your head." Their loud conversation drew Mary into the room.

"Do you know who I am? You would be wise to show respect to your betters."

"I was told I was addressing Lady Catherine. If there has been some mistake, then let us rectify it immediately. As to the other matter, I am still the Countess of Rockwood, and until I give up that title, I will act in a manner befitting my station."

"You are nothing but an upstart, who married above yourself once and are found yet again to be reaching above your station. Well, I will not have it. Mr Darcy is engaged to my daughter."

"If that be the case then we have a grave misunderstanding. I wonder when was their engagement announced to all of London society? Then we can establish you has a prior claim to Mr Darcy's attention?"

"Their engagement is of a peculiar kind," she said reluctantly. "The arrangement was made whilst they were yet in their cradles. They are formed for one another."

"Such a shame. But my engagement to Mr Darcy is of the common kind and manifestly of his choosing."

"You will not be well received." Lady Catherine declared. "Society will see you for the upstart you are and a scandal will ensue. You have already disgraced one gentleman; are you so without shame that you will disgrace another?" It was only because Elizabeth found this confrontation more amusing than offensive, that she had not had the lady shown to the door.

"Here again, madam, are you destined to be disappointed. Last night, I attended a ball at your brother's house in honour of my engagement to your nephew. Since your nephew is without a title, madam, I am not the one marrying above my station. I suggest you cease making yourself ridiculous." The lady was unable to reply and Elizabeth had heard enough. "I think it is time for you to leave, Lady Catherine."

"This is not the last you will hear from me." she thundered as she marched out of the drawing room. Mary and Elizabeth looked at one another and laughed. Elizabeth had to wonder, just what did Lady Catherine think she could have accomplished? Was it her belief that Elizabeth could be intimidated or persuaded not to marry Mr Darcy? It was all too ridiculous. She hoped that Lady Catherine would not try and appeal to Mr Darcy, as she doubted the gentleman would be happy to have his honour brought into question.

But the lady did visit her nephew. Elizabeth could tell that he was not happy the second he walked into her drawing room, for an afternoon visit. He was accompanied by his sister, and when he had finished his profuse apologies on his aunt's behalf. Elizabeth suggested they go for a walk. Accompanied by, Philip, his nurse and their sisters, they set off for Hyde Park. As it was just before the fashionable time, they were able to enjoy their own company for a while. The combined efforts of Laura and Mrs Hopkins meant that her boy was becoming more and more aware of acceptable behaviour in the company of others. He walked rather than ran to the ducks, and when he no longer wanted to be entertained by the ladies, he stood patiently at Mr Darcy's side and only interrupted the adults' conversation once. It was a charming way to spend the afternoon. When they returned home, Georgiana extended an invitation to Elizabeth and her sisters to view Darcy House.

* * *

Elizabeth received another unwanted visitor at the end of the week. When Lady Durham's card was presented to her she was torn. She could not imagine what the lady expected from her, or what she could possibly say to her. But for the sake of avoiding the possibility of a scandal, she allowed the lady into her home. Elizabeth knew that her sisters could sense the tension between herself and Lady Durham; they knew something had occurred, but asked no questions.

"I wish you joy in your marriage to Mr Darcy. It is a fine match." Amelia said.

"I believe you already have."

When Elizabeth said no more, Amelia went on. "You will be receiving some very prestigious connections by marrying Mr Darcy. Indeed, his family is well connected. It is rumoured that his cousin, Lady Constance Howard, will soon be one of Princess Charlotte's ladies in waiting. Her mother is the Duchess of Northwich, Mr Darcy's aunt."

"Believe it or not, Lady Durham, I am not marrying him for his connections." she quipped.

"I never imagined you would."

"I am surprised to hear that you have such a favourable estimation of my character." she scoffed. She did not miss her sisters' look of surprise. But she would not pretend, not in her own home. "That would certainly not be in line with our last conversation."

"If I could please speak to Lady Rockwood alone?" Lady Durham said to her sisters. Elizabeth nodded her approval as Mary and Jane withdrew. Elizabeth did not hide her look of disapproval.

"I am desperately sorry for how I handled things, my dear. It was poorly done and terribly unfair to you." Amelia burst out after Elizabeth gave no encouragements.

"What exactly are you apologising for, Lady Durham? Are you sorry that you thought I was soliciting to be your husband's mistress, or are you sorry for threatening me with my sisters' reputation?"

"You must understand, I felt as though I had no choice. You know my situation. We are women in a world built for men. What else could I have done to avoid being humiliated once again?"

"You once said, I did not know what he is. But you did, and you did not see fit to tell me. You could not come to me as your friend, you came to me as the enemy. You are right, we are women in a world built for men. So why are we so quick to attack one another? Why do we constantly place stumbling blocks in the path of other women? I never solicited your husband's affection. I looked to him as a friend and my only interest was how he could protect my son's future. If you knew me at all, then you should have known this even as you threatened me and called me his whore. Shall I tell you what happened? I rejected his proposition, and he promptly threatened to take my son away." Lady Durham was not surprised to hear this and that only served to increase Elizabeth's disgust and anger. "I pity you, Lady Durham. I really do, you may have threatened me, but you will not be able to threaten the next lady he propositions and what will you do then?"

"I know I did not handle things well, I was jealous. Not because I believed you encouraged his affections, but because you have a freedom and independence that I can only dream of. You have everything I want."

"I have this supposed freedom and independence because I lost my husband." Elizabeth almost shouted. "I would abandon this freedom in a heartbeat if it would bring Andrew back." They stared at one another in silence. Elizabeth looked at the woman who had been her friend and ally. She had no desire to cut ties with her. They were both victims. Yet neither of them could see how they might move forward from this. The ease and friendship they had shared could not be restored. But Elizabeth could recognise that of the two of them, she stood on the better footing. Amelia would have to return to her husband, but Elizabeth would soon be free of him.

Lady Durham left after an uncomfortable few minutes of small talk, and Elizabeth went to search for her sisters. She knew her sisters deserved an explanation and she was determined to give it to them. She rarely kept secrets from her sisters, but she had kept the state of her marriage with Andrew and recent events from them. Was it propriety or self-blame that had kept her silent?. Unreasonable though it was, she could not escape the feeling that she could have done better. Had she been better prepared for her role as Andrew's wife, he would have entrusted more into her care. Had she been less free with her expressions and more proper in her actions where Lord Durham was concerned, he would not have fixated on her.

She found them entertaining her son in the garden, under the warm sun. She joined in their game and all three played with Philip for some time. At last, she summoned her courage, called for Laura to take him and unburdened herself to her sisters.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Once Philip had been collected by his nurse, Elizabeth invited her sisters to her bedchamber, so that they might discuss freely without being overheard. They sat on her bed and she began, "Lord Durham and Lord Scampton asked me to be their mistress." The was no way she could have eased into such a topic of discussion, so Elizabeth went straight to the heart of the matter. In any other situation, her sisters' look of shock and disbelief would have been comical. Their mouths hung open, in a most un-lady-like manner.

"I suspected that there might have been some issue between the two of you. But never this." Mary said when she had found her voice. "To think the gentleman is so depraved is unthinkable."

"It is unimaginable!" Jane exclaimed. "How could this have come about? When did this happen?"

"Some days before we received papa's letter concerning Lydia."

"Why have you not said something till now?" Mary asked more confused than angry.

"I did not know how to broach the subject."

"How did this all happen?" Jane asked still trying to understand.

"Well the true sequence of events is that, Lady Durham warned me of her husband's interest, then threatened me not to accept him, then Lord Scampton made his own offer and finally Lord Durham propositioned me."

"How can you treat the matter with levity?" Jane asked.

"How did Amelia threaten you?" Mary asked at the same time.

"I have to treat it with levity otherwise, I will be filled with so much anger, and that frightens me. Amelia's words were: if I should accept her husband, she would bring about such a scandal that even Lydia would not be able to marry a butcher, or something to that effect."

"This is all too despicable!" Jane declared, still unwilling to believe her ears. She arose from her position beside Elizabeth and began pacing the length of the room.

"Is that why you are marrying Mr Darcy?" Mary had already moved passed her shock and disbelief and was considering recent events.

"Surely not!" Jane replied for her sister.

"When I refused Lord Durham, he threatened me with my son. He said nothing specific, but his insinuations were clear. In any case, it is in his power to oppose my guardianship of Philip should he somehow deem me unfit."

"Could any gentleman be so depraved?" Jane asked this serious question to herself.

"I accepted Mr Darcy with the assurance that he would do all in his power to stop Lord Durham, should he try and challenge my custody of Philip. But I do think I would have been content to accept the gentleman. If my situation had not forced my hand. In any case, he is a good and honourable man and I count myself lucky to have his attentions."

"I do not think I have ever hated anyone as I hate Lord Durham." For Jane, that was indeed a revelation. "To think that it is possible to misplace trust to such a proportion."

"And that is what angers me," Elizabeth said as she also arose from her bed. "I am so angry at Andrew."

"At Andrew? Why him?"

"How could he not have known?" She questioned. "How could he not have suspected his friend? He was a discerning man! He could not have been so deceived! To place our futures in the hands of such a man!" She exclaimed as tears formed in her eyes.

"He could not have known," Jane said as she put her arms around her.

"He could not have been so blind. Lady Julia suspected him possible of doing such a thing, why did he not?" Elizabeth said refusing to accept Jane's words, but she accepted her comfort.

"Perhaps he saw in his friend what he wanted to see. It is possible that Lord Durham hid his depravity from Andrew." Jane tried again.

"He did not suspect his friend, as we did not suspect Lord Durham." Mary inserted. "I imagined you had quarrelled with Lady Durham, but I could not have suspected this and we are neither foolish nor naive. We had faith and trusted our friend, it is as simple as that," she said as she joined Jane in consoling Elizabeth.

"But there would have been signs." Elizabeth wept. "He would have had some suspicions and doubts. There were other options for Philip's Godfather and guardian. Indeed, Lady Julia's son would have been a more suitable choice. But I suspect Andrew did not want to offend his friend, and so he allowed sentiment to override good sense."

"I do not think when Andrew picked Lord Durham to be Philip's guardian, he thought of the true impact of his choice. He did not want to leave you." Mary said as she wiped her sister's tears with her fingers. "He loved you."

"But that was never enough. His love did not bring about trust or respect."

"What do you mean by that?" Jane asked.

"I never told you why I did it."

"Did what dearest?"

"Why I let Mrs King go." Mrs King had been Andrew's nurse, and he had called her to be his son's nurse when Philip was born. Though Mrs King never said it, Elizabeth knew the old woman did not consider her a suitable mother or wife.

"Oh, that was such a long time ago. I am sure you were distraught."

But Jane's continual comfort only added to her frustration. "Is it not strange that a widow should quit her husband's house, a week after he had passed, without being under duress. I would wager, despite her hatred of Mr Collins, even mama would not quit Longbourn so quickly. But yet I left, without coercion."

"You found greater comfort at your father's house, that does not seem strange to me," Jane replied and Elizabeth frowned. Sometimes Jane did not listen.

"So why did you do it?" Mary asked and so Elizabeth finally told her sisters everything.

* * *

 _It was after the lawyers had left. After his will had been read and after everyone had left her. She was well provided for; she had been assured of that. They had said it so many times, as though it somehow made everything better. She had lost her husband, but the only comfort they could offer was that she would not starve. Perhaps there would come a time when that was a comfort. But truth be told, she did not need comforting. She felt numb. Jane could not reach her with her encouragements, Mary and God could not reach her, even Philip's ignorance had no hold on her._

 _She had been told throughout the week that her grief would come. But she could not see how it would. It was too strange, just last week her husband had laughed with her, danced with her, shared intimacies with her and now he was gone? Impossible. All throughout the week, she had watched the door of any room she was in. When they were in the family room she expected him to come in, a cup of coffee in hand as he always did. When she was in the drawing room, receiving people, she expected him to come in and place his hand on her shoulder. When she retired to her bedchamber, she expected him to come dressed in just his nightshirt. She was still expecting him to come back to her._

 _But when she was finally left alone. When they no longer tried to reach her, her grief came and it was determined to choke her._

 _In his study and behind his desk, her hurried fingers removed the string of pearls he had given to her, it had been a token to mark her engagement. They fell to the floor, and the pins in her hair joined them. But the more she removed, the more constrained she felt. Until her hands were clawing at her dress in an effort to make room for her to breathe. But each time she drew breath her ribs choked her lungs. She collapsed onto the floor by his chair and waited for the tears to come. But they never did. So she stopped trying to remove her constraints and waited to be choked to death._

 _But death did not come, the panic subsided and an idea came instead. Not willing to look a gift horse in the mouth, she did not question the logic of it. She helped herself off the floor, stood behind his chair and called for a footman. She did not replace the pins in her hair, nor did she check to ensure she looked presentable. She was liberating herself. When the servant came she requested for Mrs King's presence._

 _She pushed her curls back from her face and faced her tormentor. "Mrs King, I thank you for the service you have rendered." She was not grateful. But even now she could not let go of convention. "But your services are no longer required. You will be given…" she stopped, she did not know the proper way to dismiss a servant. What compensation, if any, should be given? She did not know. It had never been the right time for her to learn that. She felt her knees give way and yet somehow she remained standing. "You are no longer required here, please pack your bags and be gone by tomorrow. Thank you, that will be all." She finished._

 _"Madam, perhaps the shock…" Something on her face silenced her._

 _"That will be all." Her voice was not stern, it was just her voice, and she had finally found it."_

 _As Mrs King left the room, Elizabeth wondered if things would have gone differently if she had been in the green room she loved so much. But here in her husband's study where she had been so grieved, she could feel no compassion. It was done. But the relief did not come. Some part of her mind wondered if this was how the French felt when they had cut off Louis' head. Such curious thoughts followed her out of his study._

 _It was unfortunate that the first thing she saw, as she entered the drawing room in search of her sisters, was the armchair she hated. She had hated it from the moment she toured the house. But she had never felt free enough to ask for it to be replaced. Andrew would not have denied her that, in fact, as he showed her his home he had asked her to decorate it as she saw fit. She had decided to do so when she felt comfortable in the estate. When his house felt like her home. But that day never came. So in her state of grief, that chair mocked her. That chair opened a wound that had never healed. That chair revealed what she had always felt but never voiced. But she had found her voice and she would not be silenced._

 _"Lucy!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, that several doors opened. When her maid finally arrived, she gave the order that everything was to be packed. She was closing Nettleham. Her sisters came rushing in right after the maid had left to do as she had asked. As she looked on her sisters' confused faces, the relief finally came. She fell into the nearest chair and gave herself over to that bone aching sobbing they had all expected._

 _It took a week for things to settle and with no master to defer to, her requests were honoured. Their bags were packed and they made their way down south. Her father's warm embrace welcomed her. Her mother's silence soothed her. When she laid her head on the bed she had slept in for most of her life, she finally felt at home._

 _She eventually learned how to dismiss a servant; it had been the first thing Mrs Hill had taught her. Chastened she sent monetary compensation to Mrs King. When she was filled with confidence, she leased Purvis Lodge despite its dreadful attic. She called for some servants from Nettleham and so began the journey to earning their respect._

* * *

The sisters shared an embrace after Elizabeth revealed everything. "Why Mrs King?" Jane asked after a moment of silence.

"All that was left for me to do was to bear his children and care for them. When she came I felt threatened. When she objected to any of my actions, with regards to Philip's care, I was offended. It hurt to be found wanting in the one area I had been allowed to occupy and so resentment built. I could not dismiss her whilst Andrew was there, and she knew it. So she comported herself as any servant would, who was secure in their position. Until such time as the person who truly wanted her passed on."

"Oh, Lizzy!" Jane held her closer. "Why did you never come to us."

"It would have been selfish for me to do so, you loved Andrew, as you should and I would not do anything to diminish that. It is also true, that I was ashamed and I blamed myself for failing to prove myself strong enough to be his wife in every true sense of the word." Elizabeth finally admitted to her sisters.

"He loved you," Mary repeated. "He also regretted that he did not have more time with you. He told me so." Jane and Elizabeth were shocked at that separate revelation. "He told me so the day before he died. I was alone with him. He asked me to forgive him, he said that he had not been all that he should have been to you. He regretted that he had counted on always being around and was sad that he would not get to see you or his son grow. He only ever wanted what was best for you." Elizabeth nodded in tears. She had known that, and so became angry at herself. She had allowed the actions of a man without scruples to cloud the memory of the man she loved. The sisters held one another and cried.

"I know that he loved me. I know that he appreciated me as his wife and the mother of his son. He did always say…"

"Beth, you spoil that boy." They said in unison and laughed. "He would still say that now."

"So you will marry Mr Darcy," Mary said after they had spent some time silently remembering the great man they lost.

"Yes, I will. In less than a month's time."

"Do you have any affection for him?" Jane asked gently.

"I would not even know where to start. It has all happened too quickly and for the wrong reasons."

"From all I have read, it seems to me that love is not as complex as your poets would have it be," Mary said very philosophically. "At its core, it is the greatest form of self-sacrifice. But since you are unsure of how to make a start. Might I suggest you start by finding that which you like about him? Learn to respect and trust him. These are the best foundations for love to grow in and I think he just might be worthy of your love. I know you think you did not choose him; I beg to differ. He is exactly the sort of man I always thought you would marry. You will soften is reserve nature and he will encourage the improvement of your mind. Like papa always did. Circumstance might have accelerated your choice, but I believe he would have always been your choice."

Elizabeth kissed her sister's cheek. "Very wisely put and you are right, despite everything, I did choose him and I will endeavour to do as you have asked."

The sisters did not remove themselves from the mistress' chambers that day. When it was time for dinner, they requested that trays be sent up. They shared a precious time of laughter and love, that went with them and sustained them in the times when life necessitated their separation. When night came, they remained a comfort to one another.

* * *

The rest of the week was marked with the necessary preparations for Elizabeth's wedding. Mrs Gardiner, Lady Matlock and at time Lady Northwick, joined the young ladies in their numerous preparations. Elizabeth had carried her point; the wedding would not be in London. But invitations were still sent out to the various principle people of society and she was assured that many would find their way to that obscure place in Hertfordshire. Mr Darcy had informed her that he had requested from Mr Bingley the use of Netherfield Park, so Elizabeth was relieved that their guests would be spared some of Mrs Bennet's show of ill breeding.

The remainder of their time in London would have gone on without incident, had not the gentlemen come calling. Mr Barker was the first to arrive. They received his card on Monday morning and by the afternoon, he came. His arrival was met with great excitement, for much of the previous week had been spent in great anticipation as to when the gentleman would come. Elizabeth and Jane tried to be as inconspicuous as they could be, in the rather large drawing room. So when he finally asked for a private audience with their sister, Elizabeth and Jane all but ran out of the room. Mary avoided meeting their eyes so she could be assured of retaining her composure. The sisters tried not to resurrect their family's tradition of listening at the door, but it was a herculean task. They made their way to the music room and Jane sat by the harp, whilst Elizabeth sat at the pianoforte. When a footman came to tell them that their sister requested their presence, it took strength to remember that they must be graceful young ladies.

Mary radiated such joy, that she had never looked more beautiful. Congratulations were requested and given, and the sisters welcomed Simeon into their family. Elizabeth, later on, lamented the loss of Mrs Bennet's presence, for only she could be free enough to express the joy that the occasion deserved. Mr Barker informed them that he had written to their father to gain his blessing, and Mr Bennet's reply had been short and relatively on time. But when he turned to Elizabeth and Jane to seek their permission and their blessing, Mary's heart overflowed. She called the servant to bring in her nephew to share in her joy. He came in shy and unsure, but on sensing the joyous atmosphere, he forgot his bow and ran into his Aunt Mary's outstretched arm. Mary conducted the introductions and Mr Barker was quick to endear himself to the boy. He was invited to dine with them and happily accepted. So the whole house rejoiced, for the servants had come to respect and love not just their mistress, but their mistress' sisters also.

By Wednesday afternoon the household would yet again be called to celebrate. Mr Stanley also called on the ladies and paid his address to Jane. His slight delay had been, he told them, because he did not have the foresight to send his letter requesting permission from Mr Bennet by express mail. So he was left at the mercy of Mr Bennet's tardiness. It would become the joke amongst the sisters, that although Mr Stanley was the politician, it was Mr Barker who showed political savvy in his understanding of his father-in-law.

The engagements were announced and the well-wishers and congratulations came. The Bennet ladies were deemed very lucky indeed and the couples were approved of by those who cared to make their opinions known. The sisters had contemplated a joint wedding, but as none of them could countenance the exclusion of their mother in the preparations for all their weddings. They decided that Elizabeth would Marry on the 15th of June, five days after Philips third anniversary and two days before Elizabeth gained her majority. Whilst Mary and Jane would have a joint wedding at a later date.

The end of May saw the sisters orchestrating an early exodus from London than the rest of society. Her time had been well spent, she had gotten to know Georgiana and the rest of her new family very well. So much so that Georgiana and Lottie joined them in their carriage when they left London, whilst the gentlemen rode beside. Although she had resolved to get to know Mr Darcy better, there had not been the time or the intimate setting required for the gentleman to lose his reserve. But Elizabeth did not despair, she had the distinct impression that for such a complex gentleman she would need a lifetime to become better acquainted with him, and God willing, she would have that lifetime.

* * *

Their re-entrance back into the society at Meryton was without incident. A month was sufficient time for Mrs Bennet to not only, make peace with her daughters' respective engagements, but she had even condescended to rejoice in it. To her calculations they were all well matched; the gentlemen were all handsome, wealthy and well connected and she could console herself with the fact that Jane would receive a title, just as soon as Mr Stanley's father passed on. She had nothing to wish for. She saw how it would be, next year Kitty and Lydia would be introduced to London society and Lydia would be married to a duke, she was sure of it.

As predicted, Mrs Bennet had carried her point. So Lydia, at five and ten, had stopped all formal education and was brought into society. The fact that she had no accomplishments to speak of was irrelevant, her mother had ensured that she would not be deprived of society. Mr Bennet had reverted back to his old ways, content to shut himself in his library, he made no opposition to how his wife managed her daughter. Elizabeth considered it a small mercy that because of Longbourn's steward, the estate was unlikely to be abandoned.

Her relationship with her father had been damaged to the point of no return, and it pained her to finally accept that. But with all she had done and sacrificed for the sake of her family, she could no longer turn a blind eye to his selfishness and negligence. Her respect could no longer be cheaply bought, she hoped that as time went on and Philip grew he would yet again change, but only time would tell.

There was no hope for her relationship with her mother. As soon as Mrs Bennet declared her desire to have Lydia out in London next year, Elizabeth was quick to reject any suggestion that she would be her sister's sponsor. Lydia knew not to voice any opposition to Elizabeth's strictures, but Mrs Bennet did not. She tried to berate and intimidate her second daughter. But Elizabeth was firm, Lydia must first return to the school room, learn some accomplishments and better manners, before Elizabeth would even contemplate such a thing. Mrs Bennet had tried to suggest that Jane would undertake the office, and so she received the shock of her life when Jane said she would not. Recent events had finally convinced Jane that there were wicked and licentious people in the world and she would not see Lydia preyed on yet again. Mrs Bennet's lamentations on her three headstrong daughters caused her to be bedridden for the rest of the day.

The welcome the ladies receive from the rest of society was only mildly better than what they had received from their family. Those who could understand that the good fortunes of others did not diminish their own, were happy for Elizabeth and her sisters. Those who had given themselves over to jealousy offered their insincere congratulations and well-wishes. But Elizabeth was happy to be back in Hertfordshire. She was happy to walk the paths she had always walked, and say her final farewell to all that had sheltered and comforted her. Derbyshire was not known to her, but as it was the neighbouring county to South Yorkshire, she could imagine the surroundings. What she was not familiar with, Mr Darcy or his sister could be called upon to describe in good detail.

When she thought of what would be her new home, she felt a lot of excitement and a little trepidation. She was excited for the paths and sites she and her son would experience. From that which Mr Darcy and Georgiana had described, Philip would have ample sources of excitement and adventure and she was happy for her boy. Elizabeth looked forward to being mistress of Pemberley. It would be different. She would ensure that not a single duty would be neglected by her, and she was determined to be happy.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: I know a lot of people desire more D &E interaction, thank you for being patient with me. It was not my intention to turn Mr Darcy into a secondary character, but I have to stay true to these characters and not rush things or the story will not progress naturally. But if you can bare with me, there will be more D&E coming up.**

Chapter 20

The Darcys were an old and illustrious family, who could trace their roots all the way to France. When the Duke of Normandy, William the Conqueror, defeated England on the battlefield, the Darcy men were part of the French nobility to cross the English Channel and join William the I's court. Comte de D'Arcy was a proud Frenchman. So no one was more surprised, than the Comte when he developed an infatuation for an English maiden. But it happened, and as these things go, his infatuation developed into deep abiding love. It must have been love, for that could be his only excuse for trading the warmth and comforts of his home, for the cold and raining English Island. But, he loved his wife and grew to love her country, so when it was no longer fashionable to have a French title in an English court, he happily traded. With the King's blessing, the Comte de D'Arcy became Baron Darcy de Darcy or Baron Darcy of Temple Hurst. The family thrived and prospered as English nobility and so each succeeding heir felt less and less French. By their fifth century in England, they were proud Englishmen, who knew nothing but the soil of Derbyshire. Unfortunately for the family, King Henry the VIII's boredom with his first wife would have catastrophic effects on their status. Like many in the North, the Darcy family were ill at ease with the changes in the King's ecclesiastical persuasions. Persuaded by his devout catholic wife, whom he loved, Thomas Darcy showed more support than was wise to the northern uprising. His alignment with the Pilgrimage of Grace, a catholic movement that protested the King's change of religion, cost him his head. His treason cost the family some of their land and their noble title. In defiance of the King's betrayal, the family refused to do that which was necessary to regain their title. But they were more than happy to regain the land that had been forfeited to the crown. Each succeeding male heir ensured an increase in the family's wealth. So by the time Fitzwilliam Darcy inherited his land, the family's wealth was that which even the Prince would envy. So, despite not having a title, the Darcys could not be so easily dismissed. After all, it is rumoured that they owned half of Derbyshire, although some might say it was only the miserable half.

As Mr Darcy climbed into his carriage, to set his plans in motion. He was comforted by the fact that the men of his family, always did their utmost for the women they loved, even if it cost them their heads. Darcy had never been more disgusted than he was the day his Elizabeth had told him of Lord Durham's actions. When he had overcome his desire to shoot that man on sight, he had set his mind to how he might free his fiancée from the clutches of such a man. Although he would have liked to have spent their short engagement in proving his love and devotion to her, he had spent it gathering support.

Darcy's investigation into Lord Durham had proven what he had expected. Like most Lords, Lord Durham was in debt. His wife's dowry had just been enough to pay the debts of the last Earl of Durham. The current Earl of Durham was using his godson's wealth to fund his current lifestyle. Although he had taken no loans from the bank in the name of the Earl of Rockwood, he was more than happy to purchase credit using the Earl of Rockwood's name. If he was not stopped, Darcy feared for what Philip would inherit when he reached his majority. It was all too despicable and Darcy did not know how he would tell Elizabeth. But as Lord Durham had no licentious vices, at least none that society would disapprove of, Darcy's only hold on him was his political aspirations.

Like most men in the Earl's current predicament, Lord Durham had turned to politics to supplement his income. The declaration of war with France had resulted in many seeking political distinctions that had monetary gains. His cousin, the Colonel, by default hated such men. For they sort the glory of the battlefield without ever setting foot on the battlefield. Truth be told, such men were why Darcy, to his father's disappointment, never showed an interest in politics. They were vultures. They would not give a second thought to killing their own so that they might have something to prey on.

It was lucky for Darcy that there were men in his family who had an affinity for dealing with such men. As he alighted from his carriage and entered Matlock House, he was ready with a plan of action.

"Darcy, my boy, what can I do for you?" His uncle asked as he welcomed him into his study.

"Thank you for seeing me, sir." He said as he accepted the offered glass of brandy. "I would like you to tell me all you can about Lord Durham."

"Are you finally showing some interest in politics?" His uncle asked jovially.

"No, nothing like that. This is personal."

"Would it have anything to do with the beautiful Lady Rockwood?"

"What have you heard?" Darcy exclaimed. He was surprised that such a thing was already public knowledge.

"Nothing to warrant your distress. I know your lady has a strong connection to the gentleman, so it was not too difficult a supposition." His uncle's arched eyebrow caused Darcy to remember himself, it would not do to worry his uncle unduly.

"Yes, she is related to my new interest in the gentleman, but that is all I am willing to say on the issue." He said once he had regained control of his emotions.

"Well, I will let it be for now. Although, I will say how disappointed I am that I could not persuade my son to court the lady. She would have made a lovely daughter-in-law. But he was adamant that you had a prior claim to the lady's affections. So I suppose, I must be content with having her as my niece." Darcy knew his uncle was just trying to discompose him. In that, he was very much like Richard. "To the matter of Lord Durham, he is of no concern. He has some mild political aspirations, but I detect it is only so that he might gain some monetary benefits. He has not been loud for or against any of my proposed actions so I have neglected him. Mr Stanley, on the other hand, is a gentleman I am told you will be gaining a closer connection with and I must say I am very happy to hear that. His father has very high hopes for him and I share his hopes. He is a very stable, level-headed gentleman."

"What would be needed to make things uncomfortable for Lord Durham?" Darcy asked.

"Uncomfortable? Why would you desire his discomfort? He is very harmless I tell you." When Darcy did not answer he continued, "very well, Lord Durham has the usual supporters. Mr Hobbs, Mr Jefferson, Lord Huddleston, Lord Keighley and a few more whose names escape me. If they could be persuaded to withdraw their support, he would be greatly discomforted. But you might find that you have greater success if you include Mr Stanley in your endeavours. Like I said, he is very respected."

"Thank you. The gentlemen you spoke of are known to me and Lord Keighley, desires a match with Charlotte, I am sure I can persuade him to support me."

"Will you need my help in this endeavour?"

Darcy thought on the matter for some time, then replied, "no, I do not believe that would be necessary. I think just your name would suffice."

"I am glad to be of service."

"Thank you for your help uncle."

Darcy stayed awhile longer to discuss the plans his uncle had for the Matlock lands and then took his leave. He returned home after his visit with his uncle, he had an appointment with his solicitor. Mr Thomas had served his family well and could be trusted with such a delicate issue.

"Thank you, Thomas, for seeing me," Darcy said once the gentleman had taken his seat.

"I am happy to be of service. But I must say this is by far your strangest request." Mr Thomas was a short ageing man who had a way with numbers.

"Yes, I can appreciate that. But I am sure you are not here to tell me it cannot be done."

"The issue is not whether it is possible, but rather if it is legal. You asked for Change of Custody papers. While that is not out of the ordinary, I have to question whether your means of persuading this individual to hand over custody would be legal."

"I have no intention to coerce the gentleman. But rather to inform him of what is in his best interest."

Mr Thomas removed his rather unique spectacles and cleaned them, before replying "that rather sounds like coercion to me."

"I assure you, I am doing what is right here."

"I do not doubt that. I would not help you if I did." Mr Thomas declared. "But it might be best to appeal to the courts and have the gentleman declared unfit."

Darcy shook his head. "That would invite scandal, I will avoid that where possible."

"But the issue is. If this gentleman signs these papers. If he should outlive you, he could turn around and challenge the legality of these papers."

"Then, I had better ensure that I do not die before him."

"With all due respect, that is not an intelligent response."

"I know. Which is why I want my will amended. When I marry Lady Rockwood, I become the boy's guardian. But should I die, it will be in my will that Colonel Fitzwilliam becomes the boy's legal guardian along with his mother. Should Lord Durham outlive me, he can challenge the Colonel if he wishes. But I think he will find it is not in his interest to do so."

"And if the Colonel should die? He is, after all, an active soldier."

"Then the guardianship will pass to the Viscount. Once Lord Durham signs these papers, he will have to outlive every male member of my family before he can gain control of this boy and his inheritance. You are the mathematician, what is the probability of that?"

Mr Thomas smiled and said with great pride. "I do not think the heir to the throne is better protected than this boy."

"He and his mother are deserving of such a protection."

"Yes, I read the investigator's report. It is unfortunate, but mismanagement of a ward's inheritance is not uncommon. Well, here you have it. The papers are to be signed by Lord Durham and by his lawyers, so there can be no suggestion of duress. If he does so and his lawyers do likewise, it will be harder for it to be challenged. I suggest you be very persuasive."

"It will be my pleasure," Darcy said taking the papers. Thomas was right, he would be operating in the grey areas of the law. But to go to court and challenge Lord Durham's guardianship would be a long process, that would invite a scandal. If he was unsuccessful, Elizabeth might be willing to do so, if she knew the level of Lord Durham's duplicity. But he had to wonder at the nerve of that man, to steal from a small boy and then make advances on his mother. But Darcy had to temper his anger or he will not be fit to be in Elizabeth's presence and he had promised Georgiana he would accompany her on her call.

* * *

Darcy's endeavour to discredit Lord Durham had not gone as smoothly as he expected. He had approached the gentlemen his uncle had suggested, although he could not speak directly about what he required from them. But they gave the impression that they should be willing to help with whatever he desired for a price. Although he had expected this endeavour to cost him, dealing with such unscrupulous men was distasteful. So he had decided to seek Mr Stanley's help in the matter. His previous acquaintance with the gentleman had been brief and perfunctory. Mr Stanley had been praised regularly by his uncle Henry, and usually, that would have endeared him to the gentleman. But, Mr Stanley was a politician so Darcy had kept his distance. But they were going to be brothers and so Darcy had been making an effort to become better acquainted with him. Although he was a politician, he was without guile and Darcy had no trouble believing him to be that great orator his uncle declared him to be. Darcy could tell that his affections for Miss Bennet were genuine, they complimented one another but were not truly opposites. He reflected her character with greater intensity, so where she was gentle and inviting, he was patient and engaging.

As his carriage stopped on Harley Street, he was still unsure how he would approach the gentleman and how much information the gentleman would expect from him before he offered his assistance.

"Thank you for receiving me Mr Stanley," Darcy said after he was shown into the gentleman's study.

"Please call me Stanley. I am happy to be of service. Although your request was rather vague." Stanley stated as he sat down across from Mr Darcy, and each gentleman measured the other. "I am acquainted with the gentlemen on your list, and it is within my capacity to ask for their assistance. But I must ask, what do I need their assistance for?"

"I can appreciate I have given you very little information, and I am about to ask more from you, but I can tell you no more."

"Will this have anything to do with Lady Rockwood?" Mr Stanley asked and Darcy nodded. "Jane has been worried about her sister. Very well, Mr Darcy, you have my assistance." Darcy was relieved, he would be happy to call this gentleman his brother.

"The people on the list I gave to you, are those I am informed have it in their power to make things uncomfortable, politically, for Lord Durham. My uncle has informed me that you are aware of the others who should be considered."

"Yes. If any or all of these people were to remove their support from Lord Durham, things would be very uncomfortable for him very quickly. I can think of a few other principle people whose support to the gentleman, should not be ignored. Can you tell me a little more about why we desire Lord Durham's discomfort?"

"He has grossly mismanaged Nettleham," Darcy said after a while. "Elizabeth does not know of this, I will tell her when the time comes, but for now, I want to ensure the mismanagement stops." Stanley was not surprised to hear this, he had expected as much. For he could think of nothing else that would induce, Mr Darcy to seek Lord Durham's discomfort. When he considered how much Jane loved her nephew, and how it would break her gentle heart to find their trust had been betrayed, Stanley too was filled with rage and a desire for Lord Durham's discomfort.

"What are your intentions?"

"To inform Lord Durham that it would be in his best interest, politically and financially to sign over Philip's guardianship and the management of Nettleham to me."

"Well, I will accompany you when you meet him. We need not bother these men. My support and that of your uncles' are all the persuasion we will need." Darcy was about to protest, but then he realised that he was not the only one of them who cared for Elizabeth and her son.

"Thank you." Darcy extended his hand and Stanley shook it.

"I would do the same for any of my sisters."

* * *

Darcy and Stanley had sent their cards to Lord Durham and the next day the gentleman received them. He was very jovial for a man who had propositioned Darcy's fiancée and threatened to take her son away from her.

"Gentlemen, I hear congratulations are in order. But what can I do for you both?" Lord Durham said, welcoming them into his study.

"You can sign this," Darcy said as he presented the papers. Lord Durham did not take them straight away. He had initially blanched on seeing what they were, then he took some time to calm himself before he reacted.

"And why would I sign this."

"Because it is in your best interest to do so. I will like to make this very clear to you My Lord. This is not a threat. Please be assured of that fact. But you should know that it is in our power to ensure that every door in the House of Lords is closed to you. Furthermore, we can ensure that you are laughed out of even the House of Commons. But I say again, this is not a threat."

"Who do you gentlemen think you are?" Lord Durham exclaimed. "I am Lord Durham, the 3rd Earl of Durham and I will not be threatened." He tried to intimidate the gentlemen, by rising from his seat and bringing himself to his fullest height and squaring his shoulders. But, even as they remained seated, the gentlemen were unmoved.

"I do believe, Mr Darcy has tried to assure you that he was in no way threatening you, My Lord. I can attest to that." Mr Stanley said, with humour.

"These will not hold in court." He said discarding the papers.

"There will be no need to go to court. You will not want it to be public knowledge that you have stolen seven thousand pounds from a three-year-old boy and a widow. That would, most certainly, ensure that every door is closed to you. Your mistake, my Lord, was assuming you would always be Lady Rockwood's only protector. You should also know that it is within my power to collect all your debts and demand satisfaction. Believe me, it would cost Pemberley nothing to do so. But yet again, this is not a threat."

"I see how it is. She sends you here because she does not want to invite scandal. Well, I am at my leisure, gentlemen and I can ask you to do your worst." He said finally taking his seat and crossing his arms.

"Lady Rockwood knows nothing of your theft, I had thought to spare her that knowledge. But we both know she is strong enough to handle such news. If need be. And you must know, my Lord, she is not without protection from a scandal. She has the support of Lady Matlock, Lady Julia, Lady Northwick"

"Lady Ledford," Mr Stanley said, adding his mother's name.

"Lady Ledford and so many others, so I say to you, bring on your scandal. I have always admired how it merely takes the words of a few intelligent women and all of London society can sing the same tune. They will call for your head and I would be more than happy to oblige them. But yet again, this is not a threat. Believe me, my Lord, you will know when I am threatening you. I have come here to apprise you of what is in your best interest. So, I suggest you seek legal counsel. Sign those papers, have your lawyers do likewise and then send them to me in pristine condition. I want to have no cause to ever see your face again." With that said the gentlemen got up and left.

"That was rather fun." Mr Stanley said as they sat in the carriage. Darcy laughed, it rather was.

* * *

Of course, he signed the papers and his lawyer returned them to Darcy. So Darcy forwarded them to Mr Thomas to continue the legal process. It was done; Philip was free and so was she. He wanted to tell her straight away and, indeed, he had searched for her in his home before he realised she was not there, yet. As he sat on the piano stool, he realised he could not give it to her just yet. He wanted to earn her love, not buy it and he most certainly did not want her gratitude. So he would wait until she loved him. He hoped he would not have to wait long.

Darcy went to Hertfordshire with a full heart, counting the days when they would marry. He counted the days when they would be a family. There was no doubt of it, he loved her son. He was the most lively, inquisitive and amazing boy he had ever met. From the second they entered Hertfordshire it had been his duty and pleasure, to entertain him. In this endeavour, he had been helped by a very willing Colonel, Mr Stanley and Mr Barker when they came for the wedding. The Colonel was quick to earn the boy's approval for he carried a sword. Which he had at one point, foolishly, given to Philip.

They spent time together as a family and planned for their immediate future together. They had decided whilst all of London society went from London to Bath, they would remain in London. The war with France made a trip to the continent, not feasible. They had no desire for an extended stay away from the rest of their family and so would only stay away for a fortnight. Jane would take Philip to Nettleham and when they returned to Pemberley he could come to them.

* * *

The day of his wedding was not the happiest day of Mr Darcy's life. But he did not despair at that thought, he had the rest of his life with her, and he believed the happiest day of his life was not so far out of reach. So he was very grateful that, on the 15th of May the year of our Lord 1810, Lady Rockwood became Mrs Elizabeth Darcy. Richard had stood up with him and Jane had stood up with her. The small parish at Longbourn was full to the brim. He doubted whether Hertfordshire had seen so many members of peerage and gentry amongst the quiet society to be found in Meryton. Almost all the members of his extended family had attended, but Lady Catherine had been told that she was not to attend under any circumstance. Although she had declared that a King's ransom would not induce her to attend, she had queried the Collins for a second-hand account of the proceedings. Mrs Collins had insisted on attending her dear friend's wedding despite her husband and his patronage's objections and so, for the first time in their marriage she asked her husband to choose. Luckily for them all, he made the right choice.

Never once had Darcy considered the solemn vows couples said to one another, but as he repeated after his uncle, he considered what he had promised to do. He had promised to live with her as God commanded in the Holy estate of Matrimony. So why did society expect him to live as they commanded? He had promised to love, comfort and honour her and he would endeavour to do so for the rest of his life. He had also promised to forsake all others and keep himself only unto her. So, why did many, even in the church, accept infidelity between spouses. Making discretion the only requirement. Never had the hypocrisy of society been so clear to him than when he stood before the woman he loved and pledge to serve her. He would do all he could to assure her of his love and would never demand obedience but would endeavour to gain her trust, so that she might follow where he led.

After enduring the wedding breakfast. They said their farewells to their families and friends. When it was time for them to say farewell to Philip, they did so in private. He understood her difficulty in letting go of her son. Mother and son had never been apart. He had suggested that they bring Philip along with them. But she had refused, she had been adamant that they both needed time to get to know one another and Philip would distract from that. When she had finally put the boy down, Darcy picked him up. Although not seen as proper for a gentleman to show such forms of affection, he knew it was important for himself and for Philip that he, at times, showed more affection than was proper. He repeated Elizabeth's admonishment that he be a good boy for his aunt Jane and reminded him that when they returned they would all enjoy Pemberley together. He received, for his efforts, a very warm hug.

"Mrs Darcy." He said proudly as he helped her into their carriage. After they had said their final goodbyes. As he took his place beside her, she took his hand and only let go to remove his glove and hers. It was a long time before he required that hand, and even then he could not bring himself to separate their interlocked fingers. It was not the most comfortable position, but in the privacy of the carriage, he realised that their life together had started and he had to say it was off to a good start.

 **P.S. There was a Baron Darcy de Darcy with a French lineage during King Henry VIII's reign. Lord Thomas Darcy did lose his head for his alignment with the Pilgrimage of grace. But that is where facts end and fiction begins. I liked the idea of giving Mr Darcy a backstory so I borrowed Lord Darcy's history and I wanted to be romantic to I added to it.**


	21. Chapter 21

Volume 3

Chapter 21

Two weeks after her wedding, Elizabeth could say she knew Fitzwilliam Darcy. Although she did not know what political party he supported or what his thoughts were regarding the French revolution, those details did not signify. She knew her husband in the ways most important to her, and she was happy with what she knew.

Her thoughts turned back to the carriage ride after their wedding breakfast. They had said nothing to one another, content to just hold hands. But after a while, he turned to her and took both her hands.

"Elizabeth." He began softly. "I know things are not perhaps what they should be between us. I want you to know that it is my desire that we come to know one another and develop affection for each other before we share a marriage bed." She could not ignore the fact that his ears turned bright pink.

"With all due respect sir, I do not see how intimacy between two married individuals can hinder their efforts to get to know one another," she said boldly. "But I can understand if you desire to wait; it will be as you wish."

He stared at her with wide eyes. Mortified by the expression of surprise on his face, she looked away. She knew he understood what she had said and was glad she had made her wishes known. But she did not want to imagine how unseemly she must have sounded. The truth, she admitted to herself, was that she had looked forward to being intimate with her new husband. And now he knew it too

Elizabeth was not a maiden; Philip was ample proof of that and her first marriage had not lacked in passion. Andrew had always said he liked that about her and though she strived mightily not to think about the intimacies she had shared with Andrew, she could not help it. She considered it a blessing that the unleashing of such thoughts in her mind somehow fostered a greater desire for her new husband. But after two years of abstinence, she looked forward to her wedding night. But as they sat awkwardly, not looking at anything in particular, she fretted what Mr Darcy would think of her. She wondered if he was of the persuasion that women should not enjoy or look forward to marital intimacies.

When she had been introduced to such intimacies it had been embarrassing and a little unpleasant. But Andrew had treated her with gentle and loving patience. In time she had come to enjoy and look forward to her husband's visits to her chambers. At times when she had felt far from her husband, the intimacies they shared had reminded her that she was loved and needed. She looked forward now to intimacy with Mr Darcy, not only so she could satisfy her desires, but because she understood its amazing capacity to bring two people closer.

Despite turning their discourse to other topics. the awkwardness of their first conversation cast a shadow on the rest of the carriage ride and indeed for the rest of the day. When they arrived at Darcy House, her husband took her on a tour of the premises; Elizabeth made a point of expressing her appreciation of all that she saw. The architecture of the house was no different than other grand London homes, but the décor was very pleasing, the house well-kept and the staff cheerful and genuinely welcoming.

Afterwards, over refreshments, the new couple made a start at getting to know one another. Elizabeth started with trivial things, how he took his tea, what his favourite food was, and then progressed to fond memories. When they could finally relax in each other's company, she introduced the topic of his mother. During their engagement, she had always heard about his father. Georgiana had shared fond stories of a happy, jovial, generous man and Fitzwilliam had praised him as a sound and fair master. But Lady Anne was never mentioned. Georgiana never knew her mother, and so had no memories to share. But for Mr Darcy it was different, so when the right opportunity arose, she encouraged him to talk about her. Those memories of love and loss were bittersweet, and she pitied Darcy's pain as she drew them out of him, but as he talked, she could see the barricades of his heart begin to fall away.

As he opened up to her she became ashamed of her early frustrations at his lack of social graces. From his memories she could tell that he was very much like Philip; he was loved and spoilt by his mother. The natural reserve he had shared with Lady Anne, made it sometimes difficult for him to understand his father. But he had been a happy and sweet boy. Until he lost his mother to childbed fever.

George Darcy had loved his wife. So when he lost her, he made the very common mistake parents can sometimes fall into. In his grief, he shut himself away from his children, and so creating the idea, in the young boy's mind, that he was somehow responsible for his mother's death. When his father had finally come out of his self-imposed seclusion, Fitzwilliam was happy to have his father back. But the intelligent young boy quickly noticed that when he spoke of his mother, his father was uncomfortable. So he stopped speaking of her and so at the tender age of twelve, he nurtured his reserve because he felt it encouraged a relationship with his father. It did not, but by the time they both realised that, it was too late. His father had George Wickham for jovial company and Fitzwilliam was comfortable with his reserve.

As the evening drew to a close the awkwardness that had settled in the background, now took centre stage. Elizabeth had never been so high on alert and she had never anticipated something so much. So after she dismissed her maid Lucy, she waited to see if her husband would come to her.

He came, but Elizabeth could sense his hesitation. That he was a good and honourable man she had always known. But never had it been more clearly illustrated than when she could see on his face, his desire to have his wife and his desire to wait, struggling to take precedence. So, to encourage him, she initiated their first kiss and she never let him forget that fact. Luckily for the two of them, he needed no further encouragement.

So Elizabeth knew Fitzwilliam. She knew that he took his tea with more sugar than was wise. She knew he loved cakes and biscuits, especially those made by Pemberley's cook. She knew he broke his right arm, after falling from a tree when he was eight. A memory, to his surprise, they both shared. But she had broken her arm at age six. She also knew his mother was the only one who had called him Fitzwilliam and so she decided to do so, for she appreciated his full name just as his mother had done.

But their time together provided her with information about her husband that she would have liked to believe no one else knew. She knew his ears were very sensitive. She knew that he loved her dark curls and that he was more than happy to relinquish the reins and let her lead. The more she learned about him, the more confident she became that their intimate knowledge of each other took nothing away from their endeavours to know each other better as friends, nor did it create any awkwardness between them when they were clothed and out of their bedchambers.

Her time with him alone was wonderful. She enjoyed their long walks and even longer talks and when he sat to read to her, the timbre of his voice brought her comfort and a sense of security. All of this culminated to reveal to her, what she should have realised a long time ago. She liked him, he made her happy, and she knew that she made him happy too. So when they entered their carriage once again, to journey to their permanent home Pemberley, she looked forward to their future with great anticipation.

* * *

As the carriage bumped its way north, Elizabeth was tempted to accept Fitzwilliam's offer to stop at Nettleham first. She had earlier explained that it was important for her to settle into Pemberley before Philip would join them. Whilst in London she had missed her son, but never painfully; knowing he was safe and happy at Nettleham, and that her energies should be focused on her marriage, she forbore from dwelling on him. But knowing that they were passing so near to him, the soft ache of yearning bloomed into a throbbing pain that brought her to the edge of tears. So they had agreed together to dispatch a note with one of their footmen to Jane. Philip would join them a day, at most two days, after they had arrived.

As soon as the carriage entered into Derbyshire, Fitzwilliam opened up, all reticence dissolving in his eagerness to share his love of his homeland. There was not a landmark he did not talk about and the history of this county was told to Elizabeth in great detail. Much of what he said was soon forgotten by Elizabeth as she stared at his face brightened by his delight; she enjoyed his delight. Together they anticipated her first glimpse of Pemberley. When he stopped the carriage and helped her to alight, she was mesmerised. As she gazed on Pemberley in all its glory, and on the lovely grounds that connected it to the farmlands surrounding it she could finally understand the deference society showed to members of the Darcy family. More than that, she understood why he paid so much attention to duty. Pemberley was a great responsibility and she desired to make him proud in her management of his estate. She earnestly proclaimed her delight that this was to be her home, and if she was a little daunted at the responsibilities she would have to shoulder, she endeavoured not to show it.

As they approach the front entrance, she found the most delightful surprise. For there, very impatiently awaiting their carriage to stop, was her son. She looked to her husband to thank him for such a wonderful gift, but he shook his head. This was not of his making. Before she could inquire further, the carriage stopped and Fitzwilliam helped her out.

To their even greater surprise, Philip cried with great delight, "Mama! Papa!" Letting go of his aunt's hand he raced down the steps toward them. She had never decided how she wanted her son to refer to Mr Darcy and so he had mimicked her in calling him Mr Darcy. She flinched inwardly, her thoughts flashing for a moment to Andrew, but her hands were quick to reach for him and in a moment he was snuggled in her arms. Georgiana was only mildly more dignified than Philip in welcoming her brother and Jane gracefully came to join them. It was a warm family reunion.

"Georgiana invited us to Pemberley after you had left and I thought it most sensible to come," Jane explained. "For there was no sense in Philip getting settled in Nettleham only to be called to Pemberley."

Elizabeth set Philip down and turned to embrace her new sister. "Thank you, my dear. This was a wonderful surprise. We had sent Jack to Nettleham to escort Philip and Jane here, but I am delighted to find he is already here." It warmed her heart to see her son run, beaming, to Fitzwilliam who picked him up and swung him high in the air. They would do very well indeed. After regaining his footing, Philip took his mother by the hand and pulled her towards the house.

"Come see, mama. It is so big," he said to their amusement. He had no memory of Nettleham and so in comparison to Longbourn and Purvis Lodge, Pemberley must be very big indeed.

Elizabeth wanted nothing better than to explore the place her son had clearly made home. But she had her duty. She was to be mistress here, and already her behaviour had been less than dignified. So she replied, "Will you show me later, my dear? Mama has things she must do now." She followed him inside where Laura collected him. Then accepting Fitzwilliam's arm, she turned so that he might introduce her to the assembled servants.

Pemberley was indeed big, even in comparison to Nettleham. The interior was light and open with a very modern look to it. Mr Darcy had informed her that much of the house had been updated by his grandfather, an admirer of the Palladian style. The decorations and wall coverings were a credit to his mother's taste and Elizabeth had no trouble believing she would be very comfortable.

She was introduced to Mrs Reynolds and Mr Keith, Pemberley's housekeeper and butler. They had not discussed what would happen to the servants at Nettleham. Since the house would not be used regularly, she knew they would have to let some of the servants go. With the current economic situation, she did not want to imagine what it could mean for the servants. He had asked her if John could not live there, but she had rejected that choice. She had told him that she could not trust John with the management of the estate. As she was not yet ready to lease the house, and not willing to let loyal servants go, they had decided to postpone any decision.

Some time passed before all the relevant introductions had been made and Fitzwilliam proudly led his wife to the family apartments that they might refresh themselves. Mrs Reynolds had offered Elizabeth a second maid, Mary, who would help out until Lucy knew her way around the house. The offer was graciously accepted. So all of them went to inspect the mistress's chambers, including Philip, who clung to his mother even as he strove to show her his best behaviour. Elizabeth was happy with all she saw, from the curtains to the rug beneath her feet. The style was perhaps not what she would have chosen, but she saw nothing that needed to be changed immediately. She turned to her audience to give her approval and assured her husband that she would not hesitate to change that which did not suit her. She collected Philip from the corner of the room and placed him on her very large bed. His laughter was music to her ears.

"What do you think of mama's room?" she asked, giving him her full attention.

"I like your fringey pillows, but mama, my room has pictures of dogs!" She turned to Fitzwilliam with a quizzical brow. She had not expected the nursery to be available just yet.

"The nursery was readied along with the mistress's suite." he said sheepishly.

"Well, I am very grateful for your care." She turned back to Philip and asked, "And how do you like your room?"

"Very well. May I show you? There is so much here, aunt Jane and I got lost and aunt Georgie found us."

"I am glad to hear you have been well entertained. I have missed you," she said as she kissed his head. After she heard a little more of his adventures, she called for Laura to take him. Georgiana and Fitzwilliam excused themselves, leaving her and Jane to a more private reunion.

"I hope you do not mind my teaching Philip to call Mr Darcy papa?" Jane asked as Lucy helped Elizabeth out of her clothes.

"I know it is not sensible for me to raise any opposition, so I will not." She said as her pins were removed. "After all, he his Philip's father after a fashion." She paused then added. "I do not know, Jane. I just wish he had had more time with Andrew. I wonder if he will even remember him."

Jane hugged her sister, even as she stood in her chemise and stays. "We all do. But he is blessed that despite the tragedy, he is not without a father."

"You are right - of course, you are." Jane left her sister to complete her toilet and went to look in on her nephew. She had faith that her sister would come to appreciate all that she had.

* * *

Dinner that day was a wonderful affair. Elizabeth did not have to worry that her son would be left out. At Purvis Lodge, it had already been established that he took family meals with his parents, in their more intimate dining rooms. Since Fitzwilliam made no opposition, it became an established custom in the Darcy household.

The conversation flowed freely and even Philip contributed to it. He had learned from Mrs Hopkins that he must never interrupt an adult whilst they were talking. But in the excitement of their reunion, none of them could remember that rule of propriety. So when it was time for him to be collected by his nurse, Elizabeth did not envy her the task of settling him down for the night.

The adults continued their conversation in the drawing room, and Elizabeth received an account, from and adult perspective, of all that had gone on in her absence. She was happy to see the sweet blush that spread over her sister's face, as she asked about Mr Stanley. Their engagement had given them the opportunity to correspond and it was clear that her sister took full advantage of that privilege. The wedding had been set for the 5th of August, as Mrs Bennet needed that long to plan the wedding. She had declared Elizabeth's simple nuptials a hasty, undignified affair and refused to allow Jane or Mary to follow in Elizabeth's footsteps. In her defence, the bride's dress was a simple design with the barest hint of lace and despite the abundance of flowers in bloom, only white roses and orchids had been seen at the parish.

Mary had decided to stay at Longbourne with Mrs Bennet to plan for the upcoming double wedding. Despite Jane's misgivings, Elizabeth knew that Mary was happy to deal with her mother alone. The sisters knew that Jane could only oppose her mother on a limited number of occasions. So Mary had taken it upon herself to ensure that their mother would not turn their wedding into a spectacle. Since Mrs Bennet had never cultivated Mary's good opinion, she knew of no way to domineer over her sensible middle child. So she looked forward to Jane's return.

As their evening drew to a close, Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam retired first, claiming fatigue from their journey. Although it was some time before they actually fell asleep in each other's arms

* * *

Darcy was not prone to overindulgence; it was not in his nature. He enjoyed the simple things in life; his first cup of coffee in the morning, a bit of new knowledge gleaned from his steward or a tenant, watching the sun set over Pemberley's well-kept farmlands, and quiet evenings at home with a book whilst his sister played the pianoforte. These things had given him the greatest joy imaginable. Or so he had thought. As he looked into the sleeping face of his wife of two weeks and a day, all of his earlier pleasures and comforts seemed to pale in comparison. Things had not gone according to plan - how could it be otherwise when Elizabeth was involved? But he had no cause to repine.

Of all the ways he had thought to describe his wife, he had never dreamt to use the word passionate. It was the way of society to assume that ladies could not be passionate and if they were, it was seen as a flaw to be corrected. How very wrong they were. He had not lost sight of his goal of earning her love. So as he had worshipped her body last night, he poured his heart and soul into showing her the love he still struggled to express in the presence of others.

He returned his attention to her face as he felt her stir. Her eyes gazed contentedly at him, then blinked wide as she took in her new surroundings. "Good morning, my dear - we are home." Once again, they had woken up sharing a bed. It was not done amongst the gentry, but he made up his mind that he did not care. To see her confused smile and feel her warm shoulder against his, were treasures he would not relinquish because of the dictates of society.

They surveyed their surroundings. He had changed the mistress's suite in preparation for her arrival because he could not imagine wooing his wife in the room where his mother had died. Knowing that Elizabeth was very colourful in her style and taste, he had designed the room as best he could to reflect her personality. It pleased him that it pleased her.

"Would you care for a tour of Pemberley today?" He asked when she had stopped stretching.

"That might take days." Her voice was dry. Tomorrow he would request a glass of water to be placed by her bedside.

"Perhaps, we should start with the rooms opened to visitors and make our way slowly through the rest."

"At that pace we will be finish at Christmas time." She replied and smiled.

He took her into his arms and said with humour, "you might be right there." Before he leaning in to kiss her.

They were both early risers, so he suggested a stroll through the garden whilst they awaited the rest of their family. She happily accepted and he led the way. That she was delighted with everything she saw, he could easily tell. When they reached the bench, erected in his mother's honour she sat down. Feeling chivalrous he picked a flower and presented it to her. She laughed at that and said, "Fitzwilliam, what will your gardeners think of you disturbing their handiwork?"

"I doubt they would complain. In any case, flowers are meant to be admired."

"Admired yes, not mutilated." She replied with a playful smile.

"If my lady does not appreciate the gift she may return it." She shooed away his hand and placed the flower in her hair.

"I do appreciate it, thank you." He joined her on the bench and soon they fell into easy conversation. She was not yet bored of his stories about Pemberley so he described the parks and the woods.

The sun had started to warm their feet before they returned to the house. Philip was the first one to notice their presence. "Mama has a flower in her hair." He said then laughed at himself.

"Yes, Fitzwilliam gave it to me." She said very proudly as he escorted her to the family room.

When they had finished their meal, he began the tour of the house. Knowing her to be an avid reader, he started with the library, throwing open the double doors and bowing her in. He cherished the delight in her eyes as she turned on the threshold and exclaimed, "Oh, Jane would you look at this! Papa would love this room!"

Jane responded, "I rather think he would lock himself inside and refuse to come out even for meals."

She laughed. "Yes, you are right – he might even sleep in here." She turned to him and said, "What a treasure trove! It is a credit to you all." The library was a work of many generations and he was proud of it. He was glad she appreciated it. Not as a symbol of wealth, but for the value of each work. He chuckled as she moved from shelf to shelf stroking the spine of some books and pulling others out.

"My brother also loves this room," Georgiana spoke up. "Elizabeth, you will soon understand the difficulties I face when I try to get him a gift. I know he loves of books, but it is impossible to know what he has already acquired for himself." There was no longer any hesitations to the interactions between the sisters. Elizabeth had gently but persistently encouraged his sister; introducing all them to the wittier side of Georgiana.

"Is there a catalogue or index of the books here?" she turned to him to ask.

"The last count stopped at over a thousand." At their surprise, he said, "as I like to say, it is the work of many generations and still in progress. Although not all of Pemberley's books can be found here. Some are in my study and others in our private apartments. And across the hall here", he said, leading the way to a second room, "are volumes in other languages and musical scores."

After some time, they moved on from the library. Georgiana proudly showed off her music room. She talked about his recent gift with great pride and he blushed to see the look of admiration from the three ladies. He showed her his study, which had been his father's, and then the room his mother had used as her study. The curtains were drawn and the furniture covered; he had not thought to have the room readied for use, let alone refurbish it. But he was glad of his neglect, for the moment the ladies walked into the room they talked of nothing but colours, curtains and cushions. He recognised her desire to decorate for what it was, she was making his home hers. They went to the nursery next and were happy to be entertained by Philip for some time.

Their tour was not the least bit logical. They visited the rooms by suggestion and interest. They climbed up and down the august Pemberley stairs more times than they could count. By the time Darcy and Elizabeth had reached the portrait gallery, they had left Jane and Georgiana far behind.

"We must have your painting commissioned." he said as they admired his ancestors.

"Oh, I hated having my portrait done. It is a waste of time. Could we not merely send for the one that hangs in Nettleham? It will not be missed."

He was unsure if she spoke in jest. So he said, "I rather hoped you and Philip would sit for one together. After all, you did not come to Pemberley alone." She looked at him and smiled sweetly.

"Very well, it will be as you wish."

Her eyes caught the portrait of a medieval warrior with an embroidered cloak and chain-mail skirt.

"This is.." He started to explain.

"The Comte!" She interrupted. "with his helmet under his arm. And look, painted behind him are French vines and an English rosebush. Bishop Darcy told me something of the Darcy family history. It is a great love story. But I have to wonder, how much of it is true?"

"To my knowledge all of it is true. It is called the curse of the Darcys." When she frowned he expanded. "My father told me to choose my wife carefully, for we Darcy men are made or broken by our wives."

"And I suppose your father himself proved that?"

Fitzwilliam laughed. "Yes, he did. But he is not the only one. As a boy, I was told many tales by my uncles, of bad luck following Darcy men who chose poorly.

"No wonder you would not marry Miss Bingley," she quipped and he laughed even louder.

"Exactly."

"Do you have any interest in regaining the family title?" she asked as they exited the portrait gallery.

"No." He said honestly. "Do you have any interest in being Lady Darcy?" He had to ask. After all, she had given up a title."

"As formidable as Lady Darcy could be, I am sufficiently honoured to be Mrs Darcy," she replied, so he took her hand and kissed it.

It was as he suspected.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

The rest of their lives could not solely be about quiet mornings and romantic gestures. The business of living life soon invaded Pemberley and it was instigated by Miss Bennet's exit from the estate. Three days after their arrival, a tearful Philip, a slightly tearful Elizabeth and the remaining Darcys waved goodbye to Jane. As soon as her sister's carriage road away, Elizabeth started her campaign to be the best mistress she could be. She handed her son over to Mrs Hopkins and went to attend her meeting with Mrs Reynolds. Pemberley had functioned without a mistress for over a decade and by all accounts, it had run well. So Elizabeth understood that she could not enter in and declare Pemberley as hers, she needed Mrs Reynolds and she was more than happy to accept help. By the way, the older woman was praised by both her husband and her sister, Elizabeth could tell that Mrs Reynold straddled the line between servant and family. As she sat in the blue room, which she had made her temporary study whilst the other room was being refurbished, she felt very anxious. This woman quite literally held the keys to Pemberley and would determine how she was to be received by the servants.

Although her interactions with the servants, thus far, had been brief. She had tried to make a good impression where she could. She was known and loved by Pemberley's gardeners, they were usually the first servants she saw in the morning. When the weather permitted, they began their morning together with a walk in the garden and so she had been introduced to the servants who tended to the garden. They wanted to impress their new mistress and were quickly impressed by her.

"Mrs Reynolds, thank you for seeing me. Please take a seat." She said once she had been joined by her.

"Thank thee, ma'am." She said as she sat.

"I know that some time to adjust will be needed." Elizabeth began. "You have been in charge of Pemberley for so long and it is not my intention to make unnecessary changes."

"With respect ma'am," the housekeeper said gently. "Pemberley has looked forward to having a mistress and we welcome any changes you wish to make." Elizabeth was happy to receive her reply and she could understand why Mrs Reynolds was so appreciated by the family. Although Elizabeth had no intentions to make any changes at present. She never wanted to feel like she could not. She never wanted to feel as though she would be a burden if she made any suggestions.

"I am glad to hear that." She admitted. "As to the running of the house, I will like to know what the household routine is? Mr Darcy as given me the household accounts and I intend to have a look at them."

"Well, ma'am. Lady Anne had her schedule for the house. I do believe it would still be in the study."

"Yes, I imagine there was a way the house was run, during Lady Anne's time. But that was over a decade ago and I can imagine there have been changes made as the house and family changed. I would prefer that information." Mrs Reynolds smiled at that. "I understand if it has not been documented, I am happy to observe." She reassured her.

"Nah, ma'am. I have things written down." Mrs Reynolds said confidently.

They discussed a little of what was the established mode of working and how many servants worked in the house. The number was large but that was to be expected, Pemberley was large. Like in many old estates, many of the families serving had been doing so for generations. Pemberley was good to them and so they were happy to serve. Further discussion about the running of the house told Elizabeth that Mrs Reynolds had high expectations, but she was very fair. So she had no trouble believing that she would be able to develop a close relationship with Mrs Reynolds. She requested the names of the servants that served upstairs and those who were allowed into the family's apartments.

They also discussed the estate's tenants. But in this area, she found Mrs Reynolds not so knowledgeable. Although she knew the families by name, she was not aware of any current issues they might have. Elizabeth suspected that in this area she would be useful. Without a mistress, the tenants would have reported any issues to the steward, who would report it to the master. Most tenants would not bother the steward or the master with what could be considered as trivial discomforts. But in reality, with the trials of the time, such minor things added up and soon became the unvoiced reasons why tenants left looking for better prospects. So she decided her next plan of action, would be to make herself known to their tenants.

They ended their meeting and Mrs Reynolds took her on a tour of the servant's quarters. She was impressed with what she saw and Mrs Reynolds was quick to praise her master for his generosity. When they finished the tour, the household maids and menservants were introduced to her. She was surprised to see some Mulatto and Negros amongst them, and she tried not to stare. As she walked passed them, she wondered if Pemberley had previously own slaves. From what she had heard of Fitzwilliam's parents, she thought in unlikely. But she wondered at their presence in the North, she had been told that such people went to London after they had been freed.

There were more names than she had expected, but she knew not to worry. Experience had taught her that, with familiarity, she would learn all of them. It was sad to think many amongst the upper class, considered it unnecessary work to learn the names of their servants and so called all the male servants by one name and the female servants by another. She had not subscribed to such ideals, in her opinion earning ones' living should not deny a person their name.

Lastly, they visited the kitchen. She was not surprised to hear that Philip had already found its location, but she was happy that he had earned the cook's affection. Mrs Roland was not French, like many of the household staff, she had a thick northern accent and had most likely never left Derbyshire. It was refreshing to see, and what Elizabeth suspected of her husband. He would not bow to custom where good sense dictated otherwise.

The rest of her afternoon was spent, reading Mrs Reynolds notes on the household management. She did also look into what Lady Anne had done, but in matters concerning the management of the house, Mrs Reynolds had the superior way. But amongst Lady Anne's notes, where the information regarding the social engagements Pemberley had hosted. Despite her natural reserve, Lady Anne knew her duty to the estate and had ensured that Pemberley occupied its rightful place of prominence in Derbyshire. So Elizabeth determined that she would do likewise, no matter what Fitzwilliam said on the matter.

* * *

When it was time to dress for dinner, Elizabeth realised she had not seen any of her family since they had all waved goodbye to her sister. She stopped at the nursery to get an account of how Philip had behaved and then went to dress for dinner. They kept country hours and so the sun had not set when they sat down to their meal.

Mr Darcy knew nothing of her previous marriage; he had not asked and Elizabeth had not offered. So when he said, "Elizabeth you should not be working so hard, take some time to ease into your role as mistress. You have plenty of time to do so." He could not have known it was the wrong thing to say.

Elizabeth had the good grace to wait until the servants had left, before she said, "Thank you. But as I am mistress here, I will determine how and when I shall fulfil my duties, sir." Her voice was sharper than she had intended and an awkwardness descended on the meal. Unwilling to meet her husband's eyes, she turned to her sister and said, "Tomorrow I will be visiting the tenants, Georgiana. You are more than welcomed to join me." She invited her out of kindness. Her marriage to Mr Darcy meant that Georgiana no longer needed her companion, for it was assumed her new sister would be her companion. So Mrs Annesley had returned to her daughter's house after she had been released from her employment. Georgiana nodded her acquiescence but said nothing. Silence hung heavy in the air, so to fill the room with some conversation, Elizabeth asked Philip about his day and she received a disjointed account of the day. After his rather long soliloquy, where she learnt all the names of all his new wooden horses, they had been Fitzwilliam's old toys, their meal came to an end.

Elizabeth knew she should apologise. But, as most apologies were told with excuses and justifications, she could not apologise. She could not tell him about her past because she was not ready to do so. So she left it to Georgiana to try and defuse the tension, and she managed to do so to some degree. But when their sister finally retired, the couple made an awkward ascent to their rooms. She did not spend time worrying if he would come to her, he did not come and she was glad he did not.

Elizabeth woke up the next day still on her mission. But in a show of unprecedented cowardice, rather than make an apology she resorted to acting as though last night's event had not happened. When she met her husband in the morning room, she greeted him cheerfully and quickly inquired as to his plans for the day. He was silent for a minute before he answered her. Whatever plans he had to show his wife the beauty of his estate was neglected and so he told her of all the work the estate required. Accepting that he would receive no explanation from his wife, Mr Darcy maintained a jovial conversation with her. So when Georgiana and Philip joined them at the table, they could break their fast in a wonderful atmosphere.

Elizabeth was glad Mr Darcy could spare time out of his busy schedule to introduce her to his steward and some of their tenants. The size of the estate meant they could not meet all of their tenants in one day and it certainly could not be done on foot. As he showed her around, Mr Darcy tentatively suggested the need for travelling on horseback and Elizabeth had to agree.

* * *

So they established a routine for her first week at Pemberley. They would break their fast as a family, then visit a little more of the estate. Elizabeth and Georgiana might spend some time with their tenants and then they would return home for lunch. The rest of the afternoon and evening was spent going through some more of Lady Anne's notes or making plans and designs for her study. Like Jane, Georgiana had an eye for design and so the two ladies found an opportunity to bond with one another as they worked.

Elizabeth received a letter from Jane a week after she had left Pemberley. Much of the letter contained praise for Mr Stanley. With Parliament closed for the summer, the gentleman was free to return to the countryside. But he had not returned to his ancestral home in Leicester but had joined Mr Barker at Purvis Lodge. Elizabeth had offered the house to the gentlemen, that they might be closer to their ladies. As there was still a month before their wedding, it would have been cruel to expect, Mr Stanley to court Jane from Leicester and Mr Barker to court Mary from Kent. But there was part of Jane's letter that intrigued her.

 _My dear whilst we were discussing politics – for Robert desires that I broaden my mind and know more of the world in which we live in – he mentioned that a bill had been proposed to introduce the poor law. Oh, it sounds wonderful. For we must and should do what we can to help those who are less fortunate. But Robert says such action will never gain support if more landowners did not stand up and show their support. After all, we must consider France and we do not want such wrong ideas spreading into English society._

 _I know Mr Darcy does not care for politics but perhaps he can do something to help. If you encouraged him._

The rest of her letter contained more praises for Mr Stanley and inquiries into the health and happiness of the people at Pemberley. Elizabeth thought it endearing that Mr Stanley had taken the heavy duty of introducing her gentle and sweet sister to the world. He would be very good for Jane, Elizabeth thought.

She had read something about the Poor Law, for she had developed a habit of taking Fitzwilliam's newspaper after he had finished with it at the breakfast table. The law was to be a means to appease the masses. She remembered one of her many discussions with Lord Scampton, he had declared that an English revolution an inevitability and Elizabeth had been inclined to agree with him. If things did not change.

As she joined Georgiana in the carriage, she thought that such news was in line with their task for the day. They were to visit the Kympton Parish. Lady Anne had helped start a school for the village, and although Fitzwilliam was still its patron, Elizabeth had the impression it was lacking a woman's touch.

She had tried to encourage Georgiana to come along with her, whenever she conducted matters for the estate. For despite her extensive education, Georgiana had no knowledge of what it took for Pemberley to run smoothly and Elizabeth was determined to change that.

"One of the many duties landowners have, is to see to the people on their land," Elizabeth observed as the carriage rode on. "No one will dispute this, but many neglect the practical things that are necessary for the care of their tenants. I am glad your mother started this school. It is right and proper that she did so. It is one of her many legacies I intend to preserve." The young lady smiled at that. "Despite what many will say, the education of the lower class is not to the disadvantage of the gentry. What benefits them, benefits us all. I hope you will remember this if and when you are mistress of your own home." Georgiana assured her that she would and they fell into silence until they arrived at the Parsonage.

It was a well-built and well-maintained house. She had already met the parson, his wife and their little boy. Mr and Mrs Lowell and their young boy, William were a wonderful addition to the company at Pemberley and Elizabeth could already picture Philip playing with the young boy. Although he was slightly older than Philip, Elizabeth saw no hindrance to a friendship between two small boys. But her son, of late, had shown little interest in making friends, so such things would have to be postponed till her son regained his jovial spirits.

Mr Lowell was a kind and gentle man, who clearly cared for the surrounding people. She did at times find it difficult to understand him, for he had originated from North Yorkshire, and his accent was a little stronger than most. But Mrs Lowell was on hand to interpret whenever her husband's passionate speech created some difficulty. Mrs Lowell had been the daughter of a modest country gentleman from the south, and Elizabeth saw in her life the life she might have had. If she had not married so far above her expectations. Together they went to inspect the space that was being used for school. There was not an established building provided, and Elizabeth intended to change that.

As she looked around she saw much that needed improvement, she tentatively asked about the sum of money Mr Darcy had been giving and she was reluctantly told that most of it were given as alms when desperation made such a thing a necessity.

But they were in need of some more resources. She met some of the village children and they were as she expected. Young, underfed and very weary of the great lady who inspected them. Her mothering instincts took over and she managed to make some of them feel at ease. But it was clear that many of them had no dealings with the family at Pemberley. Georgiana tried her best, she spoke as much as she could and mirrored Elizabeth in her engagement, but it was clear that these were things she had never done, and Elizabeth knew it would take more than two weeks to get her feeling comfortable. All in all, the morning was well spent and the ladies soon began calling on each other. Fitzwilliam approved her plans to build a school and soon the men were sent to work.

That night as they sat in the drawing room, Elizabeth shared the contents of Jane's letter with Fitzwilliam.

"Ah – Yes the poor law. Society's great idea on how to stem a revolution." His sarcastic response surprised her.

"Do you disagree with it, brother?" Georgiana challenge.

"Not at all. I just reject the belief that it alone will solve society's problems. If such a thing becomes law, I think you will find the gentry will find some way to regain their money back." He declared.

"And how would that be accomplished?" Elizabeth asked.

"Reducing people's wages for example. I have already heard some gentleman say they will take such actions and it will not stop there, the price of rent will increase too."

"That is dreadful!" Georgiana exclaimed.

"I do hope you will not mention this to Jane, it would crush her." Elizabeth chastised.

"I will not." He said softly then turned and took his sister's hand. "I am sorry to distress you, my dear."

"You did not. In any case, we agreed to honesty even when it is difficult. I want to know more of the world I live in."

"Shall we have some music. To liven the atmosphere." Elizabeth offered as she moved towards the pianoforte. Georgiana joined her on the instrument, per Fitzwilliam's request, and the sister's played a duet. But after some time, Georgiana retired for the night.

Elizabeth could tell her husband was not paying attention to what she was playing, but was instead watching her very intently. He had the look in his eyes that caused her entire body to flush. So in retaliation, she stopped playing and without facing him she took the pins out of her hair. She ran her hand through her hair, shook out her thick curls, then looked at him and smiled sweetly. She was glad to see her actions had the desired effect. His breathing became quicker and he stood from his chair and walked towards her. She resumed her playing as he came to stand behind her. His fingers went into her hair, and even as he untangled the knots in her curls, his actions were gentle. As the music came to its conclusion, he pushed her curls to her right side.

"You will be the death of me." He said in jest as he kissed her neck. She played the final note dramatically before he took her by the hand and led her to his chambers.

* * *

Elizabeth continued with her busy schedule unaware of just who and what she was neglecting. By her third week at Pemberley everyone she desired to please, was pleased; the servants admired her and the tenants thought well of her. She had returned from a visit to the parson and had gone in search of her son. The nursery was located on the third floor and so after climbing Pemberley's many stairs, she was tired and disappointed to find that he was not there.

"Where is Philip?" She inquired from Laura, a little irritated at the maid's look of surprise at her presence in the nursery.

"He is with Mr Darcy ma'am." She said unable to meet her mistress's eyes.

"Do you know where I can find them?" She was embarrassed that she had to ask. But she had no intention of searching every room in the house.

"I believe they are in the stable yard, ma'am". Elizabeth thanked her and went in search of her son. She knew it was irrational to be angry that Philip was not where she had expected him to be. When she finally made it to the stable yard she was tired.

On retrospect, she should have realised what their presence at the stable yard meant. But she had not thought about it, so she was shocked to find her son on top of his pony, with Mr Darcy holding the reins and gently encouraging the boy.

Her shock was like a slap in the face, that quickly turned to anger. How dear he! She thought. It was the ultimate show of high-handedness she had ever seen. He should have asked her permission before the animals were brought from Hertfordshire. She increased her pace to go and confront him. But luckily for everyone concerned, Philip raised his head and laughed, just in time to still Elizabeth's words.

"Mama!" He called out to her when he noticed her presence. Her legs worked without express permission from her, so she had reached the gates before she realised it. Her anger cooled as she met her husband's face. In the time it took for her to reach them, she had remembered the fact that as her husband he did not need her permission to do anything. She tried to smile at him but it was more of a grimace.

"I see you brought the horses from Hertfordshire" She stated as she turned her attention to Philip so that he would not examine her face too closely.

"Yes, Philip missed his pony and I thought since you agreed to the need for a horse, that you would prefer the mount you were familiar with." He said tentatively.

But she was completely disarmed. Of course, her son's pony should be brought back. She had not thought that he would miss the animal. But she should have. Whilst they were in London, he had asked for his pony on a daily basis. It was a generous thing to do and would go a long way in making Pemberley home for him. She should have thought to bring it herself. But she had been busy.

"Will you be taking over his lessons?" She asked trying to push aside her guilt. She would prefer him or Mr Davis to do so and not one of Pemberley servants, at least until Philip knew them better.

"Yes. Along with Mr Davis."

"He is here?" she asked surprised.

"Yes." He said hesitantly. "He accompanied the horses. Pemberley could use his expertise and it frees Mr Nettle to focus solely on the breeding program." She had not known that he bred horses, but in her tour of the estate she had purposely neglected the stables. When she said nothing, he returned to Philip. She had no place here and she was rather tired, so she left Mr Darcy with her son and returned to the house.

* * *

From then on Mr Darcy had included Philip's equestrian training to his daily schedule for most days. A week after finding them in the stable yard and she still did not know how to feel about it. But as it was required that a gentleman know how to ride, and Philip enjoyed it, any objections she had went unsaid.

She was in her study, which had been completed to her satisfaction. When a knock interrupted her study of last month's accounts. Mrs Hopkins accompanied a very tearful Philip.

"I am sorry to disturb you, ma'am. But he will not settle and I could not find Mr Darcy. I thought you might want to comfort him, ma'am." As Elizabeth collected her son from his governess, she did not know what irritated her more, that Mrs Hopkins had sought out Mr Darcy first or that she looked as though she expected Elizabeth to reject her and her son. But she pushed such thoughts aside and focused on her boy. She settled him on her lap and allowed him to cry for a minute or two whilst she tried to soothe him.

"What is the matter Philly?" she asked softly.

"I miss aunt Jane and aunt Mary," he said between his sobs. She held him tighter.

"I miss them too, my love." She told him as she wiped tears that had not stopped. She held him for some time before the door of her study opened again.

"I heard he was distressed," Fitzwilliam said as he walked in. "I was away from my study when Mrs Hopkins came looking." He knelt beside them. Philip lifted his head from her shoulder and gave him the first smile that had appeared on his face since he had entered her study. Mr Darcy stretched forth his hands and her son went willingly. He said something about not disturbing her and then took her son away. But she heard nothing. She felt the loss of her son's weight and warmth very keenly, as she stared at the door he had closed behind him.

It was then she understood what he had been cautiously trying to tell her. It was then she realised what Philip could not say. He missed her. Before, when she had been busy with estate matters, Jane and Mary had been on hand to entertain him. In other households, the servants would have been enough, but she had not raised her son to be comforted by servants. So he missed her sisters because, when she was not around they had been the natural substitute. She rested her elbow on her desk, laid her head on her fingers and sighed as she felt the weight of the world resting on her shoulders. Her campaign to be the best Mistress she could be was at the expense of her son, and she would not accept that. As she considered her busy schedule, she realised it was not just Philip she had neglected. She had neglected Fitzwilliam. She had undervalued his desire for them to become better acquainted and had only made herself available to him when she wanted her physical needs met.

She pushed away from her desk and ran out of her study in search of her family. She did not find them in Fitzwilliam's study. But as she hurried along, she realised she was a long way from knowing what it meant to be a wife, and sadder still, a mother. She found all three of them in the nursery, all of them were sat on the floor around some wooden toys.

"May I join you?" she asked hesitantly. Fitzwilliam stood up, took her by the hand and led her to sit by her son. When he joined them by her side, she made herself a promise - she would always endeavour to appreciate what she had been blessed with.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Elizabeth's mind rested between sleep and consciousness, so Fitzwilliam's efforts to minimise the noise he was making were rather ineffective. Reluctantly she opened her eyes, to find and berate the source of the noise that was disturbing her sleep. "Fitzwilliam?" She said with mild irritation.

"I am sorry, my dear. It was not my desire to disturb you." He whispered. "Go back to sleep."

Lifting her head, she noticed he was dressed or in the process of being fully dressed. "Where are you going?" She asked.

"I intend to ride out." He replied.

It took her awhile to process his words, sleep was still trying to prevail with her. "Before the sun has risen?" She asked when she took notice of the darkness.

"Yes," he leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Go back to sleep, Elizabeth. I am sorry to have disturbed you."

She yawned and stretched, "I am awake now." She declared. "Would you care for some company?" She asked as he walked towards the door.

"You would ride with me?" He asked incredulously.

"I know I am not a great horsewoman. But I get on tolerably." She replied. "If you would have me, I would be happy to join you."

"Gladly!" He declared and helped her out of the bed. It took a while for her legs to wake. But in as little time as possible, she was on top of her mare and following Fitzwilliam at a very gentle pace.

"I imagine if I was not here you will not be moving at such a leisurely pace." She observed.

"Perhaps. But I would not have such a lovely companion." She smiled at his compliment. But he still bore that troubled expression that had caused her to want to accompany him. Since that faithful day in her study, her knowledge of her husband had increased greatly. She had learnt what he was saying when he said nothing at all, and what he was feeling when he showed no emotions. She was not an expert, but she was learning.

"Fitzwilliam, what is the matter?" She asked after they had enjoyed the silence.

"Nothing." He smiled. "At least, nothing I can articulate with any credit." He amended at her quizzical frown.

"I do not expect you to be verbose in your response." She said with a small smile. "But should you want to speak about something, you may come to me and I will not expect more words than you can give."

He reached over and placed his hand on her arm. "Truly, Elizabeth, there is nothing the matter. I was simply restless and could sleep no longer." He smiled at her and she dropped the issue. It was a lovely morning to ride out, the air was warm despite the absence of the sun, so she followed where he led.

He led her to a field with more wildflowers than she had seen of late. From what she had observed of Pemberley, there was either a well-manicured garden, farmlands or the untamed woods. He had mentioned that he and his uncle were implementing a new farming technique, and she had thought it sound that the earth should be given time to rest. But to see the undisturbed field, as the sun rose, was glorious. "This is magnificent!" She exclaimed.

"Yes, it is very beautiful." He said looking at only her. "I love this new technique. It allows us time to stop and consider nature. To observe it in all its glory." They remained silent and watched the sun paint the sky as it arose and each of them contemplated the beauty surrounding them.

"What are you doing?" She asked as he alighted from his horse and walked into the field. When she saw him go amongst the flowers and pluck a few, she laughed. He sheepishly returned to her and handed her the bouquet. "Your secret is out Fitzwilliam. Underneath your reserve, hides such a romantic gentleman, you would put poets to shame." She said jovially as he helped her off her animal.

"There are worse things to be." He whispered as he drew her closer to him and kissed her. His hands went to her body and hers went to his hair.

When they finally separated, she placed her hand on his face and said, as calmly as she could manage, "If exertion was all you desired, Fitzwilliam. I wonder why we left my bedchamber at all." His eyes widen in shock and she kissed him before he could reply.

When they separated the second time, he effortlessly picked her up and placed her on her mount. "You are a fount of wisdom, Elizabeth and I will endeavour to bear that in mind in the future."

Once they had both settled on their horses, they returned to their lives as sensible members of the gentry. But Fitzwilliam's excursions before sunrise were greatly reduced.

* * *

Mr Darcy was the happiest he had been in such a long time. Indeed, he was so happy with his situation in life, he promised himself that he would not dwell on anything unpleasant. That resolution did not follow him out of his wife's chambers, for life had many unpleasant things to dwell on. But the one thing he refused to consider, was the state of his wife's affections. That she liked him, he knew without a doubt. That she enjoyed intimacies with him, he had daily assurance. But of her deeper feelings, he did not know, and he had no way of knowing. A month had passed since he had vowed to love her all his days and he had hoped she would not need longer than that to do likewise.

But all had not gone according to plan. He had hoped that once they were at Pemberley, and she was assured of his love, her affectionate heart would include him in those whom it loved. But he had yet to receive a confirmation that that was the case. He thought she loved him. But then again what did he know of her more delicate feelings. It was an endless cycle of doubt and conviction. So he refused to consider the state of her heart. He used the time she gave him to show her his love.

In the short time she had been here, she had done well for Pemberley. He was not surprised that the people he had known all of his adult life showed her greater affection and loyalty than they showed him. He could not begrudge her their affection and loyalty for she had earned it. He had foolishly planned that the first month of their marriage would be spent in relative seclusion enjoying each other's company, only allowing Philip and Georgiana into their company. How wrong he had been. With a single-minded determination, that he had not witnessed in any other young lady, she set forth to be mistress of his estate. That was what he had always wanted, he had tried to remind himself. But he wished he could have shown her his home, discovered her favourite paths together and other such things. But if the alternative was his home and his people being neglected by a wife who cared for nothing but the latest fashion and to waste his money. Then he knew what he would choose.

The magnitude of his relief could not be described, when all of a sudden, she slowed down. And he was glad for it, not just for his sake but for Philip's. He could tell that the boy missed his mother and that her absence was affecting his adjustment to Pemberley. But he knew better than to criticise her on how she dealt with him. So he tried to fill the gap. When Philip asked for his pony, he facilitated its transport. His toys were brought out and given to him. But he was no substitute for a mother and so he was glad when she finally noticed that there were other areas where she was needed.

But when she decided that it was time to open up the estate and receive guests, he bore it as best as he could. He was happy to see that endearing exasperation had replaced her look of irritation when it came to his lack of social graces. The night after their first day of receiving guests, she had told him that she would be returning Pemberley to the social status it had occupied whilst his mother had been its mistress. Despite his reservations, he had been proud to hear that. Once he obtained her promise that social engagements would not be a daily occurrence, he was happy for her to do as she saw fit.

All in all, he was happy at the new pace she was moving at, she gave him time to do some of those things he had planned to do with her, she gave Philip some of her time and took time for herself. He had noticed that she tired easily and he had even found her asleep in the library once. So things at Pemberley were as he had always imagined it would be.

He had not been idle whilst she had worked herself into weariness. There was much on the estate that required his attention. He had acquired some new land and it had yet to be put to good use. There were other things to hold his attention, the home farm, the breeding project, their wool production and the planting and harvesting. So he had focused on Pemberley for a time. When he no longer felt as though everything would fall apart, if he did not pay it some attention. He turned to the other estate.

He had sent a letter of introduction to Mr Miller and had requested the man's presence. Aside from wanting to receive an account of the estate, Darcy wanted to know how Lord Durham's theft could have been allowed. He had to establish if the man was an accomplice or just negligent. So that morning after he had broken his fast with his family and met with his steward. He stopped in his wife's study to ensure she was doing nothing more strenuous than sewing and reading. The ladies invited him to take tea with them, which he happily did until it was time for him to receive Mr Miller.

Mr Miller was not what he expected. He was a tall lean man with a severe expression. From his first impression, he could not imagine the man being anything but a diligent steward and so he was more determine to find the truth of the matter.

"Thank you, Mr Miller, for coming so promptly," Darcy said as he offered the man a seat.

"Thank thee, sir. I was happy to hear of the Lady's marriage; she is a fine lass." His accent was very pronounced, but Darcy was used to the northern dialect and had no trouble understanding him.

"Yes, we are both very happy. I understand the estate has suffered from the latest weather troubles." He said turning the topic of conversation from the felicity in his marriage and to the subject of their meeting.

"Aye, but the weather is not the problem anymore. The new workers are, most of them are bad 'un and I won't trust them as far as I could spit. But there is nowt that can be done about it."

"But perhaps the situation can be better managed."

"Aye, I hope so."

"I have recently had some dealings with Lord Durham." Mr Miller furrowed brow was his only response. "I wonder what your impression has been."

Mr Miller took his measure of Mr Darcy before replying, "He has got more brass na brains." He said but refused to elaborate.

"From what I found, it was not his money he was spending," Darcy added.

"Aye, that's the truth and a hard one to swallow. But there was nowt to be done about it. Until the young master grows up." He was right of course. Darcy knew the steward was in no position to challenge Lord Durham but he could have told Elizabeth.

"But could you not have told Mrs Darcy" Darcy challenged.

"Aye, I could. But I knew summat of what she was in. Lord Durham was all she had. I could not take that away from her." And there it was, the only thing that could excuse turning a blind eye to all that Lord Durham had done. There was a time Elizabeth had trusted Lord Durham with Philip, there was a time when she had no other choice. It said something about Mr Miller's loyalty that he not only recognised the predicament she was in, but that he protected her when he could.

So Darcy closed the book on the issue and focused on the problems on the estate. Planting led to harvesting and there was still repairs to be done on the estate. The tenants and farmers could not harvest and repair, so they were still in need of outside help. So Darcy suggested that the footmen and manservant from the house be sent to the field to work. Those who could not do field work, could supervise and so ensure that things were better managed. They talked more about the estate; its yearly income, the crops it grew, the condition of the soil and other such things pertaining to its management. Darcy knew he would have to visit the estate soon. But such a visit would have to be arranged later, as he and his family were scheduled to begin their return to the south.

When Mr Miller finally left, Darcy felt a weight was lifted from his shoulders. He was assured of the man's loyalty. They were both determined that when Philip came into his inheritance there would be no evidence of the damages made by Lord Durham.

* * *

It had been a week since Elizabeth readjusted her priorities and it had worked well in her favour. The foundation she had built with the people of the estate, ensured that there were no adverse effects from her not meeting Mrs Reynold daily or not visiting the parson and tenants. She had suggested that it was time for the estate to be opened for visitors by the local gentry and so Fitzwilliam had reluctantly handed over the cards and messages of salutations that were awaiting a reply. She had sent out their cards and soon the ladies and gentlemen came.

She was happy to bear the brunt of the conversations. She had finally made peace with the fact that she did not marry a verbose man and so, turned her natural charm to the people of Derbyshire who came to call. Some were already known to her from her season in town and Fitzwilliam conducted the introductions to the others. She could easily tell when they were in the presence of a friend of the family, for her husband deign to speak on such occasions.

Amongst the guests they received two families were very close friends. She had already met Mr Montgomery and his wife, and although they were an older couple, they were greatly admired by both Fitzwilliam and Georgiana. The gentleman and lady were both sensible jovial people and so Elizabeth was happy to call them friends. From the couple, she learnt a little more about the late Mr and Mrs Darcy, specifically how they interacted with one another. From the stories told, Elizabeth realised her husband shared some similarities with his father. The late Mr Darcy was also prone to romantic gestures, to his wife's delight.

Mr Nicholson and his sister were the other close friend of the family. Although Elizabeth had not met them in town, she was happy to make their acquaintance. The relatively easy distance from their estate and Pemberley had provided Georgiana and Fitzwilliam with a friend. But from the stories Mr Nicholson told and his general persona, Elizabeth thought he might be more the Colonel's friend than he was her husband's.

She had not expected the Matlocks to call, for Matlock was not so close by. So she was very happy to welcome Richard and Lottie. During their engagement, she had developed a good relationship with all the Matlock siblings and had even met Mabel, Lottie's elder sister. Lady Delaney had missed the season in town for the birth of her son. But she had informed her husband that motherhood would not prevent her from attending her beloved cousin's wedding. So Lord and Lady Delaney and their infant son had come to celebrate with her and Fitzwilliam. They were a welcomed addition and it was clear that Lady Delaney had not lost her jovial nature to motherhood.

Lottie and Richard were a welcomed addition to their household. They had stopped on their way to Matlock from the south. As they all sat and took refreshments, she informed them of their gallant escape from Bath. Their parents had gone to Bath with the rest of society and the Viscount had gone with them in search of a wife, or so Lottie believed. They stayed for two nights before they made their way home.

* * *

It is said that there is always a calm before the storm and Elizabeth's less hectic week was that calm. She had neglected the library during her first three weeks in Pemberley because she knew once she tasted of its delights she would hunger for more. That was indeed the case, for she had fallen asleep there a few times after her morning calls had ended.

But the storm came. She had been exiting the library which was adjacent to Mr Darcy's study. When she noticed Mr Miller exiting Fitzwilliam's study. At first, she could not comprehend what she saw. But when her mind decided to work, it did not do so in a logical manner. The breath was knocked out of her as she saw her worst nightmare realised. 'It would be just like it was.' She thought. He would make decisions without her. He sought to undermine her as guardian of her son's estate. But - no – she would not allow it. She marched right into his study and slammed the door behind her. He jumped at the unexpected noise.

"How dear you!" she shouted.

"Elizabeth?" He exclaimed in response.

"Was this your intention all along?" her voice dropped slightly. "Did you expect me to sit idly by and do nothing? Well, you are mistaken sir, very mistaken!"

"Elizabeth, what are you about? I suggest you calm yourself." His tone was not as soothing as he intended it.

"No I will not calm down!" she shouted. "He is my son and I will not have you go behind my back to make decisions regarding his future, without my involvement. I just saw Mr Miller, so you have no hope of denying it. I tell you Fitzwilliam I will not hand over control of my son's estate for you to do as you please."

"I have no intention of denying Mr Miller's presence, but I assure you the situation is not what you think." He reasoned, but she was beyond reason.

She stared at the book in her hand. How could she have been so foolish, she wondered. "Was it your hope that I would be so distracted, that I would not notice? Well here." She said as she threw the book down with force damaging the binding and then left his study.

The never ending stairs were no match for her. When she reached her room she locked her doors and threw herself on the bed. She wished she could have the relief of crying but her mind refused to stop working. It went from anger to doubt to disbelief and then shock. By the time she had reached shock, he had already come in search of her and had entreated her to allow him in. But when she did not, he had left.

She was shocked at her behaviour; she did not know what came over her. There were many logical explanations for Mr Miller's presence. Why had her mind gone to that which was illogical? There was no excuse for what she accused him of. She could have simply asked why Mr Miller had come. But she was too vulnerable and her greatest fear was to be pushed aside again.

But Fitzwilliam deserved better. So she arose to find him. But when she opened her door, he was there. She did not know how long it took her to recognise that she was being irrational. Nor did she know how long he had stood there, unsure if he would get a response from his volatile wife. She had hurt him, that was clear to see. She stepped aside to let him in. But he did not step in immediately, he searched her face as was his want and then he stepped in. He stood awkwardly, unsure of his welcome in a room he had always been welcomed in.

"Fitzwilliam I am so sorry." She began.

"I think I would prefer an explanation, madam."

She sat down on her bed and waited for him to do likewise before she said, "I cannot give you one. An explanation means that there was some logical thought process to my actions and there was not."

"Elizabeth, do you expect me to come seeking your permission whenever I desire to make any decisions with regards to Nettleham?" she could not meet his eyes so he asked, "do you want me involved with the management of Nettleham?"

These were serious questions, so she searched her heart for the answers. "I do want your involvement. In fact, I welcome it." She answered quietly. "As to the other matter. No, I do not require you to seek my permission. You are the head of this family and it is not my intentions to usurp your position. But, despite this afternoon's display, you married an intelligent woman and I would ask that my ideas and opinions be sought on matters that affect me and Philip."

"That is fair to ask of me and I promise to do so."

They sat in silence for some time before she asked, "Why was Mr Miller here."

"I wanted to meet him and offer some suggestions to help Nettleham." He said not meeting her eyes. "Since you will not be in residence, I thought the menservants and some of the household staff could work on the field. Those who cannot work on the field may supervise the additional workers from the village."

"Oh, I am such a fool!" she exclaimed. "I do not deserve you and you do not deserve a harpy for a wife." He took her hand and kissed it.

"And yet we have each other for better or for worse."He said softly

"This is certainly my worst. I do not make a habit of accusing innocent men of actions they did not commit." He drew her into his embrace and kissed her head. They sat in that manner for some time before it was time to dress for dinner. With the situation appropriately resolved they were able to meet their family with no remnant of their argument.

* * *

But the effects of their discussion and agreement was felt for the rest of their marriage. They soon developed a habit of coming together to discuss estate matters. Whenever she was not receiving guests or otherwise indispose, Elizabeth would at 11am go to the kitchen to collect the sweet treats her husband usually came to collect. She would make her way to his study and there they could discuss matters concerning the estate. At first, their focus was on Nettleham, but soon they talked of Pemberley.

On such an occasion, Elizabeth came to him and when she sat down her husband proudly told her of his plans for the new land he had acquired before their marriage. When he had finished, Elizabeth said, "you cannot do that." He had proposed that Mr Barnes, their new tenant who was by all accounts stronger than an ox, work the harsh land in the furthest reaches of the estate.

"Madam?" He asked, still unused to having his authority challenged.

"Mr Barnes has recently lost his wife and Mrs Charles, his sister, as also lost her husband. They both have young children, the youngest is only nine months. The brother and sister decided to join their household to be a support to one another. I believe the situation surrounding Mr Charles' death was very distressing, in any case, I believe she will be distraught to be deprived of male protection so soon after their arrival. They are from the south you know, and no doubt find things very strange here." He said nothing after she had finished. He got up from his seat, walked over to her chair and knelt beside her. Before she could query his strange actions, he took both her hands and kissed them. He released one of her hands and placed his on her neck. His fingers circled the curls at the nape of her neck before he pulled her forward and kissed her thoroughly.

"My dear Elizabeth," he whispered against her lips. "How have I done this all these years without you?" He asked when he pulled back.

"You know the men, and I know the women. Together we make the perfect pair." She said with a smile. But he ignored her smile and searched deep into her eyes. Before she could fear he had gotten lost in her green pools, he got up and returned to his chair. He had not found what he was looking for and he did not tell her what he had been searching for. A pity, for if he had, she would have been more than happy to search with him.

"What do you suggest we do?" He asked when he had sat down.

"Let them have two more weeks to settle in. During that time, I will encourage a relationship between her and the other women whose husbands will be accompanying Mr Barnes. That should calm her fears, and whilst he is gone, I will have someone check on them daily if needed."

"Very well, it will be as you wish," Darcy said and she smiled with delight.

From that day, Mr Darcy developed the strange habit of going to his wife to check if she knew of any estate issues that might hinder the success of any of his plans. So the Darcy family had, yet again, increased their wealth by the time it was passed onto the next generation and Mr Darcy always ensured that the recipient knew it could not have happened without the help of his partner.

* * *

Soon the family began their preparations to move south for Jane and Mary's wedding. Once again Mr Bingley had allowed the use of Netherfield and so they need not worry about staying in Longbourn. Mr Bingley had been persuaded to go along with Miss Bingley to Bath. The lady hoped that the waters might help her reputation. Elizabeth was glad Mr Bingley was willing to be so generous, but she dreaded when she would be required to repay the kindness, for Miss Bingley would most definitely be included.

But she pushed thoughts of Mr Bingley to the side and focused on what was needed for her sisters' wedding. She had received strict instructions from her mother that she was to have a new dress made for the occasion. Elizabeth had at first decided to ignore the instruction, but Georgiana had found out. When she could not persuade her sister to follow Mrs Bennet's instruction, she had no scruples to include her brother in her campaign. He would not hear otherwise. He proclaimed that he would not have it be said by his mother-in-law that his wife was being deprived of clothes. So Elizabeth could add dress fittings to the list of her irritations.

At the top of that list was the portrait Mr Darcy had commissioned. Surprisingly Philip had voiced no displeasure about sitting for hours to have his portrait done, but Elizabeth suspected some sweet treats had changed hands to make her boy so docile. The more she sat with her son by her side, the more she appreciated Mr Darcy's gesture. It would not have been accepted in any other house or by any other man. But he was right, she did not come to Pemberley alone and so she could not sit like her predecessors had. So she endured the irritations, but the artist was well renown and very suited to working with children. So by the time they left for Hertfordshire they were no longer needed for the portrait to be finished.

With her thoughts dominated by her sisters' wedding to such wonderful gentlemen. It naturally followed that she would consider the expansion of their family. Elizabeth had been awaiting the arrival of her courses for some time now. She knew what it meant for them to be absent, although she had not known the first time. But she was elated and apprehensive. It was just the first month of their absence and there was no sense in worrying or perhaps exciting her husband unduly. They had not talked about children, there was no need to do so. With the way he was with Philip there was no doubt he looked forward to having children of his own. But she knew how his mother had died and she did not doubt that he would feel more than joy should her suspicions be proven correct.

Although she had decided against telling him until more months had passed or she experienced the other distresses that suggested what she suspected. Each time she met him, it took herculean strength not to reveal all. She was afraid if he looked into her eyes too closely he would ferret out her secret. He had a habit of doing just that. She could say nothing of a serious nature without him checking her eyes for the truth of her words and she had on one occasion needed to shut her eyes just to keep a surprise from him.

When the day came for them to begin their journey he had requested that Philip rode in the carriage with them, she had told him that he would regret it. But he had let his fondness for the boy overrule sound judgement. An hour into the journey, he regretted it. But as they had two more hours before they stopped, she tried to keep her smug delight to herself.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: (A reply to The Reader: Thank you. Yes in chapter 23 Darcy still believes Elizabeth does not love him. He would like to think she does, but he is not sure. I think Elizabeth will inform Darcy of the problems in her last marriage when the time is right. It is always difficult to take about past relationships and I think it is more difficult for Elizabeth because she has Philip to consider. Whatever she says about Andrew will be the only memory Philip has of his father.) Thank you all for being patient with me. I will try a post at least one chapter once a week.**

Chapter 24

The Darcys arrived in Hertfordshire early in the afternoon, four days after they had set off on their journey. The journey had revealed a new side to Fitzwilliam. He was stubborn, or perhaps determined would have been the kinder analysis of his behaviour. But he had held steadfast to his decision that Philip would ride with them and so had undertaken the Herculean task of controlling her son's exuberance, whenever it boiled over the surface. He had answered all of Philip's many questions and had entertained him with stories that even the other adults could enjoy. All in all, the journey had been without incident. So when they stepped out of the carriage, Elizabeth was happy to take charge of her son so that Fitzwilliam might go and refresh himself with something stronger than tea.

They had barely taken refreshments and changed out of their travel clothes before her sisters and their fiancés were announced. It took some restraint not to run into the arms of her sisters, she had not realised how much she had missed them until they stood unchanged before her. But as the sisters shared a dignified but sweet embrace, Mr Barker observed, "perhaps I should consider a place in the North, otherwise I may have cause to question the felicity in my marriage."

"There is no need for such drastic measures," Mary replied as she released Elizabeth to hug Georgiana.

"Yes, your presence in the south will be enough of an inducement for use to make regular trips to the south. So there is no need for a change." Elizabeth declared, then she called a maid to bring in her son. It was a testimony to all that Mr Darcy and Mrs Hopkins had done, that Philip did not come running in to embrace his aunts. But as Fitzwilliam was always reminding him, he was to be a gentleman. So he came in the drawing room, accompanied by Mrs Hopkins, bowed and then ran into Jane's outstretched arm.

"You have grown taller!" She exclaimed as she tried to pick him up, she had to sacrifice her dignity to do so.

"Yes!" He said proudly. "Papa says I will soon be as tall as he is."

"I do not doubt that." Mary inserted as she collected her nephew from her sister.

"Is everything ready for the wedding?" Georgiana asked as the gentlemen gathered to greet Philip with varying forms of affection.

"Yes, it is. Despite what mama might say." Jane answered, her voice a little strained. Elizabeth and Georgiana were well acquainted with Mrs Bennet's complaints; they had received almost daily reports of it from either Jane or Mary.

"Well we are here and that should take her mind of her nerves." Elizabeth offered.

"We thought our aunt and uncle would do just that, but she is very determined to be nervous," Mary observed.

"Yes, well I imagine it would be very difficult for her to neglect her constant companion with so many changes taking place," Elizabeth replied.

The sisters and their gentlemen stayed a little longer before taking their leave. After their long journey they could not be expected at Longbourn till the next day and since Mr Stanley and Mr Barker stayed in Purvis Lodge without a hostess, they could not dine there. Truth be told the gentlemen had used the house for nothing other than sleeping. Their time was exclusively spent in the company of their ladies. They had been very diligent in their attentions to their fiancées and since the couples preferred each other's company to anyone else, the sisters acted as chaperones for one another. But it must be said, they were not very good chaperones.

* * *

As their carriage drew nearer to the estate, Elizabeth looked out for signs of neglect. But she was glad she saw none. Things had not improved between her and her father, true to his nature Mr Bennet had not written to his daughter and though she had not expected him to be a weekly correspondent, she was still disheartened to see he could not exert himself to write. She imagined his pride was still wounded and she was not quite ready to soothe it.

Longbourn was slightly chaotic when they arrived at the house. The Gardiners had come to Hertfordshire early, they had originally planned to holiday in the North with Kitty. But the reoccurring marriages at Longbourn and Mr Gardiner's business had made such plans impossible. Kitty was sad to miss out, so the Gardiners had offered to take her to London, for painting masters, after her sisters' wedding. An invitation was extended to Lydia, but she declared she did not want to bear the heat of London just for the sake of painting masters, which she had no interest in. So she would contend herself with the four and twenty families that were available to her. It was decided, Kitty would go to London after Jane and Mary's wedding.

Mrs Bennet's welcome of the Darcys and her grandson was very warm. It seemed that their time apart had been sufficient enough for Mrs Bennet to forget any trivial disagreements. She gave warm hugs to the ladies and even condescended to pat Philip's hair. They had arrived early in the day, so the ladies could be of use in the wedding preparations, and the gentlemen could go hunting and shooting. It was unfortunate that Fitzwilliam had to miss the hunting and shooting season in Derbyshire for the wedding, so Elizabeth was pleased for his sake that her father had chosen to exert himself for the sake of his sons' in law.

Once the gentlemen had left the ladies, Elizabeth joined her sisters in their campaign to curb their mother's enthusiasm for the noble guests that were expected for the wedding. It was a noisy affair, but the sense of familiarity was very great and as Elizabeth watched her mother, she felt pity for her. As challenging as it must have been to, in some situations, single-handedly raise five very different girls, it was clear that her mother would miss that phase of her life. The success of her life's mission had enabled her to look favourably on past trials and remember joyful times with a greater delight.

But the joy she received from the companionship of all of her sisters, was marred by the reports she received about Lydia's behaviour. Mary had kept her informed of their youngest sisters many escapades. Whenever she was in society she was loud and uncouth, she was often found indulging in too much wine and she flirted with any young man who paid her the slightest attention. It was very lucky that she had no dowry, otherwise, there would have been a repeat of the events with Mr Wickham. The militia had long removed from Meryton, a fact Lydia constantly lamented. But she lost no opportunity to inform all and sundry that she had not lost her hope of being married to a handsome soldier.

With Lydia's behaviour still on her mind, she had deferred the offer to dine at Longbourn till tomorrow night, so when she had returned to Netherfield Elizabeth went in search of her husband. The gentlemen had finished their hunting party before the ladies were willing to be parted from each other and rather than subject her husband to such talks, Elizabeth had sent him ahead of her.

She found him in Netherfield's library, which looked abysmal in comparison to Pemberley's. She stood by the door and admired him - he was rather handsome - before she alerted him to her presence. "How were your hunting and shooting party." She asked as she walked further into the room. She could not resist kissing his cheek before she took the seat next to him.

"Very well." He said softly as he took her hand. "I was in good company."

"I am glad to hear that." She smiled sweetly at him and they stared at one another, before she began, "Fitzwilliam, I would like to invite my sisters to Pemberley." He frowned slightly so she waited for him to speak.

"I am sure you know you need not seek my permission." He confirmed, unsure of what she required from him.

"Yes I am well aware of that; you are a generous man to give me such liberties," she said with humour. "But I was rather seeking your advice, sir."

"My advice?" He asked perplexed.

"Yes. I want to invite Lydia you see. The situation has gone quite bad and I fear for how much worse things would have to get before either of my parents will exert themselves to help."

"You are not her mother." He said softly, as he kissed her hand.

"I know this."

"And you cannot force her to accompany us."

"I know this also."

"I am afraid I am not being of much help." He said with a small smile. "But if you will permit me, I will tell you that which I am sure you already know." She inclined her head for him to continue and he did so. "Lydia knows that should she accompany us to Derbyshire, many changes will have to occur. We will, and rightly so, expect better from her. We cannot insist without your parent's blessings, so for now, our hands are tied. We must wait until the society in Hertfordshire loses its charm, and God willing there will be no more militias stationed at Meryton." She drew closer to him, laid her head on his shoulder and sighed deeply. He immediately put his arm around her.

"You are correct of course. We must wait. I have extended an invitation to Kitty, for when she has finished with her masters in town." She informed him.

"I imagine Lydia showed no interest in accompanying her."

"No, she declared it too much of a bore. I have also invited my aunt and uncle. But I suspect the next time we see them will be for Christmas, and that is too far away to make plans just yet."

"Well whatever you decide, I welcome their company." He said as he kissed her head.

She remained in his arms until she had to go and see to dinner. But as she left, she could not help but feel that this was how it should be.

* * *

By their fourth day in Hertfordshire, Elizabeth and Darcy began welcoming guest to Netherfield. The Ledfords were the first to arrive and Elizabeth could only marvel at the clear evidence of history repeating itself. Mr Stanley was the mirror of his father, in his height, look and manner. Lord Ledford loved society and was blessed with the good manners required to ignore all the eccentricities found in the Bennet household. Whilst Jane was the mirror of Lady Ledford. The lady was blessed with such ethereal beauty and had a calmness in her manner that assured Elizabeth she had never had a cross word with anyone. Her similarities in comportment and behaviour assured that there were no contentions amongst their party. Mr Stanley's siblings also shared their parents' nature. His sister was already known to them, but his younger brother soon earned the love and admiration of everyone. For although he was more than twice Philip's age he was happy to entertain her son.

As more guest and family members arrived, Longbourn, Purvis Lodge and Netherfield opened up their doors. The company remained pleasant and only a few distant relatives held the ladies' humble heritage against them. It was rather amusing that it was Mr Barker's relatives, whose ancestors were tradesmen, that took issue with Mr Bennet's modest estate. But with the ladies' connections all they could do was grumble and ask some minor impertinent questions.

The morning of her sisters' wedding was a very distressing morning, but through her distress, she could not help but rejoice. She had received the tentative evidence that told her that she was with child. She tried not to consider the further distress and discomfort that her new situation would bring. But as she set down her chamber pot and returned to her bed, she thought of all the wonderful things it would mean. Philip would have a sibling and they would have a child.

But it was necessary that she push such happy news and her discomfort aside to tend to the most important issue of the day. She had the most important task for the day; keeping Mrs Bennet calm and graceful. Everything that could be done to ensure the smooth running of the day, had been done. But as the day drew nearer, her mother's complaints grew louder. But no one could fault her, more than half of her children had been successfully disposed of in marriage and so her purpose in life was all but finished.

In her most important task, Elizabeth was rather successful. But her success was attributed to the fact that there were just too many people present who had earned Mrs Bennet silent admiration. Both of her sisters were so radiant and beautiful as they walked into the church, that even Mrs Bennet could not place the beauty of one daughter over that of the other. The wedding breakfast was an elaborate affair thanks to Mrs Bennet. But it was also elegant and tasteful to the credit of all of the ladies that had endeavoured to curb Mrs Bennet's enthusiasm.

But when it was time, with tears in her eyes and Fitzwilliam by her side, Elizabeth said farewell to her sisters. As he interlocked their fingers, she smiled and looked at him. They had been partners at Hertfordshire.

Despite his reservations, he had gotten better acquainted with Mr Bennet and had even encouraged a truce between her and her father. She had found them in Mr Bennet study one afternoon debating the merits of Lord Byron's poetry. On her entrance, her father had stated his assumption that she would side with him. But she went and stood by her husband and said, "No sir I find I take Mr Darcy's side on the matter. A gentleman must be measured by his actions, otherwise, his words show him to be nothing but a hypocrite."

"I see I have been completely replaced in your affections." Her father replied. She remained standing but said nothing, she was about to leave her father's statement unchallenged. When she felt Fitzwilliam's fingers brush lightly against her fingers.

"No sir." She replied softly. Father and daughter stared awkwardly at one another until Fitzwilliam left them to it.

"I find the weight of your disapproval too heavy to bear." He whispered. So she moved from her position and threw her arms around her father. She said nothing more to him because she still disagreed with his actions. But her dissatisfaction was not bringing about the change she desired and her heart could not remain closed to the man who had always loved and nurtured her.

So as she entered her carriage to leave Hertfordshire, a few days after her sisters had left, she promised her father she would write and he promised he might do so.

* * *

A few days was all the family needed to settle back into their routine when they arrived at Pemberley. Although Elizabeth had eased up on her campaign to be the best mistress of Pemberley. She had not given up her social campaign, much to her husband's dismay. She hosted teas for the ladies and invitations had been sent out for a dinner party. She had even started to make suggestions as to when Pemberley would host its first ball in many years.

In her campaign to restore their social standing, Lady Edwards of Hilton Hall was the enemy. In reality, the lady was like any other lady of quality, gentle, and cultured. But in the Darcy household, her short stature had earned her many comparisons to the Emperor of France, Napoleon Bonaparte. So the estates in Derbyshire had been divided up as grounds to be won on the battlefield. Elizabeth did not go to war alone; she had her natural allies, Georgiana, Lottie, Miss Nicholson, Mrs Lowell Mrs Montgomery and Lady Matlock. The ladies met regularly, exchanged correspondence and enjoyed the spoils of war together.

The campaign had its own tools, commodities and collateral damage. But in Elizabeth's defence, she was not the true instigator of the delicate war that was being waged in Derbyshire. If any had a desire to search the history for the origin of this particular war, they would find that blame could be laid at Lady Matlock's feet. Matlock was already considered one of the crown jewels of Derbyshire, so with her close connections to the estate, Lady Matlock was determined that Pemberley be awoken from its dormant state to take its rightful place beside Matlock.

The great lady had descended on them when they were barely out of their carriage and began to map Elizabeth's campaign strategy. It was very extensive. So much so that Fitzwilliam observed, "It is a shame that women are not allowed to be wartime advisors, aunt Helen. You would win this war a lot faster than Wellesley would."

"My boy, what makes you think I do not advice? Where do you think your uncle gets most of his advice from?" She chuckled at his incredulous smile. So Elizabeth accepted her proposal; it was rather like a game of chess, with social engagements being the chess pieces that required strategic placements.

* * *

But despite her campaign, Elizabeth did not neglect her family. Most of her mornings were spent in her husband's company. Aside from their time in his study discussing estate affairs, he had on some occasions requested her company as he surveyed their land. If her afternoons were free from social engagements, she spent it with her son or dealing with estate matters. By the time they had returned from Hertfordshire the school had been built and was being put to good use. So the ladies always had much to occupy their time.

She had finished the last of her letters for the day, and so Elizabeth with great excitement went to collect her son. The week had been rather heavy. She had received more guest than she would have liked to and so she had promised her husband that the rest of the day would be spent with family only. "Is he ready?" she asked on entering the nursery.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Did he sleep well?"

"No ma'am. He could not sleep at all."

"Very well." She picked up her son. "You will be too tired if you do not sleep, Philly." She said to him as she kissed his cheek, then set him on his feet.

"I am not tired at all."

"Very well, but I think we will be fishing this afternoon." She announced and watched his face to ensure that he hid his disappointment well. He had stopped taking his rest in the afternoon and she had yet to decide whether that was to be expected, or if he was just being too stubborn. So it had been decided that on the days he did not rest, they would do nothing strenuous and Fitzwilliam had reminded him he must not whine when he did not get his way. Gentlemen did not whine.

When they reached her husband's study he let go of her hand and ran the rest of the way, forgetting to knock before he entered.

"Philip you must knock." They said in unison and smiled at each other.

"Sorry, Papa."

"Are you finished?" She asked as she looked at the papers still on his desk. "Or do you require more time."

"No, I am free to accompany you. Will Georgiana be accompanying us?" He asked as he collected Philip's hand and was all but dragged to the front door.

"Yes she will be, I sent her on ahead to co-ordinate the servants."

Soon they were settled by the lake, the ladies sat on the blanket sharing tea and some news, whilst Fitzwilliam and Philip went fishing. Of course, he was still too young to appreciate the intricacies of fishing, but it was always a delight to watch her son learn something new, especially when it was Fitzwilliam that taught him.

But it was not long before Philip became frustrated at his inexperience and so he gave up his rod in favour of watching Fitzwilliam. Elizabeth could understand his boredom, so she had asked him if he would like to accompany her and Georgiana as they went on a stroll, but he had rejected her offer. When they returned she noticed Philip on his hands and knees as he leaned in to gain closer access to the fishes. "Not so close, Philip." She called out as she settled on their blanket. But as he looked up to reply to his mother, he lost his precarious balance and landed elbow first into the lake.

Elizabeth exclaimed, but before she could rise to her feet and make her way to his side. He was already out of the lake and in Fitzwilliam's arms. He was unhurt but in need of a change of clothes. "Oh, my dear boy!" She exclaimed. "I think we must wait a few more years before you can enjoy fishing."

She moved to collect him, but Fitzwilliam refused her, "There is no sense in both of our clothes being soiled." His stern response surprised her.

"What is the matter?" She asked perplexed.

"I should have kept a better watch over him." He admitted.

She frowned and said, "Philip go ahead and do not run. Georgiana, could you take him?" When they were alone, she took him by the hand and said, "There is no need for you to blame yourself. I am sure you have enough memories of falling in the lake yourself, it is only right that he should share in some of those memories and he was not hurt." He smiled in response, but it was forced. So she drew nearer and kissed him thoroughly. "I do believe you have soiled my dress." She said once she regained her breath. They returned hand in hand to the house with a smile on their faces -both looking forward to being out of their wet clothes.

* * *

Despite Philip's tumble, they continued their excursions as a family and had even gone fishing again. But soon the weather began to change, making excursions outdoors all the more difficult. Elizabeth was glad that the changes in the weather gave her an excuse not to venture out. Her current condition was still unknown to the members of her family, and their time spent outdoors was making it difficult for her to keep her secret.

She knew she would have to tell Fitzwilliam soon. Although her condition had been confirmed by Pemberley's midwife - whilst her husband had been away. She had determined that it would be best for all concerned that she felt the child's quickening before she made any announcements.

The persistent rain had coincided with Philip's fussing, so she had taken her son to the library to read to him. But her concentration was poor, as her mind kept wandering back to her husband. She wondered where he was, and what he was doing. So her delight could not have been greater to see the doors open and her husband walk in.

"May I join you?" He asked as he entered. She patted the seat beside her, and when he sat she gave him the book she had been struggling to read to her son. He took it, smiled at them and began to read. It did not take long for her and Philip to settle as they were embraced in the warmth of his voice.

All too quickly the short story came to an end. Philip had been lulled to sleep by the end of his narration, so she called Laura to return him to the nursery. Once the doors were shut, he drew nearer to her on the chaise and took her hands. "Elizabeth, I intend to write to Mr Franklyn" he began ominously. She blinked twice, as her mind endeavour to process what he had said, but she could see no danger here.

"Oh – John." She said when she finally remembered Andrew's family name.

"Yes, I believe he is Mr Franklyn now." He replied his eyebrows raised at her confusion.

"I am sorry he is; I am just so used to him being either John or the Viscount. But you said you desire to write to him?"

"Yes, I do. I know you have a difficult relationship with him. But I feel he should be helped in some way. I have heard reports that he is in a very bad way." When she did not reply he continued. "I know I do not understand the extent of the damage he has caused, or his current state of mind. But I believe we have a Christian duty to help. If it would make you feel at ease, we may call Mr Lewis from his work in Nettleham and have him survey Mr Franklyn for the time being. Before we extend an arm of friendship." When he had stopped speaking, he stared at her for some time, searching her eyes for her reaction.

As he stared at her unsure of her response, her face lit up with such a bright smile that he could not help but smile in response. She removed her hand from his, stroked his cheeks and leaned in to kiss him. It pleased her to see evidence of his lasting respect, to see that it encompassed every aspect of every decision he made for them. It was not like before; where words were spoken but actions were lacking. No, here they had a mutual respect for one another.

"Thank you for your respect." She said softly. "And I agree, wholeheartedly. If he is willing then I would like us to do whatever we can to welcome him to our family." He kissed her hand, and as they stared at one another she had to tell him. "You are a wonderful man, Fitzwilliam and I hope you will be pleased with the news I have to share." She took his large hand and placed it over her abdomen. It took a second for him to understand her gesture.

But when he did his face exploded in a mirage of emotions. First, he was dumbfounded, then he was ecstatic, then he was concerned and then finally fearful. His fear was so potent that she almost cursed her spontaneity. But before he could voice his fears she kissed him again, expressing so much in that one kiss, even some emotions she had yet to realise. "I am well. Everything is as it should be." She said to soothe his fears, then drew closer still until she was sat in his lap. She took his face in her small hands, "and I will be well, right to the very end. You must remember I am a country lass and we are nothing if not sturdy." She quipped and he chuckled.

"My dear I am happy. I would not have you think I am not. But I cannot help my fears." He whispered in a heavy voice.

"I know. But a wise person once told me that the secret was to share your fears. So do not hide them in your reserve. Come to me." She said as she ran her fingers through his soft curls "Come to me and I will soothe you and remind you that all will be well." He laid his forehead against hers and placed his hand on her abdomen. He said a silent prayer and they remained in each other's arms until it was time to dress for dinner.

* * *

But it was not so easy for him to come to her; she did not expect it to be. By the fourth day after she had told him and they had told their family, he had put up walls to protect himself. He did not act differently towards her, he was loving and kind. But she could feel his emotional withdrawal and she would not have it.

So on the fifth day when he asked her how she was feeling - as was his want. She told him. She told him of all her aches, pains and irritations. She might have exaggerated a little, but his shock at hearing so much that distressed her, caused her to laugh. But it worked; the truth brought down his walls and brought them closer. Since she did not hide from him, he did not hide from her. Soon he explained that Lady Anne's tragedy had been more than what he had originally told her, and it was as she suspected. Lady Anne and her family, even her little boy, had felt the pain of consecutive disappointments before childbirth took her life.

After such a revelation, things could not help but improve. Her honest declaration of all that distressed her, had caused him to treat her as though she would break at the slightest provocation and he had all but declared eating too strenuous a task for her to undertake – which on some days it was. But she did not complain, they both made adjustments. She accepted that, occasionally, it was right and proper for him to tend to her, and he accepted that it was right and proper for him to go to her and receive comfort and reassurance from her.

* * *

By the end of August, they had settled into a new routine. Fitzwilliam accepted that her social engagements and duties will not stop until she was heavy with child and she accepted that he will not cease in his diligent care until she was no longer with child.

One afternoon she was in her study with Georgiana, planning for the ball that was to be held in honour of Lady Anne - on her birthday. They were handwriting the invitations when her door opened. "I see you are still spending your time on the battlefield." Her husband observed as he entered into her study.

"Yes, my dear." She replied lifting her head to smile at him. "Although I must say, despite what you may believe, this ball is not a weapon of war."

"I beg to differ." He said as he perused the guest list. "I do wish you would spend your efforts making peace, Elizabeth. Pemberley cannot afford to be at war."

"This is news to me, brother." Georgiana inserted. "I was not aware that we were paupers."

"Well, we are not so very poor." He said taking his seat. "But I should remind you, that unlike Hilton Hall, Pemberley cannot have a private army."

"It is such a shame that we lack gentlemen who will do battle for us." Elizabeth quipped. "It seems, Georgiana, we must fight for ourselves."

"But seriously Georgiana, will such an evening be fun for you. You are not out in society after all."

"I will not have you incite mutiny in my camp Fitzwilliam!" Elizabeth exclaimed.

"I thank you for your concern brother," Georgiana replied sweetly. "But I will attend. Since I may dance with family members, I can ensure that you will dance at least twice." Elizabeth laughed. She loved Georgiana's new ease and comfort with her brother.

"Well ladies, I know when to retreat." He said as he got up. "I did have a purpose in coming to the lion's den." He confessed.

"Did you? And what could that be?" She knew what it was and so battered her eyelashes and smiled sweetly at him.

"Yes, to persuade you to give up your plans to travel to Matlock tomorrow." She thought as much. She had received aunt Helen's invitation to tea after she had told him she was with child and he had tried to persuade her not to attend. But she would not be persuaded. The tea party was important to Lady Matlock and it was a principle event of the society in Derbyshire. She had to attend. She had tried to console her husband that it was only a day trip, but he was set against it. If she had felt that his concerns were real – and not a product of his taciturn nature – she would have stayed behind. But they were not, and so she would go.

"Only a king's ransom will do that." She teased.

"So you have a price!" he exclaimed.

"Fitzwilliam! It will be a day and we will return. If I feel even the slightest hint of distress, I will request to remain behind and a note will be sent to you. I will lift nothing heavier than a cup of tea and by tomorrow you will have your wife returned to you unharmed." He walked around her desk to kiss her cheek.

"I will hold you to every word you said." He declared and then left the ladies to their work.

"Honestly your brother," Elizabeth said with affectionate exasperation and Georgiana laughed.

By the next day, Fitzwilliam had resigned himself to their going. But as he helped them into their carriage, he looked at the sky and said. "The weather will turn soon."

"If the roads are too bad, we will stay behind," Elizabeth replied. "I will do nothing to threaten the health of Pemberley's heir."

He took her firmly by the hand and said, "I care more for Pemberley's mistress.

"I know." She replied and she did.

He was right of course. The weather did take a turn for the worse and the heavens opened up. Luckily for all, it occurred after they had reached Matlock. So an urgent letter need not be sent from Elizabeth to Fitzwilliam. Instead, she received an urgent note from her husband requesting her presence. Philip was sick.

When the rain finally stopped, the roads were impassable for a carriage. She had wanted to return to Pemberley on horseback, but neither aunt Helen nor uncle Henry would hear of it. So she stayed behind, and as Georgiana and Lottie held her hands she cursed every second she was away from her son. Why did she never learn, she wondered? Her campaigns were always at her son's expense.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Darcy could think of nothing else but his wife. There were many things that required his attention, but he could only focus on her. It had been a while since he had helped her into the carriage and he missed her. It truly was the most distracting, exhilarating yet fulfilling thing to love as much as he did. His life had never been fuller or more meaningful, but his desk was never empty. The weight he carried on his shoulders over the past three months had felt heavier than what he had carried in the last five years since his father's passing. Yet it took only the inadvertent brush of her fingers against his or the smile she gave him – without fail – whenever he entered a room, for him to feel weightless.

She was his partner through and through and their joint efforts had been rewarded. The situation in Nettleham had drastically improved. The harvest had been successful, their wool production sufficient and the necessary repairs were completed. But there was no time for rest and jubilation. Both Pemberley and Nettleham had to be prepared for the possibility of another harsh winter.

Even in this task, she was his partner. Whilst he looked to the land, she considered the preparations the people on the estates required. He had on many occasions observed her and Georgiana as they worked and could not help but be proud of the woman he had chosen. He marvelled that there had been a time in his life when he had questioned her abilities and suitability. But he had been foolish to worry and she proved that every day.

He readjusted himself on his chair as he tried to return his attentions to the reports he had to read and approve. He had been halfway through a report from Mr Thomas when he heard a quiet knock on the door of his study. "Yes?" he said in reply and was surprised to welcome Mrs Hopkins into his study.

"I am sorry to disturb you, sir. But Philip is sick." She said quietly when she moved into the room.

"What is wrong with him?" He asked as he stood from his chair.

"He has a fever, sir." She replied and he raised his eyebrow in response. He thought it strange that she would be so worried over a trifle cold, but he suspected that Philip had been asking for him or Elizabeth, so he indicated that she lead the way and followed her to the nursery.

But he was wrong; it was not just a trifling cold. When he entered the room he saw that Philip was neither awake nor responsive and he was much too hot to the touch.

"What has been done?" He asked as the maid stepped aside for him to examine Philip.

"We have been applying wet cloths, sir." Mrs Hopkins replied. "But it has not helped." He looked around and saw the evidence of their care. But it was not enough.

"Philip?" He said softly, but Philip's rapidly fluttering eyelids and quivering lips were his only response. "Call Mrs Reynolds and Mr Keith." He said quickly but his voice was stern enough for both women to leave in an effort to execute his command. He went to the windows and threw them open. The air was cool and he hoped it would help. He then returned to the bed and began to remove the beddings that were not necessary.

"Sir, you called?" Mrs Reynold's gentle voice stilled his actions. As he looked up to see faces awaiting instructions he remembered that it was not his duty to strip the bedding. He stepped aside and the maid was quick to take his place.

"Philip is sick." He announced unnecessarily, "call Dr Marlow."

"I am sorry sir, but Dr Marlow has not yet returned from Brighton." Mrs Reynolds replied.

He sighed in response. "Who is available in the area?"

"Dr Jacobs, sir." They shared a look of concern. He shared her sentiments with regards to Dr Jacobs but this was not the time to be reserved.

"Call Dr Jacobs." He conceded.

"Very well sir." Mr Keith said and disappeared.

Mrs Reynolds came and stood by him and he appreciated her desire to comfort him. "We will try and get the fever down before the doctor arrives." She informed him. "The bedding should be changed completely." She said to those remaining as she began giving directions.

"I will take Philip." He announced and collected him from the maid. With Philip in his arms he went and stood by the window. The heat radiating from him caused Darcy's brow to furrow. How could this have happened, he wondered. They had never worried about Philip's health; they had been given no reason to do so. "Philip." He tried again, but he received no reply. When the bed had been made ready he returned him to it.

"Shall I send someone for Mrs Darcy?" Mrs Reynolds whispered as she came to stand by his side.

"Not yet. I will not have her unduly distressed." He explained.

"Keep him cool and perhaps some broth when he wakes." He said. "Has he woken up at all?" He asked as a fearful thought occurred to him.

"No sir." Was the dreaded response. A chill ran through his body and they all shared a fearful look. Philip had not been awake when Elizabeth had left for Matlock. They had come in to check on him, but had found nothing untoward. He was not an early riser and she had decided against waking him up only for him to be upset at her leaving.

"What else can be done?" He asked Mrs Reynold with a look of desperation.

"Perhaps a cool bath." She began suggesting when the maid gasped. He rushed to Philip's side to see what was wrong when he noticed the convulsions. He reached to pick the boy up but Mrs Reynolds took hold of his hand. Convulsions were contagious. So all he could do was watch as Philip's arms locked at his sides, his shoulders lifted and his small boy began to shake. They were neither rapid nor violent but it felt as though an eternity passed before the spasms stopped. When they stopped, he pulled his arm from Mrs Reynolds grasp and took hold of Philip. Of their own accord, his hands began to soothe his arms and stroke his small body. "Where is the doctor!" He snapped and the ladies jumped before Mrs Reynolds broke her own rule and ran out of the door. He could hear her calling out instructions as she left the room. "Get me a pen and paper." He requested from the startled maid and Mrs Hopkins left to answer his request. He did not know what to think. Elizabeth had never told him that Philip suffered from convulsions. Philip was a perfectly healthy boy, that was what he had been told. "Give me the wet cloth and refill that bowl." He said to the frighten maid that had been left alone with him. She hurried to do as he asked, spilling some of the water as she brought the bowl to him.

He returned his attentions to Philip's face and watched as his eyes fluttered open to reveal the whites of his eyes. "Papa's here." He said over and over again as he dampened Philip's head and arms. When Mrs Hopkins returned with some writing material, he was glad to see that Laura did not shy away from returning to Philip's side. He went to the nearest stable surface and began writing when the sky rumbled and the heavens opened. He should not have allowed her to leave. "Tell Mr Keith that Jack and only Jack is to take this." He said as he handed his hastily written letter over to her. Jack was the fastest rider amongst the footmen and by God's grace, he would get there before the rain worsen.

Almost immediately after she left, Dr Jacobs was announced. He pushed aside his reservations regarding Dr Jacobs and stood to greet the man.

"Dr Jacobs thank you for coming so promptly." He said as he shook hands with him.

"I hear Lord Rockwood has a fever?" It was common knowledge that Philip was not his son, but it had been a while since Philip had been addressed by his title and hearing it made the situation worse.

"Yes, and before you arrived he suffered a convulsion." He reluctantly admitted. "But I am told he has never suffered from fits and he is by all accounts a perfectly healthy boy." He rushed to say.

"Yes, well you never know who can be affected." The doctor replied condescendingly. But as he was speaking, the maid gasps again and stepped aside. It happened again. But this time the fits were quicker and more intense and it was heart-breaking to watch. Unwilling to stand by doing nothing he took out his pocket watch and watched the time. It lasted for less than three minutes.

"He must be bled." The doctor announced as soon as the fits ended. It was to be expected, but Darcy's jaw stiffened and his arm jerked in response. His father had died of an infection after he was bled. He felt Mrs Reynolds come to stand by his side as the rest of the room began making preparations to follow the doctor's instructions.

But he was a logical man. "No!" He said sharply.

"Sir?" Dr Jacobs was the only one who dared to reply. "He must be bled to release the harmful humours otherwise he will convulse again." Darcy turned to the window and away from the doctor as he tried to settle his heart. His eyes focused on the rain that was waging a war outside as he tried to think. He had known what Dr Jacobs would recommend when he sent for him. It was no secret that he preferred Dr Marlow because he was a man of progressive science. He would have had other suggestions.

"No." He said with greater conviction as he turned to the room.

"Mr Darcy if Lord Rockwood is not bled, he will wake up an illiterate, that is if he should wake up at all." The doctor said forcefully in his attempts to browbeat Mr Darcy.

"I know the risk of what I suggest, but I also know the risk of what you suggest. I believe our efforts are better spent bringing the fever down." He declared and was glad to see that whilst the men were squabbling the women had not ceased in their attentions to Philip.

"Very well." He said with a hard stare. "If that is all you need, then I think my assistant should suffice, or the local apothecary."

"Then I thank you for the use of your assistant." He said dismissively.

Mrs Reynolds escorted the doctor out, and as the door shut fear gripped Darcy by a cold heavy hand. He had just gambled with her son's life. But before that thought could cripple him, he remembered that he was not alone. "Has the water been drawn?" He asked as calmly as he could, but the women still jumped at the sound of his voice. But they all moved to action.

* * *

Throughout Pemberley's long history the entire household had come together in prayer on many occasions. The most fervent had been the day the last Lord Darcy had been taken to the Tower of London to await execution. That was until the day Mr Darcy dismissed Dr Jacobs and took the fate of Philip's life into his hands.

By the time the sun had begun to set Philip's fever was non-existent. It took an hour and twelve minutes from the time he was declared sufficiently cool enough to the time he opened his eyes and focused on Darcy's face. "Papa." He whispered hoarsely, and the taste of relief had never been sweeter.

But fear came to drive out relief. Dr Jacobs' predictions hung heavy on Darcy's shoulders and so for the rest of the day Philip was closely watched. From what they observed, Philip was like he always was. He was tired, but that was to be expected. He had no appetite, but they gave him broth and Darcy encouraged him to drink when he would not eat. His every need was tended to and when he asked for his mother, Darcy tentatively explained that she was away and would return as soon as possible. "Oh," was his only response before he drifted off to sleep. Mrs Reynolds had tried to encourage him to return to his room to sleep. But he would not hear it. A comfortable chair was all he needed, and so for the rest of the night, Darcy stood on guard.

The fever did not return, nor did the convulsions. When Philip woke the next day, he did what he could to comfort and tend to him. But they both wanted Elizabeth. He had sent her a letter when Philip's fever had gone. But he had made no mention of the convulsions, as he had been told the roads were impassable and he saw no need to worry her unduly. The remaining warmth of the summer season had returned and Darcy was glad for it, as the roads would dry quicker. So he knew that as soon as she could persuade his uncle to release her, Elizabeth would make her way to them.

As he predicted, by late afternoon their very muddy carriage was spotted making its way to the house. Ensuring that Philip was not left alone, Darcy made his way to greet his wife. But she did not wait for the carriage to stop, or for him to open the door for her. All that was left for him to do was catch her as she jumped from the carriage. He held her in his arms and whispered, "Philip his out of danger. He is fine." He said it over and over until she stopped struggling and sank into his arms.

"Thank you." She sobbed with relief. He let her go to help Georgiana out, but she did not remain by his side. She hoisted up her skirts and ran all the way to the nursery.

* * *

Pemberley's stairs numbered at over a hundred - including those designated for the servants to use. As Elizabeth made her way to the nursery she felt as though she had climbed all of the hundred and twenty-six stairs. She burst through the nursery's opened door to find her son awake and sitting on his bed.

"Mama!" He rejoiced as she took the remaining steps and wrapped him in her arms.

"Thank God!" She cried repeatedly as she kissed all of him. She heard Georgiana and Fitzwilliam enter the nursery behind her, so she picked up their son and stepped into her husband's embrace. He put his arms around all three of them and they remained in that manner for some time. But eventually she began to register Philip's weight and her exhaustion caught up with her. She handed Philip over to his father and sat in the nearest chair. "What happened?" She asked when he returned Philip to his bed. She collected the glass of water Georgiana handed to her and they both listened to all that he had to say. When he finished his narration, she set her glass down, stood up and took his face in her hands. "Thank you." She whispered softly and reached up to kiss his lips. "I have always disliked bloodletting and to my mind, it creates more problems than it solves." He wrapped his arms around her and she laid her head on his heart.

They spent the rest of the day in the nursery. All of them watching for signs of any peculiarities in Philip's behaviour. But there were none."Elizabeth, you are exhausted." Fitzwilliam tried again as she yawned. "Why do you not go to your room; I will remain here."

"Why did you not sleep in your room last night?" She challenged. He had been successful in persuading Georgiana to return to her room at the end of the day, but he will not be with her. She turned gently to look at her son, he had been fine throughout the day and had been sleeping just fine for some time now. But that was not enough of an inducement for her to return to her room.

"What are you doing?" She whispered as he moved to carry Philip. But he would not stop. So she got up and followed him. She followed him all the way to her door and helped him open the door.

He settled Philip on her bed and said, "there. If you will sleep with him, you might as well be comfortable." She kissed his cheeks and thanked him. After making all the necessary preparations for the night, they both settled on the bed with Philip sleeping between them.

"Elizabeth," he whispered after some time.

"Yes?" When he did not reply, she lifted her head to see his face.

"It is nothing." He finally replied, "goodnight my love."

* * *

Philip made a full recovery and despite Dr Jacobs' predictions he grew to be a strong and intelligent gentleman. Five days after the incident, he was already requesting his freedom from the nursery. But for the sake of her rather delicate heart, she kept him there just a little bit longer.

So she was not surprised to find that when she went up to check on him, he had made his escape. When she asked Laura where her son was, Laura's reluctance to reply that she could not say, told Elizabeth that he had had help in liberating himself. So she went in search of the master of the house. She found them in his study and was met by a very sweet image. For before her was Philip on Fitzwilliam's lap and the two of them were sharing some cakes and other sweet treats.

"It is no wonder that you have such a way with a small boy." She said to announce her presence. "You eat like a small boy, Fitzwilliam." The co-conspirators looked up and smiled at her. "You will spoil him and his appetite." She declared as Philip returned his attention to the treats on their plate.

"I think you will find that the blame for Philip being spoilt - if he is spoilt - lies elsewhere." He said with a smile.

"Yes, Jane has done her best to spoil him." She quipped. "But I had hoped with him being removed from her influence things would improve. But you appear determined to prove otherwise."

"I was not talking about Jane."

"I am shocked!" She exclaimed in mock horror. "I am ill-used! For there is nothing worse than for a father to accuse me of spoiling his son." She finished with levity and so was surprised to see that his smile had fallen off his face. Then she realised what she had said. His reaction hurt her, for she realised just how much she had hurt him. Even before he proposed to her, he had been willing to be nothing less than a father to Philip and she had undermined that desire every time she called Philip her son.

"Thank you for my son." He said, his voice full of emotion.

"You are welcome." They smiled at one another as she approached his desk, she kissed their cheeks and then left father and son to their treats.

* * *

A week after her hasty removal from Matlock had passed and Philip had returned to his state of perfect health and their family had never been stronger. So Elizabeth could happily receive her father and sister into her home. She had sent and received many letters from her family, but neither Mr Bennet nor Kitty had mentioned their plans to visit. But she assured them that their arrival was a wonderful surprise.

Once they had been given refreshments and adequate time to recover from their long journey, Elizabeth proudly showed them Pemberley. But she ensured that the library was the last room she showed them. The look on her father's face was all that she had expected and even Kitty could appreciate the majesty that was Pemberley's library.

"You are very cruel to show the library last, my dear." He said with his usual humour. "But this is beautiful." He declared with all sincerity.

"Yes, it is." She said proudly. "Fitzwilliam would have made himself available to show you around if he had had any notion of you coming to visit."

"Ah – Is that you hinting at our unannounced presence in your home?" He asked as he settled in one of the armchairs. "I will have you know that when I last saw your Mr Darcy he said – and I am quoting here, – 'come whenever you want, sir. You are most welcome.' I hope that is a sentiment you share, Elizabeth?"

"Of course it is, papa." She replied as she kissed his forehead. "How are mama and Lydia doing? Did they refuse to come along with you?"

"They are fine. But I am sure that Kitty can adequately inform you of your mother's latest nervous complaints." He said dismissively, she was a little peeved to be dismissed out of her own library. But, on second thought, she considered it a fitting retribution. After all, she had shown him the library last. So she left her father in peace.

Elizabeth was indeed very happy to see her sister. Letters were no substitute for speaking face to face. Of course, she had Georgiana and her company was precious to her. But just as she would not dream of replacing Georgiana with Kitty or Jane, Georgiana had not replaced any of her other sisters. So the three ladies sat together and talked. Kitty retold of all that she had experienced in town and Georgiana told of all they had accomplished in Derbyshire. Kitty was delighted that there was to be a ball and declared that if her father could be persuaded to stay for the ball, she would be Georgiana's companion for the night. Elizabeth tentatively asked about how things were in Hertfordshire and she was told all.

Lydia had improved, but not as much as any of her sisters would have wanted. The novelty did wear off, and when it did Lydia became less boisterous. But her youthful vigour and womanly figure still attracted some attention, and Lydia was not willing to behave in a manner that would minimise the attention she got. All her actions proved what Elizabeth suspected; Lydia was not without hope, but she required a firm hand and if her father would not provide it, Elizabeth was beginning to think a husband might.

She also heard from Kitty that Mr Bingley had not renewed his lease or purchased Netherfield Park. So the house stood empty and Mrs Bennet lamented the fact daily. She was proud to hear that Kitty, with Mrs Hill's encouragement, had taken up the duty of tending to their tenants. So she could give a favourable report on all of them. She informed them that Mr Bennet had occasionally ridden out to visit the estate. It warmed her heart to hear such news, but she also knew her father still had much to do.

Dinner that night was a wonderful affair. Mr Bennet informed them that he had no intention of staying until Elizabeth's ball. But he did not see why Kitty could not be left behind if her sister was happy to take charge of her. Elizabeth was happy to inform him that Kitty was welcomed for as long as she cared to remain with them. He then surprised them all by announcing that he intended to visit Jane in Leicester and Mary in Kent. Elizabeth could not describe her joy at hearing such news, so she said instead, "Do try to send a note beforehand. If you dislike the trouble, I can send one on your behalf."

"No. I think it would give them more joy if it came from their father's hand." He said with a significant look to his daughter.

* * *

Mr Bennet's visit was a wonderful time for everyone. To her surprise, her father had not spent the entire visit in the library. He spent the daytime with their family; he had been happy to entertain Philip or accompany Fitzwilliam and he had even spent an afternoon with her. Their time together was so precious that no one could begrudge him for spending the evenings in the library.

Unwilling to disturb their time together, Elizabeth had postponed speaking with her father. But it had to be done; so she made her way to the library, where she knew he would be. On entering the library, she picked up the nearest book, sat across him and paid it some attention. He had acknowledged her presence when she had entered, but they had remained silent. As she waited for the right opportunity to interrupt him, he looked up and said, "Lizzy I suggest you start by just saying what you need to."

"I would not want to intrude." She dissembled.

"A necessary evil when you have something to say." When she did not immediately reply he said, "it is a difficult thing to challenge a beloved parent, is it not. You have more courage than any young lady I have ever seen my dear." He got up from his armchair and joined her on the chaise and took her hand.

"It is not my intention to challenge you." She whispered as her father kissed her forehead.

"Reprove then, and it would be well deserved. But if I may say it is unnecessary." At her quizzical frown, he continued, "I am not saying my actions do not warrant reproof. I imagine they always have. But great men always have the ability to influence plain men such as myself. It was that way with Andrew and even now, with Mr Darcy."

"What has he said?" She asked surprised.

"Nothing, as is his want. But then great men never have to say anything to affect change, and Darcy is a great man. If you would permit me, I would say he is an even better man that Andrew. It is rare for a gentleman to care for his own children, so I cannot help but admire Darcy for caring for Philip as he does. But that is not the present issue. I have a decision to make. Should Lydia be sent away?" He asked.

She looked at him and a part of her wondered if he was not, yet again, trying to pass off his responsibility. "I would say more than anything Lydia needs her father."

They sat in silence for some time before he said, "I had not planned to be a negligent father. I was disappointed that I did not have a son. But that is no excuse."

"No, it is not." She replied a little sharper than she intended. "Neither of us could help it and it is not mama's fault." He sighed heavily. "But let us not dwell on the past. Neither mama or Lydia would accept being sent away and I can imagine their complaints would harm your determination to take charge of the situation." She had no intention of being too harsh on him, but it was the truth and he knew it.

"Yes, it would." He graciously admitted. "And I have no intention of setting myself up for failure. Your uncle has found a governess…"

"That alone will not help things." She interrupted.

"I know this." He replied defensively. "I make no promises, my dear. But I will try, for my sake and yours. I hope you will never experience the pain I feel, my dear. It is not a small thing to disappoint the ones you love." He finished. She sighed and kissed his hand. He was wrong, she knew the pain all too well.

"I have never been ashamed to be Elizabeth Bennet." She declared. "I was disappointed, but because you have shown me so much love and patience. You have raised and nurtured me into what I am." Her voice broke. "I was disappointed because I knew what you were capable of. I am grateful to be the recipient of your love. But I am asking that you show that love to Lydia."

"That is fair to ask of me and I promise to do so." They sat in silence for some time. Before he did something he had not done in a long time. He read to her, and the timber of his voice brought comfort and a sense of security.

* * *

As Elizabeth watched her father's carriage pull away, her goodbye was bittersweet. She could only imagine how glad her sisters would be to receive their father, but with their relationship repaired she was sad to see him go.

Once the carriage was no longer in sight, Fitzwilliam took her hand and together they made their way back inside. When they reached the door of her study, he kissed her forehead and then took his leave, and she felt bereft. She walked into her room and cast her eyes on all the things that required her attention. Georgiana and Kitty were off somewhere together; she had assured them that she would not need their help with the remaining preparations for Lady Anne's ball.

After Philip's illness, she had proposed that the ball should be cancelled. Surprisingly it was Fitzwilliam that objected and she was glad he had. But as she sat in her study the preparations for Lady Anne's ball could not hold her attention. Her mind and heart would not allow it.

A serious examination of her life thus far had always intruded whatever task she had given her time to. She had looked upon the last four years of her life with the critical eyes of maturity and it had been a painful experience.

She had loved Andrew. But with the wisdom she had gained, she could not wholeheartedly say that their love would have been able to grow and weather the storms of life. She hoped that, if she had been fated to spend the rest of her life with him, she would have endeavoured to nurture their love each day. But she feared that by the time her eyes were opened to the imperfections in her notions of love, she would have been too weary to fight for their love. She feared that her love for Andrew lacked the foundation needed to stand the test of time, and so one day she would have woken up disillusioned with her partner in life.

There had been so much that had encouraged her to be foolishly in love so quickly. But much of what had encouraged her affections for him were not sound. Her pride and vanity had been given too much consideration, she had finally admitted. At the young age of seven and ten, her mother's lamentations about her impertinent ways had been proclaimed loudly and often enough. She had begun to submit to the notion that her character would leave her an old maid, undesired and unable to find love, destined to spend her time caring for Jane's children. So when she was chosen instead of Jane, she had secretly been pleased. But she also realised that neither her pride nor her desire to be free from her mother's influence would have been enough encouragement. Andrew was a kind and loving gentleman. She loved him because of who he was, but her father was right, Fitzwilliam was a better man.

Her warm thoughts about her husband were interrupted by his entrance. Her face lit up with a smile that could not be maintained without causing pain, but she could not help it. But as she looked at him, she realised he was very apprehensive and she frowned instead.

"May I have a moment of your time?" He asked as though he was speaking to his steward.

"Yes, of course. You need not ask." She replied as he took his seat. She disliked the distance between them, so she got up from behind her desk and joined him on the chaise. It was then she noticed he held something in his hand, a book. On closer inspection, she noticed it was the book she had thrown at him that day when she allowed her fears to override sound judgment.

She looked at him quizzically as he said, "I do not know how this will be received, but I hope you will take it and consider that at the time I was thinking only of you, and I had the best intentions." She collected the book from him, in between the book were some documents. But that did not hold her attention. The binding that she had damaged when she threw the book, had been fixed by him.

She looked up into his eyes and she knew; it had alway been there. She had liked him the day he had held their son in his hands, she had respected him the day he requested mercy for Mr Wickham and had trusted him long before she agreed to share her life with him. "I love you." She whispered. She looked at him to see if he had heard and he had. He stared at her, but said nothing, so she continued, "I am so sorry it took so long to understand, to see the foundation that we had built for love to grow. But with all my heart I love you Fitzwilliam." There was only one emotion on his face; joy.

He gathered her into his arms and said, "I love you, my Elizabeth." They shared a sweet and loving kiss before he brought her attention back to the book. "I do not know how this came about, but there is something you must see." He said as he handed her the documents that had been tucked in the book.

They were Change of Custody papers; he had gotten Lord Durham to sign over Philip's guardianship. She looked at him confused. When had such a thing taken place? How had he persuaded Lord Durham to hand over Philip's guardianship? She was free. She read the documents thoroughly for answers. Along with Philip's custody papers were the documents detailing Lord Durham's duplicity. She looked at him, shocked by all she had read.

"Why have you not given me these before?" She asked confused.

"With regards to the first set of documents, I did not want your gratitude. As for the second, I did not know how to tell you."

"Oh, my beloved husband." She said softly as she stroked his cheeks. "You have my eternal gratitude, whether you care for it or not."

"So you are not upset?" When she frowned, he explained. "You do not think it highhanded, that I named myself as his guardian? I have been thinking that it might have been better for me to have given you full guardianship, but I feared it might be challenged and I…" She placed her hand on his mouth and stilled his words.

"I am so sorry Fitzwilliam." She said as tears gathered in her eyes. "I doubt I will ever know the extent of the pain I caused you. But for you to think I would not have recognised the love and care that caused you to do such a thing for me and Philip, hurts me. As to the other matter, know this, our son is blessed to have your love and guardianship."

Tears gathered in his eyes, but they did not fall. She went deeper into his embrace and laid her head upon his heart. The rest of the afternoon was spent in each other's embrace and she soon fell asleep with her head on his heart.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: I am sorry about the problems with this chapter, it was not meant to be uploaded so early. I have also being having some issues with this site, I could not view some of the reviews posted, but this seems to have resolved itself. To answer some questions: Philip had a febrile seizure, it is common in young children when they have a high fever. It can precede epilepsy in later life, but that is not the case with Philip. His fever was as a result of an infection from his fall in the lake.**

Chapter 26

Darcy awoke sharply with a gasp. Something was wrong. When his heart stopped racing, he turned to his side to be reassured by his wife's presence. As her gentle breathing calmed his heart, he returned his head to his pillow. There should be nothing wrong. He had been given everything he could have wanted, but the sense of foreboding would not leave him. It had started the night she had given him the assurance of her love. So for the last three days, he had awoken sharply, in a pool of sweat with his heart racing. But he could not remember the content of the dream that had startled him awake.

He turned to face his wife, but she had her back turned towards him, so he drew closer to her. As the scent of her hair filled his nostrils and her curls tickled his chin he reminded himself of all that he had gained. But it was not how he had expected it to be. The assurance of her love was all that he had thought he needed to be complete. Even before she whispered words of love, he felt loved. He was not ignorant of how brightly she lit up when he entered the room or the fact that she knew him, even when he was hiding from himself. But the words were all he lacked; until she said them to him.

Her words brought joy, but it also brought a fear that he could not admit. A fear he was ashamed to admit, even to himself. Her words changed everything. The sun now rose because of her, and it would set without her. And that frightened him. Of all the similarities he shared with his father, he had never wanted to share his father's capacity to love.

As his mind drifted further into his fears he separated from her and was about to rise when he felt her stir and then turn toward him. But she did not wake and he was glad for it. Even in the dark, she could read what was not written on his face, and he would not have her distressed by his fears. When she settled into a comfortable position, he relaxed back into their bed. Slowly he raised his hand and laid it on her slightly protruding abdomen. Her condition became more evident with each passing day, and as he lightly stroked her stomach, he cast his mind to all her words of comfort. He continued his actions for some time and he allowed her gentle breathing to reassure him that the sun would rise today.

* * *

Elizabeth had expected the days after her declaration of love to be marked by drastic changes in their day to day life. But there were none. She had loved her husband long before she had realised it and so there was no need for changes. A perceptive observer might have noticed that Mrs Darcy smiled longer and wider than was her want. But she could not help it. Occasionally a servant would be surprised to catch Mr Darcy displaying outward signs of affections to his wife, but in Mr Darcy's defence, he had no notion that he was being observed.

Life continued as it had always done at Pemberley. Two days before Jane and Robert were expected to arrive, Elizabeth received and unexpected letter. She had neither heard from nor written to the Durhams since before her marriage. Once she had left London, Elizabeth had no problem considering that part of her life over. As she stared at the unopened letter, she could not imagine what Lady Durham could have to say. But eventually her curiosity got the better of her, so she opened it.

 _My dear friend, I know I have no right to address you as such but I find myself in need of a friend. So I appeal to your generous heart to allow for such familiarities. I am well, and though you may not care to know, Lord Durham is well also._

 _It will not surprise you to know that he has found himself a mistress and he has no desire to be discreet. But I choose not to care; in truth, I am trying not to care. But it is too humiliating. We returned to London from Bath and it was already well known amongst the small society left in London. Their look of condescension and pity was all too familiar. Familiar, because I had worn that look more times than I care to admit. But it is a strange thing to no longer be the spectator. I would much rather stand in the sidelines and pity Lady Durham – whilst blaming her for her husband's infidelity – than live her life. But it is my lot in life; I only wish I had chosen it, at least then I would have no one but myself to blame._

 _I would have loved to return to Durham, but for the time being, I must remain in London, because I am with child again. This is my purpose in writing to you, that I may share this news. You know of my struggles and you know the joy I feel at such news. But Elizabeth, I share this with you, and only you, I am frightened. I know this is my last chance to bear a child. With Durham now occupied with his mistress, and the general state of our marriage, I cannot imagine my husband having any more patience with me. Truth be told, I do not think I have the strength to face another pregnancy should this one follow after the others._

 _So I must remain in London to have access to the best doctors. But my days are very bleak. My mother has returned to London to keep me company. But I find I can do without her company. It is ungrateful for me to feel this way, but I have had enough of hearing how embarrassing it would be to lose my child - whilst my husband makes it clear to all and sundry that he has no more use for me._

 _But I must not dwell on such things, as I am told it would harm the child. Dr Richmond, who I am sure you are familiar with, has ordered bed rest from noon till dinner. So I have no hope for society even should I wish for it. But I find that at present, I do not wish for it. I now see some of the hypocrisies that offended you and my solitary confinement gives ample time for reflection. Such reflections have shown just how much my thoughtless actions must have added to your pain, and I am sorry._

 _Pray for me my friend. I could not go through this knowing that you thought ill of me. I hope all is well at Pemberley and that you and your family are in good health. I miss you._

 _Your loving friend,_

 _Amelia Durham._

Elizabeth was ashamed of herself; in her anger and disappointment she had forgotten her friend's vulnerability and so, she had forgotten her friend. The joy she had experienced in her marriage had made her forget the reality of what marriage was like for many others. She knew if she ever had a reason to doubt Fitzwilliam's fidelity, her world would collapse. She was happy to hear her friend's news, but she could not help but worry for her, Amelia had no more room for any more heartbreak. And she was angry at Lord Durham; he truly was a poor excuse for a gentleman.

As she prepared to respond to her friend, she felt a slight flutter in her abdomen. She had been feeling the inward movement of her child. But the babe, stubbornly, refused to move in such a way that could be felt by Fitzwilliam. She had begun the first sentence in her reply when the flutters became more forceful. Her hands dropped to her stomach and she waited until she felt it again. In her joy, she jumped out of her chair and ran the short distance to Fitzwilliam's study.

In her haste, she ignored the closed door and burst through to find her husband in a meeting with Mr Keith. "I am sorry to disturb you." She apologised as both men arose in search of the danger.

"Elizabeth! What is the matter?" Fitzwilliam asked worriedly.

"Nothing." She turned to Mr Keith and smiled. "I am sorry Mr Keith, but could you leave us please." He nodded politely and closed the door behind him.

"Elizabeth?" He asked as she walked towards him and took hold of his hand and placed it on her abdomen. They did not have to wait long for their child to move once again and her dark green eyes doubled in size as she looked at him. "That is…"

"Our child." She completed for him. She stretched as far as she could, wrapped her hand behind his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

"Does that happen often?" He asked when their child moved again, interrupting their kiss.

"Yes, and it will continue to do so until it becomes a nuisance." She quipped but he frowned in response. He took her by the hand, led her to the chaise, and sat down pulling her onto his lap as he did so.

"I do not like to see you distressed." He whispered into her ears as she settled on his chest.

"It is a necessary burden, but one I bear with joy." She replied and he kissed her head. "Lady Durham is with child." She shared to fill the silence.

"Mr Bingley is engaged." He said in response.

She turned on his lap to face him and asked, "to whom?"

"A Miss Victoria Hunter of Rotherham, South Yorkshire." Her eyebrows shot up in response. "Do you know her?"

"In passing." She said absentmindedly. "I am surprised at your friend being engaged. But I suppose his sisters were eventually going to find someone who met their exacting taste. Although, from what I know of Mr Hunter, I am surprised he would let his younger daughter marry the son of a tradesman. But I suppose Mr Bingley is malleable and rich, that would be of some benefit to him."

"Is that your impression of my friend?" Fitzwilliam frowned.

"That is the impression I have of the gentleman who encouraged my sister's affections and was then encouraged to disregard her delicate heart." She challenged.

"I thought you bear Mr Bingley no ill will?"

"I do bear him no ill will. But you must own, he lacks conviction and many will take advantage of that. From what I remember of his would-be father-in-law, he can be counted amongst those who would seek to take advantage."

"What do you know of Mr Hunter?"

"Nothing specific. All I can hold against the gentleman is his penchant for condescending remarks. But then again he is the youngest son of a Baron, and so entitled to his condescending remarks. Andrew did not care for the gentleman, and so we had very little dealings with the family."

"You have never spoken of your late husband," Fitzwilliam said tentatively after she had once again settled in his arms. "I imagine the anniversary of his death must be coming up soon." He continued when she said nothing.

"No, it has passed." She eventually replied.

"Why did you not say anything?"

"What would you have me say?" She replied, unsure if she wanted to talk about Andrew, it had never occurred to her that he would have questions.

"Would you tell me about him?" He asked and she turned to face him.

"Did you know Andrew at all?" When he shook his head, her eyes dropped to his necktie. She took its ends into her fingers and began. "Andrew was a kind and loving man. He loved society, but there were very few people he considered to be his friend. As you know he had a difficult relationship with his brother, and he had no other close member of his family, so family was important to him. He died after a riding accident. He was riding after his brother, they had had a disagreement, and John had left in haste. He was a great horseman, but I sometimes think he forgot how to be careful."

"So you were happy." He said when she became silent.

"Yes." She replied after some time, but then she turned to him and said, "yes we were happy. But Andrew was not perfect, and neither am I." He nodded to encourage her to continue, "he loved me, you see, but he could not always trust me. He had little faith in my abilities. I was so young when we married, and he was so used to controlling everything. So we were not always happy. But when we were happy we were very happy." When it was clear she would say no more, he took her by the hand and kissed it.

"I will endeavour to never underestimate you." He promised.

"I doubt I would ever allow you to do so." She quipped and he smiled. "So when is Mr Bingley's wedding?"

"The twelfth of November."

"I imagine he has asked you to stand up with him?" He nodded in response. "It would be an opportunity for us to visit Nettleham." She suggested

"You would accompany me, despite your reservations?"

"Well, I have no intention of leaving you to fend off Miss Bingley's advances all on your own."

He laughed and said, "I have done so for quite some time now."

"Well, now you have me." She declared and kissed him.

"Yes, I do." He whispered against her lips.

* * *

A day before Elizabeth expected her sister, she received an unexpected surprise. She had been coming from the music room, where she had left Georgiana and Kitty practising a duet that they were preparing for the ball when Mr Keith came to inform her that she had visitors. Right on his heels came Lottie and the Colonel.

"Well, this is an unexpected surprise." She embraced her friend before she led them to the drawing room. A footman was sent to inform her husband and sisters, and some refreshments were called for. "To what do we owe this pleasure?" She asked as Fitzwilliam entered the room.

"Fitzwilliam? Charlotte? Is there something wrong?"

"We have come seeking sanctuary." Lottie declared, then waited for the refreshments to be brought in and the servant to leave. The drawing room door opened a third time to admit Kitty and Georgiana. The ladies shared a warm embrace with Charlotte, whilst the Colonel hugged Georgiana and bowed exaggeratedly to Kitty before kissing her hand.

"Before you begin with what I imagine will be a very tall tale, can I ascertain that no member of your family is in mortal danger?" Fitzwilliam inserted before Lottie could begin.

"What a person considers to be mortal danger is subjective, Darcy." She replied firmly. "But since you are so pedantic, I will say, papa, mama and Cromford were in good health when we left them."

"So why do you seek sanctuary?" Elizabeth asked after she had seen to the tea.

"Well, it is all your fault, Darcy." She declared with great energy.

"Mater and Pater are determined to see all of us, equally well disposed of in marriage, and it is said that the upcoming ball is just the place to scout out potential suitors," Richard explained with a little less emotion and they all laughed.

"It is not a laughing matter!" Lottie exclaimed only mildly irritated. "We were lucky to escape with our lives. Well – Cromford was not so lucky. But then he hardly put up much of a fight. Since their return from Bath, he has his sights on marriage.

"Well, he is rather old." Georgiana injected. "Perhaps it is time he set his sights on marriage, and you too Richard."

"My dear Georgiana," the Colonel said with an exaggerated bow as he took her hand to kiss it. "You are the only one for me." With his hand on his heart, he continued, "But alas you are my ward and not of age so we cannot marry. All hope is lost and so I must prepare myself for a life of perpetual loneliness." He finished with a wink in her direction and Elizabeth watched as both Kitty and Georgiana blushed.

"Oh, Dicky! Do be serious!" Lottie snapped.

"Do not call me that!" The Colonel replied very sternly. "You forget I am an officer of the King."

"And you forget that I am your sister, sir, and I will not be intimidated by you."

"I do wonder why you would seek sanctuary at Pemberley, where the ball is expected to take place," Kitty observed, disrupting the squabbles between the two siblings.

"Yes Fitzwilliam, it is hardly a credit to your military knowledge, that your plan was to escape the battlefield by arriving early to the battlefield," Darcy observed.

"Yes, well as you can imagine, I was not the captain of this ship." He said with a significant look to his sister.

"There was no time for strategic planning," Lottie said defensively. "In any case, the problem is in the person Cromford has chosen. Mama is on a warpath and papa is torn between his political ambitions and good sense. Whilst Cromford intends to subject us all to another harpy in the family. It has been nonstop arguing and mama's conclusion is that if we were all married by now, she would not be in her current predicament."

"Who exactly has Lord Cromford chosen?" Elizabeth asked indulging her friend's histrionics.

"Lady Agatha Huxley." She replied dramatically. On hearing that name Elizabeth's eyes met her husband's and they both laughed.

"It is no laughing matter," Lottie whined. In truth, it was not, but they could not help themselves. Lady Agatha had earned a reputation for being rather spoilt, but she was very well connected and so she could afford to forget the niceties of society when it suited her. From what Elizabeth knew of Lord Cromford, she imagined he was politically ambitious enough to seek such an alliance.

"I am sorry my dear," Elizabeth said as she patted her friend's hand. "But they are not married yet." She tried to encourage.

"I doubt your parents would want to see Cromford so poorly matched," Georgiana said.

"Pater is unsure. He believes Lady Agatha can be managed by a firm hand, and a good marriage can provide that. But mater is set against it." The Colonel gently explained.

"I think his Lordship is merely bringing on a world of trouble on himself, should he enter a marriage with a view of changing his spouse." Elizabeth declared. "But you have sanctuary here my friend. Will you be making an escape before the ball?"

"No!" The Colonel said forcefully, with a hard stare aimed at his sister. "I value my life more than indulging your aversions to marriage. And mater is right, you should be married by now, you will soon be an old maid."

"Richard you are a veteran of the Napoleonic Wars," his sister replied her voice was deadlier than his. "If you have any ambitions of returning to your men on the battlefield I suggest you stop with such treacherous words."

"I will see to your rooms," Elizabeth announced as brother and sister continued to stare at one another.

The Fitzwilliams were a wonderful addition to the company at Pemberley. Despite the threats made on their first day, brother and sister remained civil with one another and during the ball, the Colonel was seen on numerous occasions deflecting unwanted attentions from Lady Charlotte.

* * *

Elizabeth was excited to watch as her sister's carriage came closer and closer to the house. She had been unable to wait inside for her sister's arrival, and so her face was the first face Jane saw when her carriage stopped. She stepped back from the carriage to allow Robert to help his wife to alight from the carriage, but as soon as Jane's feet were on solid ground Elizabeth threw her arms around her sister. Their tight embrace alerted Jane to that which was in the midst of them and her sister pulled back, "Elizabeth?" she asked searching her sister's eyes.

"Surprise," Elizabeth said sheepishly and Jane exclaimed and threw her arms around her sister. Fitzwilliam saved the sisters the trouble of explaining their odd behaviour and told Robert their happy news. The rest of the party had previously been told and so Fitzwilliam received Robert's warm congratulations. When Elizabeth finally allowed Jane to be greeted by the other people who had assembled to do just that, the party made their way inside.

It was a joyous reunion, where no one observed the rules of polite conversation, they all shared whatever news they had to share all at once. After a while, Elizabeth released the Stanleys to go and refresh themselves and when they returned Robert was given an abbreviated tour of Pemberley.

With such a large party it was a little difficult for Elizabeth to find time alone with her sister, but as there was no pressing need for it, Elizabeth did not try and orchestrate time alone with Jane. She saw daily evidence of the felicity in her sister's marriage, and her sister witnessed the love between Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam.

There was no need to plan excursions for the party, the women were happy to spend their time in preparation for the Ball - although there was no longer anything to prepare – and the gentlemen spent their time on the estate or enjoying the ladies' company.

The morning before Mary's arrival, two days before the ball, Elizabeth finally had a private moment with her sister. She found Jane in her room, and on entering she dismissed her sister's maid and helped Jane finish her hair. "How are you, Jane?" She asked as she inserted some pins here and there.

"Very well." Jane smiled.

"I am glad to hear that, I had no doubts of course, but all the same it is glad to see you doing so well."

"I could say the same thing about you, my dear. I knew you would come to love him in time. But I do wonder what made you see what was right before your eyes?"

Elizabeth laughed and said, "I cannot fix the exact moment when it happened. I was in love long before I knew it. But a right understanding of my relationship with Andrew certainly helped." She hugged her sister's shoulders and said, "I cannot fathom why I should be so blessed as to have love in my life for the second time. It is so rare; many still hope to be loved just once and now we are blessed with a child. I want for nothing."

"I am so happy for you, my dear, and you deserve to be so loved," Jane said softly.

"Do you have similar happy news to share?" Elizabeth said asking the question that had been on her mind since her sister arrived.

Jane blushed then said, "Not yet."

"Well, I imagine your diligent efforts will soon yield good fruits," Elizabeth said with a coy smile.

"Elizabeth!" Jane exclaimed, then laughed and her sister joined her. "Have you told mama of your happy news?" Jane asked, chasing Elizabeth's laughter away.

"No, not yet," Elizabeth answered a little guilty. "I know I should, but the many pieces of advice she gave when I was carrying Philip are no inducements for me to do so now. But papa knows and as soon as Mary knows, I will share my happy news with her."

"So mama, papa and Lydia will not attend this ball?" Jane asked changing the subject

"No, they will not. Papa will not give Lydia permission to attend, and mama informed me she will not be attending, she has chosen to stay and support Lydia instead. Although I suspect the prospects of travelling for five or six days, has robbed Pemberley of its appeal. You know Mama dislikes travelling."

"Yes. She has yet to visit us in Leicestershire."

"Amelia is with child," Elizabeth announced as she finished Jane's hair.

"Oh, that is wonderful news!" Jane proclaimed. "I have not heard from her, but I must admit I have not been diligent in my correspondence to her." Elizabeth suspected as much, but she was determined that they would all extend an arm of friendship to Amelia.

"Yes, I have also neglected to write," Elizabeth admitted. "But we must do so now, she is in need of our support."

"What is the matter?"

"Lord Durham has found himself a mistress," Elizabeth said and watched as Jane's hand balled into a fist.

She sighed deeply before she replied, "I could not imagine such a betrayal."

"We are lucky we never have to," Elizabeth said and they walked hand in hand to join the rest of their family to break their fast.

Mary received a very similar welcome to the one Jane received, and she found out the news of Elizabeth's current condition just as Jane had. But there was even less time to spend in Mary's company. Pemberley's doors were thrown wide open to receive all and sundry. Those who were close friends or family were invited to stay at Pemberley during the days before and after the ball and Fitzwilliam occasionally whispered that he had no idea that they had so many who could be considered as friends or family.

As Elizabeth descended the stairs with her husband's help, on the day of the ball, she was happy with all that she saw. But the look of pride and admiration on her husband's face was all she needed to declare the night an unparalleled success.

They could not have been more proud to welcome their guests into Pemberley and despite Fitzwilliam's taciturn nature, he was happy to take his cue from his wife. In accordance with custom, Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam opened the ball with each other. "You look beautiful." He said as he stared deeply into her green pools.

"You have already said that." She said as she blushed.

"Well, it cannot be said too often." He whispered softly and they said nothing to one another for the rest of the dance; no words were needed.

It was some time before Elizabeth had the privilege of dancing with her husband again and she was happy to see that he did not shirk his duty for the night. After he danced with his sister, her sisters and his cousins, he paid his compliments to some young ladies sitting down without a partner.

After dinner, Elizabeth received the conclusive proof that she had won her campaign. Pemberley was re-established in Derbyshire. But as she received the nod of approval from Lady Matlock and Lady Northwick, she could not help but think how wonderful it would be to enjoy the company of her beloved husband unencumbered by social engagements.

* * *

The days after the ball saw the slow trickle of guests leaving Pemberley and though Elizabeth was sad to see her sisters leave, she could not help but be relieved. The morning after the ball was marked by tiredness the likes of which she had never experienced. It would seem her body had stored just enough energy to see her through the ball and its many preparations.

Unable to hide her situation from her husband, she had submitted to his excessive fussing and over pampering. But as she had just enough energy to eat, she thought it sound to remain in bed. Those who had remained at Pemberley had been informed of Elizabeth's delicate condition and so they were willing to excuse her less than proper neglect of her guests.

Jane invited Mary and Kitty to view her home in Leicestershire, and so five days after the ball Pemberley was emptied of all except the Darcys.

Elizabeth was worried, it had been five days and she still felt tired all the time. It was becoming a nuisance. No matter how much she slept, she received no renewal of her strength. But when she started to feel restless, she arose from her bed and went in search of her family. At first, when she had been bedbound – by Fitzwilliam's orders – Georgiana and Fitzwilliam had kept her company, but there was work to be done on the estate and she refused to allow the necessary work required to be left uncompleted.

When she made it to her office, she was happy to find Georgiana hard at work. "Where is Fitzwilliam?" She asked on entering the room.

"He has gone to check on the work being done on the west fields. Should you not be in bed?"

"Yes, but I felt a change of scenery might be beneficial." She replied and Georgiana frowned. "I am not so fragile as your brother makes me out to be. Whatever this is, it will pass." She said as she sat in her chair. They had been sewing some small garments for the tenants' children and other small tokens, for the festive season, and so Elizabeth picked up the small cap she had been making and settled into the task with Georgiana.

Things had been going on well for some time and Elizabeth had begun to feel secure in her decision to leave her room when her eyes unfocused and she felt light. She slowly set down the needle in her hand and waited for the moment to pass, as it had always done for the last five days. "Elizabeth you do not look well," Georgiana observed politely and came to stand by her. But the fog would not lift and her heart began to race, she took deep breaths to fortify herself but the fog kept on descending. "Perhaps, I should call Fitzwilliam," Georgiana said but she barely registered her sister's worried tone.

"I will return to my room and then you may call him." She said as she began to rise, she did not want Fitzwilliam to find her ill and out of her bed, he would be so disappointed. She kept her hands on the table until she felt strong enough to take her first step. She had moved away from her desk, with Georgiana behind her, when she could go no more. In the millisecond it took for her to collapse on the floor, all she could think of was Fitzwilliam; he would be so disappointed.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Fitzwilliam hated dealing with disputes between tenants, and as a rule, he generally did not involve himself in such issues. He had a competent steward and so could afford the luxury of avoiding such circumstances. But he had been advised by Elizabeth and his steward that his presence would speed up the negotiations between two farmers on his land. So he had, reluctantly, left his wife to attend to the issue. And he was not happy.

They had come to the same resolution that had sufficed since the problems had arisen, over a decade ago. But each year Mr Holland argued against the established mode of doing things for the sake of monetary gains. It was a waste of his time, and as Darcy handed his horse to the stable-boy, he tried to ensure that his frustration was not evident in his actions. He continued on to the house at a leisurely pace. As his mind turn back to his wife, he was worried. She had been assuring him that a doctor was not needed, and her illness would pass. But it had yet to do so, and he hated to see her so inactive. Elizabeth was active, joyful and full of life. She was not suited to being indoors and she did not have the patience to remain bedridden for much longer.

His entrance was disrupted by a collision with Mr Keith. "Sir!" He said startled. "My apologies, we were just about to send someone to call for you, sir."

"Elizabeth?" He asked, but did not wait to receive a reply, as he ran to the stairs. "Where is she?" He remembered to ask as he took the stairs two at a time. But before Mr Keith could reply, Georgiana called out from Elizabeth's study.

He burst in to find his delicate wife on the floor with her head being supported on his sister's lap. His heart dropped and his knees faltered as he knelt to pick her small hand. "Call the doctor, Mr Keith."

"He has already been called, sir."

"How long?" He asked Georgiana in desperation as he cradled his wife's head against his chest.

"Not long, perhaps a minute." He should have walked quicker, he silently chastised himself.

"Elizabeth." He whispered, hoping against all reason. But he received no response. Unwilling to accept the weight of the situation, he placed his hand under her knees and carried his wife in this arms. His mind refused to register her weight, but it did register her shallow and depressed breathing.

As he made his way to their chambers, he heard their son call out, "mama?" He turned to observe their son and the look of concern on his small face broke his heart.

"Mama is well," he called out in an effort to reassure him, but the nurse had already collected her charge and spirited him away. He continued on to her room and laid her on her bed. As he settled her onto the bed, Georgiana came and took hold of his hand. "Go to Philip, he should not be worried," he said to her. "There is no reason to worry." He said reassuring no one.

Mrs Reynolds came in after Georgiana had left. He acknowledged her comfort as she placed her hand on his shoulder, but he paid no attention to her words.

Elizabeth had assured him that this would not happen, he thought as he fought against his anger. This was not supposed to happen. He took hold of her hand as he mumbled incoherent words of prayer. But every time he looked at the face of the strong woman he loved, his anger bubbled over; this should not have happened.

* * *

Elizabeth could hear Fitzwilliam's voice and though she could not hold onto his words, his voice was enough of an anchor. He was worried and as she felt his hand in hers, she gripped it in an effort to reassure him.

"Elizabeth?" He asked in desperation as he tightened his hold on her hand. Encouraged by his voice she opened her eyes to receive his relief, "Oh! Thank God!" He said again and again as he kissed her face. "How are you feeling my love?" He asked softly as he took his seat beside her.

"Unsure." She replied. She looked around as she tried to make sense of her surroundings. She was in her bedchamber; but it felt so foreign to her, so she tried to focus on her husband's face and the hand he still held onto.

"Do not rise." He said to her as he laid his hand on her shoulder to still her movement. So she returned her head to the pillow. Yes, she should not rise, she was too tired to do so. So she shut her eyes and gave into the tiredness.

"Elizabeth?" His panicked voice caused her to open her eyes again.

"I am well." She said as she fought to keep her eyes open. He leaned closer to her and began to stroke her face, she allowed herself to be comforted by his finger as it lightly stroked her cheek. When her confusion lifted, she remembered her fall.

Straightaway her hands moved to her abdomen in an effort to feel something, anything. "I fainted?" She asked unnecessarily.

"Yes." He replied and his finger stilled in its action, she looked at him and his tight expression caused her to drop her gaze.

"How long have I been unconscious?" She asked, still unable to feel their child.

"Not long." He sighed and said, "but it has felt like an eternity. I was so…You collapsed in your study, I carried you and brought you here. Philip saw me and was worried, Georgiana is with him." He explained unnecessarily.

"I assume you have called Dr Jacobs." She said quietly, still unable to meet his eyes.

"Yes, I have called him. I should have done so five days ago." He tried to keep his voice steady but he was unsuccessful. He had been in favour of calling the doctor that day after Lady Anna's ball, but she had persuaded him not to do so She had assured him that her tiredness would pass once she had been given sufficient time to recover from the stress of the ball.

"I have disappointed you." She whispered when she could finally look him in the eyes. He stood from his seat beside her and started pacing.

Eventually, he stopped pacing and whispered, "I am not disappointed Elizabeth; I am scared." He turned to look at her and his vulnerability was palpable. She tried to lift herself up so that she might console him, but she lacked the energy to do so.

A knock on the door was all it took for his vulnerability to retreat. He left her side and open the door to receive Mrs Reynolds.

"The midwife is here sir; I took the liberty of calling her in case she was needed." She said as she was followed by a short and sweet elderly woman. Mrs Morris' was blessed with great wisdom and experience, she had dedicated her life to helping women when they were at their most vulnerable and though she could not save everyone, she had yet to lose a patient due to gross negligence.

"Thank you, Mrs Morris, for coming so promptly," Elizabeth said as the woman moved closer to her bedside.

"Tis my pleasure ma'am." She smiled, then asked, "Mrs Reynolds told me you have had a fall, have you felt any movement from your child ma'am?"

"No." Elizabeth reluctantly replied as she watched for her husband's expression, but his face was expressionless."

"Not to worry, ma'am. After a fall the babe can sometimes be frightened." She said reassuringly. "Do you know how you fell ma'am?" At their confusion, she elaborated, "On your back or side, ma'am?"

"On her back," Fitzwilliam answered, his voice was very tight. She wanted to ask him to leave, to spare him any distress but she could not do that, she needed him.

"Well, that is good then." She turned to Mrs Reynolds and said, "Mrs Darcy may need some juice or a cold drink, just to wake the babe up. A glass should do the trick." Mrs Reynolds' instructions to Lucy was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"There will be no need for a midwife, sir." Dr Jacobs said on entering the room and observing its occupants. "After all, I intend to do all that I can to ensure Mrs Darcy's time does not come too early, so there will be no babe for her to clean." He declared to reassure Fitzwilliam. But Fitzwilliam was not reassured, neither of them were. Elizabeth stared at the doctor in shock. He was a stout, proud man with a pinched expression and immediately she did not trust him. To her greater shock he dismissed the midwife, but before she could protest, Mrs Morris had quietly slipped out of the room. Elizabeth turned her shocked countenance on Mrs Reynolds and was happy to see that, though she was not surprised, Mrs Reynolds face mirrored her disgust.

Fitzwilliam spoke up to defuse the tension, "thank you for coming, Dr Jacobs."

"How is Lord Rockwood?" The doctor enquired.

"Very well," Fitzwilliam replied, his voice a little smug.

"Hmm." The Doctor replied disbelieving.

"Mrs Darcy may I present Dr Jacobs. Dr Jacobs, my wife Mrs Darcy." Fitzwilliam conducted the introductions. When he finally gave his patient his attention, he looked down at her with a look of such condescension, that Elizabeth despised the fact that she had to face him in such a vulnerable position. She asked Lucy to help adjust her pillows before she could acknowledge the doctor's presence.

"Yes, well. Mrs Darcy, I understand that you have had a fainting spell." He queried as he walked to her side of the bed and she nodded. "Was it your first?"

"Yes."

"Although she has been feeling light and weary of late." Fitzwilliam inserted.

"Well, I see no reason to be unduly concern." The doctor declared and Elizabeth turned to smile at her husband. "Are you experiencing any abdominal pain?" He asked

"No, I am not. But I am still awaiting the movement of the child." She informed him, in the hopes that his advice would mirror Mrs Morris'.

"Well, it is not yet time to fret." He said and Elizabeth nodded along with him, happy to overlook his lapse in good manners. "But just to be safe, I think it right that you be bled." He concluded.

"I am merely fatigued, doctor. I hardly think that warrants the removal of a quart of blood." She said jovially in an effort to hide her disappointment.

"Well, we can hardly expect a woman of your delicate sensibilities to understand the intricacies of science." He said with great condescension and all traces of humour vanished from her face.

"I hardly think that is necessary, doctor." Fitzwilliam inserted as he drew closer to his wife.

"Now I know you do not like bloodletting Mr Darcy." He began as though he was scolding a foolish child. "It is perhaps not the most pleasant treatment, although some patients do feel a sense of relief after they have been bled. But it has been an accepted medical treatment for centuries now. With its benefits well recorded. Women, especially those prone to hysteria, should be bled regularly. It is of vital importance that Mrs Darcy is bled so that the child is not affected by her ill health." He turned to address Elizabeth and said, "You must accept that I know best, ma'am. After a fall, it would be wise for you to set aside your discomforts and do what is best for your child."

She turned her gaze to the doctor until he met her stern expression, she then turned to her husband and said, "Mr Darcy could you escort Dr Jacobs out, please. His services are no longer needed. I find his presence is upsetting my delicate sensibilities." She turned to receive the doctor's frown before returning her gaze to her husband as she waited for him to do as she had asked. He hesitated, but on ascertaining that she was perfectly serious, he did as she asked. She did not care for the doctor's look of great offence and when the men had left the room, she turned to Mrs Reynolds and said, "Could you please recall Mrs Morris."

"Yes, ma'am. She is just outside the door." The housekeeper smiled with a look of awe as she went to do as she had been asked.

"Thank you for coming again, Mrs Morris," Elizabeth said as she sat upright with her pillows at her back. "And I am sorry for Dr Jacobs behaviour, he was very rude."

"'Tis nowt ma'am. I am quite used to Dr Jacobs." She said kindly.

"So where were we?" Elizabeth asked with a smile.

"I was saying, ma'am, that some cold juice or lemonade should wake the babe."

"Do you have a remedy against this tiredness?"

"Meat ma'am. It helps in some women, makes them strong."

"Yes, I have had a certain desire for meats, of late."

"But if I may say so ma'am, it will only go so far. You must rest ma'am. If you are weak when the babe comes, well, it would be dangerous."

Elizabeth thanked her for her words and after a few more questions, Mrs Morris took her leave. Mrs Reynolds left to see to the cold drink and then Elizabeth was alone. As she wrapped her hands around her abdomen, she felt the enormity of her situation. It was so different the second time around. She had behaved foolishly; she had assumed that her good health and smooth delivery of Philip would guarantee her a smooth passage the second time. But before she could delve deeper into her self-reflections her door opened and Fitzwilliam came in.

"Elizabeth that was not well done. Dr Jacobs was very offended." He said on re-entering her room.

"Why should I care for the Doctor's sensibilities, when he showed no care for mine." She said exasperated by his lack of support.

"Yes, I understand that he was rude. But I would have handled it. He should not have been set down in front of Mrs Reynolds and your maid."

"Yet he had no issue abusing Mrs Morris, a woman I am told assisted at your birth, in front of Mrs Reynolds and Lucy."

"It is hardly the same thing."

"Because he is a man." She said stubbornly. "Well, I think even the good doctor would agree that a woman in the family way should not be distress. I am in the family way and he was distressing me. The solution seemed simple."

"I do not desire to argue this point with you." He said tiredly.

"And I do not desire that man's presence during the birth of our child." She declared.

"Elizabeth, be reasonable."

"I am perfectly reasonable!" She exclaimed. "I found Mrs Morris to be a fount of wisdom, her experience is second to none. It is not unreasonable for me to seek advice from a woman who has actually gone through what I am going through." She folded her arms before continuing, "why you men of science think you have the gospel on the female body is beyond my understanding."

"Yes, that all seems perfectly sound until you die during child birth because of Mrs Morris' incompetence." He said finally angry. She had forgotten his fears.

"Fitzwilliam." She called and when he finally looked at her, she patted the bed beside her for him to sit. When he did so, she picked up his hand and kissed it, encouraging him to speak.

He could not look at her as he said softly, "I never understood how my father could lose himself after my mother died. It always seemed as though he had so much to live for, even after her death. I was angry with him; until I met you." He finally looked into her eyes and continued softly, "I fear repeating his mistakes because I can think of no other solution – than what he did – should the worst happen."

"I am sorry." She whispered softly. "I have neglected the very real fears you have and I have given assurances and promises that are not mine to give. But I have faith, and I ask that you have faith with me. Because the truth is, I am scared also. I do not want to leave you or our children, and I will fight to ensure I do not. I will do whatever I can do, and I will trust in God where my strength alone is not enough. I can do no more than that. But I cannot have Dr Jacobs assistance during the birth of our child. You must understand, I have gone through this before. I have endured the pompous doctor whose only advice for me – as I laboured to bring our son into the world – was that we women make a fuss about nothing. I will not bear that again."

"I am sorry." He said after some time and he kissed her head. "I completely understand my love. Would you have Dr Marlow's assistance, if he was back in time for the birth? He is nothing like Dr Jacobs."

"If it would please you. But he will stay out of sight until he is needed." She declared as she drew closer to her husband.

Their quiet reflection was interrupted by Lucy as she came to bring the glass of cold juice. As she drank she explained to Fitzwilliam all that Mrs Morris had advised and when she was done they waited.

Thankfully, they did not have to wait long. When she started to feel the child's movement, she directed his hand to her abdomen.

"He is strong." She said as they both enjoyed their relief.

"He?" He asked his eyebrows raised. "Do you have some special means of divining the gender, madam?"

"No, just a lifetime of social expectations." He chuckled.

"I would not care if we have 10 daughters, with all of them moulded in your image" He declared and she laughed.

"You might regret that wish if they all had my impertinence." She said with humour.

"No. I would count myself blessed if all my daughters were blessed with everything that you are." Another knock interrupted their kiss and Georgiana and Philip entered her bedchamber.

"I am so glad everything is well!" Georgiana declared as soon as she entered the room.

Philip let go of her hand and ran to her bed. "Mama!" He rejoiced as Fitzwilliam helped him onto their bed. "Are you well?" He asked as he settled beside her.

"Yes, my dear boy." She kissed his cheek, "very well."

"How is the baby doing?" Georgiana asked as she sat at the end of the bed.

"Very well and moving again."

"Good. I was so worried."

"I am sorry to cause concern. But I am well." She said and smiled at her sister.

"Papa was carrying you." Philip offered to fill the silence.

There was a pregnant pause, before Elizabeth said, "yes he was, he is very strong." She pulled him closer to rest by her side and Fitzwilliam sat on the bed on Philip's other side.

Secured in between both of his parents, Philip declared, "I will be strong too when I grow up."

"Yes, you will." His father supplied.

"And the baby will be strong?" Philip asked and they all looked at him surprised. He had of course been told about the baby but from his lack of enthusiasm they had concluded that he was too young to understand, without the presence of a baby.

"Yes, the baby will be strong," Elizabeth reassured them all as she took his small hand in hers and laid it on her abdomen. She watched his face as the child moved, and cherished his look of inquisition. "The baby is kicking mama." She supplied.

"That's not very nice." He rebuked and they all laughed. She cuddled him closer to her and closed her eyes; she had been blessed with so much, and she would fight for it.

* * *

Under Mrs Morris' diet of meats and vegetables, and with the help of the entire household, Elizabeth was able to regain some of her energy. As promised, her daily activities were greatly reduced. With all that she had done to establish Pemberley in the society, she could not withdraw completely. But as her condition was now widely known, it was deemed appropriate for her to withdraw a little.

As November drew near and her health improved they began their preparations to visit Nettleham. At first, Fitzwilliam had been in favour of the trip being cancelled. But Elizabeth had been persistent in her persuasion; her heart was set on showing the estate to her family and she thought it only right that Fitzwilliam supported his friend as he entered into marriage.

On the first of November and after they had celebrated the harvest at Pemberley, they made their way to Nettleham. In his preparations for their travel, Fitzwilliam had been excessive; but she voiced no complaints. A journey that could take an afternoon, at most a day, was to be extended into a day and an afternoon. But he had their best interests at heart, so she smiled sweetly at him as he helped her into their carriage.

Their first sighting of Nettleham was not as spectacular as what a person might have experienced on seeing Pemberley for the first time, but the copper stone house was beautiful in its own rights. "This will be your home one day, Philip," she said to her son and received a very confused gaze in return. As they had been preparing for this trip, she had tentatively asked Fitzwilliam how they would explain to Philip – when he was old enough to understand – that Pemberley would not be his responsibility. His response had been succinct, "with the truth." He had not even spared it a second thought. She continued to worry until her husband had reminded her that their duty was to ensure that Philip loved Nettleham as much as Pemberley.

When they alighted from their carriage, she was happy to receive the warm welcomes from the many servants that had gathered to greet them. It was clear to see that they were missed and she felt a little guilty that she had neglected the estate for so long. But she also knew that she would not have been able to return to the house in the same spirits that she had left it.

Undaunted by the ghosts of the past, she followed the servants into the house and proudly introduced the estate to her family.

* * *

Darcy entered the drawing room and took his place beside his wife. He laid his hand on her shoulder, as they waited for their guests to be announced. They had been in Nettleham for a week and had settled in quite nicely. But despite the many comforts to be found in Nettleham, it was not Pemberley, it was not home.

Their visit was not a leisure trip; it could not be. From the minute they had arrived he had turned his attention to the estate. He had to become acquainted with the land and people on the estate. In this Mr Miller was indispensable. Their relationship had progressed into a mutual respect for one another and this ensured that Darcy was well received as the temporary master of the estate.

As he looked about the drawing room, he could appreciate the changes that Georgiana and Elizabeth had made. The ladies had made it their mission to see the house redecorated. It was important to Elizabeth, and they had done well. It was no small undertaking, and he had initially been worried about the effects of such an undertaking on her health. But she had kept her promise; she lifted nothing heavier than a teacup and delegated any task that did not strictly have to be done by her hands.

"Mr Bingley and Miss Bingley," Mr Jackson announced and Darcy stepped forward to shake hands with his friend and pay his respects to their guests.

"Congratulations on your engagement, Mr Bingley," Elizabeth said in greeting. Darcy watched his friend as he received her words. Bingley looked happy; it would seem that despite their preconceptions, his friend was happy with his choice.

"Yes, Miss Victoria is a splendid match for my brother, she has excellent connections." Miss Bingley offered. "We are all very happy, and Victoria is a sweet girl."

"I am glad to hear that," Elizabeth said gently, but he could not help but frown. It would seem that Miss Bingley had not changed.

"We are very happy that you have arrived in time to celebrate our good fortune, Mr Darcy. But I expected nothing less. You have always been a dear friend to us all."

"I value your brother's friendship." He said pointedly and watched as his friend squirmed in his seat, but still kept his silence. "I am honoured that you would consider me to stand up with you, Charles."

"Oh, Mr Darcy, there could be no one better." Miss Bingley answered for her brother. "I am so glad to see you again, my dear friend." She said addressing Georgiana. "It has been an age since we last saw one another."

"I am happy to renew my acquaintances with you all," Georgiana said with no remnant of the shyness that had been present before Elizabeth.

Miss Bingley's lips squeezed before she asked, "And how are you finding Pemberley, Mrs Darcy? I imagine compared to what you have been used to, Pemberley must be very daunting."

"Not at all," Elizabeth said with a patient smile.

But he would not have it. "My wife is being too modest. In the short time she has been there, she has reestablished Pemberley in Derbyshire." He said, ensuring that he did not hide his displeasure. "There is no one better suited to be Mrs Darcy."

"Yes, indeed my aunts have been well pleased with all that Elizabeth has done for Pemberley." Georgiana joined in support. "As I am sure you know, we recently had a Ball at Pemberley."

"Yes, we received your invitation." Miss Bingley interrupted, with a pointed look to her brother. "But we had to reject your kind invitation, on accounts of Charles' courtship to Miss Victoria. How are your sisters' doing?" She asked, but he suspected it was done out of more than courtesy.

"They are all very well. Jane and Mary are well settled and very happy with their partners in life, Kitty has gone to spend some time with the Stanleys and Lydia remains at home." Darcy did notice Bingley's slight response when Jane was mentioned, but he could not pity his friend. Charles had been free to make his own choices. An invitation was extended for dinner, and it was readily accepted.

After their guests had left, Darcy took his wife to their bedchamber to keep her company whilst she rested for the afternoon and Georgiana joined Philip in the nursery. She had taken an interest in seeing to the boy's education and so supported Mrs Hopkins when she could. Although, it must be said that Georgiana's presence was hardly conducive to a learning environment.

He took a hold of her hand as they ascended the stairs, he loved to do such little things for her and after her fall he could no longer countenance her taking the stairs unaided. Although her balance was still steady, he would rather be safe than sorry. And so she indulged his pampering.

When they reached the room that they had chosen as their bedchamber, they had not chosen the master or mistress' suites, he assisted her to the bed and picked up the book he had been reading to her. He settled on the bed and instinctively she drew to his side and laid her head on his chest. With his hand on her abdomen, he continued reading their novel.

* * *

Dinner was an interesting affair. Miss Bingley had gotten into her mind that it was wise to antagonise his wife, but the patience and grace that had been abundant during the morning calls had waned by dinner time.

As the gentlemen left the ladies after dinner, Darcy reminded his wife that it was not strictly proper for her to maim her guest after they had been fed. She made no promises as to the state that they would find Miss Bingley when the gentlemen returned. He would have forgone with convention, but he had to speak to his friend. Bingley had not sought his counsel at any stage of his relationship with Miss Victoria, so he was worried.

Once he handed his friend his glass of brandy, he began, "I was very surprised to hear of your engagement Charles. I was not even aware that you were courting."

"I can appreciate that my friend, it all happened fairly quickly," Charles responded with his usual jovial manner.

"Hmm. Where did you make Miss Victoria's acquaintance?"

"In Bath." They both enjoyed their drinks before Bingley elaborated. "After the incident in London. We were hard pressed to find many who would welcome all of us into their society. But Caroline had some acquaintance with Miss Hunter, and they were cordial."

"So why did you settle on Miss Victoria and not her elder sister?"

"Her father was set against the match. He said so from the start, he has high hopes for Miss Hunter." Though it was not unheard of, Darcy could not stand the idea that one sister was as good as any other.

"How old is Miss Victoria?" He asked concerned.

"Ten and seven. It was her first season. Her mother was unhappy to part with her, but once she heard I was willing to meet their conditions, it soothed her."

"What conditions?" Darcy fought to keep the exasperation out of his voice.

"Nothing serious. They wanted to ensure that I would be keeping with my plans to establish myself amongst the gentry and since I had yet to find an estate, they asked that it be one in South Yorkshire. So that Miss Victoria was not too far away from her family." Darcy reflected on this for some time and he had to concede that it was all reasonable. He would have asked the same thing if Georgiana had shown any interest in his friend.

"Why the rush to get married?"

"Well I must settle down, and Victoria is nice enough. Plus I want to see Caroline well situated and that is harder to do whilst I am unattached. The Hunters can be of some assistance and Victoria herself could help expand Caroline's acquaintance."

"That is a heavy burden to place on a young wife. Should not the office of supporting Caroline fall on Mrs Hurst?" Darcy asked concerned for his friend.

"The Hurst do not move in the circles that suit Caroline's interest. I know I should not indulge her," he added to Darcy's frown. "But short of setting her up in her own household, there is little I can do. We have discussed it, she is two and twenty, she can still have one more – maybe two – seasons before she has to marry or give up all hopes. So I have chosen to do the best I can for her." Darcy looked at his friend for a long time before he stood from his armchair.

"I hope your sister comes to appreciate you." Was all he could say as he indicated they should join the ladies. As they walked in silence to the drawing room he felt some guilt for his friend's current predicament, but he reminded himself that Bingley was his own man and Charles was the only one who could navigate the world he had chosen.

Miss Bingley was unarmed. When they entered the drawing room, she was sat at the piano playing a sweet duet with his sister. How Elizabeth had orchestrated such an event, he could only wonder. But he was happy to receive her smile of reassurance as he took his place beside her.

The wedding did take place, and after meeting Miss Victoria he could think of no earthly reason why it should not. She was not like Miss Bingley. In truth, he saw some similarities between her and Jane. They both had the same sweet disposition, although his sister was blessed with a little more beauty and grace. But all in all, he had no reason to fear for his friend's happiness – as long as Charles did not allow his sister to destroy his happiness. So he proudly stood up for his friend and endured the wedding breakfast as best as he could. The Hunters were as to be expected, they were not the worst, but neither of the Darcys left that morning with a desire to be fast friends. When all was said and done, all Darcy could do was look to his own happiness and he gladly did so.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Thank you all so much for your kind reviews, they are greatly appreciated. There are two chapters left in this story and I will endeavour to ensure that you are not kept in suspense. This is a heavily political chapter, but I think it appropriate, after all, politics is always discussed in a big social gathering.**

Chapter 28

Elizabeth looked up from the report she was reading to observe her husband's look of admiration. She smiled in response before returning her attention to her work. The slight movement of his chair caught her attention, so she looked up to observe him approaching her with a determined look in this eyes. She did not have to ask what he was about before he knelt beside her chair. "Fitzwilliam," she whispered as he laid his hand on the nape of her neck, they stared into each other's eyes before he pulled her lips down to his. This is the product of sharing a study with one's husband she thought, but she had no complaints. She released the arm of her chair, raised her fingers into his curls and drew him closer.

They had returned to Pemberley a week after Mr Bingley's wedding and had settled in seamlessly into their life at Pemberley. But they had made one change; she had moved into Fitzwilliam's study. They had shared one study at Nettleham and had thoroughly enjoyed each other's company. So when they returned, her table was temporarily moved into his study. It could not be a permanent change, but for now, it suited their needs.

When she felt his fingers tease its way from her neck to her collarbone and down to the edge of her dress, she knew she had to summon the strength to pull away. His hand had travelled lower before she found that strength. "I am expecting Mrs Reynolds any minute now," she whispered breathlessly against his lips. But despite her words, he still needed a gentle encouragement to cease from his explorations. He kissed her lips one more time before he stood from his position beside her. He took some deep breaths to steady himself before he walked away.

But he did not return to his desk, instead, he sat in the armchair directly opposite her and asked, "What do you make of the report?"

"I do not know what to make of it."She replied once she had pulled herself together. His smirk told her that he knew where her mind had taken her. She crossed and uncrossed her legs before replying, "truth be told I understood very little from what I have read. But I think the essence of the report is that you wish to invest some of Nettleham's income on the industries in South Yorkshire."

He nodded, "that is the crux of the matter."

"Well, I worry about such things." She admitted as she gathered up the papers. "How will it look for us to support that which we know the people are not in favour of? As you know, I have some sympathy for the Luddites, and we have a duty to the people of the Land." She paused for him to inject a reply, but he waited patiently. She took a deep breath before continuing, "but I imagine you are going to tell me that progress is not to be feared, and I would have to agree. So if the estimated returns can be trusted, I am happy for you to go ahead with the necessary preparations." She handed the papers over to his care, "thank you for giving them to me," she said as she held the hand that received them. He took her hand and kissed it, then he arose from the chair and returned to his desk.

She stood from her desk on the left side of the room and sat on the chaise in the middle of the room to await Mrs Reynolds. She was about to ring for some refreshments when her husband called out, "Elizabeth, why does Cromford believe we will be hosting them this Christmas?" She looked to the right and perceived his frown as he looked at the letter he held in his hand.

"Because we will be," she answered. He looked up and frowned at her, "we talked about this. We will be hosting the: Ledfords, Stanleys, Matlorks, Delaneys, Northwicks, your uncles and my aunt and uncle for the holiday season."

"Yes, I am aware that you mentioned a desire to host Christmas. But that was before the incident. Before we agreed that there will be no more social engagements until our child was born. I had expected that you would cancel the letters of invitation."

"Cancel Christmas? That is preposterous," she said jovially, but he was not amused. "Georgiana and I have discussed it, she will act as hostess whenever I am unable to do so, and since my situation is known to all, our guests will be understanding. In truth, I do this more for your aunt and uncles. They have not had a Christmas at Pemberley since before your mother passed away. It was their childhood home and they expressed a desire to spend Christmas at Pemberley." She said with mild chastisement, to mask the fact that in truth, it had taken the clever manipulation of Lady Northwick for her to even agree to host them.

"I have been remiss in some of my duties before you arrived." He reluctantly admitted after some time. "But in my defence, my father did not open Pemberley after my mother's death, and by the time I became its master such habits were already established."

She nodded her head, then asked. "Why does Cromford write to you?"

"Oh, he would like me to request that you extend an invitation to the Huxleys for the Christmas period. He has asked me to beg, in fact, so that he might continue in his courtship and establish a foundation before the season begins."

"Is it not customary to write to the lady of the house?" She asked a little peeved at the Viscounts request.

"Yes, but I believe my cousin is a little afraid of you," Fitzwilliam said with pride and she laughed in response.

"I would not care for the Huxleys company. But it would not do to appear unsupportive." She admitted and his smile turned into a look of concern. "You may tell your cousin that I will extend an invitation. But we will receive them after all of our family members have arrived." A knock on the door disrupted Fitzwilliam's reply and Mrs Reynolds entered in.

"You requested to see me, ma'am." Mrs Reynolds said as she entered the room and Elizabeth indicated for her to sit.

"Yes, I will like us to begin the preparations for the baby." She declared and that piqued Fitzwilliam's interest, he arose from his desk and drew near to them. "I know it is early to begin speaking of such things, but the season is almost upon us and I would rather have the necessities out of the way before the new year."

"Yes, ma'am."

"The room adjacent to my bedchamber can be used as the nursery; until the baby can be moved into the established nursery. I imagine by then Philip will be established in his own room. I do not care for a fuss to be made. But I imagine my sister has other ideas, so I will leave the decorations in her excellent hands, so you may consult with her. She has already begun making sketches." She said smiling.

"Will you be engaging a wet nurse, ma'am?" Mrs Reynolds asked tentatively.

"No." She replied boldly and ignored her husband's raised eyebrows. She had nursed Philip herself after she had been told what it would take for her milk to be stopped. To her mind, she had suffered enough during childbirth and so she chose the lesser of two evils.

"Very well ma'am." Mrs Reynolds said with approval.

"I would like whoever is to be chosen to be the nursemaid to be selected from either the servants or the estate." She declared. "Do you know of anyone suitable for the role?"

Mrs Reynolds hesitated before she replied, "Two ma'am. Ginevra and Caitlin. Ginevra has the most experience. But Caitlin can be taught, should you want her ma'am."

"Yes, I am aware that Caitlin sometimes helps Mrs Hopkins. But I am afraid I have had very little dealings with Ginevra, who is she?"

"The mulatto ma'am." Mrs Reynolds said with her eyes averted and Elizabeth frowned. She had never known Mrs Reynolds to demure. She looked to her husband, to see that he was also refusing to meet her eyes.

"Very well, I will meet with both girls and decide which of them best suit my needs. If you can call them both, I will decide now." When Mrs Reynolds left the room, she stood to join her husband. "Do you have any objections to my choosing Ginevra, if I find her to my liking?" She asked gently.

"If you find Ginevra to be the best person to assist you in caring for our child, why would I object?"

"I only asked because you seem…apprehensive." She replied. He took her hand and kissed it, but said nothing. "I have wondered, did Pemberley previously own slaves?"

"My grandfather did." He said as he stared out the window. "But they were freed by my father."

"Did they choose to remain at Pemberley after they had been freed?"

"No, some left. To my understanding, some of them left England and others moved to London."

"But Ginevra's family stayed?"

"Yes and no. Her mother was given…protection after she was attacked." He said very gently.

"Why did she need protection? What attacked her?"

He turned to her and he looked very uncomfortable, "Ginevra's father is not a negro man. When her family found out they wanted justice, but there was no precedence for them to receive it. So her family left. Knowing that she and her child would not be well received where her parents went, Ginevra's mother stayed."

The silence was interrupted by a knock on the door and Mrs Reynolds entered with both girls. Elizabeth informed them that she would see Ginevra first. When the room was emptied of all unnecessary persons, Fitzwilliam returned to his desk.

Elizabeth indicated for her to sit, there was a moment of silence as she looked at the girl before her. The first thing she noticed was how beautiful she was, she had large almond eyes that were framed by long lashes, her hair was fairer than her skin, but she was still beautiful. As Elizabeth stared at her, Ginevra did not demure; she had learnt to be strong and Elizabeth admired that. Fitzwilliam's gentle cough reminded her that it was not polite to stare, so she said, "thank you for seeing me, Ginevra. Mrs Reynolds tells me that you are quite experienced in looking after children. Tell me, where did you gain your experience?"

"I helped Mrs Lowell with the children from the village, ma'am. When she could afford it, I helped her in the school."

"What did you do with the children?"

"Look after them, help them learn their letters." She said with a hint of pride before she rushed to add, "Mrs Lowell was the teacher, ma'am, but I helped when she asked me to do so."

"That is quite acceptable," Elizabeth replied gently. "You can read and write?" She asked to clarify.

"Yes, ma'am. Mrs Reynolds taught me."

Elizabeth nodded and asked, "do you have much experience with babies?"

"Yes, ma'am. I used to help look after the babies left at the parish. Before Mrs Reynolds gave me work at Pemberley."

"Well I am satisfied with all you have told me," she said to conclude their meeting, please call Caitlin in for me.

The second interview was shorter than the first, Caitlin did not have Ginevra's experience. But she was eager to learn. In the end, there was no need for deliberation; Ginevra was better suited to the role and so Elizabeth defied convention and gave it to her.

Mrs Reynolds relief was so palpable that when she left the room, Elizabeth asked her husband, "What is Mrs Reynolds interest in Ginevra?"

"I would imagine it is the same interest she has in all of our servants." He tried and failed to be nonchalant.

"And yet she teaches her to read and write. That is a courtesy I am sure she does not extend to everyone."

"To my knowledge, it was a courtesy she extended to all of her children." He declared and she frowned. He stood from his chair and sat beside her before continuing. "Ginevra's mother named Mr Reynolds as the perpetrator of her attack."

"Oh"

"There were no witnesses."

"Aside from Ginevra's mother, you mean." She interrupted.

"Yes well of the two, Ginevra's mother was considered to be the less reliable witness."

"So Mrs Reynolds supports her out of…remorse?"

"And love, I think. When Ginevra's mother died she took Ginevra in and raised her with her children, despite what was said, and people always have a lot to say on matters that do not concern them." He sighed. "But the gossips have stopped and the servants should be discouraged from any new speculation." He said ominously

"Are you pleased with my choice?" She asked when he stood up.

"It is the choice I would have made." He said with a smile before he returned to his desk, and she returned to the other issues that required her attention.

* * *

Elizabeth gasped and shot upright; she steadied herself on her hands and tried to breathe through the pain. As her heartbeat slow down, she registered that the pain was radiating from her back, she had no reason to worry. But she still laid one hand on her stomach as she continued to take slow and deep breaths. She turned to ensure that her actions had not disturbed her husband and was relieved to hear his steady and deep breaths. When the pain reduced in its intensity, she returned to her side. But that increased her discomfort so she laid on her back. When the pain began to retreat, she sighed and wondered how she could have forgotten this aspect of childbearing.

When the pain was finally gone, she waited to return to sleep. But her earlier comforts could not be achieved so she waited in vain. The sun did not rise to mock her. When the light of the day came through the windows, it was dull and grey and she thought it only fitting. She felt her husband turn and stretch as he awoke from his sleep and it only added to her frustration. She gave him no encouragements as he turned and kissed her cheek as he had always done.

"Elizabeth?" He whispered. "Are you awake?"

"Hmm."

"What is the matter?" He asked sensing her discomfort.

"I hardly slept." She admitted as she turned towards him. "And I have no desire to arise for the day."

"Why could you not sleep?" He asked innocently. But she frowned at his ignorance.

"Well, it appears sleep is now a luxury which I am to be deprived of intermittently." She said irritated before she turned to lay on her back. He gently encouraged her to turn towards him before he wrapped her in his comforting arms. He stayed with her for as long as he could, and his presence was a comfort. But eventually they arose from their bed to see to their toilet; she returned to their bed and he left to see to the duties of the day.

But it was not long before she heard the door open. She turned to see who dared to disturb her peace and received her husband as he carried a large tray in his hands. She lifted herself to sit on the bed and rewarded him with a large smile.

"What do we have here?" She asked as she appreciated the selection of foods that he had provided. "Have you broken your fast?" She asked him as he joined her on the bed.

"No, I wanted to share it with my beautiful wife who is labouring for the sake of our child."

"I love you." She said and kissed his lips, before giving herself over to the temptations before her.

When they had devoured what they could of the food, they called for Lucy to collect the tray and then asked for any letters or other items of business. Their room was to be their study for the day. After looking through his letters of business. He informed her that he had received a curious correspondence. She had returned to her position on her side and her mind was beginning to rest and her body settling when he said, "I have received a reply from Mr Franklyn." It took a second for her to remember who he was referring to before she reluctantly pulled herself up to sit.

"What does it say?" She asked, but he handed the letter to her instead of replying. She took a deep breath before she dove in. The letter contained sincere sentiments of repentance and a longing to be received by his remaining family. And they truly were all that he had left. So when she was done with it, she turned to her husband and asked, "What do you want to do?"

He paused, gathered her hand in his, then said, "I believe he is sincere in his desire for forgiveness and a reconciliation. So it is my belief that he should be welcomed, however cautiously we are able to welcome him."

She turned his hand and raised it to her lips before she responded, "then that is what we will do. I will write and invite him to visit after the holidays." She wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled into his side and shut her eyes. That was the last thing she remembered before she woke up in an empty bed much later in the afternoon.

* * *

The first of Pemberley's many guests arrived on the tenth of December, and they were received by their hostess with such warmth that no one could mistake her affection for them. Elizabeth's excitement on receiving the news that her aunt and uncle's carriage had been cited was so great, that Fitzwilliam had to remind that it was too cold to await the carriage outside.

But as soon as their entrance was announced, she all but flew into her aunt's awaiting arms. She had no notion of how long they held each other in an embrace. But by the time they were ready to release one and other, the rest of their party had greeted one another and her cousins were exchanging loud conversations with her son.

"Oh, aunt! How I have missed you!" She declared unnecessarily. Her welcome to her uncle was a tad more dignified, "and you too uncle." she rushed to say as she kissed his cheek.

"And you have been greatly missed, my dear." Her uncle said as he laid his palm on her cheek. "Your father would not let me leave his side without the assurance that I would convey just how much you have been missed."

"Oh, dear papa! How is he? He is still an infrequent correspondent," she complained. "But then again it would not do for him to change so much that he would be unrecognisable to those that love him."

"Well said," her uncle replied. "He is well and gets on quite nicely and so does everyone at Longbourn. Lydia is improving; she will never have your thirst for knowledge or Jane's gentle nature, but she is maturing. Your father is firm with her, and Mrs Plat is not intimidated by Lydia or your mother, so all is well."

"I am glad to hear that," she said returning to her husband's side. "I am surprised they are still in Hertfordshire, mama informed me that they would be spending the festive season in Kent with Mary, in lieu of coming to Pemberley."

"Yes, they will be. But for your sister sake, your father has decided that they will leave Longbourn on the 15th, and he has held firm to that discussion."

Refreshments were called for, and after Philip had been showered with love and praise and the Darcys' had done likewise to the two youngest Gardiner children, they were collected by their respective nurses and sent to the nursery. The men went to one side of the room to discuss their joint ventures, and the ladies and the two older Gardiner children spoke together. Lucy and Rose were sweet young girls, aged twelve and ten respectively, and if they behaved appropriately they were allowed to remain with their mother – provided it was a relaxed social environment.

Eventually, Elizabeth released her guests so that they might rest after their long journey, whilst she and Georgiana returned to the small items they were making for the tenants and servant's Christmas boxes. As she set aside the small items of clothing that would be going to the Parsonage, she thought how nice it would be if the Gardiners were the only guests they were to receive for the holidays.

* * *

But they were not the only guests Pemberley had opened its doors to. They came in such quick succession that by the end of it all, Elizabeth felt irritated and overwhelmed. The Northwicks were the first to arrive, the duke and duchess came with their youngest daughter, Lady Constance. Their eldest son had elected to stay in Northwick with his wife. "So that she can finally stand as hostess for the holidays." Lord Northwick said teasing his wife. Right on their heels came Lord Daley, the judge, or uncle Anthony as he insisted on being called. Fitzwilliam had told her that despite his jovial nature, uncle Anthony had lost all his family except his younger son, who was fighting in the war.

As their guests settled to receive refreshments, Elizabeth was surprised to see that despite their age, uncle Anthony and aunt Margret acted very much like the Colonel and Lottie.

When the teasing between the siblings stopped, Lady Northwick said, "so, Darcy when do you intend to bring Georgiana out?" She asked as soon as she could make her intentions known.

Her husband looked up with a very pronounced frown. "We have yet to discuss the issue; it is not yet time for us to worry about such things." Her husband answered tightly.

"Nonsense, she is ten and seven. The same age Constance was when she was out."

"Yes well, what suited Constance may not suit everyone."

"Oh Darcy, you must not be slow in such things. It is of vital important." She said turning her attention to Elizabeth, "I had hoped that after you had married, your wife would help things along. But all things considered, it appears that there must be a small delay." It appeared as though she was about to let the matter rest, but then she said, "despite Mrs Darcy's current situation, it might be best for Georgiana to be entered into society this coming year. She certainly does not lack in suitable sponsors. And I have heard Lord Cumbridge is returning from the West Indies, and as you know his father is a Fitzroy. It would be a splendid match for Georgiana."

"Thank you for your advice aunt. But I think we will abide by our original plans," Fitzwilliam said calmly.

"Elizabeth, could you not speak to your husband? The lady asked looking at her, and Elizabeth could feel her husband's discontent. "You were out in society much earlier than ten and seven and look how it benefited you."

With a smile, she responded, "yes, I was very fortunate in my situation in life. But I do believe I will be abiding by my husband's wishes."

"All things considered," Georgiana said speaking up, "I would not care to marry a man whose only claim to notoriety is that he is the son of a bastard. Even a King's bastard."

There was a moment of silence and disbelief, before Lord Northwick said, "Here! Here! Well said my dear and as it should be. Maggie stop pressing the issue." Elizabeth turned to see how the lady accepted the reprimand from both individuals and was surprised to see the small smile that graced her lips. Her love for the two individuals reprimanding her was very evident.

"Very well, I will let it be. But I will say this, whilst the men of this family may marry to suit their interest, it is the duty of the women of this family to promote the family's interest. We do not have the luxuries our men are blessed with."

"Oh, Maggie you married for love!" Uncle Anthony exclaimed. "How you could love such a dull gentleman is beyond me." He continued, raising his cup to His Grace. "But I will not have you spinning tales of woe and sacrifice."

"That is beside the point!" She said defensively. "I was the daughter of an untitled gentleman, and now I am a duchess. I did my duty."

"Yes, I was hoodwinked!" Her husband declared jovially to the room and they all laughed. He turned to share a look with his wife, and though it was not outwardly expressive, Elizabeth still averted her eyes.

* * *

The day after the Northwick's arrival, the weather had settled and so Elizabeth suggested the party went on sleigh rides around the lake. The snow had been heavy, though not unusually heavy. It had cast a soft white blanket over all of Pemberley, and it was beautiful to behold. Despite the abundance of snow, the weather was warmer than expected and so Fitzwilliam was willing to acquiesce to her suggested activity.

Appropriately dressed, the children and Mrs Hopkin rode in one sleigh and the adults, except Lord Northwick who had elected to spend his day enjoying the delights of the library, went in another carriage.

It was a wonderful time, and despite the blanket of snow that covered the landscape, aunt Margret and uncle Anthony knew all around them. They shared many childhood memories of mischief and mayhem, many of them led by aunt Margret. "Of course that was all before my brothers left for school and I was placed under the care of my governess." She said sadly after narrating a particularly dangerous escapade involving a stubborn goat. "I cried the whole day when George left for Eton." She continued taking her niece by the hand. "I always had George…"

"I remember that day," her brother interrupted. "I tried to comfort you and you threw something at me." He declared in mock horror.

"Well, you always had an odd notion of what comfort is. In any case, I just wanted George." She sighed. "I think that is why it was so difficult after your mother died." She informed her niece. "He was no longer George. Even Fitzwilliam stopped being the sweet boy I remembered and I was not enough, I could not be. But I could have been there for you, my dear. I should have been there for you." Georgiana adjusted herself so that she could put her arm around her aunt, and the rest of them looked anywhere and everywhere to give them some privacy.

Their solemn moment was interrupted by the laughter coming from the children's sleigh, and Elizabeth turned to see the joy in all of their faces. In that moment she could not repine her decision to host Christmas, her cup was very full.

* * *

The rest of their guests came, and their days were never dull. Pemberley was filled with laughter, light and so many variations of love that it could warm the coldest heart. Georgiana showed her mettle; whenever Elizabeth was not able to be the hostess she gladly and effortlessly stepped in. But their guests did not ask for too much. Everyone was content to appreciate the person next to them, and bonds of friendship were formed that would last a lifetime.

For Elizabeth, the greatest gift their guest could give was given by Lord and Lady Delaney. They were the last guests to arrive and whilst it was a joy to receive Mabel and her husband. It was an even greater joy to watch her husband hold their son in his arms. It was a moment that brought her to silent tears, as she considered that in a few short months, that would be their baby he held in his arms.

But the 23rd of December brought Pemberley's unwanted guests. It had been speculated as to whether or not Lady Catherine would arrive for the festive season. In fact, some of the men had taken to betting on the issue. She had been invited, as a way of sending an olive branch. But after Fitzwilliam had told her that they should not be expected at Rosings for Easter, due to Elizabeth's confinement. She had been unable to reply in a civil manner and so once again she was barred from Pemberley.

Fortunately for everyone's peace of mind, the Huxleys were the only unwanted guests and only the Viscount greeted them with sincerity. Elizabeth had hoped that time had exaggerated her impressions of Lady Agatha, but it had not. The young lady had nothing of substance to contribute to any conversation, but she did not shy away from changing any topic of conversation that did not suit her. Her biggest complaint was about the diversity in social standing to be found at the Darcys' dinner table. Her sensibilities were offended, so she had no problem disregarding common decency in expressing her dislike for the company Mrs Darcy kept. After enjoying days amongst jovial company, it peeved Elizabeth that her first Christmas at Pemberley was to be overshadowed by a slip of a girl.

But everyone – except the Viscount of Cromford – did their best to ignore her and enjoy the festive season. But the day after Christmas, Elizabeth had finally had enough. Christmas Day itself was glorious, everything was well done and only Lady Agatha found reasons to frown. But the turkey was well done, the pudding delicious, and the yule log had been successfully brought into the fireplace in the large drawing room. The Colonel, with the children's help, had hung mistletoes and rosemary all over Pemberley, and Elizabeth watched intrigued as Kitty blushed to the tip of her toes when she and the Colonel stood underneath a kissing bough.

Due to the multitude of political men at Pemberley for the festive season, Pemberley had hosted many interesting discussions, many of which Elizabeth had had her say in - to the surprise of those who did not know her. On the day after Christmas, after a lovely dinner. Elizabeth and Jane were discussing the strange habits of some of the diplomatic guests that Jane had recently entertained when the men finally joined the women. Once Robert sat by them, Elizabeth turned to him and said. "I hear Stanley, that you have hosted the Portuguese diplomats."

"Ah, yes we had the privilege to do so." He replied with a smile to his wife.

"What was the purpose of their visit?" She asked brazenly.

"They are our natural allies, Elizabeth." The Colonel supplied. "I am sure they discussed nothing but the business of war."

She smiled and said, "I am aware of this Colonel. But I gather they had a specific reason to visit whilst Parliament his out of season."

"Yes, well there were many things to be discussed." Her brother said, but sensing she would not be satisfied with such a vague reply, he elaborated, "They came specifically to discuss the West Africa Squadron."

"The slave ship?" Georgiana asked and Elizabeth turned to see that their conversation had caught the attention of others in their party.

"No, my dear." The Colonel replied. "The ship was commissioned to suppress the Atlantic slave trade.

"Yes, and it now symbolises the biggest hypocrisy of the British government." Elizabeth declared and the room became silent.

"Do you disagree with their mission, Mrs Darcy?" Her brother asked surprised.

"No, I think it right, moral and just." She declared and they waited for her to continue. "But I believe it was Lord Mansfield that said, "the state of slavery is such a nature that it is incapable of being introduced on any reasons, moral or political." A fine sentiment, and yet we sanction slavery throughout the British Empire. It would seem such sentiments are only sound as long as the actions they condemn are not perpetrated in our midst. So I say it is hypocritical of us to profit from the slave trade, whilst preventing our closest allies from doing likewise." The silence that followed her speech was empowering. She looked about to see varying degrees of shock and awe. But none were sweeter than the look of unadulterated admiration on her husband's face.

"I see Darcy, you let your wife read your papers." The Colonel quipped breaking the silence.

"Let me, Colonel?" She asked her eyebrows raised with a small smile at the edge of her lips.

"I stand corrected." He demurred and bowed.

"What you must understand Elizabeth, is that the work done in the West Indies is vital to the British economy." Lord Matlock injected patiently.

"So what is right and moral can be rejected for the sake of economic gains?" She asked meeting his gaze.

"I hardly think this is a proper conversation to have." Lady Agatha declared. "And it is certainly not suitable for a young lady's ears; if she is to have any hope of not being labelled a bluestocking."

Elizabeth turned her attention to her guest and after a hard stare she replied, "I thank you, Lady Agatha, for informing me of what is proper to discuss in my drawing room."

"I am confused, papa," Lottie said turning to her father and completely ignoring Lady Agatha. "What exactly do the West Africa Squadron do?"

"They patrol the coast of West Africa and capture any slave ship they encounter and free the slaves. It is very noble work."

"Well then, Elizabeth is right. It is hypocritical for us to deter slavery, as well as benefit from it. What would happen if more hands are needed in the West Indies, would we sanction slavery then to uphold our economy?" These were very serious questions, too serious for his Lordship or the other men present to consider and answer.

So the deafening silence returned, but only for a moment, before Fitzwilliam asked, "What news of the King?"

It took a second for Robert to realise the question was aimed at him before he replied, "He is to be declared mad by parliament in its next session."

"Are we to have a Regent?" Lady Delaney asked.

"Yes."

"Lord help us all!" Elizabeth gasped. "and the Prince will be the Regent?"

"Yes."

"But we are at war!" Lady Delaney exclaimed. "The Prince can hardly be called upon to lead a country at war, he spends more on horses than it takes to feed a whole infantry of soldiers."

"Is there no other choice?" Elizabeth asked. "Could parliament not step in?"

"That would constitute as treason, ma'am."

"Well then, God Save the King." Her husband said. Glasses were called for and they all drank to the King's health one last time.

* * *

Darcy could feel her fingers tracing his face. He tried not to smile as one finger ran the length of his nose. But she knew he was awake. She continued in her path and began to trace the outline of his lips, it was a struggle not to open his eyes and gather her into his arms. But when she lightly pinched his upper lip, he opened his eyes to receive her smile. She drew closer to him and he bent his head to receive her kiss. "I see you slept well." He said against her lips.

"Yes, I did. I am sorry to disturb your rest, but you looked so peaceful, I could not help myself." He drew her closer and returned his attention to her lips. But she pulled away before things could escalate any further. "Have I done well by you Fitzwilliam?" She asked very seriously. "I know you would have preferred if we were not surrounded by so many guests."

He gathered her hands in his, "perhaps not so many guests. But I have enjoyed it. It reminds me of how Christmas was before my mother died. Truth be told, I had not realised how much I had missed it. But perhaps next time we can limit our guests to just family."

"Hmm, Lady Agatha." She sighed heavily. "Well, if Cromford has his way she might well be family soon enough, and then there will be no avoiding her." She said as she ran her finger along his collarbone.

"I thought you handled her quite well." He said as he kissed the edge of her lips.

"Yes well, I would rather not handle her at all." She admitted and he lifted his head and frowned. It would not do to have his wife distressed by a guest in their home. But before he could enquire further about her feelings on the issue, she had returned her lips to his.

* * *

Darcy had stolen away from his guests for a quiet time in his study, the other men were discussing the implications of the Prince as Regent and the women were with Elizabeth admiring the children. But when he heard a knock on his door, he put down his book to receive his cousin. "Darcy I wish to speak with you, if I may?" Cromford asked and took the seat he was offered. "Lord Huxley informed me of your conversation with him." He began tentatively, but Darcy would not have it. "I need not tell you he was not happy with the subject of discussion."

"Neither was I," Darcy interrupted.

"I understand that Lady Agatha can be trying. But she is a guest here."

"Yes she is trying and she is also a guest. A guest who was invited because my wife wanted to support you. A guest who has insulted other guests in my house, and a guest who last night insulted my wife, her hostess, in her own home." He concluded sternly.

Cromford's discomfort was clear, but he soldiered on. "You must own that Mrs Darcy's topic of conversation was not suitable."

"I own no such thing. What I do know is that it is the established custom for the hostess to determine the topic of conversation in her own drawing room."

"I appreciate yours and Mrs Darycy's support, but Lord Huxley did not take too kindly to being told to take charge of his daughter."

"And I do not take too kindly to his daughter insulting my wife and the other guests in my house."

"Very well," Cromford relented. "I will speak to Lady Agatha."

"Are you certain of your choice, Cromford?"

"I am certain that it is my choice to make." He replied folding his arms as he met his cousin's look of concern.

"Very well then, I wish you all the best with your choice."

"I am not a fool Darcy. I know it is perhaps not ideal, but Lady Agatha has the connections I desire. As my sister and your wife rightly pointed out, we are entering a strange political era. They are not the only ones to question the Prince's mettle as head of this nation. The country needs leadership and if the King cannot provide it, people will look to parliament to do so. I have great plans for this country, I intend to make my mark and we both know a man with the right skills but the wrong connections, is as useful in politics as a chambermaid."

"Hmm."

"To that end, I need your help. Mama is being ridiculous in her stubborn stance. She must be made to see sense. The choice is mine and Lady Agatha is my choice. Will you speak to her on my behalf? I do not expect her to embrace Lady Agatha, but her disdain is not well hidden."

Darcy waited some time, before he replied, "I will see what I can do. But you must speak to Lady Agatha." When Cromford nodded that he would do so, they both stood up and left the study.

"…Who I marry is my choice, mama." Darcy heard Lottie say as he stood outside his wife's study.

"Actually it is your father's choice." His aunt said in reply as he knocked on the door. When his wife invited him in, he smiled at the ladies present in the room. His sister, Kitty, Constance, Lady Agatha and her mother were the only lady's not present in the room, they were in the music room being entertained by Georgiana.

"I am of age and therefore it is my choice. I will, of course, be seeking my father's approval, but it is ultimately my choice." Charlotte said, finishing the conversation her mother had started.

"Lord Keighley is a good choice." Aunt Margret interceded.

"That is yet to be seen." His cousin replied stubbornly.

"How long will you make the poor man wait, Lottie," Mabel said with humour. Lottie frowned at her sister but made no reply.

"What can we do for you, Darcy?" Aunt Helen asked. His entrance had been ignored, so he had gone to stand behind his wife to admire her and the baby she held in her hand.

"I have come in hopes that the ladies are better company than the men."

"Always," Mabel said with a smile.

"Fitzwilliam, I would have thought that you would have sought sanctuary in your study. Since the men have congregated in the library," his wife said with a coy smile. She could see right through him.

"Yes well, I was enjoying the peace in my study, but now I have been sent on an errand of mercy." He replied as he sat down.

"And what have you done that you should require mercy?" Aunt Margret asked.

"It is not what I have done." He turned to aunt Helen and asked, "Cromford would like your support, he has sent me to see if there is anything that could induce you to give it?"

"No there is not."

"Mama," Mabel said softly as she reached for her mother's hand.

"For once I would like to be given due consideration." His aunt continued as she collected her daughter's hand.

"Why do you believe Cromford's choice deprives you of that?" He asked patiently.

"Lord Marlock is a great man and an even greater politician. It is only right that his son is just as good a politician, if not better. In choosing to expand his political connections Gerald honours his father. But in choosing Lady Agatha he dishonours me."

"Aunt." He interrupted, his voice laced with comfort and her daughter drew closer to her mother.

"He dishonours me because Lady Agatha will not care for my legacy. In choosing Lady Agatha Gerald gains more than just her connections. He gains a wife. A wife who has a responsibility to the people she has influence over. Can he tell me that Lady Agatha will take that responsibility seriously?"

"She can be taught to do so."

She sighed then said, "no, _she_ cannot. So I cannot support his choice, knowing that his choice destroys my legacy."

Darcy could say no more. He stayed with the ladies for a little while longer. When he left, he went to tell Cromford of his mother's concerns. He was sad to see it had no effect on his cousin. He considered it a necessary sacrifice and that there were other ways to honour his mother's legacy.

"Climb to the top if you must, my friend. But you might find it to be a rather lonely place." He said as he shook his cousin's hand and they went their separate ways.

The beginning of January marked the end of the festive season, and as Darcy stood with his wife to bid their guest goodbye, he could not help the hug he gave to his aunt Helen. The women in his family truly did not have the luxuries the men were blessed with.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Thank you for your patience, I had not expected this chapter to take so long, so I am grateful for your patience and encouragements. I had expected this story to finish with 30 chapters, but this chapter would have been too long so I have split it into two. I had some ideas for a sequel for those who are interested but that will not be until late next year if I decide to go ahead with it. For The Reader, I had always felt that Jane would have made anyone a wonderful wife, and I thought if she had closely experienced other marriage other than her parents' marriage she would have been less forgiving of Mr Bingley's inconsistency and from the start she could see Caroline's duplicity and so she did not fully give her heart to Bingley because she did not want to be in that family dynamics. I have always felt that given time Mr Bingley would have gotten over Jane.**

Chapter 29

Elizabeth's hands stopped mid-stitch; her solitude was being disturbed by the incessant barking coming from somewhere outside her study. She looked up from the small garment she was sewing to share a look of mild irritation with her companion. She had shut the door of her study, but that had brought no relief, and her patience had reached its limit.

She sighed as the barking resumed, "it seems his grace has gotten out of Philip's room," she said as she stroked the cheeks of her companion. She chuckled at the distinct look of disapproval that spread over the small furry features of her companion's face. Duke and Duchess were Christmas presents that she and Philip had received from Fitzwilliam. She had been given a King Charles Spaniel and he was given a Setter.

The puppies had been a wonderful surprise and she could not help but marvel at how he had managed to keep such a gift from her. She had named her puppy Duchess - because her elegance and grace could not be denied. And she had encouraged Philip to name his pup Duke. But contrary to his name, Duke had neither grace nor a regal nature. He was young and he possessed a youthful exuberance that could entertain a child - whilst infuriating the adults.

When Fitzwilliam had presented Philip with a puppy she had expressed her fears that he was still too young for a gun dog and it soon became clear that Philip could not understand the delicate balance between a pet and a trained dog. But Fitzwilliam had insisted that their son was not too young to develop a bond with his puppy – a bond that would serve Philip well when he began to hunt. Unwilling to deprive her son of that which clearly brought him joy, she had relented. However, it soon became clear to them all that the liberties Philip allowed his dog would make the puppy a poor student when the time came.

"I wonder what they are up to?" She asked Duchess who merely whined in response before laying her head on the cushion beside Elizabeth.

Unable to return to her delicate stitching, she made an awkward attempt at standing up. But without help, her efforts were accompanied by some very unattractive noise. "I suggest you withhold judgement of my lack of grace until you are in a similar situation." She said to her companion who had turned up her nose at her as if to question her lack of grace.

Ignoring her pup's look of disapproval, Elizabeth heaved herself onto her feet. Once she settled her added weight onto her aching feet, she placed her hand on her protruding abdomen. A smile spread across her face as she considered the reward that awaited her. In the end, it would be forgotten – the unattractive noises that accompanied her every movement, the pain and discomfort. All of it would have been of no consequence.

As she waddled towards the door she considered the fact that, by their calculations, she had a month or two left before she would meet her baby and that cause her to overflow with excitement.

"Are you coming?" She asked Duchess when she reached the door. But the pup merely settled deeper into her cushion. "Very well, suit yourself," she replied with affection before closing the door behind her.

She turned to see Henry standing on guard like he always did when she went to any part of the house – except the corridor leading to her bedchamber. Fitzwilliam had decreed that she was not to take the stairs unless she had some assistance. And to show he was perfectly serious in his request, he had assigned Henry the task of standing on guard whenever he was unavailable to offer his assistance. It was officious, but she understood his fears and the truth was she could no longer trust her footing – as she could no longer see her feet. So she graciously accepted the support.

"Do you know where the noise is coming from?" She asked as they stood in the corridor.

"I believe it is coming from the orange room ma'am." She frowned as she made her way towards the disturbance. Philip knew he was not to play with the puppy outside the nursery. That had been the first rule they had implemented to minimise the noise. It was too cold to confine their playing to the gardens, so Philip and his pup had been confined to the third floor in the hopes that the rest of the household would remain undisturbed.

"Yes, Papa." She heard Philip's sweet voice as she drew closer to the door of the orange room.

"You must be gentle when you lead, it would not do to hurt Duke." Fitzwilliam gently encouraged. She waited with her hand on the door; she had not expected Fitzwilliam to be in the room with the disruptive pup. The puppy barked once more before she slowly opened the door.

When she looked into the room, she was shocked by what she saw. She first noticed the total disarray of the furnishings in the room. The chairs, table and ornaments had been pushed to one side and the beautiful carpet had been folded up and laid against the wall. Too shocked to speak, she turned to observed Fitzwilliam kneeling before their son as he gently encouraged him and that melted her ire.

"What is this?" She asked with amusement as she made her way into the room.

"We are training." Philip declared proudly as he presented the leash he held – pulling on it slightly.

"Gently, Philip." Fitzwilliam encouraged. "I hope we have not disturbed you?" He asked. "We came as far from your bedchamber as we could without going outside or attracting Mrs Reynolds disapproval."

"I was not in my room." She replied and his brow rose with concern, "I was too uncomfortable to rest. But there is no reason to worry, all is as it should be." She said reassuringly. "I thought Mr Miller would be training Duke?" She asked as she stepped further into the room to assess the disruption created by their unnecessary rearrangements. The orange room was the sitting room dedicated for the mistress' private use; she had yet to make use of it and she was a little unhappy to see that they had turned it on its head.

"Mr Miller will train Duke to hunt, but I think Philip can teach Duke the little things that will ensure a bond grows between them." He replied standing up to take his place by her side.

"Could this not be done outside?" She said with a hint of disapproval.

"It is too cold outside," he reminded her, "and Philip expressed an interest in training his pup, so I indulged him." She had to smile at that – their roles were reverse. She was usually the one who erred towards overindulgence.

"Well then, show me what you have learnt." She said to her son and his pup. It did not escape her notice that they had both waited patiently and silently whilst the adults spoke. Philip walked his pup to the end of the room free of all its furnishing, and with great attention to each step, he walked towards them. Mindful that he was to behave, Duke followed Philip's gentle pace. It was impressive, all things considered. "Well done my love." She said as she tousled his hair.

"I am sorry we disturbed you," Fitzwilliam said as he stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her. Without conscious thought, one of his hands made its way from her shoulders to her abdomen. It was always a comfort to feel his hands on her abdomen, and she had some suspicion that their child was calmed by his presence. The baby was certainly less prone to moving in a manner that would cause her pain whenever Fitzwilliam was around. As she settled into his embrace, they watched as one child kissed his pup whilst feeling the other child move within her. It was bliss.

"It is of no consequence." She finally replied; forgetting her desire for peace and quiet in her house. "But I do believe Duke is now irredeemable in Duchess' eyes." She quipped.

"What a shame." He said as he laid his head on her shoulder, "I find Duke has quite grown on me."

"I think it is because of the similarities in his and Philip's temperament." She observed as they continued to watch their son and his puppy as their play became more animated.

"You should not be on your feet for too long," he said the moment he heard her sigh. He turned to the furnishings only to remember that they were not suitably arranged for use. "Philip I do believe today's lesson is at an end."

"Oh, papa." Philip pouted his lips unable to hide his disappointment.

"Now, now, none of that. I am sure it is time for your lessons with Mrs Hopkins and we would not want to keep her waiting."

"No pouting my love, it is unbecoming of a gentleman." She inserted as she collected his hand whilst Fitzwilliam collected the equally reluctant puppy.

Together they left the room. When they met Henry outside – where he had once again waited patiently – Fitzwilliam handed the dog over to his care. He collected Philip's other hand and together they made their way to the nursery.

* * *

As the rays of the afternoon sunshine shone on her face, Elizabeth could not control her frustration. Her night had been uncomfortable and her sleep had been poor, so she could not help her unbridled hatred for the sun as it disturbed her just when she became comfortable – a rarity in her condition. Since she could not turn from the sunlight without feeling the added weight of her child, she just laid there – cursing the sun and her ineffectual curtains.

When it appeared that Morpheus had deserted her, she struggled to her feet and called for Lucy. Appropriately dressed, she went in search of her husband who would be sympathetic to her hatred of the sun. She had not taken many steps before she heard Georgiana's melodious voice coming from the nursery where she had been working these many months. She had initially planned for the nursery to be finished before the festive season, but that plan was rejected for the sake of Georgiana's artistic sensibilities. Her sister had usurped her authority where the nursery was concerned, and because it brought her so much joy to be of use, Elizabeth allowed her. But she was beginning to see the end of her patience.

Whilst the rest of Pemberley could calmly welcome the beginning of February, she could not. February signalled the beginning of her confinement, and though she was anticipating the end result, February also brought the motherly instinct within her that desired everything to be perfect for her child's arrival. For this reason, she remained in a state of perpetual anxiety. For despite Pemberley's competent servants, she felt as though things could not be perfectly done unless they were done by her hands. But since she could not oversee everything, nor would she disgrace herself by attempting to do the maid's work, she could see no end to her anxiety.

So although she appreciated all that Georgiana wished to do for her sake, and her new niece or nephew, she was starting to hold her sanity with a higher regard than Georgiana's artistic vision. To add insult to injury, Georgiana had requested that she stay away. Her sister wanted the nursery to be a surprise until it was finished. In the beginning, it had been a wonderful notion. But now it was a festering sore that was aggravated each time she walked past the nursery's locked door.

Drawn by her sister's sweet voice, Elizabeth found herself standing before that very door. She laid her head against it as she listened. Of their own accord, her hands went to the door handle and she squeezed tightly. As she fought against the urge to turn the handle, she thought of the sweet girl with the sweet voice who had laboured for all their sake.

As she listened to her sister harmonise her son's favourite lullaby, she found the strength to let go. She walked away and continued on her way in search of her husband. She found Henry at the end of the corridor and together they made their way to Fitzwilliam's study.

She opened the door to find him deep within the book he was reading and when she coughed to announce her presence, he jumped. On seeing that it was his wife that disturbed his solitude, he rushed to put his hand and the book he was reading under the table.

"What was that?" She asked with humour. She had never seen her husband looked so guilty - her interest was piqued.

"Nothing," He stated too quickly, as she walked further into the room. The closer she got to his desk the further his hands retreated under his desk. It was out of character for him to dissemble that she gained some pleasure in watching his fruitless efforts to appear undisturbed.

She rested against his desk and folded her arms, "what is in your arms Fitzwilliam?" She asked with a coy smile.

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with my dear." He tried again to appear undisturbed, but she merely raised her brow and waited.

When she felt his resolve weakening, she leaned over and placed her lips on his sensitive ears, she whispered, "I can make you show what is in your hands without using any force at all." She nibbled his earlobe before her lips made their way slowly to his. As her lips found their destination, her hand began an indirect journey of its own.

She laughed against his lips as her hand felt the book in his. "It is no laughing matter, Mrs Darcy." He said in response as a blush spread across his face.

She collected the book from him and manoeuvred her way onto his lap. "I thought you hated novels, Mr Darcy."

"I have never expressed that notion Mrs Darcy."

"Really?" She placed the book on his desk and her fingers playfully stroked his face. "I do believe I had to persuade you to read this novel to me and now I find you reading ahead of me." He caught her hand and kissed her palm.

"I found the novel had more merit than I had initially given it."

"A shocking admission, Miss Burney would be honoured. But it is still no excuse for reading ahead. Is this what you do when I fall asleep?"

"Not always." He said as he lightly kissed her cheeks, "I apologise profusely."

"How far ahead are you?" Guilt spread again across his face, but he did not reply. She laughed, "that far." She said as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her to silence her laughter.

When he had finished distracting her from his transgressions, she turned and looked at the title of the novel. "It is a beautiful name for a girl," she observed.

"Hmm," He said thoughtfully. "And what if it is a boy?"

"William, or Thomas, or Edward. I have many ideas for a boy. But until now I had none for a girl. Naturally, I had always wanted to name her after Jane. But after everything, I find I have too many sisters to honour."

"Then this name serves the purpose of being unique."

"My thoughts exactly."

"I had wanted Elizabeth for a girl and William for a boy." He informed her.

She laughed, "it would be rather confusing since I am Elizabeth to you, what would you call her."

"Beth or Bessie."

"Andrew always called me Beth." She said absentmindedly.

"Well, we can decide later when the child is born." He said after a moment of silence. She laid her head on his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around her.

After a moment of comfort in each other's arms, she encouraged him to join her on the chaise so they might continue the novel where she last remembered. They had spent some time in each other's embrace before a knock disturbed Fitzwilliam's reading. Elizabeth had to detangle herself from her husband's embrace, she ensured she was presentable before she welcomed the interloper into their midst.

"I am sorry to disturb you, ma'am, but Miss Darcy sent me to tell you that it is finished." Mrs Reynolds said with great delight.

There was a pregnant pause before Elizabeth exclaimed with delight, "Oh! Thank God!" With her husband's assistance, she arose and said, "well, we must not keep Miss Darcy waiting."

Her pace did not match her excitement as they made their way to the nursery. She could not be more relieved to hear that the nursery was completed at last, for she could not vouch for her self-control if she was expected to wait another week. Her heart pounded as they made their way to the corridor as all the excitement and months of anticipation came coursing through her veins. She smiled widely as she met Georgiana and Philip waiting patiently outside the door. When she stood before them, she collected her son's other hand, "ready?" Georgiana asked and when she nodded her sister indicated for her to do the honours. Finally, Elizabeth could turn that handle and she did so without hesitation.

She took a fortifying breath before she walked through the door to behold the magnificent within. It was an amazing display of elegance, light and warmth and her eyes could not take it all in fast enough. The purple and cream adorned the room with royal elegance and it was truly beyond description.

She turned to see her family as they awaited her words of adoration. But there were no words; instead, tears pulled in her eyes as she looked at them. Philip gently patted her hand and as she looked down to receive his comfort, tears ran down her face. Fitzwilliam came and stood beside her and offered her his handkerchief, but the sight of her clumsy stitches on one of the gifts she had given him for Christmas caused the tears to flow faster. "Oh, this is ridiculous." She managed to say as she wiped her tears. "Words cannot describe the beauty, the light, the love…" she continued before she was once again overpowered by her emotions. In lieu of words, she rushed into her sister's outstretched arms and embraced her with warmth and the gratitude she could not eloquently express.

She could not hear her husband's words of gratitude; it had faded into the background as she once again took in all that was before her. It was not the style nor the fashion that moved her to tears – although they were all testimony of Georgiana's artistic vision. It was the little things that lay here and there. It was the painting of Pemberley's beautiful garden, as seen from the bench that she sat on with her husband every morning. It was the blanket that she and Georgiana had made together, as they formed a bond that would prove just as resilient as the one she shared with her husband. It was the chestnut cradle that had carried her husband and sister, a cradle that had required meticulous attention for it to be fit for purpose. It was Lady Anne's rattle that sat patiently on the chest of drawers, awaiting their child's firm grip. It was the rocking chair she had held Philip in when he was a baby – it had merely taken a hint of her desire to have that chair for Georgiana to facilitate its transfer. It was her family standing with her with varied looks of admiration – and it was beautiful.

She did not have to struggle to appear more composed than she felt. She was with her family.

"What do you think mama?" Philip asked excitedly as he freed his hand from her grip to pick up the rattle.

"It is beautiful." She said looking at her family.

* * *

With the nursery completed, Elizabeth and Mrs Reynolds could turn their attention to the necessary preparations for her lying-in chamber. It was a testimony of the relationship that Mrs Reynolds had developed with her mistress, that she was comfortable in quietly expressing some concern with regards to Elizabeth's plans for how the room was to be decorated.

But Elizabeth would not compromise in this area. Although she had no complaints with regards to Philip's birth – for how could she complain, she was alive and had a hearty son to show for her effort. The months leading up to childbirth had been distasteful, to say the least. The experience was so unpleasant that Elizabeth made a promise to herself; next time, she would do things her way – society be damned.

So her lying-in chamber would not be kept dark as though she was being led to her doom. The room would not be boarded up nor would there be any burning of foul smelling incense. No, the windows would be opened and the room appropriately aired.

In this, she was doing away with centuries of tradition, but the people her come to love their mistress so any well-meaning disapproval was quickly hushed. When it was time to conduct the final inspections for the room, Elizabeth was pleased with everything that she saw – the room was no different than any other guest room and she was pleased with that. With that matter sorted Elizabeth could finally feel that there was nothing left to do but await the arrival of her child.

Whilst she had been ensuring the preparations that she required were made ready, her husband had not been idle. It was his only desire that Dr Marlow make himself available to assist at the birth. After receiving Elizabeth's tacit compliance, he had spared no expense in proving to Dr Marlow that he was needed at Pemberley. So when he had received Dr Marlow's letter informing him of his return to Derbyshire, Darcy was very pleased. He entered the morning room with a bounce in his step. He tousled Philip's hair and kissed her and Georgiana on the cheek, before attending to his breakfast.

"You seem very happy." She observed as he selected his food.

"Yes I have just received some excellent news," he declared to their amusement. They all had to wait in suspense before he continued, "Dr Marlow will be making his way to the North and we can expect him in Derbyshire any day now."

"Is that all?" Georgiana asked surprised. "I expected at the very least that we would be entertaining the Prince, with the level of your unadulterated excitement." She quipped.

"Trust me, my dear, entertaining the Prince would not be cause for celebration. In any case, Dr Marlow's presence will be a source of relief and joy."

"I was under the impression that pressing business took him to the South," Elizabeth observed unsure what to make of her husband's announcement. "But it must not be so very pressing if he should leave it. After all, it might be many days yet before I am put to bed."

"I was led to believe that childbirth kept its own schedule. As to Dr Marlow's business I have no notion of what it is. But I can attest to the fact that he did not leave it easily. But his presence is needed here."

Fitzwilliam had never been easy with the fact that only Mrs Morris attended her, for she had stubbornly refused to even hear Dr Jacobs' name mentioned. No matter how diligent Mrs Morris was in her care, and she was very diligent for she met Elizabeth on a weekly basis, Fitzwilliam was not satisfied. But she had given her word that should Dr Marlow come, she would receive him.

So after breakfast that morning she returned to her state of anxiety. She laughed as she considered that her nerves were in such a state, she was beginning to be sympathetic to her mother's nervous complaints. She did not like the idea that a gentleman would come and disturb her carefully laid plans for the birth of her child. For indeed her greatest challenge during her first confinement had been the well-respected accoucheur, Dr Richmond. He had been the one to place her in the dark, the one who restricted her movements and her foods. And on receiving no support from either her mother or her husband, she had conceded to the doctor's every demand. This time, she would not concede. And so she was worried about the effect that would have on Fitzwilliam. She did not want to distress him by being at odds with someone he esteemed.

She worried for days before the good doctor arrived, only to find out she worried for nothing. Dr Marlow was nothing like Dr Jacobs – and that was the highest compliment she could bestow on someone of his profession. He was a young man, perhaps a year or two older than Fitzwilliam and there was no condescension or obsequiousness to his manner. On meeting him she could not help but chastise herself for her unnecessary worrying – of course, Fitzwilliam would not bestow his respect cheaply. That her husband truly respected the doctor, was easy to see right from the first day. His greeting of the man was warm and inviting, he even went so far as to shake the doctor's hand.

Her introduction to the doctor immediately put her at ease. The respect he extended to her husband was not withheld from her and she was pleased to see that. He asked all the right questions with regards to her health and general wellbeing and gave sensible responses to her enquiries. When he declared that he was happy for Mrs Morris to continue to see to her, she rewarded him with a delightful smile. She did experience a little trepidation when he asked to see her lying-in chamber, but even that little fear was unnecessary. He openly expressed his approval of the changes she had made and even told her that he had been pioneering changes to the way women came to bed, it was time to put old practices to rest he declared boldly. He instructed that the room be cleaned on a daily basis until she was confined. He shared with them his ideas regarding cleanliness and infection, that was the work that had taken him to Southampton – he had gone in search of like-minded people with regards to his theories.

Since Elizabeth was showing no signs of the baby's impending arrival, Dr Marlow deferred the offer to reside at Pemberley. His long absence from the county meant he had work to do before he could focus solely on the patient at Pemberley and since he had promised to visit when Mrs Morris did, everyone was happy.

So with her anxieties laid to rest, all that was left for everyone to do was wait. In this, their child would prove to be disobliging. The sad truth was that Elizabeth only prayed for an early arrival of their child so that her mother might miss the event and arrive after the child was born. For the sake of her peace of mind, she had informed her father that under no circumstance was he to allow her mother to begin making her way to Derbyshire until the end of February.

"Why invite her at all if her presence would not be helpful?" Fitzwilliam had asked when she had told him that her mother's arrival was purposefully delayed.

"Because she is my mother and because it is expected."

"Was she of no help during your first confinement?"

"No, she was not." She said with a heavy sigh. "She came two months before Philip was born and nothing about all I had prepared for the birth pleased her. I had expected that, but it was still distressing to have to justify my every decision when I was rarely allowed to make any decisions in the first place. However, the real trouble began when I started having some mild discomforts. They were nothing to be concerned by and indeed I experience them even now. But she could not see the situation for what it was, so she complained and made dreadful predictions until Andrew called for the accoucheur. Dr Richmond declared that a woman of my delicate nature should be confined to the bed until I bore my child. It was a very distressing experience and of course any protestations I made only served as more evidence of my delicate nature. So in the end, I conceded. My refusal to do so was distressing everyone, including my baby. So I spent a month in darkness, because of my mother." There was a pause before she smiled unexpectedly then said, "it is strange but the second I held Philip in my arms it was all forgotten. I have not even thought about it until now."

"Did Lord Rockwood not step in, against your mother?" He asked unable to see the joy at the end of her narration.

She sighed before she said, "Andrew was worn down by my mother's nervous complaints. He was not used to her ways and she was very insistent. I think he only called Dr Richmond because he believed the doctor would contradict my mother, but when he did not, it became difficult for him to support my opposition. They were both very insistent.

"Well, rest assured I will protect you from your mother's nervous complaints. She thinks me too proud and aloof to ever complain to me, so she has no hope of gaining my support." He said as he kissed her forehead.

She took hold of his face and kissed him deeply. "Thank you." She whispered.

"What for?"

"For your unwavering support. For taking an interest. For being the best man I have ever known."

"I stand with you, Elizabeth." He said forcefully. "The whole world be damned; I stand with you."

* * *

As Elizabeth sat awaiting their guest, she wished she could arise and walk about the room. But the opportunity to stretch her legs was not worth the effort it would take to stand and sit back down again. So she collected the hand Georgiana had offered and tried to smile in response. She was being ridiculous, there was no need to be anxious, she reminded herself. But as they heard two footsteps approach, she was grateful for the hand Fitzwilliam laid on her shoulder. There was no greater anchor than his firm and steady arms.

"Mr John Franklyn." Mr Keith announced and John came in behind him and he looked just as he always did. She held her breath as he conducted a quiet appraisal of her person, his gaze was not friendly – but then she could not remember if he had ever gazed upon her in a friendly manner. it had always been condescending, but never friendly. But as his gaze was not unfriendly, she forced herself to breathe and conduct the necessary introductions.

She had completely forgotten that they had invited John to Pemberley. In retrospect, she had wondered why she had kept their meeting so late, but a part of her did not want to see him. Or rather she did not want him to see her so happy. It felt like a betrayal. She had moved on. She had found love again, she was happy and increasing. Her life by all accounts was perfect _without_ Andrew and it seemed cruel to parade that fact before Andrew's brother.

With the necessary introductions out of the way, she offered him a seat, called for some refreshments and inquired after his journey to the North. They discussed mundane pleasantries until the refreshments arrived. He informed then that he had not been in London, as they had previously imagined, but in Bath. The journey from Bath had been very long and the roads were as bad as could be expected for this time of year. They took some time to discuss the effect of the snow on the declining country roads, and when the tea came, he expressed his surprise that she had remembered how he liked his tea served.

There was a moment of silence whilst they partook of their refreshment, but it was clear that he wanted to speak. So the silence remained until he chose to do so. He apologised for everything. For his actions before his brother die, and after. He congratulated her on her marriage and then surprised them all by asking for Fitzwilliam's forgiveness. He was a changed man, and how long this change would last she could not say. But when he requested to see his nephew, she was happy to call for Philip.

When their son appeared he did not run into her arms - as he had done before. He stood straight before them like a gentleman, and she could not help but beam with pride as he executed a perfect bow. He then surprised them all by going to stand by his father, and although Fitzwilliam showed no outward sign of his approval, they all felt it.

They waited in silence as John examined his nephew, they could all see his surprise that the young boy who stood before him was not the baby he remembered, and Elizabeth could determine the moment when John finally realised that Philip had no memory of him. He was a stranger to all of them. Unable to bear witness to his anguish, Elizabeth reintroduced him to her son. She could see the confusion in her son's eyes as he tried to understand just who this man was. That had been her greatest fear – that he was too young to understand. But when Fitzwilliam laid his hand on his son's shoulder, confusion was driven out and father and son ignored the rest of them to smile at one another.

Sensing the need for a serious conversation that would only add to Philip's confusion, Elizabeth called for Mrs Hopkins to collect her charge.

"He will know nothing of his heritage," John whispered and though his tone carried no accusations, all three Darcys were offended.

"Yes, he will." She said forcefully. "It is my duty… **Our** duty to ensure that he grows up proud of his heritage."

"What can I do?" He asked dejectedly, which only added to her frustration.

"Be there for him." She replied as she stared him down. "He knows Andrew, he will always know about his father. But when the time is right he will understand that he is blessed to have called two wonderful men father. He has no use for your self-pity nor does he deserve merely a lifetime of apologies. He needs you to be there for him. That is how you ensure that he is proud of his heritage."

They discussed many things after he made a solemn promise to be an active member of his nephew's life. But there were still many things to discuss and many steps to be taken before a familial relationship was established, but everyone was happy to take the situation one day at a time. So she informed him that she took no issue with him residing in Nettleham should he choose to do so, which he did. They had a long road ahead of them, but Elizabeth felt some relief that she could share the responsibility of upholding Andrew's memory with someone else.

* * *

As February drew to a close, Dr Marlow saw fit to accept Fitzwilliam's invitation to reside at Pemberley until the baby was born. Although Elizabeth had experienced no sign of her impending confinement, they all felt that the baby's arrival was very imminent. Truth be told, it was comforting for everyone to have the good doctor within the walls of Pemberley, and although Mrs Morris continued in her examination, it was a relief to know the doctor was at hand.

On retrospect, Elizabeth will remember that Mrs Morris had looked increasingly worried since the start of February. But on the 26th of February, the midwife could no longer hide her suspicions.

"What is the matter?" Elizabeth asked when she noticed the older woman's frown. When she hesitated. Elizabeth's hand flew to her stomach and she waited until she felt the almost constant movement of her child. She looked up to receive Mrs Morris' smile, but it did not come. She waited to hear, "Tis nowt ma'am, everything is fine." But she did not say those words.

Instead, she said, "I am sorry ma'am, but the baby is not in the right position and I fear there is no more room for the baby to turn." There was a moment of silence as Elizabeth's mind rushed to protect her from Mrs Morris' words. But the news would not be kept at bay, and understanding forced its way through her defences - all was not well.

"What do you mean by that?" She almost challenged as she struggled to sit up. "You told me the baby was head down?" Her voice must have been louder than she had intended – or the gentlemen had been listening at the door – for the door connecting to the adjoining sitting room of her lying-in chamber opened, and Fitzwilliam and Dr Marlow came through.

"What is the matter?" Fitzwilliam asked on entering the room.

"It appears there is some…difficulty with regards to the baby's position." Elizabeth supplied, "although I do not understand what you mean by that." She said returning her attention to Mrs Morris as she tried to remember not to shoot the messenger.

"The baby is head down ma'am, but it is also facing upwards." She declared ominously, but only Dr Marlow understood the implications of her words.

He drew closer to her side, "may I?" he asked as he laid his hand on her chemise and pressed into her abdomen. There was no time to consider her modesty as she diligently watched his face – hoping for a different report. His touch was not the gentle caresses she had experienced at her husband's hands, he was very purposeful in the placement of his fingers and he gave no attention to the tenderness of her flesh. When he was done, there was no need for him to speak, his face said it all.

She turned to her husband and found him in a stupor. But when she reached out for his comfort, he awoke from his trance and completed his journey to her side. There was no fear in his eyes as he comforted her, he showed no emotion at all. And that was oddly comforting. He raised her hand to his lips and for a second she forgot her carers and their look of concern.

But she could not remain cocooned by her husband's strength. "What do you feel Marlow?" Fitzwilliam asked in a dangerously steady voice.

"The same thing Mrs Morris felt; the baby is head down but facing upwards." At his confirmation of this unknown danger, Elizabeth released her husband's hand and laid it on her abdomen in an effort to feel what they felt. Dr Marlow collected her hand and guided it across her stomach, "this is the head…the shoulder…the knee and I believe this is the foot." When he had finished – and she had a little more understanding of what they meant – tears formed in her eyes.

"What does this position mean for Mrs Darcy?" Her husband asked. His concern was first and foremost her welfare and that gave her more strength than any words could have.

"The birth will be difficult if the baby does not turn."

"Can the baby still turn?" She asked, desperate for some hope.

"Yes, it is more difficult for the baby to do so when it is this big, but it is not impossible."

"Can the baby be turned?" Fitzwilliam asked.

"I can try to do so. But turning is used mostly when the baby is breeched and that is not the case with Mrs Darcy. In any case, to try and turn the baby externally can be very discomforting and may not be successful. To turn the baby internally is very dangerous, so it will have to be the last resort."

"What happens if the baby does not turn?" She whispered.

"Then we press on as best we can." He said with compassion.

"What can I do?" She asked with a hint of desperation.

"You can watch for the baby's movement for it may yet turn. People say that walking makes the baby turn, but most people favour resting – to conserve their energy for the birth."

"Well, I have no desire to be idle, I am not formed for idleness." She tried to say in jest as she looked to her husband for support. "Thank you, Mrs Morris, Dr Marlow, that will be all." She said dismissing them, they had done their part. Once the room was cleared of all but her husband, Elizabeth allowed herself to cry. They shared no words, but instead they wrapped one another in a comforting embrace.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: I dedicate this chapter to all mothers, who come in various shapes and sizes, I salute you all. To the midwives, nurses, doctors, fathers and everyone who does their utmost to respect and support the choices mothers' make with regards to their labour and delivery, thank you.**

Chapter 30 (Chapter 29 Part 2)

Unwilling to distress anyone else with such poor news, Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam told no one of their child's new distressing position. Together they bore the burden of watching and waiting for any changes in the baby's position. Although he had been in favour of her resting, he made no opposition when she expressed a desire to take daily exercises. So, every morning and every evening they would wrap up warm and go for a gentle walk around Pemberley's garden. And every night they checked to see if their endeavours were successful. But they were not.

So it was with a heavy heart that Elizabeth welcomed her parents into Pemberley. The Bennets arrived at Pemberley on the 3rd of March and as Elizabeth sat with her family in the drawing room to await their guest, she was uncharacteristically nervous.

"Oh my dear Mrs Darcy!" her mother exclaimed as soon as she entered the drawing room, "oh dear, you do look pale. You should be resting, there is no need to stand on ceremony, I told your father this. We do not expect you to host us, I am very happy to act as hostess in your stead, you should be resting. Like you did when you had Philip, and look how well that turned out. But then you never listen." She stopped to take in her surroundings.

"Thank you, mama, and welcome to Pemberley." Elizabeth quickly said intercepting her mother before accepting her father's warm embrace. "And where is Lydia?" She asked after her mother had greeted the Darcys and fussed over Philip.

"I judged it best for her to visit Jane," her father informed them, "after all, Pemberley will soon be welcoming a new member into the household. I did not want it to become too overcrowded. In any case, Lydia missed Kitty and so such a decision suited everyone." He smiled and they smiled in response, they were grateful for his consideration.

"Overcrowded! What utter nonsense!" Mrs Bennet exclaimed interrupting her husband. "Why Pemberley is almost twice the size of Ledford Hall. Which is surprising considering Lord Ledford is a Baron. But it is good for Lydia to be so rewarded, after all, she has had every source of joy taken from her. To be introduced into society, then taken from it before she has had her full enjoyment of all that it has to offer. Why she is positively melancholy." Mrs Bennet lamented before collecting a cup of tea from her daughter. "Jane looked very well. I do believe she will soon have some news of her own to share, and I told Mr Stanley he was not to fret, for Jane is the most dutiful of all my daughters and she will make an excellent mother."

"I am sure she was happy to hear that," Elizabeth said as her mother sipped her tea.

"They keep a very small society in Leicester. When we dined with them there were no new guests at the dinner table. But the food was well done, Lady Ledford is certainly a very accomplished hostess. But I do worry for Jane, it will be many years before she can act as hostess, perhaps Mr Stanley can lease an estate of his own. I would have mentioned that to him, had I been given the chance to do so. It might be best for them to lease Netherfield perhaps, they really do move in such an unvarying society and that might not be the best for the girls. They will have little prospects if they remain confined to the society in Leicestershire. But then there is always the season in town, I suppose I will have to be content with that. This is a lovely house."

"What news from Mary?" Elizabeth asked her father when her mother stopped to enjoy some of the sweet treats before her.

"Oh, Mary is doing quite well." Her mother replied. "Although I am vexed to see them consorting with Mr and Mrs Collins. It is such a betrayal and I told her as much but she never listens. We did not have the pleasure of dining with your aunt Mr Darcy. I thought it quite strange, for Mary assured us she knew we were in the vicinity." Elizabeth turned to see how her husband would receive that statement and she was not surprised to see him standing by the window with his back to the room. Sensing their eyes on him, he turned and bowed before returning his attention to the view.

Elizabeth smiled slightly before giving her mother her attention, "you must be tired after such a long journey." She declared and called for the servant.

"I am indeed, for it was an excessively long journey and I told your father I would not be inclined to make such a journey regularly. But this is a special occasion. Mind you, if we had set off any later we might have missed the birth entirely. But men never seem to care about such things."

Having said her peace, for now. She stood up and followed the maid who was to show her to her room – unaffected by the fact that the rest of the company chose to remain where they were.

So it was left to Mr Bennet to actually ask after his daughter's health. He expressed his surprise that the baby had not yet arrived, for he knew that Elizabeth had delayed their invitation to Pemberley for that specific purpose. But when he was assured that all was well, he was happy to follow his wife to go and refresh himself.

After a significant look from Elizabeth, Georgiana took hold of Philip's hand and led him away from the room. Elizabeth did not imagine for a second that her sister would be returning her nephew to his studies. She smiled when her husband finally took his place beside her. "I am glad to see the return of Mr Darcy, although he can be disagreeable and aloof, I have rather missed him." She said as soon as he was seated.

"What do you mean by that?" He asked as he took hold of her hand.

"Just that I had become so accustomed to Fitzwilliam I quite forgot about Mr Darcy."

"Are they not one in the same?"

"Oh no! Fitzwilliam is my loving, caring husband. Whilst Mr Darcy was the aloof gentleman I met in Hertfordshire, who had the propensity to stand against windows with his back towards the room in a manner that told everyone present that he was above their company."

He laughed then said, "ah yes the Mr Darcy of Hertfordshire. I imagine something very drastic must have happened to make him retreat indefinitely."

"Yes, something wonderful did happen. He married an impertinent lady who has the propensity to laugh at him when he is being aloof or disagreeable."

"Hmm, and does he appreciate such a wife?" He whispered into her ears as he drew closer to her.

"I should imagine he does." She tried to remain serious as he kissed her jaw line, but she was too easily distracted.

They reluctantly separated when they heard footsteps approaching and were surprised when Mr Keith appeared with uncle Anthony.

"Lord Daley." Mr Keith announced as Fitzwilliam stood to greet his uncle.

"Uncle Anthony, this is a surprise." She exclaimed as he bowed and kissed her hand.

"A wonderful surprise I hope?"

"Always."

"We had yet to receive word regarding the state of Elizabeth's health and your aunts were worried." He informed them. "So they sent me to ensure that all is well."

"I am sorry uncle; I have been a poor correspondent. But it would seem the latest member of the Darcy family wishes to be disobliging with regards to his or her arrival, so we must all endeavour to be patient."

He smiled at her, before turning towards her husband then said, "I must admit I am glad to see that. For you see, I had hoped to be there for you Fitzwilliam, when the time came. I was there for your father when you and Georgiana were born, and he was there for me during the birth of my two sons. With his absence, I thought it right that I come and if you will have me, it will be my honour to stand with you during this time."

"Thank you, sir," Fitzwilliam said his voice a little heavy. The men shook hands with one another and Elizabeth asked about the remaining members of their family to defuse the emotional tension that had filled the room. Once she was assured that everyone was well, she left her husband with his uncle to see to the room preparations.

It had been difficult for Elizabeth to decide which family members she wanted present at Pemberley for the birth of her child. Of her sisters, only Mary had been of any support during her last confinement. Although both Jane and Mary had been limited in their capacity to help by the fact that they were maidens, Mary had been the only one willing to defy Mrs Bennet and Dr Richmond by being present in her lying-in chamber. In truth, she doubted whether Jane's serene nature would have allowed her to be of any use during such a painful time.

But in the end it did not matter who she particularly wanted; she did not want their entire family congregating in her lying-in chamber and she could exclude no one without feeling some guilt and embarrassment, so she had invited no one. Citing her husband's desire to have as quiet a household as possible, they had informed their family that they would be happy to receive them once the baby was born.

But now she saw the error in excluding their family members. Despite their own unique expressions of love, they all desired to be a support during what was increasingly becoming a difficult time. Their support should have been embraced however officiously it might have been presented. If not for her sake, then for Fitzwilliam's. So she was grateful for Uncle Anthony's unexpected arrival.

* * *

The first couple of days of her mother's residence had been strangely peaceful. It had taken a day and a half for Mrs Bennet to recuperate, and when she was sufficiently recovered from her journey, she made no unnecessary demands. She refused a tour of Pemberley, declaring that she was pleased with all that she saw – for the wealth of the family was clear for all to see. And uncle Anthony's presence went a long way in ensuring that she checked herself the majority of the time.

But the peace did not last. She had just arisen from her afternoon rest, and as usual, she had gone in search of her husband when her mother accosted her outside Fitzwilliam's study. "Elizabeth! Ah! – it is high time we set our minds to more serious matters." Her mother declared on seeing her, and Elizabeth cursed herself for not moving faster – for Mrs Bennet would not have dared to enter Fitzwilliam's study.

"Matters, mama?" She said as she tried to reach for the door, but her shrewd mother stepped in front of her and thereby blocking her escape. She tried not to cry out in exasperation.

"Yes, very important matters. I do not know why your father insisted on our coming so late." She said collecting Elizabeth's hand and guiding her towards the stairs, further separating her from her escape route. "And I did protest against his declaration. But he would not be reasoned with, insufferable man that he is. I told him that you would need my help during such a time. But, I am here now so we must make the best of what little time we have left. It is good that you are well rested, but my dear it would be better if you had remained in bed. All this walking about can do no good. Just look how well your last confinement went, it would be best if you listened to my advice, my dear." On and on she went and Elizabeth knew not whether screaming or crying would secure her freedom, for she felt like doing both. But before she could decide on either, they had reached her lying-in chamber. She had to resist the urge to throw herself before the door, to bar her mother from entering.

"Oh no, no, no. This will not do!" Her mother exclaimed as soon as she entered the room. Her displeasure was so great that she almost walked right into Ginevra.

"Sorry ma'am, " the maid said as she curtsied before them. She waited to see if she was required to do anything, but when Elizabeth shook her head, she returned her attention to stripping the bed.

Dr Marlow had requested that the beddings be changed every day irrespective of use, he had also asked that the birthing chair be replaced with a bed in anticipation of the likelihood of a long and arduous labour. He had suggested that a monthly nurse be engaged, but Elizabeth had rejected such a notion. She felt that there was not enough time to search for a nurse that she liked, and she would not have a perfect stranger attending to her when she was at her most vulnerable. When Mrs Reynolds suggested that Ginevra could occupy that role, Elizabeth agreed to it. So it was left to Ginevra to ensure that Dr Marlow's many instructions were followed.

"What could you have been thinking?" Her mother's voice pulled her out of her thoughts. "This is entirely unsuitable. One would think this any other room in the house, it is not done, Elizabeth."

Sensing her mother would have a lot to say on the matter, Elizabeth turned to Ginevra and said, "could you leave us please."

"Yes, ma'am." The maid replied, but as she curtsied to leave, Elizabeth noticed the look of disdain on her mother's face. This was not going to be an easy fight she thought as she was left alone with her mother.

"What was that girl doing here?" Her mother asked with her nose raised so high one would think her the queen's mother. "Such people should have no dealings with the family. If they are to be kept, then they must remain below stairs."

Elizabeth took a fortifying breath, before she replied, "I thank you, ma'am but it is not your place to tell me what servants I am to employ, or how they should be put to work."

"You are becoming too highhanded for your own good, Elizabeth." Her mother interrupted.

"Furthermore," she said above her mother's words, "Ginevra will be the baby's nursemaid when it is born, and in the meantime, she is to be my monthly nurse. So I expect you to respect the decisions that I have made, even when they are not the decisions you would have made."

There was a moment of silence as her mother struggled with her disbelief. But when she found her voice she did not shy away from using it in full force. "What utter nonsense! Your nursemaid! Your monthly nurse! Elizabeth, have you taken leave of your senses! This is not done."

"I know it is not fashionable to do so, but it is my choice." Elizabeth fought to say.

"She will frighten your children! Not to mention what possible effects her presence will have during childbirth, and then when one considers this room – a room that is entirely unsuitable for the birth of a child. I have to wonder just what has been going on at Pemberley thus far!"

"Enough Madam!" They both jumped and turned to see Fitzwilliam at the door. Elizabeth did not know how he was alerted to their disagreement, but she could not help the relief she felt at his presence. "That is enough, Mrs Bennet." He said quietly but sternly, "I am sure I need not remind you that Elizabeth is mistress here, and it is within her purview to order everything as she sees fit. As a guest in _our_ home, I expect you to respect her authority." Elizabeth turned to see how her mother received her husband's decree and it was as she expected. That she did not like it was plain to see, that she could not utter a word against such a powerful man was also clear. After her internal struggles, she dropped a small curtsy whilst allowing her face to express her displeasure. "Now ladies, may I escort you to the music room, I do believe Georgiana can be induced to entertain us all." He offered his arm to them, and after Mrs Bennet reluctantly accepted it, he led them to the music room. He remained by her side for the rest of the day to ensure that her mother did not accost her in his absence, and as Elizabeth observed her mother's silent displeasure, she could not help her smile. She truly had the best protector.

* * *

 _Dear Fitzwilliam_ _._

 _Dearest Fitzwilliam_ _._

 _My Dearest Fitzwilliam_ _._

Elizabeth sighed in frustration as she threw her pen down. She had been at her desk for hours trying to write the impossible. This was not the first of such letters she had had to write; she had written one to Andrew at the beginning of her confinement with Philip. Although she had considered the notion of A Last Letter to be morbid, she had still managed to write one. She could not imagine that it truly brought anyone comfort, but it was expected.

But this time, it was an impossibility. She had at first, refuse the notion of even writing a letter this time around. To her mind, it indicated some small form of defeat, and she would not allow herself to consider even the possibility of saying goodbye. But that was before. Before they knew the difficulties that faced them. Before their baby refused to move in any significant way. But now that she had settled in her mind to write, her words failed her.

It had been three hours and she had only managed to write his name – and she was not even pleased with that. "This should not be so difficult." She said to Duchess, her constant companion. It was a rare moment of peace for her. Her mother was resting, the gentlemen were entertaining themselves and Georgiana was entertaining Philip. She had stolen away to her study for the opportunity to write that all-important letter, but she had made no progress whatsoever.

She sighed once again as she gave up. It was the most selfish thing she had ever done. For the thought that such a letter might be of help should the worst happen was never far from her mind. But for the sake of her peace of mind, she stopped trying to say goodbye.

Not willing to wallow in another round of self-deprecation. She heaved herself onto her feet, disposing all evidence of her failed attempts into the fire and she went in search of her son. There were still no signs of labour. In fact, the only sign she felt that the end was near, was the increasing desire to spend time with Philip. It was not goodbye; it was just a recognition that with the arrival of a new baby, she would have less time to be with him. But she feared that it would not be seen as such, and she did not want Fitzwilliam to worry. So she had been overtly spending time with him – especially when Fitzwilliam could not escape seeing to matters on the estate.

She met Henry outside the door and with his help, she went in search of her son. When they finally arrived on the third floor, she was surprised to see that Philip was not alone. She opened the door to find her husband sitting on the rocking chair in Philip's nursery with Philip in his arms.

Fitzwilliam had always shown more affection to Philip than was expected from a gentleman of his standing. It was one of the many things she loved about her husband. In the company of others, he behaved just like every other gentleman, but in the privacy of their family rooms, he opened his heart to the small boy. But even for him, rocking a sleeping child was a little out of the ordinary.

"Is something wrong?" She whispered, after taking a moment to be warmed by the sight. He looked up, favoured her with a smile, before stretching out his hand towards her.

"Nothing is wrong," he whispered before he kissed her hand. "Your father was reading to Philip in the library when he fell asleep. I merely offered to bring him up. He refused to release my coat, so I sat down." She smiled then looked down to see Philip's tight grip on his lapel. She leant in and laid her head against Philip and took a deep breath. She did not smell the soft sweetness that was so reminiscent of her son when he was a baby. Truth be told, he smelt like Duke, and that brought a smile to her face.

After a moment, Fitzwilliam vacated the rocking chair and attempted once more to place Philip onto the bed. With her help, his efforts were successful. He led her back to the rocking chair, helped her onto it, before crouching down in front of her.

"I know what you are about Elizabeth," he said softly as he looked deeply into her eyes. "It is perfectly alright for you to want to be with Philip. There is no need for you to try to do so clandestinely." She attempted to protest, but he stilled her words. "Neither of us know what this new situation will bring. But it is as you once told me, we must do our best and trust God where our strength fails."

"I am scared." She finally allowed herself to say it out loud – even if it was just a whisper, it was cathartic.

He took a very deep breath before saying, "no matter what happens, I promise to do my best and trust God where my strength fails."

"Promise me you will live." She whispered as tears pulled around her eyes. This was the only assurance she wanted from him. That he would live and not merely survive.

Many heartbeats passed before he could bring himself to whisper, "I promise to try."

It was all she could ask of him, so she threw her hands around him and promised him the very same thing.

* * *

It was the 10th of March, but Elizabeth had no knowledge of that fact and she would inquire after the date when the day was almost over. In the early hours of the day Elizabeth was yet again awakened by a sharp pain that radiated down her back. Pain had become her constant companion these last couple of months, but this pain was different and when it had passed, she remembered to rejoice; it was the beginning.

Although her past experience was limited to the single encounter, Elizabeth still had enough understanding to recognise that it was still early for a fussed to be made for a pain that might not even progress into anything significant. So she returned her head to her pillows and tried to accomplish the impossible. Fortunately, she was able to return to sleep for a few hours before the pain woke her up once again.

By the time she heard a knock on the door she had been awake for almost two hours, battling through the pain and discomfort. She had just been about to call for her husband's support when the knock awoke him.

"What is the matter?" he called out – his irritation was not well hidden. But they were both surprised when Mr Keith opened the door, with a candle in his hand. It was then she registered the fact it was still early in the morning, for the sun had yet to rise.

"Sir, sorry to disturb you, but there is a fire on the estate." Mr Keith said with great urgency, but it still took a moment for Fitzwilliam to overcome his sleep and rise to action.

"Where?" He asked as she also attempted to arise from the bed.

"The Stretton's cottage sir." They both sighed in relieved that Pemberley was not in danger.

"What is being done?" He asked as he tried to get ready in the poor light of a single candle.

"The men have been called, some had gone to the nearest well, and others to the river."

"Call someone to light the fire in here, Elizabeth you must be cold." He said as he collected the candle from Mr Keith to light the others in their room.

"No that will not be necessary, I will rise up."

"No, you will do no such thing!" He said more forcefully than he intended, as he rushed to her side and attempted to still her own attempts to rise. "Elizabeth we have no need for your help, go back to sleep." He said in frustration when she stood on her feet.

"I have no intentions in following after you," she said with mild irritation. But the rest of her words were stilled when she felt a warmth running down her legs. She sighed – this was not the best time for this to happen.

"What was that?" He asked as he felt some of the water on his person.

"No doubt the carpet is ruined." She quipped when she saw his confusion. "My time has come," she whispered – mindful of the fact that they were not alone. His mouth opened in an unbecoming manner as he watched her in a stupor. The second understanding forced its way through, he rushed into action and she was in his arms before she could form words to protest.

He heard none of her words of surprise, and with a strength that even he would later marvel at, he rushed her down to her lying-in chamber, calling for help as he went along the way.

They were in the room and she was on the bed before Mr Keith had arrived with all the necessary people. There was a fury of activity around her before Elizabeth shouted for order, and they all stopped to look at her. As Fitzwilliam was the root of the disturbance, she reached out for his hand and asked him to sit by her side.

"It will be some time before there is a need for haste," she informed him softly, "but in the meantime, there are more pressing matters at hand. You must go and see to the fire." When he attempted to protest she laid her hand over his mouth to still his words. "The people will expect you to at least show your presence there and I do not need you by my side at this very second. Who are the closest people to the Strettons?"

He looked at her as though she had taken leave of her senses, but when she made it clear that she expected him to answer, he said, "The Bradshaws, Sherwoods and Masons, I believe."

"I thought as much. All of them have young children that should be seen too or they may get hurt in all the confusion of the fire. The school will be too cold for them to reside there and I imagine that it will be some time before the fire is put out. I believe the lake is still frozen?" When he confirmed that that was the case, she nodded then said, "Well then the fire is likely to spread. Have a carriage sent around and the women and children collected and brought to Pemberley. I will ensure that Mrs Reynolds sees to them."

"I will do that." Georgiana interrupted.

The sisters smiled at one another, before Elizabeth continued, "good, I will leave things in your capable hands. But I leave Philip in your hands Fitzwilliam. I have no way of knowing how things will progress here, but he must be awoken and taken to the parsonage. I have spoken to Mrs Lowell and we have agreed that whilst I labour, she will take care of him. So you must take him to her."

"If you think I will leave your side to go parading around, then you are seriously mistaken, madam."

She did not smile at his words; he was just being stubborn. "There is a fire on the estate, do you think I could trust Philip in any other hands but your own?" She challenged. "I am talking about taking our son from the safety of Pemberley, and I need you to go with him. I need _you_ to assess the danger he may be in and determine if he will remain safe in the parsonage for however long I may need him to remain there. I trust no one else to look at the situation like I would. That is what I am trusting into your care." He had the grace to look ashamed.

"Very well." He conceded. "I will do as you have asked."

She kissed him then said, "do not forget the women and children. And please bring him to me when he wakes, I want to kiss his forehead before he leaves."

When he left to see to all that she asked, she gave some instructions to Georgiana before she also left, and then allowed Lucy and Ginevra to fuss over her. With their help, she was changed into the shift and petticoat selected for labour and settled into the bed. Mrs Morris and Dr Marlow were welcomed into the room and the progress of her labour was determined to be in its early stages.

By the time Fitzwilliam returned with Philip the room was in more ordered than he left it, so Elizabeth was able to turn her attention to Philip's tears. She had expected him to cry, for he disliked his sleep being interrupted for any reason; Andrew was just like that, only he did not cry. So she stretched forth her hands and collected him from Fitzwilliam's arms.

"I know, I know." She said soothingly as she dried his tears and kissed the top of his head, he smelt like himself again, she thought with a smile. She let him cry a little longer before she said, "Oh, Philip you will see William when you get to the parsonage, and you can play with Duke, and you do not have to attend lessons with Mrs Hopkins."

"I can take Duke?" He asked with delight.

"You can take Duke and your toys and anything you like." His jovial nature returned almost instantly. She allowed him to remain with her for some time and the others gave her room to enjoy her son's company.

But too soon, the pain returned and it took all her strength not to cry out. Sensing something was wrong Fitzwilliam picked up the boy as she turned from them. It was as though her back had been set on fire.

"Shall I take him away?" He asked unsure of what to do.

"No." She grunted through the pain as fear gripped her What if this was the last time she had with him. Such treacherous thoughts came unbidden - she wanted a better goodbye.

After some time, the pain subsided and she turned to see the confusion in Philip's sweet face. Determined that her anguish would not be his last memory, she reached for him once again and held him as close as she could.

When it was time for her to release him, he surprised them all by taking hold of her face. His small hands were cold against her face and it was the oddest experience to watch the eyes she had given him stare innocently at her. "See you soon mama." He said sweetly and smiled, he had no real understanding of the implications of his words. But still, his words robbed her of her voice.

"Yes, my sweet boy. I will see you later." She forced herself to make a promise that was not hers to keep.

Undaunted by the emotional tension in the room, Philip hopped off the bed and took his father's hand. He smiled and waved before following his father out of the room.

* * *

She watched the door for some time after they had left. But fortunately, there was a lot to distract her from her heartbreak.

"Mrs Darcy," Dr Marlow began, "I do believe we must try and see if the child can be turned." He informed her, forcing reality in.

With a stubbornness that would only manifest itself later in the child's life, the baby had yet to turn. Despite the walking, praying and some stern words from the baby's father. Little Darcy remained stubbornly in its position. It was still moving, Elizabeth had daily assurances of that fact. But the baby had refused to move in the way they wanted, or at least that is what Elizabeth thought, until Dr Marlow said, "The baby has moved to the left." At her look of confusion, he elaborated. "it is believed that it is better for the baby to be on the left side of your abdomen."

"But the baby is still facing upwards?" She asked to clarify.

"I am afraid so."

"Then we begin." She replied with a determination that surprised her.

He had not exaggerated the level of pain and discomfort she would feel, and it took all her strength not to cry out as she squeezed the bed sheets beneath her.

"What are you doing?" Her mother asked on seeing her daughters pain. It was the first time Mrs Bennet expressed anything but delight at Dr Marlow's presence. Despite his novel ideas, Dr Marlow had somehow managed to gain Mrs Bennet's unwavering approval, and it was that approval that had ensured that Mrs Bennet did not maintain her displeasure at her daughter and her son-in-law's recalcitrant ways.

But to see her mother rising from her chaise to come to her aide was comforting.

"I am attempting to turn the baby ma'am."

"The baby is breeched?" Her mother asked in shock. "Oh, Elizabeth, you should have listened to me! All this walking about has caused harm to your baby" Her mother scolded before moving to take hold of her hand. Elizabeth turned to see the face of the woman who first loved her, and she was reminded that through it all, she was always loved by her mother.

She held her mother's hands through the pain, and when it got to be too much for her, she allowed herself to cry in front of her mother for the first time in many years. Mrs Bennet was the first person to hold and console her when Dr Marlow informed her that his efforts had been unsuccessful, she was the first person to dry her tears and the first to reassure her that all will be well.

* * *

When the sun came up, the rest of their guests arose with it. Her father sent his best wishes for her health along with a maid, and though she understood that he worried for her health, she also knew that there was nothing that would induce her father to join her by her bedside.

But she did not lament his absence, there was a lot to engage her mind whilst her labour progressed at a very slow pace. Whilst her lying-in chamber remained relatively calm, the rest of Pemberley was thrown into a frenzy. The people of the estate did not know whether to rejoice at the news that their Mistress had been brought to bed or to lament about the fire that was wreaking havoc on the estate.

To that end, Elizabeth was glad for Georgiana's strength and fortitude. She took over her role seamlessly, and her grace and gentle nature ensured that Pemberley was not thrown into a panic. She also came to give regular updates on the progress of everything.

As predicted the fire had spread, because of the insufficient amount of water available. So more and more families were being evacuated. Although the fire bore no resemblance to the Great Fire of London, it stilled needed delicate handling to ensure that the loss of livestock and produce could be minimised. The women and children that were brought into the house were seen to, and when the servants' quarters proved too small for the influx of people, Pemberley's ballroom was opened for their use.

By mid-day, Fitzwilliam returned to her. He had come straight from the outdoors and was covered in soot and dust, and he looked like a chimney sweeper. As soon as he showed himself at the door, he was ushered out by Mrs Bennet, Mrs Morris and Dr Marlow in one accord. They informed him that the lying-in chamber was no place for him whilst he was in such a state. With great delight, Mrs Bennet shut the door in front of the Master of Pemberley instructing him to ensure that he was cleaned and shaved before he came again. As her mother walked away, Elizabeth tried not to laugh at the self-satisfied look on her face.

When he returned, he was impeccably dressed. "How do you get on my love?" He asked as he knelt by her side.

"As well as I can be," she said as she made room for him on the bed by her side, "Things appear to have slowed down. I am experiencing more discomfort than pain."

"I am glad to hear that. I feared the baby would come before I could return. I had not expected to stay for so long."

"Well you are here now and all is well," she said and he kissed her temple. "I hear the fire has stopped. What is the extent of the damages?"

"Nothing too extreme, my uncle and your father have gone to oversee what needs to be done."

"Oh, is that where they went to."

"Yes, I believe they joined me as soon as they had broken their fast." She smiled at that new information, it warmed her heart to know that her father had exerted himself on her behalf after all. "I saw Philip on my way back." He informed her after some moments of silence.

"How is he doing?"

"Very well. I felt him playing with William. I do believe Mrs Lowell allowed him to return to sleep when he arrived."

After some time in his embrace, her mother stood from the chaise and said, "I think it is time you left Mr Darcy, we will let you know when the child is born."

"Oh no, mama. He can stay with me. We do not know how long it will be before the pain starts up again, and I want him with me whilst he can be here."

Her mother was about to protest but Fitzwilliam injected, "Why do you not go on and rest, ma'am I am sure you must be tired and I will ensure you are notified should things change."

"Elizabeth is the one that requires rest." Her mother argued.

"And I will see to it that she rests." Mrs Bennet was about to argue further, but when she really looked at them, she conceded that she could not have left her child in better hands. So she left; she was soon followed by Dr Marlow who went to see to any burn victims, leaving Mrs Morris and Ginevra to tend to Elizabeth should the need arise.

"Your mother is acting very strange." Fitzwilliam quietly observed.

"Hmm, yes. She was informed of the baby's precarious position and since then she has been very…motherly."

"Was Dr Marlow able to turn the baby?" He tentatively asked. When she shook her head, he merely drew her closer to him and wrapped her in his embrace.

Secured in his warmth she was able to get some sleep. But when she awoke some time later, she requested that he read to her. Some books of poetry were brought from the library, and the timbre of his voice added to her comfort.

It so happened that as he was reading one of her favourite Shakespeare sonnets, that her pain returned, and when it did it came with a vengeance. The hand that he had lovingly held, squeezed his so tightly as her back was once again set on fire.

"Finish it!" she shouted, trying to distract from the pain.

He hesitated for a moment and then acquiesced.

 _"But thy eternal summer shall not fade  
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;  
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,  
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st;  
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,  
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee."_

He continued to hold her hand after her pain had subsided . When she could open her eyes, she saw that the room was once again crowded.

"I think it is time you left Fitzwilliam," She said once her heart stopped racing and the pressure ceased. He made no protestations but merely arose, kissed her forehead, and walked into the adjoining room, where he remained, despite the screaming that tore him in two.

* * *

At first, Elizabeth had remained hopeful, she had reminded herself that pain was to be expected. Mrs Bennet was on hand to remind her that she had been in similar states five times, and the labour she went through to bear Elizabeth was the worst. At first, she had been able to bear the pain as long as the room remained silent and nobody moved or breathed whilst she was in the thralls of the pain.

But then one hour turned into two, and two turned into four, and then it was no longer bearable. Then she was no longer hopeful. Then Mrs Bennet stopped being of any support as she lamented Elizabeth's disobedience.

It was a comfort to know that she was not the only one who had reached the end of her tolerance for her mother's unique method of comforting others. She was surprised when timid little Mrs Morris' shouted, "madam if you cannot share words of comfort, or remain silent then I suggest you leave!"

The room remained silent as they all turned to see how Mrs Bennet would receive such unprecedented subordination, and Elizabeth could not have been more grateful when her mother simply picked up her skirts and ran from the room. In truth, Mrs Bennet had been looking for a way to leave the room, it was too much to ask of her frail nerves to ask her to witness what she thought was the death of one of her children.

But there were no improvements despite the absence of Mrs Bennet's misplaced notions of support. Every four minute Elizabeth's back was set alight with a pain so fierce that it was felt in her smallest toes.

When the end of the fifth hour came, and no changes occurred, the well-intentioned doctor attempted to ascertain the child's current position. Having agreed that there was nothing to gain from an internal examination – for Elizabeth was deemed too far gone for it to be of any use. He tried speaking to the exhausted mother.

"Mrs Darcy, can you feel the baby's head?" He asked. But as the pain had returned, there was no hope of receiving a coherent response. So he waited. As Elizabeth unclenched every muscle in her body, and as rivers of tears flowed from her eyes, he stepped forward to ask his all-important question. "What can you feel against you?"

Without the strength to shout "Get! Out!", Elizabeth merely shook her head and turned away from him.

"Oh move over!" Mrs Morris exclaimed, once again coming to Elizabeth's aid. "The baby needs to be turned or else all is lost." She declared. The good doctor had the sense to step aside. There was no time to gain Elizabeth's cooperation for what she intended to do, so with Ginevra and Lucy's help, Elizabeth was steadied on her hands and knees. There was no time to wait for gravity to do her work for her, so Mrs Morris took matters into her own hands and once again tried to externally turn the baby.

Her screams would hunt Pemberley for days.

But the relief of her success was felt instantaneously. Unable to support herself, Elizabeth's exhausted body collapsed onto the bed. When her patient was laid as comfortably as she could possibly be, Mrs Morris cursed herself for not having followed her instincts from the beginning. She had always been proud of the fact that she had not lost a woman in childbirth due to negligence, she hoped she would be able to say the same at the end of the day.

For though her efforts brought some relief, Elizabeth's strength was spent. She had fought and persevered. But she ached for sweet relief, she wanted to let go, if only for a second. When the next wave of pain came, she did not have the strength to notice that it had come earlier than expected. When relief came, she closed her eyes and let go for that second.

* * *

T _he mind was a fickle thing, Elizabeth thought as she found herself sitting in a carriage. She remembered this carriage, for she had been in it before. She knew that when she looked down she would see a beautiful little girl wrapping the ribbons of her dress around her little finger. She looked down and there was the girl, just as she remembered. She turned her head to see her son, as she had done over a year ago. He was once again talking about horses. She turned her head back to her daughter and waited for her to speak. On cue, the little girl said, "Philly don't do that! Mama look!" As expected, she turned to see her son with his hands out of the carriage window._

 _She tried not to laugh at his antics, but she could not help herself. "Philip stop that!" she heard and there was no doubt who that voice belonged to._

 _"Fitzwilliam" she turned and whispered, but his eyes were not on her, he was more interested in ensuring that his son had followed his instructions._

 _"Yes papa," she heard Philip say, but she paid him no attention. Her eyes remained on her husband's face as she took every single detail in. In truth, he had not changed. The years had been good to him._

 _It was ridiculous, she thought, to waste time looking at the man she knew. When before her sat a girl she did not know. So she turned back to the little girl and tried to take her in. They were so similar; except her eyes, she had her father's eyes._

 _But as she continued to stare, the vision before her took on an eerie quality as though her eyes were failing. And just as she was about to let go once again, she heard Philip call out, "see you soon mama."_

* * *

She was pulled sharply into the chaos surrounding her and for the rest of her days, the exact sequence of events will always elude her. They were sent into the abyss along with the memory of what she had seen in that carriage. She did remember that someone was panicking beside her, but she did not remember who that was.

The next thing she remembered was being told to bear down and push, and when she proclaimed she did not have the strength to do so, Ginevra was instructed to support her back. After 30 minutes, which felt like a lifetime, the baby came silently into the world.

There was no need to fear the child's silence, for she was soon induced to cry. When the doctor had announced that she was perfectly healthy, she was welcomed into her mother's warm embrace.

It was all, to an extent, forgotten the second mother and daughter met one another. "She is so beautiful!" Elizabeth found the energy to say. But too soon the baby was collected from her to be cleaned. Mercifully, the afterbirth came out without ceremony. When Dr Marlow could be sure that all was well, he left the ladies to inform those who had gathered in the adjoining room that all was well. When Elizabeth was ready to receive them, Fitzwilliam came first.

That he was distressed, she could easily see. She had not been alone in her pain. "My dear wife," he said softly as he sat beside her and kissed her head. The share no words for a heartbeat or two; before the little bundle in her hands demanded some of her father's attention.

"May I introduce you to your daughter, sir." She said with great emotion and gladly watched as joy chased out his anguish.

"My daughter," he whispered reverently as the blanket was rearranged so that he could see his child. He stretched out his hands and Elizabeth happily transferred the baby's weight into his hands. "Welcome my dear," he whispered as he laid his lips on her forehead.

"You took your time." Elizabeth quipped.

"Aye."

The parents were allowed a moment with their new child before the rest of the family could no longer bear their curiosity. When they had gathered around the bed, Elizabeth did the honours and conducted the introductions, "may I present to you all, Miss Evelina Mariana Jane Elizabeth Darcy," she said with great pride.

"Oh, she is beautiful." Mrs Bennet cooed as she drew closer, she stretched forth her hand and her grand-daughter was handed over to her care

"She has enough names to suit a member of the royal family." Uncle Anthony observed and they all laughed.

"Well, she can be known as Miss Evelina," Elizabeth replied.

"Like the novel?" Georgiana asked in surprise.

"Yes," she said before turning to her husband and laughing with him.

"Although we would not want her to share too many attributes with Miss Burney's Evelina."

"Hmm, no we will want her to have more wisdom and discernment."

"She is beautiful." Mrs Bennet said again and Elizabeth turned to see her father and mother observing her child. "More beautiful than Jane ever was." Her mother said to everyone's surprise

"She looks like Lizzy." Her father observed.

"Yes, she does." Her mother admitted as she looked upon her daughter's face with love and admiration.


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Thank you also much for your patience and for encouraging me to finish this story. I have loved the opportunity to share this story with you all. Your reviews have been such an encouragement to read and I love that many have come to love these characters as I love them. A special thank you to Pogonia and Medusa for taking time out of your busy schedules to proof read some of the chapters for me. This is the last chapter of The Road Taken, I hope you enjoy it.**

Chapter 31

Elizabeth ran her fingers through the soft hairs of the carpet beneath her. The floor around her was covered in all manner of toys and she had joined her son on his carpet as they played with his army. She smiled as he recited with great passion the rules of combat. His knowledge of the ranks of his wooden men was quite impressive - but then he had been in The Colonel's company quite a lot of late. She stared at the unruly mop of curls on his head as he meticulously lined his troops for battle. He was in need of a haircut, she thought as she resisted the temptation to run her hands through his silken locks; he would not appreciate the distraction.

It had been a while since they had sat and played. The last few months had called for some adjustments and in truth, they were still adjusting. He could not understand why his mother seemed to give all her attention to his new sister and she struggled to accept that it was acceptable, for now, that others saw to his needs.

A sharp bark pulled her out of her thoughts and she turned to see Philip and Duke fighting over the soldier that Duke had claimed as his chew toy.

"Naughty!" Philip rebuked when he finally reclaimed ownership of the dishevelled lieutenant and returned him to his comrades. She quickly picked up the disobedient pup to prevent him from claiming another victim, and together they sat in silence as Philip's imagination ran wild.

It was one of her greatest treasures to watch is face light up as his imagination bubbled within him. He was a very smart boy, she thought proudly.

"Mama." He called with mild irritation, pulling her out of her distraction.

"Sorry, my boy." She said as she released the wriggling pup to see to her infantry as Philip rose up to do battle against her.

"Ah – your General cannot do that!" she cried ten minutes into their game as her entire infantry was defeated by one wooden man and his horse.

"Yes, he can!" He cried out defiantly with the mischievous smile that she had given him.

"No, a battle cannot be won by one man." She said, desperately trying to keep the laughter from her voice.

"Yes, it can!" He cried once again before openly mocking her. So she launched at him, destroying their battlefield, and mounted the only offence left in her arsenal – she tickled him.

"Mama, no!" he cried as he let out bells of laughter, but she showed no mercy. When he finally surrendered, she pushed aside the fallen soldiers and made a bed on the carpet for them to lay on. Not willing to be left out of the fun, Duke left his piece of morsel and joined them. Using his nostril, he cleared a path through the fallen soldiers before forcing his way into their midst and for a time all three of them remained peaceful

But it was not long before reality intruded on their peace, and she felt the tightening in her chest that informed her that she was needed elsewhere. She stood up, adjusted what she could of her hair and dress and then said, "my dear it is time for you to return to your lessons."

"No mama," he cried petulantly as he folded his arms.

"Now, none of that." She gently admonished. "We would not want to upset Mrs Hopkins, would we." She held his gaze until he submitted before pulling him up to kiss is forehead. She called for a maid to call his nurse before making her way to where she was needed.

When she arrived at the door of the other nursery, she was not surprised to see that the room was already occupied. He was there; he was almost always there. She smiled at the back of her tall regal husband as he held their precious bundle in his large arms. She was no longer as small and delicate as she looked a month ago, but she still looked as though she could be swallowed up in his arms. It was one of the most precious things she had ever been privileged to witness, and so she took the time to admire them. Her genteel fussing did not subtract from the moment, for it induced him to transfer her onto his shoulders and gently rock her.

"Shh - quiet now," he whispered soothingly in the voice he reserved for their children.

But her needs were very great, and so she began to remind him that she was not so easily placated.

Not willing to incur their daughter's wrath, she called out, "as soothing as her father's arms are, I think Miss Evelina is in need of her mother."

He turned and gave her a brilliant smile before approaching her with his precious bundle. "Yes, I was just coming to the conclusion myself." He kissed her forehead before handing over the baby and helping her to settle into the rocking chair. Once she was settled, he bowed very formally _,_ as though she were the queen, before leaving her to her duty.

"Your papa is a very strange man," she smiled at their daughter, as she proceeded to feed her. The baby girl that settled into her arms was so vastly different that it was to be marvelled at. Her features were still beautifully delicate, but there was no reason to fear for her. She was thriving.

* * *

 _It was some time after she was born before Miss Evelina found her way back into her mother's arms. She had been passed around from her grandfather to her grandmother, to her great uncle to her aunts and finally to her father, where she remained until it became clear that she absolutely needed her mother. The men were ushered out of the room by the baby's grandmother, and mother and daughter were finally reunited._

 _As Elizabeth settled her child to feed her, she marvelled at the baby in her arms. She was delicate, but not alarmingly small. Although the first thing Elizabeth noticed was the fact that she was decidedly smaller than Philip was. The small features of her face seemed to gather around to emphasise her large eyes. There had been some debate around the colour of her eyes, but as the baby did not keep her eyes open long enough for the colour to be ascertained, everyone remained in suspense. The little hairs that gathered at the base of her head and around her ears were quite dark and definitely curled. She was a precious little thing and as Elizabeth absorbed every aspect of her being, a peace settled upon her that was bewildering in its intensity. It defied the pain she had experienced and even the small pain she now experienced as she fed her child._

 _As the baby settled to sleep, the doctor and nurses returned but Elizabeth could not pay attention to their words or their actions. Dr Marlow provided an ointment of his own creation that he was convinced would help stay any infection. He gave some instructions for its application as well as some other instructions for the cleanliness of the room she was to occupy for the next month. She frown when he spoke of his inability to reassure her that such an arduous labour would have no lasting ramifications. But she concluded there was no use worrying about what she could neither change nor guarantee._

 _If called to account for the next few days after the birth of Miss Evelina, the accounts of both parents would be vastly different. For Elizabeth, there were many precious moments dispersed amongst a lot of pain and discomfort._

 _The first of those moments was when Philip was introduced to his sister. They had no notion of how he would accept a rival for his parent's attention, and before he was brought into the room, Elizabeth worried that he would on principle dislike what must seem like an intruder in their midst._

 _He was carried into the room with such a solemn look on his face that Elizabeth had to laugh. Father and son sat on her bed as Elizabeth conducted the introductions._

 _"Philip, this is Evelina, your sister." She said softly as though he was a startled fawn._

 _"Sister?" He asked as he disentangled himself from his father's arms so that he might get a better look at the baby. He pulled back the swaddling cloth and straight away his fingers went to her little nose. They all watched silently as his fingers naturally travelled to her small but full cheeks. "She is sleeping!" he observed as he stroked her cheek. They smiled as the baby's eyes fluttered and her head tilted towards her brother._

 _It was a precious moment, but it could not last forever. Receiving no further entertainment from the new edition to their family, Philip shuffled to his mother's side and began to regale her with all that had happened during their small separation. Relieved that their first meeting had gone so well, Elizabeth was happy to give her son her full attention._

 _But as predicted, when Evelina began to cry for her mother's attention, her brother was not pleased to be interrupted. He was also displeased to find that he had to be carried away from his mother's presence so that she could give his sister her full attention._

 _It was a memorable meeting, all things considered, and despite the initial strain in their relationship, the bond they would later share was undeniable._

* * *

 _The next day brought as much turmoil as the previous, but it was a joyful sort of chaos. Mrs Bennet's behaviour had defied expectations, but as her mother charged into her lying-in chamber as she fed her daughter, Elizabeth suspected the truce she shared with her mother had come to an end. Determined to ensure that the peace would last until she was done feeding her child, Elizabeth refused to meet her mother's gaze._

 _Once Evelina was full, she settled to sleep and allowed her grandmother to have her say._

 _"Elizabeth, I do wish you would reconsider," Mrs Bennet said softly, "you have many responsibilities and having a wet-nurse would allow you to return to your duties to your husband and his estate."_

 _"Thank you, mama," Elizabeth smiled as she took hold of her mother's hand. "But I do think I can manage to care for all my family. We will adjust as needs demand."_

 _"But what of your duty?" Her mother worried. "Surely you know the effects nursing will have on your ability to conceive and you still have to produce an heir for Pemberley. Consider Mr Darcy, he must be very worried that you produce an heir for Lord Rockwood, but not for Pemberley. Do not make my mistakes my dear."_

 _"I am sure, mama, that Mr Darcy does not feel himself ill-used, how could he with such a beautiful little girl. In due time an heir will come." To further her point, Elizabeth offered the sleeping child to its grandmother._

 _"She is a beautiful girl," her mother reiterated, "very delicate, with such large eyes." She said laughing softly as Evelina sucked on her lower lip._

 _Her mother was besotted! Elizabeth observed with mild amusement, she had finally done something right in her mother's eyes. How strange that it should be the birth of her daughter that produced such a change. She wondered if the arduous labour she had just experienced had anything to do with her mother's new found tolerance._

 _"Who will be fostering her?" Mrs Bennet barely looked up to ask._

 _"No one mama, she will be staying with us."_

 _"Oh! Well, I suppose Pemberley is large enough to accommodate that. Although many will disapprove."_

 _"Hmm, I imagine those determined to be displeased will find something to satisfy their appetite. In any case, fostering is becoming less fashionable, and since I did not send Philip away I will not send her away either."_

 _"Well it is hardly the same thing," Mrs Bennet protested, "Philip was the heir..."_

 _"And so is she," Elizabeth interrupted. "Pemberley is not entailed away; she can inherit as long as her husband takes on the Darcy name."_

 _"Well, I would advise that you produce a male heir forthwith. There is a certain respect afforded to a gentleman when he has a son, and Philip's existence increases the importance of your doing so."_

 _Elizabeth's response was interrupted by Fitzwilliam's entrance. He smiled sweetly at her while indicating that he had come to see his daughter. As her mother handed over the baby, they both watched him carefully._

 _There was a little awkwardness in his handling of her, but it was clear that with time such things would become more natural. She had no reason to fear his disappointment, even without his previous declarations that he would be happy with a girl, the love he had for Evelina was so plain even a blind man could see it._

* * *

 _Soon family and well-wishers descended upon Pemberley. Per Dr Marlow's instructions, Elizabeth took some mild exercise and waited upon all her guests, and since it was the good doctor's instructions Fitzwilliam could say nothing against it. She did suspect that it was Dr Marlow's way of apologising for being an utter nuisance during the birth and so gracefully accepted his assistance in ensuring that she was not smothered by her mother's ideas and her husband's fears._

 _So many guests arrived at Pemberley that Elizabeth felt some pity for Georgiana, for she had taken up the task of being mistress whilst Elizabeth had been indisposed. Mrs Bennet had offered to step into the role, but despite her changed manner, it was agreed that it would be asking too much of her for her to change so much that she might manage Pemberley in an orderly fashion. And since Mrs Bennet's help was refused, Lady Matlock, Lady Northwick and Lady Julia's offers were also refused._

 _But despite the guests and the chaos, Georgiana managed splendidly. So when it was finally time for Elizabeth to be churched there was not a hair out of place in the smooth running of her household._

 _Evelina was thereafter christened, Miss Evelina Jane Darcy – the rest of her elaborate name was omitted at the insistence of her great uncle, Bishop Darcy. The Colonel and Jane were called upon to be her Godparents and after a very elaborate dinner party, Pemberley's many guests began returning to their homes and the family settled into their new routine._

* * *

After she finished seeing to her daughter, Elizabeth left the nursery in search of her husband. There was a matter of great importance that could no longer be postponed. After a moment's consideration, she picked up their daughter and went in search of Fitzwilliam.

As she navigated her way through Pemberley's long halls, she formulated her arguments in her head. She knew he would be against what she was asking for, that was definitely guaranteed, but that did not diminish its importance. Her health was no longer an issue, it was miraculous that despite the birth it had never been an issue.

Of course, she was tired. She had been tired for weeks before Evelina's birth and she was still tired. But there were no fevers for her or the baby and by the second week, Dr Marlow felt confident in declaring that she would return to full health. She had requested that he keep his fears about her ability to conceive again to himself, and he had agreed to do so until he could say with certainty whether she could or could not do so.

As far as she could tell there was no difference in her health from three years ago. So she felt there should be no restrictions placed on her movements, and she was greatly needed in London.

Lady Julia had brought news of Amelia's declining health. She was still with child, but if things did not change, Amelia was unlikely to survive the birth of her child. She had tried to maintain a correspondence with Amelia, and she had been successful until about three months ago, she had stopped writing to anyone and Amelia had stopped writing as well.

"Elizabeth, what are you doing?" Fitzwilliam asked shocked to see his wife and daughter in his study. He stood to collect his precious child. "Did you come all this way by yourself? What if something had happened? Or you lost your footing?" He chided as he snuggled his daughter in his arms. "I must insist that you do not take the stairs unaccompanied. Better yet, give the baby to a footman that he might carry her. She is no longer as small as she was when she was born." He said returning to his chair, he had already given his attention to his daughter so he did not notice her look of disapproval.

"I can manage just fine." She said protesting his disapproval and neglect, "I carried Philip up those stairs and he is thrice the weight." She continued when he simply frowned at her.

"Carrying Philip is not the same thing as carrying a month old baby." He chastised, before kissing the baby's forehead. This caused her to open her large brown eyes and further enthral her father, as her lips turned in a slight smile. Elizabeth had to pity him a little, there was no hope for him.

"In any case, I have not come here to argue with you." She declared as she sat on the chaise. She had to cough to get his attention before she indicated for him to join her. When he did so, she took a hold of the one hand he was not using to secure his daughter so that she might receive some of his attention. "My love, I will like for us to go to London." His back straightened and his brow furrowed.

"I see. For what reason?" He asked calmly.

"So that I might wait on Lady Durham." The crease in his brow deepened. "From what I understand from Lady Julia her confinement is not progressing without any threat of ill health and I am fearful for her life."

"Does she not have the support of others? I believe you told me her mother was with her, and I believe she has sisters."

"Yes. But we both know a lady's mother is not always the best support in such times as these, and as for her sisters, they are not married and so unable to help whatever their inclinations."

"But there are others available. She will have an accoucheur to tend to her and nurses and if all else fails she has Lady Julia. I cannot imagine there is anything you can do for her."

She paused for a minute to acknowledge his disapproval, took a deep breath before she persisted in her persuasion, "yes she has others on hand, but I am convinced that they are not of any help. Dr Richmond is in charge of her care, and for all his wisdom he is still a fool. Her mother had never supported her and would certainly not do so when it means opposing a renowned doctor and I am sure the nurses follow Dr Richmond's instructions. As for Lady Julia, she has been called away from London, and she was never particularly close to Amelia."

"Neither were you. If I remember correctly."

"Aye. There was a point when I was displeased with her. But I have come to the conclusion that we were both the victim, she even more than I. So it is incumbent that I consider what unites us and support her, it is my Christian duty." Seeing that he was not yet convinced, she drew closer and kissed his hand, "Fitzwilliam the truth is, Lady Durham is experiencing what I experienced a month ago. Except if you can conceive it, her situation is worse than mine was because she is without the appropriate support. It is an unimaginable position and I refuse to ignore it when it is in my power to help."

"What of the risk to yours and Evelina's health." He asked, his tone was greatly softened by the reminder of what they had just overcome.

"I am restored to full health. If that was not the case, my mother would still be here." She quipped, "and I think Evelina has proven she takes after her mother's good health." Together they turned and smiled at their robust baby whose rosy cheeks appeared to serve her mother's point. "Fitzwilliam I know the risks, I would avoid London like the plague, but I fear for my friend's life and I want to know I did the best I could."

"What about when we reach London." He declared finally conceding, "it is the middle of the season and we will be called upon and invited to participate. It is hardly the time for such things."

"I heartily agree. So I propose we keep the knocker off the door and let it be known we are not available to any guests. I will go and see Amelia and if I am not needed we will return to Pemberley forthwith. Otherwise, we will return the second her child is delivered."

"When is her confinement expected to end?"

"In June, I believe."

There was a long pause as he silently considered everything he had been told, when he kissed her hand she smiled brilliantly. "I will make the necessary preparations." He said with a smile.

"Thank you, my darling." She said with great jubilation as she leant over and kissed his lips.

"Will we be bringing Philip with us?"

"I would hate to leave him on his own, perhaps Georgiana can stay with him."

* * *

In the end, they went as a family. It was not an easy journey and at every stage, Elizabeth questioned the need for making the journey at all. But a quarter of the way there, it was Fitzwilliam that encouraged her to persevere. He reminded her that she would do the same for any of her sisters and since the news of Jane's condition had called Mrs Bennet from Pemberley to Ledford Hall, it was easy to imagine that she was making the journey for Jane.

When they finally reached London, Elizabeth was surprised to see that they were not heading in the direction she expected.

"Where are we?" She requested when the carriage stopped outside a charming house in Clover square.

"Lady Anne's house." Her husband informed her as he helped her and the nurse to alight.

"Your mother's house?" She queried as she stared at the quiet stately house.

"Yes, it was a gift to my mother from my father on the occasion of my birth."

"Your mother had her own household?" She asked surprised at that fact, somehow that did not fit the image she had of her late in-laws.

"No, she was given the house because it was the custom to do so. But she never actually formed her own household. Since the house is not well known I thought this might be the best way to successfully avoid the curiosity of the ton."

They stepped into a well-proportioned stone house that was very similar to Darcy House. But it was clear from the furnishings and design that it had been neglected for some time now. Everything was extremely outdated and Elizabeth could not help but smile as she observed the excitement on Georgiana's face. The house presented such an unbridled opportunity for her creativity to be unleashed.

They quickly settled into the house and it was not long before Elizabeth entered into the carriage to make her way to Durham house. It was a little past the time for calling, but she hoped such restrictions would not be placed on her. Her past relationship with the master of the house had allowed her to come and go as she pleased. But she prayed that there would be no need to interact with him as she saw to her friend's needs.

She had considered a little of what it would be like to see him again after almost a year since she found herself terribly disillusioned. She was happy to see her anger had dissipated, and she credited her change in perspective to the love and security she found in her husband. But it was unlikely that she would see him; the word about town was that he now gave his mistress his full attention.

She was received warmly by the butler and was escorted to the mistress's suite. She had expected the room to be dark and unappealing, but she could not quite prepare for the disheartening atmosphere that saturated the room. She could just about see Lady Edwards (Amelia's mother). But as she made her way to her friend's side, nothing could prepare her for what she saw.

Amelia was a shell of her former self. Gone was the unaffected beauty that radiated from her person, and all that was left was a hollow being unrecognisable to those who knew and loved Amelia. She had to prevent herself from making any loud exclamations as she collected her friend's pale and cold hands. She had to take a second glance at her friend to truly believe that it was possible for Amelia to become such a shadow of her former self. An air of neglect and submission clung around her that it sent a chill through her bones. The latter scared her more than anything, experience had taught her that sometimes the difference between life and death was the will to survive.

"My dear friend," Elizabeth whispered as though she was scared that her very words might incur damages if they were said too loudly.

"Lizzy you came!" The joy in Amelia's voice was marred by the obvious energy it took for her to express such sentiments. Gathering her hands more firmly into her own, Elizabeth leant over to kiss her friend on her forehead. They had never shared that kind of a friendship, but it was the only response she could muster as she observed Amelia shrouded underneath her heavy blanket despite the warmth of the room.

As she looked around the darkened room, she made the decision to fight. Releasing her friend's hand, she walked to the large velvet curtains and threw them aside. Despite the dullness of the day, light flooded into the room and chased away the darkness.

"Lady – Mrs Darcy!" Lady Edwards cried out, but she was ignored as Elizabeth walked over to the second curtains and threw them open. She then proceeded to call for a servant. "Mrs Darcy, what are you doing?" Lady Edwards asked as she walked over to undo her action. But Elizabeth was quick to stop her progress.

"They stay open!" She declared, and the ferocity of her voice was enough to confound and silence Lady Edwards. A maid appeared as Amelia attempted to rise, and she was quick to help her mistress. With her friend more comfortably situated Elizabeth addressed the maid. "I want someone to send a message to my coachmen, they are to return to bring my daughter and her maid. I will give you a message to give to them. Please bring a pen, some ink and some paper. Also, inform the cook that Lady Durham requires some bread and hot soup and then she will have a hot bath." The maid turned to her mistress to receive her approval before she left to do as instructed.

"Thank you," Amelia whispered as tears gathered in her eyes.

"Lady Edwards, a word if you please." She indicated to the sitting room next door and the Lady was too stunned to do anything but follow. But when the entered Amelia's private rooms, she was too stunned to speak.

"What do you think you are doing?" Lady Edwards demanded. "You have no authority here."

"Will _you_ be exercising your authority, as her mother, to ensure that she is well cared for?" Elizabeth asked as calmly as she could.

"She is receiving the best care imaginable!" the Lady shouted, unwilling to moderate her voice. "Dr Richmond is seeing to her care; I believe you are familiar with the doctor?"

"Dr Richmond is a fool." She boldly declared.

"How can you slander the doctor in such a manner? Have you taken leave of your senses? I suggest you leave now, Mrs Darcy. You are not needed here." She declared in a voice that suggested the issue was not to be debated.

"What has she been given to eat?" Elizabeth asked with anger, although she knew the answer to her question. She had first-hand knowledge of the small portions and strange foods Dr Richmond recommended for a woman with child. "Do you not wonder that the offer of soup and bread should bring about such gratitude from your daughter!"

"Her diet is being monitored by Dr Richmond and its benefits are well recorded."

"She will starve on Dr Richmond's measly diet," Elizabeth said, stopping the Lady from exiting the room.

"That diet has served women all over town for years now, I assure you my daughter will not starve."

"But she will not have strength enough to deliver." That more than anything stopped the Lady in her tracks. "You can see that her strength is spent. What harm can sunlight, fresh air and food do to her or her baby."

"Untold harm! Amelia knows her duty; she knows the risk."

"You do not expect her to survive!" Elizabeth gasped in shock. "In fact, you know she will not if things continue in this manner!" The small trace of pain across the Lady's face was enough to rob Elizabeth of her breath. But much too soon the pain was replaced with resignation.

"Amelia knows her duty. She must provide her husband with an heir. There are necessary risks attached to that duty. You yourself know this! But we press on and do what we must, you would do the same."

"No, I would not! Not if death was guaranteed! Yes, childbirth carries risks, not certain death. That should not be the case for Amelia, not when it can be helped!

"Well if you will not help her, I will." Elizabeth pronounced after a thick silence had settled in their midst. She gazed sternly at the Lady before her before making her way to the door. But Lady Edwards grabbed her by the hand and stilled her step. Before she could speak, Elizabeth asked, "Would you really sacrifice your daughter for such a worthless man's heritage?" As she stared into her eyes, she met no pain, anger or sadness; just resignation. So Elizabeth pulled her hand out of Lady Edwards grip and return to her friend. _She_ was not resigned to her friend's death.

* * *

Elizabeth set forth to rebuild her friend's strength in the hopes that hope might follow strength. In this great task she would brook no opposition. When she met with Dr Richmond she politely informed him, on her friend's behalf, that his services were no longer needed. He determined that since he was hired by Lord Durham he could not be released by anyone but Lord Durham. But when it became clear that Lord Durham would not exert himself to return and see the disturbances she was causing in his home, Dr Richmond had no choice but to conclude that there were other people more deserving of his time. Elizabeth was sure to inform him that he was being replaced by a simple country midwife as she showed him the way out.

By the third day, Lady Durham had enough strength to move unaided from her bed to her chair, and she happily held and cooed over little Evelina. Elizabeth made the short journey from Darcy House to Durham House early in the morning and returned early in the evening. The only reason she did not take up residence was for Philip and Fitzwilliam's sake.

Lady Edwards did not withhold from expressing her disapproval of Elizabeth's high-handed manner, but the marked improvement in her friend's health made it easy to ignore her and when Mrs Morris arrived the Lady felt her presence was no longer needed. After having almost lost a mother by remaining silent, Mrs Morris had determined that such a mistake would not be repeated twice; especially when dealing with the gentry.

The beginning of June found Elizabeth and Amelia out in the gardens in an effort to enjoy the sunshine. They had shared a picnic of cold meats and warm soup and when the servants had retreated, they remained on the blanket taking turns to entertain little Evelina. It was quite hot, as expected for this time of year, and there was no country breeze to cool them. But Amelia had insisted, she had not returned to full health – after all, she was with child – but her light had returned and so had Elizabeth's hope that her friend could survive. As the small wind moved through the escaped strands of her friend's hair, as she bent her head to tickle the baby, Elizabeth had to marvel at the change tender loving care had wrought.

She was not solely responsible for her friend's transformation; Mrs Morris had been invaluable in her assistance. After being bed bound for many months there had been a lot more to worry about than Amelia's diet. But they had gently nursed her back to health. The changes were not just in her friend's outward appearance. She reciprocated more than just gratitude in her dealings with them. But Elizabeth could only hope that her experiences would cause her to search for that inner strength that would serve her well in the months to come. Lord Durham's absence was duly noted; Elizabeth had summarised that her presence had much to do with his absence and she was sorry for it. But Amelia as adamant about whom she chose. Despite her choice, it was clear that her friend was still pained by her abandonment.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by her daughter's sweet laughter. Her small arm continued in their efforts to reach for Lady Durham's fan which had been dedicated to her amusement. She smiled with them as the fan was discarded and the baby was picked up and cuddled and kissed.

"What if after everything the baby is a girl?" Amelia asked softly after staring at the baby before her.

"Then you are blessed amongst women," Elizabeth replied as she collected her friend's hand in hers. There was no time to be angry that a daughter should be so undervalued that the birth of one should be a thing to be feared – although the thought did fleetingly enter into her head. "That is tomorrow's worries, today we focus on you and what you need." That had been Elizabeth's response whenever her friend tried to dwell on that which was beyond her control.

"Will tomorrow ever come?" Amelia asked with mild irritation.

"No it never does," Elizabeth quipped. "Tomorrow is a cruel mistress; always elusive in its dealings with men. I always long for it, but whenever I wake up I find myself always in today. I think it wise to never worry about tomorrow's problems when I have today's issues to care for. To never desire tomorrow more than I do today."

"Which of your great philosophers do you credit with such ideas," Amelia asked after some time of quiet reflection.

Elizabeth chuckled and said, "that my dear, is entirely my own thoughts, and all the more difficult to follow." She finished with a sigh.

* * *

Three days after their picnic in the park Elizabeth was awoken from her sleep and informed that Amelia's time was upon her. As she hastened to get ready Fitzwilliam reminded her of the fact; that Amelia's health had greatly improved, the baby was in the correct position and that they were to have faith when their strength failed. He saw her to the carriage and informed her Evelina would be sent to her as soon as she could be readied.

They had decided that since Lord Durham had returned home, Fitzwilliam would not accompany her, he did not deserve such notice.

When she arrived, she was met at the door by the very man himself, there was no time to do anything but curtsy before she hastened up the stairs and into Amelia's lying-in chamber. Upon her arrival, she was greeted by Lady Edward's and Amelia's lady maid. She greeted Lady Edward's before moving to get an account of the progression of things from Mrs Morris. When she was assured that everything was as to be expected she went to see to her friend.

As expected the baby was no respecter of time, but small mercies were granted; the labour was not unnecessarily difficult. When it was finally time for the birthing chair to be used, Elizabeth was happy to offer the necessary support. After the necessary work was done, they all held their breath as the child was welcomed into the world.

"It is a girl." Mrs Morris offered so that everyone might release their breath. But the cry of despair Amelia released seared through flesh, bone and marrow. She held her friend as she wailed with despair and she watched heartbroken as Amelia cried along with her child.

Amelia was inconsolable; she cried that she had failed as she was transported from the chair to her bed. She paid no attention to the comfort Elizabeth tried to offer and refused to look at the evidence of her failure. When the maid had finally cleaned the baby, Elizabeth received her in her warm arms and tried to give her the comfort she deserved.

Determined to be unhelpful, Lady Edwards declared, "I knew it! I said it all along that it was not wise to reject Dr Richmond's counsel, who knows what damage she has wrought." She stared at Elizabeth with such anger that it was clear who was to blame.

"Please keep your lamentations to yourself mother! You are not the injured party here." Her daughter cried out above her sorrow.

The door was opened and in the midst of all the chaos and anguish, Lord Durham step forward. Any hope Elizabeth had that he would at least be reasonable, was desecrated by the look on his face. His anger was palpable and it stirred up her anger.

"You have disappointed me," he said in a slow and deliberate manner that cause her to step forward in defence.

"My Lord consider this a…"

"Silence!" He shouted interrupting his mother in law.

She watched as rage marred his once handsome features. How could he have successfully hidden this ugly side to his character she wondered, as he looked upon his wife who had exhausted herself to bear his child with nothing but contempt. It was too much.

"I hardly think this is the time for such discussions," Elizabeth said as she saw her friend cower under his gaze.

"I think it is time you left us, Mrs Darcy." He declared not taking his eyes off his wife. When she did not move to follow is instruction he turned his gaze on her. They stared at one and other in a stalemate that she was determined would last a lifetime if necessary. What had happened to fill him with such darkness, she wondered. She did not want to believe that she had been so fooled, that he was always so depraved.

"Lizzy." Amelia called her attention, "leave us." she whispered, her voice so defeated. Elizabeth stared into her soul searching for the inner strength that would arise and see her through this difficult period.

But she was not convinced by what she saw. So she stepped forward and stood right in front of Lord Durham; blocking his path to his wife. He was startled to see her so close, but he did not withdraw his disapproval.

"My Lord, Lady Durham has delivered a healthy baby girl." She began with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. "We all rejoice with her and pray for her continued health. I am sure you are desirous to spend some time with your family during this happy occasion. I will leave you all, but I will return tomorrow to be assured that my friend continues in good health and a sound mind."

"There will be no need for you to return tomorrow, Mrs Darcy." He replied, his smile very tight.

"I have seven thousand reasons to do so, My Lord." She offered him a sweet smile and was pleased to see surprise and indignation spread across his face. Executing a small curtsy, she walked to her friend's side to give her her child. When Amelia still refused to hold her, the nursemaid stepped forward, but Elizabeth would not relinquish her to anyone but her mother. "Your daughter, Amelia." She said softly, pleading with her friend to look upon her child. Eventually, Amelia righted herself and collected her baby. As Amelia's tears began anew, Elizabeth squeezed her friend's hand before kissing mother and baby on their foreheads before taking her leave of them.

As she passed by Lord Durham she made sure her tear stained eyes conveyed the seriousness of her threat. She did not truly imagine he would physically harming his wife and daughter, but she knew that was not the only way her friend could be hurt.

When she was out of the mistress' chamber, she picked up her skirts and hastened down the stairs. Her heart broke as she waited for her carriage to be readied as she fought against the desire to return to Amelia's side. But she knew she would do more harm than good if she were to antagonise Lord Durham further.

When she was finally seated in her carriage, she collected her baby girl from Ginevra's arms and cried the short journey home.

Her feet hastened her in search of her husband. When she burst into his study, he jumped onto his feet in search of the fire.

"It was a girl," she composed herself enough to say. Before she gave herself over to more tears. Immediately he walked around his desk and wrapped his arms around her as he led her to the chaise. He collected their daughter with one hand and wrapped the other around her. Drawing her into his embrace as she cried for her friend.

As she was surrounded by his love she considered that of the few paths available to women in this world - she was well pleased with the road she had taken.

 **A/N: I did not write the end because I truly hope it is not the end. I have expressed an interest in continuing these character's stories, but I would appreciate the help of someone who has a knowledge of regency history and customs or can appropriately sign-post me. Please let me know if any of you are interested. Goodbye for now.**


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